"I’m going back to Wales," Lucy said.

"What? Why?" Shane asked, shocked.

"You know that me being in Ireland was only temporary," she continued.

"Yeah, but why now?"

"Because there’s opportunities back home and if I don’t leave now then I never will."

"Why is that a bad thing?" he asked.

"I can’t stay here. My family and everyone I love is back in Wales and its my home, I can’t not go back, as much as I love it here."

"I can’t believe this, I can’t believe you’re leaving," he said, sitting down beside her.

"I know and I’m gonna miss you so much, your friendship means the world to me."

He leaned in for a hug.

"When will you be going?" he asked.

"As soon as I can, I suppose."

"Well there’s so much to do before you go," and he began planning their next few days together.

"Don’t forget, I’ve gotta find you a nice girl before I go because you won’t have my expert opinion once I leave," she laughed.

"And that would be tragic!" he joked.

So they spent the next few days having as much fun as they could.

Lucy and Shane were amazing friends, even though they’d only known each other for a year. They’d been there for each other through everything and nothing could spoil the friendship they had.

"What did you think of that then?" Lucy asked, turning to Shane.

"It was alright. Nothing special but it wasted two hours, didn’t it?" he replied.

"So, what do we do now?"

"Eat!"

"Sounds like a plan," he said as he picked up the bags of Chinese from the floor.

As they sat eating, Shane turned to Lucy,

"So, what will you do when you get home?"

"I think the first thing I need to do is catch up on all the gossip from my sisters, then I don’t know."

"You don’t know what you want to do in the long run?"

"I’m not sure, I think I’m gonna look at some college courses for uni, I’ll wait till I get back to decide which one."

They continued eating and talking, both avoiding the sentimental heart-to-heart they knew that was coming. It was Shane who started off the conversation.

"I don’t wanna start getting all depressing or anything but I really do wanna tell you how much you mean to me because I know that I don’t tell you enough."

"So what do you love about me then?" she smiled.

"Nothing! Ha ha! I don’t know…I suppose everything. Our chats where you gave me advice or when we sit up for hours talking about life…okay, so it was more hours of me complaining about how tired I was because I was working too hard."

"You working too hard? Ha!"

"Don’t start now Lu, I’m trying to be nice about you!"

"Okay, okay, I’m sorry. I think it’s my turn now…I wanna say how much I appreciate you and how much you’ve made me feel welcome here. I’m so grateful for your friendship, you’ve always been here for me, no matter what."

She couldn’t help but lean over to hug him.

"I’m gonna miss you so much," she said.

"Come on, Luce, Wales isn’t that far away."

"Yeah but you’re always so busy with the band –"

"I’ll come and visit, I promise. You know you mean too much to me for me to just let you go."

"Thank you Shay," she said.

"How can you thank me when I’ve just messed up your flat."

"I’m serious, you haven’t made this as bad as it could’ve been."

And before either of them knew what was happening they were leaning towards each other. Their lips met and they shared a slow and gentle kiss.

Lucy pulled back,

"We can’t do this," she whispered.

But before Shane could reply, she had leaned back towards him and their lips met again.

It was Shane’s turn to pull away. He stood up.

"I’m sorry, Shay, I didn’t mean to. You don’t have to go."

He shook his head, took her hand and led her towards the bedroom…

Lucy slowly opened her eyes, trying to adjust her eyes to the bright room around her. She turned over to find a space where Shane had fallen asleep. She sat up in bed and looked around the room but she still couldn’t see him. She swung her legs over the side of the bed, wiped her eyes and put on her dressing gown. She went into the front room, then into the kitchen but he wasn’t anywhere. She had begun thinking that Shane thought that the night before had been a mistake. She walked back into the kitchen and put the kettle on and then went into the living room and sat on the sofa. She looked down to the coffee table. On it was a note which read,

Lucy, I needed some time. You’ve done nothing wrong and I don’t regret last night but I need to sort some stuff out in my head. I’ll ring you later today. Shay x

If last night was fine then why did he have to leave? She had so many unanswered questions but she couldn’t speak to Shane, she needed someone else. She decided Lusia would be the best person to talk to, although she didn’t know how she would think about what Lucy had done.

