Dionne swallowed to moisten her dry throat, and clutched her school bag closer to her chest before hoisting her blond head in the air and proceeding to walk forward down the tightly packed school corridor. Blurred faces all around her stared and whispered, hands pointed, teachers threw occasional glances her way. It was no secret as to what they were all murmuring about. Her heartbeat doubled and her breathing became more laboured as she tried to make her way down the familiar corridor to her form room.

"Oh god," Dionne thought silently to herself, seeing the never changing crowd of Year Eleven lads that surrounded the form room door. "Please let them be quiet."

Glancing up, her brown eyes darted quickly from face to face, for a split second they locked with a dark blue pair but then they drifted onward. A short brunette, leader of the pack along with a gorgeous blond, suddenly turned round instantly making a smirk spread across his mouth.

"Oh my god lads look! Dionne is back from the dead!"

Instantly loud chuckles and strong Irish appraisal from the gang showered over Shane.

"Drop dead Shane," Dionne muttered through clenched teeth, shaking her head slightly to move a stray strand of wavy blond hair that was blocking her view.

Shane's hazel eyes screwed up slightly in distaste. Folding his arms, he leant back against the white wall blocking Dionne's with a thoughtful expression on his face. Turning his dark head, his best friend Nicky Byrne along with three other followers named Bryan McFadden, Kian Egan and Mark Feehily all waited to see what he'd say.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, Dionne," he added with a drawl. "But wasn't that something you tried to do except for the fact your blond and didn't do it properly?"

"Oi Shane, enough of the insults to blonds," Kian shot back, his hand slipping into the back pocket of his jeans to pull out a hand mirror.

"Shut up Egan," he replied sharply, his mean hazel eyes penetrating into Dionne's brown ones.

Silence surrounded the six of them as they waited to see her reaction.

Letting out a deep breath, Dionne ignored the racing of her pulse and bravely looked up.

"Your right Shane," she said softly, gazing at him from under lowered lashes.

A small gasp escaped from the other students. Surprise flickered across Shane's eyes for a moment but was quickly replaced by the nasty glare he was widely known for.

"So why don't you do us all a favour and try again, but this time, make sure you get it right," he snarled, his eyes travelling down her body and back up again.

Dionne's back stiffened as four pairs of blue eyes all stared at her. Taking a timid step forward she fought the stinging sensation and she bit down on her bottom lip to fight the intense feeling.

"Leave it out Shane," a husky voice suddenly cut through.

Dionne's head instantly shot up to see the most popular lad of Year Eleven stepping forward between herself and Shane.

"Nicky get real man, she's so stupid she couldn't even kill herself right," Shane scoffed, turning to Bryan and Kian with a huge grin.

Nicky's dark blue eyes narrowed before he turned and concern etched across them.

"Just ignore him, his mam dropped him on his head and permanently did him damage so he makes up for what he's lacking by taking the mick outta others."

Shane's mouth shot open ready to reply but he quickly shut his mouth after seeing the threatening glance in his best friend's eyes.

"Lad's, move," Nicky ordered, stepping to the side to allow Dionne to walk through.

All of them shuffled to the side scuffing their trainer clad feet along the floor. Gazing up through lowered lashes, she opened her mouth to say thank you but found herself drowning in the ocean blue colour of his eyes. Her palms felt sweaty as a gentle smile slid across his mouth, his curtained hair moving slightly as he nodded for her to move. The other lads all began to talk among themselves once again as Dionne moved forward to the form room door. Just before she entered the classroom, she looked back to see Nicky watching her.

"Thank you," she mouthed quickly, her large brown eyes locking with his yet again.

He winked quickly in reply and motioned her onward yet again. Dionne took another deep breath as faces of other students all rested on her still profile. Putting one long leg in front of the other, she moved forward to the back of the classroom where she sat in her old lonely seat, trying to forget about the kindness Nicky had shown her only moments before.

Dionne ignored the questioning glance in her councillor's warm green eyes later on that early evening. She hated being here, having to talk to some random stranger who sat in a chair all day and was paid to listen to her supposedly pour her heart out and reveal her deepest dark secrets.

"So how was your first day back at school Dionne?" Her fluent Irish accent echoed around the office they were both seated in.

"Fine," she replied dully, her long fingernails tapping on the arm rest of the black leather sofa she was sitting on.

Marie McNare, her councillor, dropped her file onto the desk and stood up to sit beside Dionne.

"Just fine?" She continued to probe, settling comfortably back against the sofa as she let her almost cat like gaze rest on the young teenager's profile in front of her.

"Yep, just fine," Dionne replied sarcastically, looking at her watch again to see how much longer she'd got to put up with this patronising woman.

"What did everyone say then?"

Feeling her temper begin to flare, her brown eyes flashed brightly.

"What do you think they said? Oh look there's Dionne, the girl is so stupid she can't even kill herself properly, that's what everyone said."

She turned away and folded her arms stiffly across her chest, beginning to stare at the walls once again listening to the ticking of the clock perched high up on a shelf.

"Everyone said that? Surely not?" Marie asked, frowning in disapproval.

Dionne ignored the small voice inside her head reminding her of Nicky's actions. Why had he stuck up for her? He'd never bothered to before when Shane and the other's had previously been bullying her, what had changed she wondered?

"Dionne, Dionne," Marie called softly, seeing the vacant expression in Dionne's puppy dog brown eyes.

Shaking herself back down to reality, she saw that time was almost up. Standing up, she grabbed her denim jacket off the back of a chair and walked toward the door.

"Dionne," Marie called, making her stop in her action of opening the door.

Slowly she turned to face her, attitude written all over her pretty facial features, trying to cover up all the hurt she was really feeling.

"You can talk and trust me you know."

Dionne's finger's tightened their grasp on the door handle. She didn't even blink in response before opening the door and waltzing outward. Standing up and stretching, the slender red headed councillor yawned. Dionne was definitely a difficult one and she knew something had happened today at her school. She saw the almost dreamy look in her eyes and the almost threat of a small smile to light up her face when the teenager had become lost in thought. Dionne was going open up to her, she would make sure of it.

All around her, almost black clouds filled the dreary sky, the threat of thunder echoing in the distance. The only sound to be heard was the creak of the swing Dionne was seated on. Her hands were shoved firmly down in her pockets, her brown eyes fixed on the grass and her wavy hair blew in all directions. Today had been so hard for her, no body could understand what it was like. It was humiliating, having to face everybody knowing that they knew her secret. She didn't have any friend's really, and that was the one thing that puzzled her the most. She wasn't ugly, she'd had plenty of offers from various lads. Blond with blue eyes, a generous sized chest for her age, slender figure, fashionable dress sense. No body could understand why someone such as her would try to end their own life, but fail.

Her scuffed up trainers kicked a tuft of grass into the air as she hugged her jacket closer to her body. The fact she didn't have a mother might be part of the cause. Her dad hadn't wanted to know her when she had finally tracked him down and living with old fashioned grandparents who literally had a heart attack at the mere thought of watching television for more than half an hour, didn't really help matters. She wasn't a slag, she didn't sleep around, she hadn't actually slept with anyone. Half of her inside didn't even know why she thought she'd be better off dead. But this was what being depressed was all about. You don't have answers to every single question going through your mind. What if she tried to do it again? But making sure she finished the job. No, she wouldn't be able to go through that again. Her stomach lurched at the memory of all the blood, and the sharp agonising pain she had felt after she had dropped the knife. There was no way she would be able to put herself through that again, she'd have to find a different way.

"A penny for them."

Dionne's heart lurched as her blond head shot upward at the familiar Irish accent. She hadn’t heard his footsteps crunching on the grass.

"I didn't know anyone else used my swing," Nicky teased, the wind rushing through his shiny blond hair.

Panic travelled through Dionne as she stumbled upward in order to move away as quickly as possible.

"I'm, I'm sorry," she mumbled, avoiding his intent gaze and feeling a heat rise in her cheeks.

