Tugger watched Quaxo’s face, trying to read a tangled mix of emotions that were running over the smaller cat’s face. Those blue eyes, with their haunted appearance, simply looked at him for a moment, their owner unsure of what to do or say. "Tugger…" Quaxo stammered, vocally regressing into the introverted cat that Tugger was so familiar with. "Tugger, don’t say things like that. Don’t say things that aren’t right." He turned, breaking away from Tugger’s touch.

The choice of words didn’t escape Tugger, but he decided to ignore Quaxo’s implication. "Quaxo, I’ve known you since we were kits. I wouldn’t lie to you." The larger tom softly placed his hand back on Quaxo’s shoulder. He felt Quaxo stiffen under his hand, but smiled when it was not shrugged off. Encouraged, he gently turned the smaller tom back to face him again. He smiled softly when he saw that Quaxo was blushing. The bright white fur of Quaxo’s coat did little to hide the deep red blush. "Besides," he continued, "what’s not right about telling the truth?"

Outside the rain was still falling.

Quaxo stood quietly. His face was turned slightly to the right, not wanting to meet Tugger’s eyes. Under his calm façade, Quaxo’s heart was racing. He didn’t know how to react, what to do. He was close to Tugger. The warmth the other cat’s body gave off was so inviting. For once in his life, Quaxo found himself actually wishing that he was a queen. Then at least, he would have been able to accept the comfort that was standing in front of him. It would be so easy just to forget…

The pain.

The fear.

The frustration.

Quaxo finally gathered up enough courage to look Tugger in the eyes. When he did; however, his knees almost melted out from under him. Tugger’s eyes were deep brown, the color rich and warm. Quaxo had never really ever looked at Tugger in the eyes before. Truthfully, he had always spent most of his time trying to avoid direct confrontation with the older tom. But those eyes… Tender. That was the only word that Quaxo could describe them with. He swallowed, frantically trying to figure out what to do what to say. These feelings, these emotions, they couldn’t be right! Tugger was a queen’s tom. Bombalurina, Cassandra, the queen kits, where did they figure in now?

The rain had turned into a storm. A flash of lightning scorched the night sky, followed seconds later by the roar of the accompanying thunder. The petite tom jumped back from the entrance to the shelter, slamming square into Tugger, sending them both back onto the bed.

As Tugger lay there, getting his wind back, he felt Quaxo’s small frame shivering in fright. He propped himself up on his elbows to see Quaxo lying on top of him, curled into a ball, totally unaware that he was on Tugger. Despite Quaxo’s earlier skittishness, Tugger wrapped his arms around the smaller tom, drawing him closer. The contact with Tugger appeared to have a calming effect on Quaxo. His trembling eased, and his eyes opened. Tugger let one arm drop, giving Quaxo plenty of room to move if he wanted.

Quaxo didn’t move. He simply lay there. No point in pretending I don’t like it. He thought to himself. Tugger’s strong body felt so safe. It was the only thing that felt safe to him now. Everything else was strange and weird. Even Quaxo’s own body felt as if it had betrayed him in some way.

Tugger was somewhat surprised when Quaxo didn’t move, but he was glad. Tugger had been unsure what he was really feeling earlier when he had simply been watching Quaxo. This helped him start to figure it out. As he lay on his back, Quaxo still on top of him, Tugger gently let his free hand run from Quaxo’s head to just below the shoulders. The fur was sleek, soft, and very fine. Quaxo felt like he was still trembling. Tugger frowned. How could one clap of thunder scare a cat so badly? Then he realized what it was.

Quaxo was crying.

Quickly but gently rolling over, Quaxo found himself under Tugger and turned away. This time he was not so much bashful as he was ashamed. Quickly, Quaxo turned to hide the tears that were streaming down his face. These tears were different from the ones earlier. He had been frightened then, Tugger a source of friendship and comfort. Now, he was the cause of Quaxo’s confusion and shame.

"What’s wrong, Quaxo?" Tugger asked softly.

Quaxo was barely audible. "I’m sorry." He choked back a sob that threatened to overtake him.

Tugger lay back down next to Quaxo. "What do you have to be sorry for, Quaxo?" He asked softly. "You haven’t done anything."

"These thoughts… I… I can’t sort these thoughts out!" Quaxo cried. "They’re all flying around in my head, and none of them make any sense." He paused for a moment. "They’re frightening me, Tugger." He whispered.

"Talk to me, Quaxo." Tugger murmured. "You can tell me anything." He gave Quaxo a reassuring touch on the shoulder and got up off the bed. Quaxo sensed his leaving immediately and sat up, his eyes following the other cat. Tugger walked lazily over to the door to the den. He looked outside at the rain, which was still coming down in sheets. Calmly, he removed his collar and tossed it to one side of the bed. Quaxo’s eyes followed its path and watched as it landed with a dull thud. "Damn thing’s a pain to sleep in." Tugger said simply. Quaxo only nodded.