"Hello?"

"Lusia, it’s Lucy."

"Hey Luce, how are you?"

"I really need to talk actually."

"Sure, is Starbucks okay?"

"Fine, are you free in an hour?"

"Yeah, I’ll see you then…and Lucy, don’t worry."

"Thanks hun, I’ll see you then."

"Bye babez."

So in an hour she entered Starbucks and saw Lusia eagerly waving at her. She stood up from her seat and gave Lucy a hug as she approached.

"So, how have you been? It feels like I haven’t seen you in ages," Lusia asked.

"I was fine, until this morning."

"Why? What happened?"

"Well last night Shane was over my place and well, um – "

"You screwed him, didn’t you?"

"Thanks for putting it so nicely," Lucy said.

"So? What’s wrong with sleeping with him?"

"When I woke up he was gone."

"Oh," Lusia said, bluntly, "not good."

"He left this for me," she said, pulling out the note.

"Well, at least he’s kind of explained…It’s better than nothing at all."

"I suppose…it’s just this has changed everything. We can’t go back to the way we were and I leave in a few days."

"Isn’t that just making a clean break though. It means there won’t be any of the awkwardness or the change in friendship and you can make a clean break."

"I don’t really wanna run away from this."

"You don’t wanna get involved with him, do you?" Lusia asked.

"I didn’t….but I didn’t ever look at him in that way. I just feel like shit because it looks like I’m running away from everything without sorting it out."

Lucy’s phone rang from inside her bag, she took it out.

"It’s Shane."

"Well, you’ve gotta face him sooner or later."

So she answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey Luce, it’s Shane."

"Hi."

"I know I kinda left this morning without explaining and I wanna say I’m sorry."

"You don’t have to apologise."

"Yeah, I do. Listen, can we meet up? I think we need to talk."

"Sure, where?"

"How about mine, is that okay?"

"Fine, I’ll be there soon."

"See ya."

"Bye."

She looked at Lusia without saying anything.

"Just go, you need to sort it out."

"Thanks babe, I’ll phone you when I get home."

"Just make sure you don’t do it again," she joked.

"I won’t…bye."

"Bye."

And so she left Lusia to order coffee.

All the way to Shane’s she practised what she was going to say. That it was something that could never be repeated again and that it wouldn’t change her decision to leave. She couldn’t tell him the truth, that it’d been amazing and there was nothing more that she wanted to do than to keep making the same mistake over and over. She valued his friendship too much to tell him that and if he didn’t feel the same way then she’d just look stupid. All she had to do now was face him but that was going to be a lot harder than it sounded.

When she reached Shane’s house she took a deep breath and knocked on the front door. When he answered he didn’t say a word just moved out of the way so she could go inside and sit down in the living room. He stood in the middle of the room. There was nothing but silence between them until Shane spoke,

"Last night was…" He paused. "I can’t do this."

"Shane…"

"It was the best night of my life. I know it shouldn’t have happened and I know it won’t change the fact that you’re leaving but I just want to say that I don’t regret one second of it."

"Neither do I, but it changes things between us, we just can’t go back to the way we were."

"Why not? I don’t wanna lose you as a friend because of what happened."

"That’s not gonna happen but I don’t want it to look like I’m running away from you because I’m not. I couldn’t bare it if you weren’t in my life."

"I always told you that you couldn’t get rid of me that easily."

Lucy got up and hugged him.

"I better get going," Lucy said, pulling away.

"Packing?"

"Yep and if I don’t do it now, I never will."

She started towards the door and stepped outside.

"I’m sure we’ll see each other before you go," he said.

"I expect to see you at the airport waving me off," she smiled.

"I will be," he replied.

And she left. He went back inside and sat on the sofa. He put his head in his hands and sighed. He knew that she wouldn’t have stayed for him so why had he secretly hoped that she would? He knew it was going to be hard to say goodbye when their night together had had such a big effect on him. He didn’t want to admit it but he was starting to fall for her but he knew she was still leaving and he was just going to have to deal with it.

A Few Days Later

"I’m gonna miss you," Lusia said.