Moving forward she attempted to get away, her entire body froze as Nicky's hand gripped her arm gently, making her stop.

"Hey I was only teasing, sit back down."

Her heart was racing and she felt weak.

"No, no I'm sorry, there's the swing, it's yours, sorry, I'm sorry."

Nicky noticed the scared expression filling her chocolate eyes. Dark eyelashes blinked furiously and her lip seemingly quivered.

"My god," he said quietly, his hand still resting on her arm, his blue eyes still studying her. "This is what Shane and us have done to you?"

Tears filled Dionne's eyes as she met the gaze of one of the bullies that had tormented her for the last six months.

"Please Nicky, just let me go," she begged, pulling away slightly.

"No."

His husky reply was gentle but firm. "Your not going anywhere in the state your in."

His fingers seemed to be burning her skin through the rough material of her jacket. Whipping her hand up, she brushed her messy hair out of her face and gulped. What was he going to do to her?

"Come," Nicky motioned, pulling her toward the swing. "Sit down."

Dionne stepped forward, slightly embarrassed about the state she was in.

"But where are you going to sit?"

Nicky's face lit up in a cute grin that instantly made her heart melt. The wind continued to blow through the longish layers of his hair.

"How about I sit on the swing and you sit on me lap?" He said with a chuckle.

Dionne stared at him, looking at his eyes trying to judge whether or not he was being serious. He loosened his grip on her before collapsing onto the grass.

"Go on," he said, his voice sending a small shiver through Dionne's body.

Sitting down on the swing once again, her fingers wrapped around the cold thin metal chain. Nicky swallowed and tried to divert his gaze from her hypnotising brown eyes.

"What you been up to?"

"Nothing really," Dionne lied, feeling her heartbeat steadying.

Nicky's eyebrows rose slightly before he licked his lips, drawing Dionne's attention to his sexy mouth.

"Oh really?" He asked, with a quizzical tone to his accent.

"Yeah," she said softly, feeling her concentration slipping again.

"I could of sworn I just saw you come out of that counselling place over there," Nicky pointed out casually into the vast distance.

Horror swarmed though out Dionne as her brown eyes widened. Oh my god, she thought. If everyone at school found out she was seeing a shrink, that would be it. Shooting straight up her mobile phone went flying out of her jacket pocket, but she didn't care. Spinning around, Nicky watched her in utter shock as she shoved past the swing and made a run for it.

"What the?"

He didn't waste any more time sitting down thinking about it. Instead he dived up, picking up her phone on the way and began to sprint after her.

"Dionne," he yelled, his voice cracking slightly under the pressure.

"Keep running," she thought to herself, panting heavily as the first dusk's raindrops began to splatter out of the sky.

Her trainers slid against the blades of grass, their grip all worn away. She could still hear Nicky yelling her name, the rain began to blur her eyesight as she continued to run.

Nicky increased his pace, not realising that girls could actually run as fast as Dionne was, in front of him.

"Dionne," he shouted again, nearing her with every slap of his trainers on the ground.

Defeat flurried through her tired body as she realised Nicky was right behind her. Did she really think she was able to out run the school's star football player? Then again, she hadn't realised he was going to chase after her. A sudden pain shot through her chest as she ran out of breath suddenly coming to a skidding halt. Nicky saw her stop too late and couldn't help himself from crashing straight into her, sending them both toppling over onto the wet grass, rain still thrashing down all around them. Dionne yelped as Nicky's firm frame fell against her, keeping her pinned to the floor.

"Shit sorry," Nicky swore, short of breath as his chest heaved against Dionne's.

He could feel her breasts pushed up against his chest as he began to regain his breath. He licked his lips and let go of the phone as he moved his hand gently towards her damp hair. His lips were mere millimetres away from her own parted ones, her warm breath tickled his mouth.

"Your a good runner," he said with a small grin, tilting his head to the side as rain trickled down his face.

"So are you," Dionne replied, her gaze fixed directly with his own.

Nicky was growing hard, he knew she was able to feel it seeing as his waist was directly across her legs. He didn't see the point in hiding it.

"You forgot your phone," Nicky murmured, his fingers moving up to brush a strand of dark blond hair out of her eyes.

He noted the way she stiffened slightly as she watched his fingers move gently across her skin. Her eyes were so revealing, hurt and pain clouded them.

"I bet you look really pretty when you smile."

A small blush instantly lit in her cheeks making Nicky's pulse increase, along with his arousal. Suddenly her brown eyes turned blank on him again.

"I haven't got anything to smile about," she whispered, looking up at him with large eyes.

Nicky swallowed and dampened his lips with his tongue.

"Pardon?" He moved his face even closer to hers, his dark eyes locked with her brown ones.

She was finding it increasingly hard to concentrate when he was this close. She could feel his hot breath cascading all over her face, and his large erection was pressing down firmly against her leg. A tremor of desire travelled through her, her stomach quivered and her legs automatically widened slightly.

"I said," Dionne breathed, suddenly realising just how close his mouth actually was. "I haven't got anything to smile about.

"Sorry I really can't hear what your saying," Nicky replied, he lowered his head even more.

Their lips were almost touching. His heart was racing, since when had any girl had this effect on him? The reminder of just what an effect it was aching to be satisfied.

"I said," Dionne began again quietly.

Her eyes remained open for a split second as Nicky pressed his warm lips against her own to quieten her. The rate of her breathing spiralled as his lips moved against hers, his hot tongue probing them, seeking entry into the hot confines of her mouth. A small moan escaped the back of her throat, automatically opening her mouth which Nicky took full advantage of by slipping his hungry tongue deeply inside. Reaching up she wrapped her arms firmly around his neck and deepened the kiss, feeling his breath on her cheek as his strokes became hungrier, more wanting, more needing. Nicky's breathing became deeper and found himself having to fight the urge to do more than just kiss her mouth. Breaking away before he did something he would probably regret, he planted tender, light kisses all over her swollen kissed lips and smirked cheekily at her. Her face broke into a small smile.

"And I thought you didn't have anything to smile about?" He murmured with a grin, revealing his slightly crooked but extremely cute teeth.

She opened her mouth to reply but was silenced again by the feel of Nicky's tongue urging hers to respond. Letting out a sigh, having totally forgotten about the rain pouring down around them, she surrendered to his sweet feeling, and the taste of his sweet lips.

Before she knew it, Dionne was reaching the front steps leading up to the dreaded Summer Hill college the following morning. After their shared kisses in the rain yesterday, Nicky had insisted on walking her back home, but the long way. She knew he was trying to get her to open up to him, and to trust him. But the thought that it could all be a set up played on her mind. She knew what Shane's lot was like, not one student at the college in Year Eleven had escaped their nasty ways. Nicky though, well he'd always been the peacemaker of the group. He seemed different to the other lads, it was actually as if he didn't like to see the pain that his gang of thugs he associated with as friends, put people through. Then the other side of her was arguing that no body is that good an actor, that they could make her feel things such as she experienced yesterday. She was pretty sure he was being genuine with her, but she wasn't ready to go seeing him again any time soon.

As usual, she hadn't bothered with any make up, not seeing the point as she had no one to impress and she was naturally pretty anyway. Both of them had been soaked to the bone by the time they reached Dionne's grandparent's house, it felt strange for her to be with someone other than her self. Suddenly that all too familiar voice pierced through the air.

"Well, well, well if it isn't the living ghost," Shane laughed cruelly.

Her face instantly drained it's colour as he marched around the corner of the school corridor with his infamous crew. They surrounded her causing her to back up against the wall once again, just like they always used to. Shane's arm slammed against the wall, just missing her face as he leant his lean body weight on it.

"I was wondering, when we all heard that you had tried to kill yourself, well I was wondering just how you had tried to do it. Obviously you didn't use the smart way such as hanging yourself, otherwise it might actually have worked and then you wouldn't have to put us through the torture of having to see your ugly face every day."