Tugger came back to the bed and sat down next to Quaxo. The smaller cat let his head roll back as he sighed. "Tugger?"

"Hmmmm?"

Quaxo sighed. "Earlier, did you mean that?"

"Did I mean what?"

"You know."

"Do I?"

Quaxo hissed. "Why do you have to make this so hard?"

"All right." Tugger smiled. "Of course I meant what I said."

"Can you tell me why you said it?"

"Because it’s the truth."

"Even so, Tugger… I’m a tom. You’re a tom." He bit his lip and hesitantly looked up at Tugger. "That’s not… I mean, isn’t that kind of weird?"

Tugger smiled kindly at Quaxo and placed a hand on Quaxo’s face. This time Quaxo didn’t move and he didn’t freeze. He just sat there, begging Tugger for answers that were having a hard time coming. "Maybe." He answered.

Quaxo looked down at himself. "Was it because of this?" He asked.

Tugger was quiet for a moment. Quaxo felt a strange sinking in his stomach. Why did he want Tugger to say that there was something more? Why did he for some reason hope that this strange transformation wasn’t the only reason for Tugger’s words?

Tugger shook his head. "No." His words came suddenly, and Quaxo felt a peculiar lightness in his chest. "No. It wasn’t this." Tugger let his hand lightly trace the muscles of Quaxo’s back. Quaxo inhaled sharply and a shiver ran down his spine. "This only made me sure that I had to say something." Tugger’s voice was a whisper as he moved closer to Quaxo. "I’ve seen you dance, Quaxo. That’s what did it. That’s when I knew there was something."

"M… my dancing?" Quaxo asked. His heart was racing.

"Hmmmm." Tugger purred. He moved behind Quaxo, gently massaging the muscles in the younger tom’s back. They were tense, but soon began to relax under Tugger’s gentle but strong hands. "I saw you under the full moon about four months ago. The dance was beautiful, just like the artist."

The feeling of Tugger behind Quaxo was strangely thrilling to the younger tom. Taking a deep breath, Quaxo twisted his body around finding himself face to face with Tugger. Only inches separated the two. Tugger looked easily down towards the younger tom, who was trying hard to keep eye contact.

"Scared?" Tugger asked gently. Quaxo only nodded. "There’s nothing to be scared of." He said as he ran his fingers through the thick black fur by Quaxo’s ears. "Toms, queens, the emotion’s the same."

Tugger gently drew Quaxo closer to him. Quaxo was thankful that Tugger had removed his collar. The spikes on it would have been more than a little awkward. Turning the smaller tom, Tugger soon had the younger tom straddling his lap. Quaxo felt like his heart was racing a mile a minute, and when Tugger kissed him for that first time, it felt like he would explode.

Quaxo’s first kiss was clumsy and hesitant. He was unsure of what he had to do. He had never kissed a queen before, much less a tom. But Tugger was tender and patient with him, silently guiding and teaching. When Tugger finally broke off the kiss, he studied Quaxo wordlessly.

Quaxo didn’t say a word. He ran his tongue over his lips slowly, savoring the lingering taste of the kiss.

"How was it?" Tugger finally asked, breaking the silence.

Quaxo looked up. This time he reached out a single black hand to touch the side of Tugger’s face. Tugger smiled and leaned into Quaxo, and the two were once again engaged in a warm, tender kiss.

This time, Tugger gently started to explore Quaxo in the small cat’s entirety. He rolled Quaxo onto his back and gazed once again into those blue eyes. This time; however, they were not haunted. They were focused, warm, and centered on Tugger.

Tugger gently kissed Quaxo on the neck and shoulders, causing Quaxo to shudder with excited pleasure. Smiling at the result, Tugger gently ran his hand along Quaxo’s body, gently sliding on the slick fur. A pleasured purr escaped Quaxo’s lips, and Tugger felt the eager thrashing of Quaxo’s tail as it wrapped and unwrapped itself around the larger tom’s leg. Meanwhile, Quaxo let his hands feel Tugger’s strong form, running his fingers through the soft mane and ruff. Quaxo pulled Tugger closer to him. The weight and scent of the older tom was comforting; it felt impossible to overindulge in it.

"Tugger…" Quaxo purred, feeling content for the first time in Heaviside knew how long. He couldn’t repress a short yawn. Tugger looked down at him, a gentle smile on his face. The larger tom shifted and lay down next to Quaxo, and pulled him close. Tugger would have liked to go a little longer, but if Quaxo was tired, he didn’t want to push. As Quaxo lay next to Tugger, he felt the Curious Cat’s fingers running gently along his back. Another purr came from Quaxo’s small frame, and then the little tom was fast asleep. Tugger smiled and decided that sleep sounded like a good idea. He rested his head just above Quaxo’s and soon he too was sleeping deeply.