"I’m gonna miss you too," Lucy replied.

They hugged.

"We’ve gotta visit as soon as you can."

"I will."

They pulled away and turned to Nicky.

"You take good care of her," she said, looking at Lusia.

"I’m sure I can manage that," he replied.

They hugged.

"Take care," he said.

"You too," she replied.

Last was Shane.

"I’m gonna miss you most of all," she said.

"I don’t blame you," he laughed.

They embraced in a long hug, neither wanting to let go. Lucy wiped a tear from her eye. They pulled away.

"You promised me you wouldn’t cry," he said.

"I tried, but I can’t."

"You’re gonna cause a puddle if you don’t go now."

"I’m going, I promise."

She turned around and without looking back she walked to the departure lounge. When she got on the plane she cried. She was going to miss them all so much and it was going to be quite a while before she got to go back.

In the taxi on the way to her house she tried to think of what her family would say when she just turned up unannounced. She’d told them a few months that she was thinking of coming back but had said nothing since. She started to become nervous; her mum didn’t really like suprises and this was a pretty big surprise.

When the taxi pulled up outside the house her heart began thumping harder. She paid the taxi driver and managed to carry all her luggage up the driveway to the front door. She rang the doorbell. It was her dad that answered.

"Lucy?!" he stated in shock.

"Hi dad."

"What? When? Why?"

"Can’t really answer three questions at once, as clever as I am."

She heard her mum’s voice in the background before she appeared in front of her.

"Who’s at the door…"

Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open.

"Oh my God! Lucy!"

She gave her daughter a warm hug.

"Come on in, we’ll bring your bags in."

Her and her luggage were ushered into the house.

After all the excitement they all sat in the living room with a cup of tea.

"So, where are Hollie and Lissa?"

"Well Lissa’s moved in with Craig and Hollie’s out with friends."

"Well, can I phone Lissa coz I’d like to speak to her?"

"Yeah, her number’s by the phone," her mum said.

"Thanks," Lucy said going into the kitchen.

"Hello?"

"Lissa? It’s Lucy."

"Lucy, it’s good to hear from you, where are you ringing from?"

"Mum and Dad’s actually."

"What? You mean you’re in Cardiff? Oh my God, we’ll have to meet up? Do you wanna come around here? You can see our new place at the same time."

"Yeah, sure, I’ll have to ask dad to give me directions but I’m sure I can manage to find it."

"Well I’ll see you then."

"Yep, I shouldn’t be too long."

"Bye."

"Bye."

Lucy managed to find Lissa’s house without too much trouble.

"Hey sis," Lucy said as Lissa answered the door.

"Lucy, it’s so good to see you," Lissa replied, giving her sister her hug.

She led her inside and gave her the grand tour of the house. It was spacious and modern and the type of house that Lucy always dreamed of.

"This place is amazing," Lucy said as they finally settled into the living room.

"It’s taken a lot of hard work but we finally got there."

Lucy admired her sister so much. She was so hard-working and ambitious and was everything Lucy wanted to be.

"So, how long are you going to be here?"

"As long as possible, I hope."

"Do you know what you’re gonna do?"

"I think I’m gonna look into some college courses or if a job comes along I’d think about that, I definitely need the money."

"Actually now that you mention it there’s been a job opening at the magazine. It’s nothing exciting but the pay’s okay and it’s a start."

"Thank you so much."

"Well you haven’t got it –"

"I know but I still appreciate you telling me about it and hopefully it can be a good start to my stay."

They continued talking and both soon realised that their time apart had brought them closer together.

Six Months Later

Lucy sat down and put her head on the desk in front of her. She was too tired to think about doing anything else. It was 3pm and she had been running around for people since she’d arrived at 9am that morning.

Lissa saw her sister and went to her.

"Tired?"

Lucy sat up and weakly nodded.

"You can go home now if you want. There’s not much for you to do around here."

"Thanks Liss," she replied getting up and grabbing her bag and jacket..

She walked out of the ‘Faith’ offices and into the summer heat. She took out her sunglasses and put them on. She walked towards the city centre and waited for a bus.

When she finally got home Hollie was already there.