Dionne began to feel sick as Shane's face neared hers. Bryan, Mark and Kian all stood back on watch, slight uncertainty flickering across all of their faces as Shane continued to taunt her.

"But then again, I realised that your blond, which mean's your dumb as well as ugly. What a sad little life you lead, no wonder your dad doesn't want to know you. I wouldn't wanna know you if you were my daughter," Shane continued, his hazel eyes glistening cruelly.

Dionne dropped her books as he took a step closer, his hand dropping from the wall to his side.

"You could have taken an overdose, and I thought you probably did, but because your blond and stupid you obviously didn't take enough tablets because you can't count. BUT," he crowed dramatically, before spinning around to face the lads.

Grabbing one of Dionne's wrists, she almost yelped in pain.

"I then realised that she has been wearing nothing but long baggy top's with sleeves, so I figured that she must have gone for the slit. Am I right Dionne?" He asked, turning back round to face her before roughly pushing the sleeve up her shaking arm.

He tutted loudly in disapproval at the thick white bandages protecting her damaged skin. His hand felt hot against her own, which was on it's way to becoming quite numb.

"Ah Di, your hand's are all cold," Shane murmured, running his thumb over her skin. "But then again I'm not surprised, I mean you must have lost LOADS of blood right? It must have gone every where, and the pain? "

He stood back and waited for an answer, loving the feeling of domination.

"I -," she stuttered, too petrified and dizzy to reply.

"Next time you try to end it, do it properly," Shane retorted, rolling his eyes and dropping her arm with a flick of his hand. "Come on lads."

Chest heaving, face flushed, hands sweaty, Dionne closed her eyes in relief watching his back fade away into the distance. As soon as he was out of sight, she turned and ran. Straight into Nicky’s arms.

Dionne moved a strand of loose hair out of her eyes, her brown eyes studying the grass as her and Nicky walked along the river bank.

"Did he touch you?" Nicky’s voice broke the silence.

Shooting her head up, eyes wide, she stared at him in shock.

"Wh- what?" She stuttered, her arms gripping her jacket tighter to her body.

"I said, did he touch you?"

Nicky’s blue eyes were flashing darkly, his lips pursed in a thin line, anger featured on his face.

"N, no," she replied quietly, instantly dropping her gaze.

Nicky felt a rush of guilt.

"Sorry, I’m well known for not being too tactful," he admitted with a sheepish grin.

Dionne smiled,

"It’s fine, honestly. No he didn’t, he was just bein’ well ya know."

They continued walking side by side.

"Have you got a counselling session today?"

Dionne’s gaze studied Nicky’s uncertainly. They came to a slow stop and Nicky fell to the group patting the space beside him.

"Maybe, why?"

His face broke into a grin, the wind rushing through his shiny blond hair. Loosening his striped school tie he laid back on the grass staring up at the summer sky.

"Well I was wondering if you wanted me to come with you?"

"What?" Cried Dionne, instantly jumping to her feet.

"Hey, hey calm down." Nicky said hurriedly, shooting up and reaching out for her arm.

He felt his breath catch in his throat. Swallowing to soothe his dry throat, he felt his heartbeat increasing. Large scared brown eyes stared sorrowfully at his hand on her arm, strands of blond hair rushed around her face. Nicky felt a stirring in his stomach watching her lick her lips. Pulling gently, he bought her slim body closer to his, lowering his mouth hungrily over hers yet again.

"Soo soft," he murmured, lacing his tongue with hers while his hand rested in the small of her back.

He heard her whimper gently, she widened her mouth wanting more. His other hand reached up and stroked the back of her neck, running his fingers through her long blond hair, he let it raise and fall on his hands. Ever so gently they continued kissing while the tears continued to trickle silently down Dionne's face.

Three days had passed since the incident with Shane in the school corridor. Three days had also passed since the second kiss her and Nicky had shared by the river. Dionne stared nervously at her reflection in the mirror. Tonight she was going round to Nicky’s to watch videos, so he had said anyway. Part of her still was uncertain whether this was real. The feelings that she experienced whenever they were together were beginning to confuse her. She loved his smile! It drove her crazy, it made her want to smile whenever he did, it was so infectious! The way he’d pout, and his eyes. So dark, sparkling. Just the image of him in her mind made her shiver. She didn’t where this was leading, if it would lead any where, but despite the circumstances, she really wasn’t sure if she was falling for him or not. She wasn’t going to get hurt again. Letting out a deep breath, she smoothed out the crease in a casual denim skirt. It was the first time in a long time that she had actually bothered with make up, or specifically style her hair. Hoping she didn’t look too dressed up, Dionne slipped her favourite denim jacket on and climbed out her bedroom window.

Glancing round nervously, Nicky repeatedly re positioned his pillows and huge beany bags all around his bedroom. The television and video was set up and he was dressed, ready to, well, watch video’s. His cheeky face broke into an unsure expression as he studied his reflection in the mirror, nervously glancing at his watch wondering how much longer she was going to be. Dressed in white track suit bottoms and a black t shirt, he wondered if he looked alright. Would she think he looked too casual? Nicky asked himself, reaching for his bottle of after shave and slapping some on his neck yet again.

"Fuck," Nicky howled as it stung his neck.

Racing to the bathroom he grabbed the nearest towel and attempted to soothe the pain. Suddenly the doorbell rang and he paused.

"Show time Byrne," he said to himself, before dropping the towel and racing down the stairs two at a time.

Checking his t-shirt collar was still standing up and smart, he opened the door with a huge a smile, which quickly faded.

"Alright Nicky, what you so dressed up for?" Shane asked quizzically, staring at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Sh, Shane?" Nicky gulped, not attempting to open the door any more.

"That’s me name, don’t wear it out!" He grinned, taking a step forward.

"What are you doing here mate?" Nicky asked, his eyes quickly scanning the background for any sight of Dionne.

"I was bored so I thought I’d come round and give ya another chance at trying to beat me on the computer? Why?" Shane asked, his hazel eyes narrowing as he folded his arms across his broad chest. "Is there a problem?"

"No, I, yeah, kinda, maybe?" Nicky stuttered helplessly,

"Make up your mind Byrne," Shane replied beginning to get irritated.

Noticing Nicky staring past him, Shane slowly turned round to see what he was looking at. Nothing but the garden met his enquiring stare.

"Nicky man, what the feck is up with you?"

"I’ve got company Shane," Nicky suddenly murmured, silently marvelling at his genius idea.

"Company? Whaddya mean?" Shane’s eyebrows creased together in confusion.

"Upstairs," Nicky said not so helpfully.

Shane’s dark eyebrow rose.

"I mean in my bedroom, a girl! Kinda bad timing mate?" Nicky said, raising an eyebrow back at Shane with a fake smile.

Slowly it dawned on Shane!

"A girl? You mean? Ah! Now I’m with ya man! Why didn’t you just say so in the first place! I’ll go round Kian’s instead, have fun mate!" Shane winked before turning on his heel and walking up the garden path.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Nicky leant his blond head against the door frame for a moment before closing the door and making his way back upstairs.

No more than two seconds later the doorbell rang again. Letting out a sigh of annoyance Nicky shot back downstairs and opened the door.

"Shane I thought I just told you?" He began, suddenly stopping.

"Sh, Shane’s here?" Dionne whispered, her face instantly draining in colour.

Nicky swore under his breath. Moving forward he left the front door swinging as he followed Dionne, who was slowly walking backward, blinking slowly, fear absorbing her body.

"Dionne, stop it." Nicky said, a bit too sharply than what he had intended.

He watched her breathing increase and the familiar swing of her head as she span her body ready to run.

"Dionne no," he half shouted, grabbing her arm and pulling her firmly against him. "You’re not running away from me again, I won’t let you."

Fists clenched, pounding feebly against Nicky’s chest he easily gripped her wrists in an attempt to stop her. Dionne’s mouth shot open and she cried out. Nicky’s dark blue eyes widened in shock. Bending over in half, Dionne held her sore wrists close to her, fighting the urge to collapse.

