word to yo motha

I woke up this morning with a respect for everything. The light, the heat, the day, the clouds, porn, masturbation, kleenex, and showers. But one thing I have no respect for are rent-a-cops. These mother fuckers would not leave us alone in the mall today while we were conducting a harmless survey on cologne.

Devin, myself, and our friend Kyle went to the mall today on a harmless mission to complete a psychology project. We had finished about 12 surveys when a goofy looking fuck with a mustache went on a power trip saying we need a pernit from the mall showing we had permission. We all played like we weren't going to do it again and said sorry like the nice Christian boys we are.

On are way into to American Eagle (a new base of operations) we were doubtful that they would let us do our survey. But they did bless their hearts. Not 10 minutes later Kyle and I leave to go see if Abercrombie and Fitch would let us do it in their store as well, leaving Devin behind to man the fort. As we walked out a female rent-a-cop walked into the store we had just left. As we panicked wondering if we should go back and tell Devin to get the hell out of there, DevDawg nonchalantly slid the survey clipboard into his bag. We were unaware of this and so we hustled our buns to Abercrombie and gave Dev a call telling him to get out of there.

We conducted the rest of our survey in Abercrombie amid the techno pop music and the layout optimal to our discretion. Devin kept guard outside in a massaging chair, and after we were done informed us that the fuzz had walked by numerous times on their walkie talkies and writing shit down on their little pads of paper.

In essence we were followed around for 2 and a half hours because we were giving out a survey 10 questions long to people about colgone. Even after the fact we told them it was for a school project. But on the bright side, we probably made these fake cops' day seeing as it was probably the most action they'd seen in years. If these bitches want respect they should start carrying a gun. Who the hell is going to listen to a douchebag with a can of mace on his belt?

Being a little rebel bastard,