"Listen, do you wanna come out with me tonight? Lissa said she will, we can make a night of it."

"I’m not sure…"

"Oh come on, it’ll be fun, we haven’t had a proper girly night out for ages."

"Oh, alright then. I could do with a good night out."

So at 8pm the three girls headed to the clubs of Cardiff. Lucy still didn’t really feel in the party mood but she managed some dancing and the three of them talked and laughed like they’d always done.

"Come on," Hollie said, "I wanna dance some more."

Lissa got up but Lucy decided to sit it out.

She sat looking at her sisters dancing and laughing and realised how good it was to be with them again.

Just then a fairly old, obviously drunk man came and sat next to her. He held out his hand.

"Dave Turner, and you are…?"

"Alyson," she said sweetly, thinking of the first name that came into her head.

"Alyson, it’s a pleasure."

With a nod, Lucy turned back to look at her sisters. She felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Tell you what, I’ll get us a couple of drinks and we’ll get to know each other."

"No, its okay…" she began, sliding away from him.

But he moved in closer.

"I insist," he said, getting two drinks from the bar.

Then, when he sat back down, he began telling her his life story, leaning into her. She tried to smile sweetly but he was really testing her patience. Lucy gulped her drink down, hoping it would drown his talking.

As he droned on Lucy looked around, anything was better than eye contact with this bloke. On a table fairly close by she saw a guy dressed in a smart-casual shirt and jeans. He was at least six feet tall with short brown hair and electric blue eyes. He looked over and smiled and Lucy smiled back but also hoped he could see the desperate, pleading look in her eyes, that meant she needed rescuing.

"Refill?" Dave asked, with a hand on her knee.

"Please, don’t do that," she said, coldly.

"Just being friendly Al-y-son," as he took his hand away.

She looked around again hoping to continue her flirtation with the cute guy from the other table but he was gone. Great. She knocked back the last of her drink.

"Kelly?"

Lucy looked up. Cute guy smiled expectantly at her.

"Sorry, my name isn’t –"

"I’m Jack," he said. "We met at…Oh, come on, you must remember…Kelly."

"Mate her name is Alyson," ever-helpful Dave chirped in.

Not true. But it was Kelly either, whoever that lucky bitch was.

Lucy shook her head. "I’m sorry, you must’ve mistaken me for someone else."

Jack laughed and shook his head. "I know it’s you. It was last October at…Christian’s party. This drunk-out-of-his-head guy cornered you but you were too polite to tell him where to get off."

Lucy was about to deny it before it dawned on her. He didn’t really know her, but he wanted to save her from the ‘drunk-out-of-his-head guy’ who had cornered her.

"Oh right! Of course, Jack…Scully!" Lucy said, thinking of a TV soap character she liked. From the broad grin appearing on Jack’s face he obviously got the joke.

"That’s me," he agreed. "You look great Kelly, how are you?"

"Great thanks, but I do feel like a dance."

He offered his hand and Lucy waved back at a gob-smacked Dave as Jack led her onto the dancefloor.

"I have a confession to make," he smiled when they reached the dancefloor. "I’m not really Jack Scully."

"And I’m not really Alyson."

"So, who are you?"

"Lucy."

"Ben."

She rested her arms on his shoulders and he placed his hands on her waist.

"Well, its nice to meet you Ben. And I just wanna thank you for saving my life back there."

"I can recognise a cry for help when I see one," he replied.

And they continued talking and dancing. Lucy’s sisters left her to it, seeing how much fun she was obviously having.

Over the next few days Lucy and Ben spent as much time as they could together and she was finally settling into life back in Wales.

They were going out again on this night but Ben refused to tell her where. But she was intrigued as to where all these roads she barely recognised led to. When they reached their destination they walked together hand-in-hand until they came to a marina, filed with dozens of boats of all sizes. They continued to walk for a few metres until,

"This is it," he said as they stopped.

He pointed to a fairly small but still impressive boat.

"Yours?" she asked.

"My dad bought it for me," he said, "He tries to make up for not being around by spending his money on me. On this occasion I didn’t really complain."

They stepped aboard and they sat down on a blanket.