"Shit baby, I’m so sorry," Nicky said, suddenly realising why she had almost screamed out in pain.

"Nicky, away, stay away," she said through clenched teeth, feeling the grips in her hair loosening.

"No Dionne, we’ve done this to you. I’m gonna help you."

He knelt on the floor trying to get her to make eye contact with him. She remained bent over in half, the pain gradually subsiding.

"Come on babe," he whispered softly, placing his thumb under her chin.

Raising her head slightly, she bit down on her lip while he wiped her fallen tears away. His eyes burned into hers, blue connected to brown. Helping her up, he gently held her hand bringing her a step closer.

"Come on," he repeated, swallowing and turning to bring her inside.

An hour later, popcorn was scattered all over the carpet of his bedroom, empty can’s of coke were crushed and thrown into any available corner and half eaten bars of chocolate were strewn along the floor.

"Nicky pack it in!" Dionne giggled, flicking his hand away as he attempted to smear chocolate all over her face.

"Nope!" He replied with a cheeky grin, his blue eyes sparkling brightly.

He attempted to restrict her movement as the melted chocolate on his fingers threatened to drip all over her.

"I swear if any of that touches me I’ll make you lick it all off," Dionne laughed, leaning further and further away for him into the bean bag.

Nicky’s eyebrow rose.

"Oh yeah?" He murmured, a naughty glint in his eye.

"Is that a threat of a promise?" He moved closer to Dionne, waving his hands threateningly above her.

"I swear Nicky Byrne, if you do!"

Nicky couldn’t believe this was the same girl. Not only did she look totally gorgeous but she was almost a completely different character. Her cheeks were flushed, strands of fallen hair framed her face, those huge puppy dog eyes were sparkling and laughing at him brightly.

And she smelt absolutely divine, Nicky thought with a small smirk.

The video remained ignored, playing quietly in the background.

"What time are your parent’s back?" Dionne asked, keeping her eyes focused on the chocolate.

"Hours yet, why? Have you gotta be home by a certain time? Need a lift?"

Nicky shifted his weight onto his elbow as he lay on his side, staring at her. His free hand twirled a strand of hair absently around his finger.

"No, I just wondered. My grandparent’s don’t even know I’m out," Dionne replied, while her hand sneaked casually out to grab some popcorn curdles.

Nicky felt his tracksuit bottoms growing tighter as he watched her withering below him.

"Di," he said quietly, snuggling down further into the bean bag.

"Yeah?" She looked back at him, waiting for him to carry on, still partly focused on the chocolate.

"Did you really mean I’d have to lick the chocolate off you if I spilt any of it on you?"

He saw the flicker of surprise in her eyes and he moved closer to her. His blue eyes moved down to her mouth where he saw her tongue lick her lips before she replied.

"Why don’t you try it and find out for yourself?" She said, feeling her heart beginning to pound and nerves jump around her stomach.

She swallowed, watching his gorgeous face break into a big smile. His finger neared her lips and began to smear the chocolate all over them. Dionne almost shivered at his caress. Her hand squeezed the popcorn that had become sticky in her hand. His mouth was just inches from hers.

"Oh dear," Nicky whispered, his breath playing on her lips. "Look’s like I’m going to have to lick it all off."

Dionne stopped breathing as Nicky leant forward and closed the space between them. She let out a small sigh feeling his lips move gently across hers. Nicky felt her smile against his mouth and sneaked out his tongue, letting it trail along her full bottom lip. She tasted so good! Nicky moved his hand up to the curve of her cheek. He tried to control the urge to roll himself on top of her, not wanting to rush her and mess it all up. Dionne opened her mouth slightly more, letting his tongue seek out the entry he wanted. The taste of chocolate mixed with his own unique flavour filled her mouth and she let out a small moan, reaching out to wrap her arms firmly around his neck to draw him closer. Nicky felt the remains of chocolate still on his fingers, so he trailed them towards to her lips, letting them tickle the corner of her mouth as they continued to kiss and explore each other’s mouths. It didn’t take Dionne long to click on and she willingly opened her mouth, letting them slip inside. Nicky grew harder, and half gasped feeling her tongue wrapping around the tips of his fingers, sucking all the chocolate off. He moved his head away and opened his eyes, meeting Dionne’s stare as he continued to stroke her tongue.

"Di," he whispered, short of breath as he gently slid his fingers from her mouth, leaving her lips swollen and parted.

A shy smile formed on her face instantly making him grin.

"That mouth of yours is dangerous," he told her with a smirk.

"I could say the same to you," she replied, fidgeting to get more comfortable.

Nicky’s gaze was diverted as she bought her hand up to her face, her features screwing up in disgust at the stickiness the popcorn had made on her hand.

"Here let me," Nicky offered, with a huge grin.

Bringing her hand to his mouth, his tongue shot out and began to lick away all the popcorn flavour. Dionne felt tingling sensations shoot all over her body as she closed her eyes and unfolded her legs. Nicky opened an eye and studied her. Head thrown back against the bean bag, silky blond hair spread out just begging to have his fingers ran through it. She looked a vision. Nicky swallowed, and lowered his head once again. He trailed his fingers up her arm, annoyed that her jumper was barring any more entry. Their kiss deepened and his breathing increased, Dionne was responding just as deeply and he couldn’t help but roll on top of her. He placed an elbow either side of her head, letting his finger tangle in her hair as he got comfortable. Dionne shifted slightly, and Nicky’s eyes shot open, worried that he’d pushed it too far.

She smiled, he was so sweet. His blond hair was slightly ruffled and his chest was panting against hers. Automatically her legs widened as she reached toward him for another kiss. She heard Nicky let out a low moan from the back of his throat, and felt his hand begin to shyly explore her chest.

"Can I?" Nicky whispered, pulling gently at her jumper while planting gentle kisses all over her face.

Dionne nodded shyly and stretched her arms up as he tugged it off with a smile.

"Only if I can take yours off to though," she said with an unsure smile.

Nicky’s grin only widened.

Nervously she reached up and he helped her remove his t-shirt. Flinging it to the other side of the room, Nicky rubbed his hips carelessly against Dionne making them both moan. Nicky’s mouth quickly descended onto Dionne’s, his hand rubbing her breast through the material of her black bra. Her hand’s ran all over his chest, teasing and rubbing his nipples, letting her fingers get tangled in the small amount of chest hair.

"Nicky," she moaned, his lips massaging her, his tongue pushing its way into her mouth.

He silenced her with a kiss, his fingers trailing down the side of her body before sneaking around the back to undo her bra. Dionne’s long legs stretched and wrapped themselves around Nicky’s waist, pushing him down onto hips, his large erection resting on her stomach as his mouth planted kisses on the curve of her perfumed neck. Nicky knew that if they went any further he wasn’t going to be able to stop. He was so hard and she felt so hot.

"Di, babe, if we don’t stop, we, I, I won’t be able to," he said in between kisses on her lips.

Tenderly he moved a strand of straight blond hair out of her brown eyes. She stared directly up at him.

"I don’t want you to stop," she murmured, glancing away at the last second.

Nicky’s stomach flipped at the sound of her voice.

"Baby I’m not going too," he whispered before rolling back on his side and trailing his hand up her leg into her denim skirt.

He could feet the heat pouring from her already. Struggling to control his excitement, Dionne took control and directed his head to hers while she shrugged out of her skirt. A matching black thong met Nicky’s expectant gaze and he closed his eyes briefly, hoping he was going to be able to last.

"Dionne your gorgeous baby," he mumbled, his Irish accent breaking slightly as he moved his hand over her burning centre.

"Nicky," she moaned, withering against his hand as he began to rub her through the skimpy piece of material.

