Aloha Law We've all had these moments, when we just can't seem to let go of our irritation over a perceived slight, our anger over someone's rudeness or failure to meet our expectations, or another's unwillingness to "see things our way." Whether we need to be right, or just need to have our feelings acknowledged, our inability to "let it go" creates anxiety, tension, stress, and distance in our relationships.

Tip: Learning to "let it go"

Of course, our ideal in these situations would be to have a skillful conversation with someone and, as a result, have had the opportunity to authentically share our perspective and receive the acknowledgement, apology or agreement that we might be seeking. However, this solution still relies upon our own skillfulness, as well as another person's participation, skillfulness and alignment with our preferences and expectations. Sometimes this ideal happens; usually it does not.

What we do have complete control over, though, is our own ability to choose to communicate clearly and respectfully about our perceptions of something (or our misunderstanding of it), and we can choose to ease up, mind our own behavior and mindset, and let go of our expectations that others act in a specific way to meet our needs. We can also intend to connect with the type of people who are also interested in these goals.

To be more skillful at "letting it go," you might start by asking yourself this question whenever you're feeling tense over someone else's inability or unwillingness to see things our way:

Here is an excerpt from the Aloha Law from the Hawaii State Statutes:

"'Aloha Spirit' is the coordination of mind and heart within each person. It brings each person to the self. Each person must think and emote good feelings to others. In the contemplation and presence of the life force, 'Aloha,' the following unuhi laula loa may be used:

* 'Akahai,' meaning kindness, to be expressed with tenderness;

* 'Lokahi,' meaning unity, to be expressed with harmony;

* 'Oluolu,' meaning agreeable, to be expressed with pleasantness;

* 'Haahaa", meaning humility, to be expressed with modesty;

* 'Ahonui,' meaning patience, to be expressed with perseverance.

These are traits of character that express the charm, warmth and sincerity of Hawaii's people. It was the working philosophy of native Hawaiians and was presented as a gift to the people of Hawaii. 'Aloha' is more than a word of greeting or farewell or a salutation. 'Aloha' means mutual regard and affection and extends warmth in caring with no obligation in return. 'Aloha' is the essence of relationships in which each person is important to every other person for collective existence. 'Aloha' means to hear what is not said, to see what cannot be seen and to know the unknowable."

What would happen right now if I had no specific rules, expectations or "personal stories" about this situation?

THE PAST....REAL FRIENDS/FORGIVENESS

The past cannot be altered. The past is held in a state of eternal suspension, the words and deeds live there forever, the events were and nothing can undo them. The past is like an old picture, it changes not. Only the present has power for change, and that change is only a breath as the present continually feeds the past.

Events such as the assassinations of presidents Lincoln or Kennedy stare back at us like an old lithograph, and cannot be changed. The pages of history having been written cannot be rewritten.

The past can be analyzed and interpreted over and over, but the one true happening stands until the end of time.

Life is a chain of events. We exist because certain events did or did not happen. The past cements those sequences of events indefinitely. We may refer to them, reflect about them, reminisce about them all we wish, but we cannot change even one little thing. Our powers stop with this second, and cannot go back even an instant. The invisible gate locks and what has happened is secured forever. The past is sealed and we cannot interfere.

What has occurred is over with, and though it may have effects upon the future, the specific action which took place can never be repeated again identically. Things will not be, and cannot be the same today as they were yesterday. Something is always different. Today grows out of yesterday, and today is always new.

It is a rushing wave, this now, that sweeps us along unceasingly from birth to death. We are never really conscious of now until it is past, for by the time we have thought about it, now has become the past. We blink our eyes now, but by the time we have thought about it a few seconds have past, and that blinking of our eyes has become a part of history, and though a million years may pass the fact can never be altered that on a certain day at a certain time we blinked our eyes.

It does not matter whether events are witnessed or not, they still take their eternal place in the record book of time in the universe. There is not a leaf that falls to ground, not an ant that scurries underfoot, not a pebble tossed in a stream, and not a drop of rain that does not have everlasting significance.

I now have a christmas story that is blessed with a true friend who knows what it is to feel that friendship is a a sacred bond that has mutual respect and the love that is timeless.

Fron intregrity, from wisdom, from intuition -- the intuitive mind, the ARTISIAN thinks in pictures and feelings and spatial wholes, and it is the part of our intelligence that is the spiritual mind, or the genius mind. truth of a genius, can think thoughts never thought before, it can see things never seen before, because it's the part of our intelligence, when it is mature, that grasps the overview or sees the missing pieces. It's much like that analogy of a picture is worth a thousand words. Well, the thousand words are the linear mind, all the facts. But a picture tells you more than all the words in the universe can tell you. It tells you about relationship and position and shape and color and form and feeling and emotion and history, and many, many things in one glance of a picture. discover what it is, because they're caring. It's that deep, authentic, intimate opening of self to another person -- not needing to be guarded with defenses, letting your mind be open to people -- that lets you be a good sender. Being a good receiver is being open to receive what's actually going on, not what you think should be, not what will make you look good, not what will make you be right, but what is there. Because if we don't deal with what is there we can't move on. We can't heal it and move on. Freud said that we create an unconscious, a Freudian unconscious, because we don't even want to look at the contents of our own mind. We don't want to acknowledge our aggressive impulses, our sexual impulses, things that are not socially sanctioned. .

I learned that to be environmental aware of our interactions with each other, to become more responsible stewards of the emotional 'atmosphere' in which we live, and the emotional energies that pass through us. Patterns of thoughts form an 'environment,' and certain core beliefs [emotional toxins] can be even more important in producing harm – to ourselves and those around us."

The will sets in place our mindset, comprised of our ideas, feelings, selected memories, thoughts, prejudices, images/symbols, attidues, based on the information it receives from the mind. Values then mobilize our will and affect our mindset. Last it is our perceptions that determine our behaviors.
















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