"I’ll just start her up…back in a sec."

She looked out into the night sky, the moon was bright and the stars were sparkling. After a few minutes they had moved quite a way from the marina and they stopped in the dark, calm water.

"So, are you enjoying yourself?" he asked, kissing her neck.

"It’s incredible," she replied, closing her eyes.

He then gave her a soft kiss on the lips. It made her tingle with excitement.

"Do you want to go into the cabin?"

She nodded her head.

"Good."

He took her hand and led her down below.

She sat on the bed as he approached her. He leant down and kissed her, and then he really kissed her. She could feel herself giving in to him.

"I’m sorry, I just can’t."

"Lucy, it’s okay. I told you."

She was silent.

"I can’t believe you’re lost for words, I think that’s a first."

He kissed her on the forehead.

"I’m just sorry."

"I’m not gonna explode just because we almost did it but didn’t. I’m not that shallow."

She smiled.

"I’ll go upstairs and head us back. You say there…make yourself comfortable."

He kissed her again before disappearing. She lay down on her side and sank against the pillow. She could hear Ben banging around before closing her eyes…

"Hey."

She slowly opened her eyes. She must of dozed off.

"Sorry about that," she said.

"No problem," he replied. "I’m just gonna go and bring the car around closer, save us walking. I’ll be back in a flash."

And he was gone. She got up, splashed some water on her face and sat back on the bed. The water hadn’t done much to wake her up and she was still shattered. She lay back down and decided to rest her eyes while she waited for Ben to return with the car.

She woke up suddenly. There was light flooding into the cabin. It was morning. She rubbed her eyes. How long had she been asleep? Where was Ben?

"Ben!"

No answer.

"Ben!"

Where was he? She got up from the bed and up to the top of the boat. Still there was no sign of him. She looked at her watch. 9:00. Great. As well as being left she was also going to be late for work. She couldn’t work out where he’d gone. She stepped off the boat and looked around the marina. There was no sign of Ben’s car either. She got out her phone and decided to phone home. All she wanted to do now was go home and forget about Ben. Her initial thoughts of worry for him had now turned to feelings of pure anger.

"Hello?" It was her dad. That much she was glad about. She didn’t fancy a grilling from her mum this early in the morning.

"Dad?"

"Lucy, where are you?"

"I’m still at the marina, can you pick me up?"

"I’ll be there in ten minutes."

Lucy had phoned her parents the night before to tell them where she was going to be and that she probably wouldn’t be home until morning. Although, this wasn’t exactly the way she’d planned to spend the few minutes after waking up.

The car journey home was silent. Neither Lucy or her dad said a word. As the car came to a stop outside the house, she turned to him.

"Thanks Dad."

"For what?"

"For not asking."

"That’s okay, love."

One Month Later

Lucy hadn’t heard a word from Ben since that night. And she wasn’t about to make the first call. She still couldn’t believe what he’d done. She thought he was a really genuine guy, but he was like the rest of them – she hadn’t given him what he wanted so he’s run away.

She was now stood at the photocopying machine, watching it churn out paper. She was getting quite bored of doing the same thing day-in-day-out. When the machine had finished she gathered up all the paper and took it to one of the offices. She knocked on the door.

"Come in," said a polite voice.

"These are the things you wanted photocopied."

"Ah, yes, just put them on the table there. Actually, Lucy, there is something I need to talk to you about. Please, sit down."

She did as she was told and listened as Sarah, one of the top people at the magazine, told her that there was a job opening that Lucy would be perfect for. She’d seen some of Lucy’s writing and thought that she’d be as perfect as a reporter. She’d never done any professional writing before, although everyone had told her she could be a writer. This job meant that she’d be able to interview celebrities as well as writing all sorts of articles to go inside the magazine. Things were finally looking up for her and she was so happy.

Her first assignment was to do a small news article on Big Brother, and she was off. She fitted perfectly into the job; she enjoyed it, her articles and interviews were praised by everyone and she was making friends with her colleagues. Everything looked so good, but she knew it was all too good to be true.