Pushing the offending piece off black material to one side, he slipped a finger in, letting it slide through her folds. She whimpered, he kissed her. Dionne’s hands gripped firmly onto his neck, stroking the nape of his hair, feeling the sweat beginning to form. Nicky’s mouth lowered to her chest as his hand’s pulled her thong down. He added another finger and built up a rhythm, gradually increasing as Dionne began to kiss him faster in frustration. His thumb rubbed over her clitoris sending waves of pleasure to shoot throughout her.

"Dionne," Nicky murmured, his tongue circling her nipple in the same pattern as his finger.

"Mmm?" She asked, her fingers running through his short hair.

"I think me boxers have reached their limit," he said looking up, his blue eyes flashing brightly, a cheeky grin etched on his wet mouth.

Dionne instantly blushed, and looked away.

"Hey babe, relax it’s ok! Hmm?" Nicky nuzzled his mouth against her stomach, flicking his tongue out and around her pierced belly button. "Ya like this?"

Dionne grinned, opening her eyes raising herself onto her elbows.

"I like a lot of things, but do you wanna know something?"

Nicky carried on playing with her piercing.

"This belly bar is really sexy," he murmured, letting his tongue trail further down.

Dionne struggled to concentrate as his skilled tongue glided over her skin.

"Nicky," she gasped, her fingers grabbing onto the nearest thing possible.

"Mmm?" He nuzzled his mouth against the crotch of her, letting his fingers slide down the curve of her body before gliding underneath to hold her closer to his face.

She swallowed nervously while closing her eyes, unsure of what to say or do. Nicky leant back slightly, admiring the sight before him. God he was as hard as rock. He could literally smell the heat pouring off her. Leaning forward he placed his hands gently on either side of her hips and proceeded to lick a very light trail from the inside of her thigh, gradually getting nearer to her hot centre. Dionne felt like she was on fire, every sense had kick started to attention, she could feel his hot breath all over her, teasing her.

"Nicky," she groaned, nudging her hips toward to direction of her face.

Glancing up his blue eyes sparkled playfully, a huge grin formed on his mouth.

"Don’t worry babe, I’m about to find out if you taste as good as you look."

Dionne’s brown eyes darkened at the hidden meaning of his words. Wasting no more time Nicky leant forward and trailed his tongue slowly all the way up her centre, before stopping right before reaching her clitoris. She gasped loudly and threw her head back, feeling his hand reach up to tenderly stroke her stomach, fiddling with her belly bar. His tongue teased and nibbled endlessly, she could feel each breath becoming shorter then the last as his movements increased. Nicky moaned himself, tasting her in his mouth, on his tongue, all over his swollen lips. His erection was beginning to throb painfully against the protective shield of his boxer shorts. Moving back up her body, Nicky kissed her hungrily on her mouth, feeling her arms fly round his neck pulling him further down on top of her.

Small pants escaped his mouth as she rolled them both over, they were still kissing as Dionne’s hand’s slid around his smooth back before cupping his bum and pulling him up tight, fast and hard against herself. Nicky swore under his breath as their tongues continued to touch and tease each other. He felt a cold draft surround his hard bulge as she threw the boxers carelessly somewhere in the room. Feeling her slow down their kiss, he sensed her nervousness. Opening his dark eyes, he stared down at her breathlessly.

"Don’t do anything you don’t wanna," he whispered, leaning forward and planting a soft kiss on the end of her nose.

Her hands began to wander over his naked body.

"You," she murmured, staring intently at his face.

"Feel," she continued, letting her hand glide down his waist.

"So," Nicky’s mouth brushed over hers as she continued to speak.

"Hard."

Her hand gripped his hot erection gently. Nicky shivered against her touch, feeling his stomach begin to somersault as she circled her fingers around it once again. Sweat formed on his forehead as he leant forward and kissed her hard. Her grip on him never wavered as he pressed himself harder into her hand, begging her to move. Ever so slowly her hand slid from base to tip, his loud moan filling the bedroom. Feeling the pre cum spilling out of him, she rubbed her thumb across his sensitive tip, letting her hand become soaked in his excitement.

"Faster Di," Nicky panted, his eyes screwed tightly shut as he panted.

She did as he instructed, in sheer awe of how her actions were affecting him. Without any warning his hand flew to her head and pulled her face roughly against his, his mouth literally devouring her beneath him. Still her hand busily shot up and down in fast, firm movements.

"Shit Di, I’m gonna-."

Nicky realised how much longer he wasn’t going to last. Pulling his hips out the way of her wet hand, Dionne’s face frowned. She bit her lip and lowered her chocolate eyes, worried she had done something wrong. Nicky slid his thumb under her chin, blowing sweetly on her mouth before giving her a tender kiss.

" Dionne, believe me when I say if I hadn't stopped you there, I wouldn't have been able to stop myself!"

She smiled sweetly at him, brushing his damp blond hair out of his face. Nicky studied her inquiring gaze.

"Are you sure?" He asked again, beginning to massage his lips against hers.

Dionne nodded, smiling nervously as she watched him stand up and walk over to the cabinet beside his bed. While he fiddled around with the condom, Dionne rolled over on to her back and took a deep breath, preparing herself for what was about to happen. Closing her eyes, her hands moved her hair out of her face when she felt Nicky’s presence above her.

"We don’t have to if your not ready," Nicky said, sinking down to his knee’s admiring his brown eyed blond below him.

Dionne stared up at him with wide eyes, drinking in every small detail. She loved that little mole on the side of his face. It was just cute! Waves of uncertainty travelled through her mind and she knew that really she shouldn’t consent to what they were about to do in less she was one hundred percent it was with the right person, but then still though. She blinked slowly, and felt her body filling with warmth at the tender smile on his face.

"I’m ready," she replied, attempting to push all doubt to the back of her mind.

Nicky grinned and laid down on top of her, pecking her lips gently, softly, almost lovingly. His erection pressed against her flat stomach, Dionne could feel the tension rising again as his hand brushed against her hip, making her skin goose bump. She widened her mouth, encouraging his tongue to start caressing hers. Within seconds he was grinding down on her, making Dionne lose control of her own legs as they seemed to automatically widen by their selves. Nicky positioned himself above her, his body weight spread evenly between both arms. Staring down into her eyes, he urged Dionne to reach out and direct him in to her. He gasped in pleasure at the touch of her hot little hand on him again. Nudging her entrance, he opened his eyes once again and leaned forward kissing her mouth softly, while beginning to push himself up inside.

"Di, just relax babe," Nicky panted, feeling her tight grip all over him.

She was so tight, so hot, so good.

Dionne closed her eyes and gripped his sweating shoulders, her nails digging into his flesh as he continued to urge his way deep inside of her. A small yelp of pain escaped her mouth as she felt almost like a small tare. Nicky’s blue eyes flew open in shock, before he suddenly realised.

"Sorry baby, sorry sorry sorry," he mumbled into her hair, planting random kisses all over her face as he finally settled inside of her.

He let out a small sigh at the feel of this gorgeous girl surrounding him beneath. Dionne licked her lips and stretched upward to catch his mouth with hers. His tongue instantly slid against hers and he moved his hips slightly, making her jump. Straight away a feeling began to emerge in the base of her stomach. Dionne’s hands slid down his back and cupped him closer to her, pulling him further into her and harder against her. She felt his breath escaping in short gasps against her neck as he buried his face in her blond hair, his hips gradually moving in speed against hers.

"Nicky," she whispered, her breasts slapping against his chest as the pace upped itself again.

He silenced her with a kiss, then felt her legs wrap themselves around his moving waist. They both moaned out loud in unison at the deeper feel of penetration.

Dionne’s hand reached down between them and held his tightening balls in her hand.

"Jesus Christ Di," Nicky spluttered, his chest heavily rising and falling as each thrust increased.

She fondled him slowly, enjoying the feeling of fulfilment he was giving her. She could feel her own orgasm approaching and their movements became faster, her hand movements slowed. Nicky instantly used this to his advantage, slipping his hand down between both their hot sweaty bodies, and massaging her swollen clitoris. Each breath became shorter than the last, neither of them lasting very long as they continued to thrust hard against each other. Nicky came deep inside of Dionne crying out her name on his lips. Her eyes were filled with unshed tears she couldn't take it any more and felt almost an explosion from far inside of her. He collapsed on top of her, gently kissing her shoulder. The room became quiet once again except for the murmur from the television as they both began to regain their breath while snuggling up after having recovered.

After getting dressed Dionne and Nicky went downstairs and grabbed a pizza. They cuddled up closely on his couch, occasionally laughing at the comical parts in the television series Friends. There was a silence between them, but a comfortable silence. Nicky looked across at Dionne who was deeply engrossed in the programme. He watched how intent her eyes watched the slightest movement on the television, the way a strand of blond hair fell across her face, shielding her eyes. He felt a stirring in his crotch as she unconsciously licked her lips, the taste of pizza still lingering.

"You at school tomorrow Di?" He asked, moving slightly so he was facing her properly.

She cast a vivid brown glance his way.

"Why?" She asked, her lips pursing as she switched the television off by the remote and felt her entire body stiffen at the mention of her feared territory.

"Dunno, just askin’ that’s all," Nicky said, placing his warm hand on her knee.

"Oh my god," Dionne said, her heart beat doubling as the feeling of queasiness began to work it’s way up from her stomach. "Your gonna tell the lad’s what happened aren’t you. It’s all a set up, I knew it."

Her words were coming thick and fast, she was almost panting as she struggled to breathe, a feeling of horror overtaking her mind as she dived up off the seat.

"Dionne no," Nicky yelped, jumping up and reaching out to grab her.

"Get off me," she screamed, pulling away from him as hard as possible.

"Dionne calm down baby, your wrong, I’m not going to at all. It isn’t a set up Di, Dionne," Nicky panicked, his dark blue eyes widening in shock.

He saw her fighting to take his baby blue hoodie off that he had leant her.

"Di baby stop it," he begged, stepping forward and trying to stop her panicked movement.

Her arms flew out and she backed away, tears overflowing onto her smudged eyelashes. Fear was flashing across her eyes, an almost wild look overtook them. Her long blond hair that Nicky had wasted minutes playing with earlier, soared all around her as she tore the jumper off and threw it at the floor, spinning around to find the front door. Nicky let out a sigh and picked his favourite top up off the floor.

"I’m telling the truth Dionne," he said sadly, not lifting his gaze.

Dionne turned slightly and looked at him. Her breathing calmed a little, her body continued to tremble and she fought fiercely for control, knowing it was this was getting out of hand.

"Babe, I’m telling the truth," Nicky pleased, glancing up at her, his hands knotted tightly in the jumper.

He swallowed nervously, unsure of what to do or say. Dionne remained silent, she just stood and stared at him with wide frightened eyes. Slowly she began to shake her head from side to side.

"No," she said, walking away from him. "Your still lying. I won’t fall for it, no, I’m not STUPID like SHANE SAYS I AM." She yelled, her whole body flipping at the mere mention of his name on her lips.

"FUCKIN’ HELL DIONNE STOP IT. STOP THINKING LIKE THIS. YOUR FUCKIN’ CRAZY," Nicky yelled, his voice reaching a higher octave and cracking slightly. "Oh my god Dionne I’m so sorry," he panted, his hand’s empty and out stretched as he walked toward her. "I swear I didn’t mean it, I just lost my temper Di, please Dionne, I’m sorry."

Finally the tears spilled over her long black lashes and trickled slowly down her cheeks. She turned and ran bare foot out into the street. Nicky turned and kicked the couch angrily as he heard the front door slam deafeningly loud. Almost choking back a sob he collapsed and held his blond head in his hands. Dionne tore through the streets in the darkness, her feet slapping harshly against the freezing pavement, thoughts spinning crazily as the tears fell more heavily.

I close my eyes and make a wish for
Inner peace and tranquillity inside
My mind I feel it's changing
Breaking down the defences of my heart
It's like a new adventure
And this is my life
No longer know the girl inside
The stranger in my mind

She finally collapsed ten minutes later in the park. Her hands gripped the frail chains of the swing. The swing where she had ran away from Nicky before.

Nicky shivered and tugged the hood of his blue hoodie up and over his blond head. The wind was picking up and clouds covered the moon. It wasn’t even late but that was Irish winter weather. He shivered and quickened his step in his chosen direction. After Dionne had fled from him he had wasted a good twenty minutes trying to figure out how this was all going to work.

In his hand he held her shoes, they banged against his leg as he hurried his footsteps. He saw it as the perfect excuse to go after her, the only problem was where the hell would she go considering the state she was in. Thinking back to times they had spent together over the previous days suddenly made it all fall in to place and he realised. The park came to focus and Nicky broke into a gentle jog as he neared the gate to the park.

"Dionne," he called, hearing his husky voice get carried in the wind.

Pushing open the gate he shouted her name again and walked toward the swing. His heart almost broke as he saw the sight in front of him. The only sound that greeted him was the creak of the swing’s chains and the howling wind. She wasn’t there.

Dionne wasn’t at school the following day and Nicky couldn’t help but be filled with constant worry. He had her shoes in his school bag, hoping to find a few minutes where he could get her on her own and talk. No such luck.

"What’s up with you mate? Couldn’t get it up last night eh?" Shane laughed, thumping Nicky on his back.

"Fuck off Filan," Nicky said through gritted teeth, feeling his fists clench in anger at the feelings Shane was provoking in him.

"Oooohhhh touchy! I was only messin’ with ya mate, haha," Shane grinned and looked at Nicky, not noticing the sad expression in his supposed best friend’s eyes.

"Well your not funny Shane."

Nicky suddenly looked up, feeling his Irish temper beginning to boil. "In fact, did you know that no body here finds you in the least bit amusing?"

Shane’s hazel eyes darkened at Nicky’s outburst.

"Kian, Bry, Mark."

Shane clicked his fingers and they immediately stood next to him.

"Look’s like we’ve got a rebel in the group," he said, his voice dangerously low as he folded his strong arms across his chest.

"Fuck ye Shane. Fuck the lot of ya," Nicky spat, shrugging his bag onto his shoulders and looking away in disgust.

"I’d say that slag Dionne has been poisoning his mind," Kian said, his bright blue eyes burning straight into Nicky’s.

"Stay out of this Kian," Nicky warned, not letting his stare fall.

Kian took a step forward, his clenched fist raising slowly. Bryan and Mark remained silent as they watched the scene unfolding in front of their blue eyes. Shane stuck his arm out and it met Kian’s chest.

"Do as he says Kian," Shane said, his eyes darkening with fury.

"But didn’t ya hear what da deutz just said?" Kian spluttered, not quite sure what to do.

"I have got ears ya know Kian."

Kian muttered a string of Irish swear words under his breath as he turned around and stared at out at the fields.

"Watch your mouth Egan," Shane warned, letting his gaze flicked toward the strong blond.

"Go fuck yourself Shane," Kian replied, spinning back around, his blue eyes flashing furiously anger getting the better of him.

"Oh so now you’re on Nicky’s side are ya?" Shane asked, his voice raising as he looked at Kian questioningly.

"Grow up Shane."

The hairs on the back of Shane’s neck began to rise as he hunched his shoulders before standing up straight again.

"Excuse me?"

His voice was dangerously low. The short brunette turned slowly around.

"And just where the fuck do you get off telling me what to do?"

Bryan saw Mark gulp nervously as Shane took a step forward, rubbing his knuckles.

"You heard," Mark said, his voice slightly giving way as he took a small step back.

Nicky slipped away as discreetly as possible, feeling a tiny bit sorry for Mark who had Shane’s fist flying straight at his face.