Four Months Later

Lucy had been doing brilliantly in her job – she’d interviewed Rachel Stevens, Kym Marsh and Girls Aloud and had done a few articles about fashion, beauty and television. Things were going so well, until one day.

"I’ve got another interview for you," Sarah said.

"Great, who?"

"Westlife."

Her blood ran cold and she had to sit down. She couldn’t see him now, it’d bring back too many memories, memories that shouldn’t be part of her new life.

"What’s wrong?" Sarah asked, "I thought you’d be happy."

"I am," she said, trying her hardest to smile.

"I can’t do it," she said.

"Why not?" Lissa asked.

"Because it’ll be too hard, I can’t see him again."

"It’ll only be for an hour or so."

"I know but then he’ll leave and I can’t say goodbye again, I couldn’t bare that."

"Why does it matter so much to you?"

"Because since that night before I left I’ve felt differently towards him and if I see him again, knowing that I can’t have him, it’ll kill me."

"This isn’t going to look good. Sarah’s not gonna be happy."

"I don’t really care right now. I just wanna forget about him, I just can’t go back, not now."

So, she refused the interview and, as she thought, she was fired. Sarah said she was being unprofessional and that she couldn’t let her personal life get in the way of the job. Lucy knew that all of that was true but she physically couldn’t face him however much she knew she should.

"So, how was it?" Lucy asked, sitting opposite Lissa.

"Like every other interview. I asked the questions they answered."

"They didn’t say anything else?"

"We only got to speak for a little while…if you mean did Shane ask about you, he did. He wanted to know how you were and how you were getting on in Wales."

"What did you tell him?" Lucy asked, anxiously.

"I said that you were fine and that you were happy."

"Good, thank you."

"That’s alright…Nicky did want me to tell you something though."

"What?"

"Lusia’s pregnant."

"Oh my God, I’ll have to ring her, congratulate her and everything."

Shane thought he’d moved on, and in a lot of ways he had, but there was something about today that had brought memories of her back. It was exactly a year since she’d left. He didn’t even know why he’d remembered, it was just something that had always stuck in his head. And the fact that he’d met her sister, Lissa, just a week earlier, had reminded him even more. There was just something about her that reminded him of Lucy. Perhaps it was just him wanting to see something in Lissa that would remind him of her sister.

It wasn’t long before he had to get back to work and back to normality so Lucy was temporarily pushed the back of his mind as he had more important people to think about.

Four Months Later

"Hello?"

"Lucy? It’s Nicky."

"Nicky? Hey. But what’s wrong, what’s happened."

"Why is my calling the sign of a bad thing…Okay, I’m a dad."

"Oh my God! I can’t believe it! When did Lusia give birth?"

"Last night, we’ve got a beautiful baby boy."

"Oh, congratulations!"

"Thank you. We just thought you’d like to know."

"Thank you for telling me. I think I’ll be taking a trip to Ireland to see you guys."

"You don’t have to –"

"It’s fine, I really want to."

"Well, it’ll be brilliant to see you again."

"You too, and send Lusia and the baby my love."

"I will."

"Bye."

"Bye."

As much as she didn’t want to see Shane, she wanted to see Lusia and the baby. She was her friend after all and this was a pretty big deal. It’d be brilliant to see everyone again, it’d been a year and a half, she’d missed Ireland and everyone there.

So, the next day, and after explaining to her family that she’s be away for a few days, she got on a plane to Ireland.

When she got there, and after checking in to a hotel, she went to the hospital. After finding the right room she knocked the door.

"Come in," said a cheery Lusia.

She pushed open the door to find Lusia on the bed and the baby in her arms.

"Lucy! I’m so glad you came!"

"How could I not come? I needed to see you and this little one," she said, sitting on the bed and stroking the baby’s cheek.

"Well, I do appreciate you coming over here so soon."

"It’s not like there’s anything keeping me over there."

"What do you mean?" Lusia asked.

"Well, I haven’t exactly had the best luck. The first guy I really like left when I wouldn’t sleep with him and then this really great job comes along and I get fired."

"Why? What happened?"

"Didn’t Nicky tell you? I refused to interview the band."

"Why? I thought you’d have been happy to see them."