Dionne rocked backward and forward on her bed, her arms wrapped tightly around her knees as her blond hair fell messily around her face. She had ended up walking for miles, getting lost, getting lost in her thoughts before ending back outside Nicky’s house looking up at his window. When the light in his bedroom had finally gone out she had turned and began a slow walk back to her grandparents house. Her bare feet were swollen, sore and cut. They were throbbing with pain mercilessly but she didn’t notice it as she went straight inside up to her bedroom. Her sanctuary as she earlier remembered calling it.

She was still one hundred percent sure that it was a set up. The fact Nicky had avoided her eyes when she had asked him why he wanted to know. The tears fell again as she sobbed into her knees, finally falling sideways onto the pillow letting it become soaked. What the hell was wrong with her? She had spent the most amazing time with Nicky. Her pulse sped at the slight mention of his lovely name. The whole time she was with him yesterday, apart from the usual nerves, she had felt like her old self before all the bullying and suicide thoughts began. He made her feel sexy, special, somebody. Somebody worthwhile despite what his best friend always reminded her of daily. Nicky didn’t deserve to be with such a fucked up girl like her. He was so beautiful, he could do much better than her and he knew it. Although she would never forget how unbelievable he had looked yesterday when he had came deep inside her, whispering her name on his swollen lips.

"Oh god," Dionne whispered, feeling her stomach tightening at the remembrance how he felt buried inside of her.

A dull throbbing began between her legs. She couldn’t go on like this. She knew she would never be able to trust Nicky fully. What sort of relationship would they have if she would never be able to relax and not wonder if he was serious with his feelings about her? Feeling herself slipping into the familiar feelings of depression, she realised she wasn’t going to be able to go on about it. She needed to do something about it, and do something quick.

Nicky waited patiently for somebody to answer the phone. There was no answer and now he couldn’t wedge the feeling of uncertainty that was fixed deep inside of him. He knew it was literally impossible to say that he loved Dionne. It was much too soon and they barely even knew each other. But yesterday when they were together, he had lost all of his own worries about life. A small smile from her just filled him with happiness, he felt happy knowing he made her feel happy. There wasn’t anything he would change about her for the world, apart from the past. Never in his life would he have let Shane treat her the way he did. Nicky slammed the door on his way out as he scolded himself for the tenth time in the last few minutes for letting it get as far as it did. The fact he had let his temper get the better of him pissed him off even more. He should have known better, especially when it came to Dionne. His little girl, he thought with a small smile.

He was outside Dionne’s front door before he knew it. However he didn’t stop there, he knew there would be no answer. Instead he opened the undid the latch to the garden’s back door and let himself round the back of the house. Looking up at what he believed was Dionne’s window, he saw the curtains firmly shut just as he thought they would be. Clutching his bag with her shoes in, closer to his body, he walked toward the drainpipe, determined to speak to Dionne even if it killed him.

He saw her lying in a crumpled heap on the bed with no lights on what so ever and no window’s open. Gasping, he dropped his bag and raced over to her, tenderly brushed her sweat stained hair out of her face. Leaning forward he placed the softest kiss on her mouth, brushing her hot skin with the tips of his fingers. Feeling the bed move he waited with bated breath, waiting for her to wake up and reveal those deer like brown eyes of hers.

"Come on baby," he whispered gently, picking up her hand and holding it with his.

Slowly an eyelid flicked up.

"N, Nicky?" She croaked, opening the other eye as she struggled to see in the dark.

"Di, thank god, Dionne," Nicky said in a rush of breath, pulling her body up against his.

He circled his arms around her, feeling her shaky hands grip onto his coat. She shivered at the rush of cold air surrounding Nicky.

"Lie back down babes."

She did as Nicky asked, feeling her head spin.

"I’m gonna put the light on ok Di?"

Swallowing to soothe his dry throat, he squinted in the darkness struggling to find the light switch. Soon his fingers pressed down on cold plastic and he pressed firmly, the movement reminding him of yesterday when he had pressed firmly down on Dionne. Light flooded the bedroom and he turned to see Dionne burying her head under the pillow after letting out a small groan. His blue eyes flitted around her bedroom quickly, landing on a half opened bottle. Dread filled his body as he raced across the bedroom to the small table. Picking the bottle up his fear was confirmed.

"How many Dionne?" Nicky asked, his heart thrashing against his chest as his white fingers gripped the bottle.

She didn’t reply. He moved over to the bed and pulled the pillow off her. She grimaced and pushed her head down into the duvet.

"Dionne I said how MANY."

His voice broke as he half shouted at her in fear. Trying to sit up, Dionne felt the room spinning and instantly fell down. Diving onto the bed Nicky scraped her loose body into his arms, pressing a caring kiss on her lips.

"Only three Nicky, I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t do it again," Dionne’s attempt at speaking turning into sobs. "It hurt, I’m hurting, Nicky."

Her breathing became shorter as her dark eyes closed and she felt herself giving into the sleepiness taking over her worn out body.

"I’m calling an ambulance," Nicky cried, placing her back down and falling off the bed.

"No, Nicky," Dionne yelped. "Just, I’m tired, just hold me. Please."

She turned her head slightly and struggled to look at him.

"Please." she whispered.

He bit down on his lip unsure what to do. Seeing her eyes close, Nicky moved over to the bed and surrounded her with his arms. He held her, just like she asked. Until she drifted off.

Dionne woke up still wrapped firmly in Nicky’s arm. He hadn’t moved all night and neither had she. A gentle smile formed on her mouth as she saw the fallen strands of blond hair across Nicky’s face. Lightly she moved them away and attempted to stretch her cramped body. Warmth surrounded her and the sound of Nicky’s breathing was the only thing that filled the room. Last night she had terrified Nicky and she realised that. She had terrified herself when she had swallowed the first pill. An image of his smirking face came to mind and she couldn’t bring herself to do it after the third pill and so fell into a deep slumber. She felt emotionally drained, exhausted, weak.

Looking down, Dionne waited for Nicky to wake up feeling him stir next to her. His hands gripped her waist and pulled her down from her sitting position. Sleepily he mumbled a good morning before fully opening his eyes and staring into hers. Licking his lips, he pressed them against her hand before turning and lying on his back looking straight up at the bare ceiling. The quilt moved slightly letting a cold draft invade.

"You scared me last night Dionne. Really scared me."

Her heartbeat drummed loudly in her ears.

"I know," she replied quietly.

"I thought you’d killed yourself."

Nicky’s voice was calm and level.

"I know."

"I was absolutely petrified, I didn’t have a clue what to do Di. And the way ye just ran off from me like that, freakin’ out on me."

Silently she cringed at the sting his words bought her.

"I know."

She sighed softly changing into the same position as Nicky. His searching hand finally located hers and he squeezed it comfortingly.

"Never ever to do that to me again," he said quietly. "Never."

"I won’t, I promise," Dionne said, closing her eyes at the same time.

"Mark and Kian turned against Shane yesterday at school," Nicky continued.

He felt her instantly freeze at the mention of his name. Nicky swallowed and rubbed his thumb against her warm skin.

"I’m scared to leave you on your own, how do I know you won’t try something again?" He asked, rolling onto his side and resting his head in his elbow.

"You have to trust me Nicky," Dionne replied, feeling his intent stare.

"You don’t trust me though, why should I trust you."

Silence filled the air as he waited for her answer. She didn’t give him one.

"Di look at me babe," he said tenderly, the Irish accent making her skin tingle.

Reaching out, his hand tilted her chin toward him and he leaned forward brushing his lips over hers. The kiss deepened and he waited for her to widen her lips. Feeling them finally respond to his, he widened his mouth letting his tongue slide in against hers. Gentle, slow strokes were exchanged as her hands fought their way from beneath the quilt to fix themselves firmly around his neck. Nicky stretched his body, feeling Dionne press hers against it. Their mouths widened even more as the kiss deepened and became more hungry. His hands ran through her tangled hair, until the nestled at the back of her neck where he stroked the soft dowry skin.

"I better go, me mam will flip," Nicky said sheepishly, breaking away with a small smile.

Dionne didn’t miss the dull look his blue eyes had. She suddenly noticed the bags under his eyes.

"Didn’t you sleep well?" She asked, guilt over riding her body realising it was probably because of her.

"Nah not really but don’t worry because soon I’ll hibernate and won’t wake up for a long time!"

Nicky grinned at her, his face lighting up slightly. Dionne smiled back and fiddled with his earring.

"Will I see you again soon Nix?"

Watching him slip out of bed and go to the window, he turned and curved the corner of his mouth. The sunlight poured in through the curtains, casting him in an almost golden glow making him look like a blond haired blue eyed descendant of god. Her god, Dionne smiled.

"Soon baby, I promise."

With one more tender look, he turned and slipped away, leaving behind his bag and the girl he was falling for.

Only one week had passed since then. Dionne sat on the swing in the park. Her and Nicky’s park. It was around the same time he had caught her here as well. With trembling hand’s, she tried to control the shaking. Yesterday she had been to her councillor but it didn’t help things at all, only seemed to make them better. She hadn’t been to school either. She couldn’t face it, maybe she would never go back. Dionne lifted her face and closed her brown eyes at the feel of the wind rushing through her long blond hair.

**********

"A penny for them."

Dionne's heart lurched as her blond head shot upward at the familiar Irish accent. She hadn’t heard his footsteps crunching on the grass.

"I didn't know anyone else used my swing," Nicky teased, the wind rushing through his shiny blond hair.

Panic travelled through Dionne as she stumbled upward in order to move away as quickly as possible.

"I'm, I'm sorry," she mumbled, avoiding his intent gaze and feeling a heat rise in her cheeks.

Moving forward she attempted to get away, her entire body froze as Nicky's hand gripped her arm gently, making her stop.

"Hey I was only teasing, sit back down."

Her heart was racing and she felt weak.

"No, no I'm sorry, there's the swing, it's yours, sorry, I'm sorry."

Nicky noticed the scared expression filling her chocolate eyes. Dark eyelashes blinked furiously and her lip seemingly quivered.

"My god," he said quietly, his hand still resting on her arm, his blue eyes still studying her. "This is what Shane and us have done to you?"

Tears filled Dionne's eyes as she met the gaze of one of the bullies that had tormented her for the last six months.

"Please Nicky, just let me go," she begged, pulling away slightly.

"No."

His husky reply was gentle but firm. "Your not going anywhere in the state your in."

**********

The flashback bought back the memory of their first meeting. Even then she had realised that she wasn’t getting any better. God how she missed not seeing him. Night after night she had sat at this swing, at the same time every day, waiting to hear something from him. But nothing ever happened. Nothing ever would now. Dionne realised she had been right all along. It was nothing but a set up. She had been stupid to fall for him so quickly. She still couldn’t erase the image of the last time she had seen Nicky. His hand outstretched reaching for the window that morning after the night he had came to find her. He had looked like a vision of an angel. So beautiful.

Dionne stiffened when she heard footsteps crunching along the grass. Her body froze, her breathing stopped and she didn’t dare look up. It couldn’t be true. Ever so slowly under lowered lashes she let her gaze travel upward. Well worn football trainers first met her eyes. Dark jeans led upward, a blue hoodie then was revealed to her. Further up she looked, actually lifting her head. Hands were tucked firmly into its pockets not giving anything away. He stood still in front of her, not moving, not making any sounds at all, not attempting to either. Urging herself to look up, she finally met the hazel gaze studying her. She didn’t even flinch. Shane cleared his throat nervously and kicked a tuft of grass.

"I’m sorry Dionne," he said quietly, so quietly she wasn’t sure if she had heard correctly.

Licking her lips, she stood up eye level with him.

"I’m sorry for everything," Shane said, still not looking her in her eyes.

"Ok."

It was all she could muster up at this point in time. Shane’s face shot up, a startled expression all over him.

"Ok? Is that all your gonna say? Don’t you wanna punch me or something?"

She blinked slowly, staring at him.

"No," she replied, turning her gaze away and into the vast horizon.

"Dionne I really am sorry," he said, taking a step toward her.

He saw her entire body freeze as he neared her. Biting down on his lip he decided not to go any further. He saw a crumpled letter in her cold hands.

"That from Nix?" He asked, nodding his spiky head down at her hands.

Dionne felt her heart slam against her chest.

"What do you care?" She said, the wind sending her hair furiously behind her.

"I’m sorry Dionne. I truly am sorry. He was my best friend too ya know. He was the only one who really understood me. I can’t believe he did it."

Dionne watched with no sympathy as Shane collapsed onto the grass holding his head in his hands.

"Why’d he do it Dionne? Why the HELL did he do it?"

She still didn’t move while she watched his eyes fill with tears. A choked sob escaped his mouth as he struggled to keep control of himself.

"He really did like you ya know. All the time, he would always be getting onto me for how I was with ya," Shane tried to explain, wiping his face on the arm of his sleeve.

"It’s your fault," Dionne said calmly, looking down at Shane.

With expression of an animal caught in headlights, Shane’s head shot up. He parted his lips as if to say something, but quickly closed them as he saw Dionne soothing out the creased letter. Trying to fight the tears falling from her eyes, Dionne continued to stand above Shane, her entire body trembling, she was freezing. She felt so cold despite all the warm clothes she had on. She didn’t feel anything any more. She opened her mouth and cold breath showed in the light.

"Dionne,

I’m so sorry baby. I really am. I don’t even know what to say, where to start, how to justify what I’ve done to you and my family."

After the first sentence her voice began to crack but still she continued.

"When Shane first started bullying you, I’d watch to see your reaction. You instantly fascinated me, and as time went on I gradually started hating myself for what we were all doing to you. I’d tell Shane time and time again to stop it, but he never would. When I heard about the suicide attempt, I felt disgusted. Utterly disgusted with myself. I don’t know why we all had it in for you, maybe its cos we all fancied ya really but didn’t think we stood a chance. But that all changed for us didn’t it. Except I knew you would never be able to trust me, I couldn’t trust myself. You didn’t see the scar on my elbow, or on my knee. Accident’s, I always told everybody who questioned where I got them from. I didn’t dare admit the truth, a boy getting physically abused, how would it look? Who would believe me? You see babe you weren’t the only silent sufferer, He did it to me too but at school it would look fine. No body had any idea, I wasn’t brave enough to admit it."

Dionne paused as she heard Shane’s voice crack and a small beg to stop filled the air. Tears trickled down her face.

"I can’t admit it, I don’t think I ever will be able too. But I wanna tell you something. Being with you helped me so much, it saved me as much as it saved you. I wish so much baby that I didn’t have to do this, but it’s the only way I can escape. Escape from him. Two years of torture, pain and upset, but you know all about that because he did it to you too didn’t he? I’m missing you Di. But I’m watching ya. I’ll never forget how beautiful you looked when we spent that afternoon together. It’s something I’ll permanently treasure.

People say you can’t have a soul mate in a lover. I disagree, I found you and you saved me and helped me to continue on that bit longer. You’re the strong one out of the two of us, you always were, you just weren’t aware of it because you didn’t suffer in silence. Baby this is the hardest thing I’ve ever wrote. Just remember that you’re the strong one, your gonna carry on and overcome all of this for me. You’ve got to do it Dionne, I’ll be there with you every step of the way even if I’m not there physically, I’m surrounding you in everything you do."

Dionne could see where Nicky’s fallen tears had stained the paper. Hers now joined his. Shane kept his head buried in his arms, trying to block out the sound of Dionne reading Nicky’s letter.

"I’ve got to go now Dionne. But can you do one thing for me, pass a message onto Shane."

Dionne stared directly into Shane’s watery eyes as he looked up at her. She took a small breath before reading the last line.

"Tell him, this is what you call, doing it properly."

Dionne turned and walked away. Away from the painful memories of the park, away from Shane forever.