"I don’t know…I guess…if I tell you this you’ve got to promise not to tell anyone."

"I promise."

"Well, after that night I spent with Shane I kind of fell for him. And then when I went back to Wales I was finally getting over him. If I’d seen him again…oh, I don’t know, I just couldn’t have faced him."

"So, what do you plan to do on this visit?"

"Avoid him, I suppose," Lucy replied, looking at the floor.

"How exactly are you gonna do that? He’s in and out of here all the time, you’re gonna have to face him sometime."

"Well, I’ll deal with that when it comes around."

"There’s actually something I need to tell you about him –"

"Can we talk about something else, like what you’re gonna call this angel."

"We’ve decided on Dillan."

"Dillan, that’s lovely."

"Yeah, but Lucy, I really have to tell you –"

The door opened and Shane walked in...followed by strawberry-blonde haired girl.

"Lucy!"

"Shane," she replied, calmly.

"I guess you guys haven't met," he said, moving out of the way so the girl could step forward.

"Gillian, Lucy, Lucy, Gillian."

They shook hands, neither knowing what to say.

"So," Shane continued, "you look well."

"You too...how have you been," she said, making small-talk.

"Good, and you?"

"Fine thanks."

There was another silence.

"I'm gonna have to get going," she said, "Lots to do while I'm here."

"How long are you here for?" he asked.

"I'm not sure yet, probably just a few days."

She turned to Lusia.

"I'll come and see you again when you're home, when are you out of here?"

"Later today...actually, we're having a get together dinner tomorrow night at our place, a coming home dinner really. We'd love it of you came."

"Oh, I don't know -"

"Come on Luce, I'm sure everyone would love to see you again," Lusia said, persuasively.

"Okay then, it would be nice to see everyone after so long."

She gave her a light hug, being careful of the sleeping baby.

"Bye."

She headed for the door.

"Bye Shane...Gillian, it was nice to meet you."

"Bye," Gillian said.

"See you tomorrow," Shane said.

And she headed out of the door and started down the corridor. When she got inside she sat down on a nearby bench. She really felt like she was going to break down but something inside her told her to be strong. She didn't know what to do or think. How could she not know that this was going to happen? It was obviously going to come along sooner or later. She just would've prefered it if she had been prepared for it. Although it broke her heart she had to pretend she was fine, she didn't need people feeling sorry for her. They'd obviously all know about Lucy and Shane's night together but she didn't want them thinking that it'd affected her, that would be too hard to deal with.

She spent the rest of the day aimlessly walking around Sligo, then going to her hotel room to lie on her bed and listen to some music. That night she finally got to sleep after hours of tossing and turning.

She slept in later than usual, making up for her lack of sleep the night before. When she did finally rise she had a shower and rang Lusia.

"So, how are you coping?" she asked.

"Good, so far," Lusia replied. "But then again, it hasn't even been 24 hours so ask me in a few days. Nicky's been brilliant, he's with him at the moment. It's lucky I cleaned the house before I went in otherwise I'd never have been ready for tonight."

"That's why I called actually, do you need any help tonight?"

"Oh, would you? Because I could really do with any extra pair of hands around here."

"It'll be my pleasure."

"Thanks, Luce, I appreciate it."

"That's okay, I'm happy to help."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about -"

"I know what you're gonna say and can we not? I want to enjoy myself tonight without you or anyone else worrying about me. It's his business what he does with his life, not mine."

"You almost convinced me," Lusia said.

"Convinced you of what?"

"That you're okay. Please, Luce, you don't have to pretend with me. But if you don't want to talk about it, I won't push it."

"Thanks, Lusia...So, what time shall I come around tonight?"

"Is 7 okay? I told everyone else to come at quarter past so it should give us enough time to do last minute touches."

"Yeah, that's great...what should I wear?"

"Something stunning, I'm wearing a long dress so anything like that."

"Okay then, I'll see you at seven."

"See you later."

"Bye."

"Bye."

At Quarter To Seven

She stood in front of the mirror and looked at her reflection. She smiled back at herself. She was wearing a dark red dress which lay just below her knees. Her long chocolate brown hair fell in soft curls around her shoulders.

She grabbed her bag, the flowers and headed downstairs to wait for her taxi.

When she reached Nicky and Lusia’s house, she was stood at the door for a few minutes before it was opened by Lusia.

"Sorry about that, Dillan’s just nodded off so we’re just putting him to bed."

"Don’t worry, its fine."

"You look beautiful, that dress is gorgeous."

"Thank you, you too, you look stunning."

She was in a down-to-the-floor black strapless dress with her blonde ringlets down loose.

Lucy offered her the flowers.

"Oh, Lucy, they’re gorgeous, thank you."

"That’s alright."

"Come on in," she said, stepping aside.

"Thank you," Lucy said, stepping inside the house.

Nicky then appeared.

"Hi Luce," he said.

"Hey Nix," she replied.

"You look lovely."

"Thank you, you don’t scrub up too badly yourself."

"Well, I do try."

"So, shall we go and start? It shouldn’t take a few minutes to get everything ready."

"Yeah, just point me towards what I need to do."

So they went into the kitchen, Lusia found a vase to put the flowers in and they began preparing the food. Before no time at all the food was ready and waiting for when it was time for the guests to eat. And when the food was ready the doorbell rang.

Lucy stood slightly out of the way as Bryan, Kerry, Shane, Gillian, Mark and Kian piled into the house, bringing three bottles of wine with them.

They all greeted Lusia, then Nicky and lastly Lucy.

"Luce, you look stunning," Kian said, giving her a hug.

"Thanks Ki."

Then Mark hugged her, then Bryan, then Kerry stopped in front of her.

"You look gorgeous, Ker," Lucy said.

"What about you? You look stunning."

"Thank you darling," she replied, hugging her.

Shane and Gillian were last to greet her.

"It’s nice to see you again," Lucy said to Gillian.

"You too," she replied.

"And you too Shane," she said turning to him.

"You look beautiful," he said, hugging her.

It killed Lucy when he did that. There was nothing more that she wanted to do than to stay there forever, to hold him and to never let go. But she knew that that was impossible and she had to pull herself together and get over it.

Everyone gathered in the large living room as Lusia went to open one of the bottles of wine. They all talked and laughed. Kerry and Lusia discussed motherhood, everyone asked Lucy about her time in Wales and the subject of weddings came up.

"We’re thinking of getting married," Nicky said.

"Probably when Dillan’s a bit older so we’ve got time to plan it and everything," Lusia chipped in.

"What about you too?" Kerry asked, gesturing towards Shane and Gillian.

"Soon probably," Gillian said.

"We haven’t really thought about it with our schedule and everything. I dunno…"

Lucy had to get away from the conversation. She excused herself and went to the bathroom. She sat on the edge of the bath. She thought she was going to be okay with them there, she’d had a great time so far, but she couldn’t hear then talking like that. She heard a knock on the door.

"Lucy," she heard Nicky whisper. "Can I come in?"

"If you want," she said.

He opened the door.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"I’m fine," she replied, trying to sound genuine.

"It’s just the way you walked out like that, I thought something was wrong."

"I’m okay…its just the talk of weddings makes me feel a bit lonely," she said.

"I can promise you we won’t talk about it anymore, in fact, they’ve already move onto the next topic."

"Thanks Nic."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah."

"Why did you pull out of the interview? When Lusia told me -"

"Hang on, you mean you didn’t know before Lusia told you?"

"No, I assumed your sister was meant to do it from the start, she didn’t say anything to us."

"Oh, I just assumed you knew. I’m actually glad she didn’t tell you, I didn’t really want anyone else thinking I was stupid."

"No-one thinks you’re stupid…Did you pull out because of Shane?" he asked.

"She told you about that too."

"She told me you have feelings for him, yes, but its only because she doesn’t want you to go through this by yourself."

"I know, and I appreciate her so much, but I‘m not ‘going through’ anything. I said I was fine," she said, trying not to sound upset.

"Come on, Luce, you can’t fool me. I saw you out there, it’s killing you."

"So what if it is? There’s absolutely nothing I can do about it. He’s with Gillian, not me, and he’s happy. I want him to have that."

"I know you do, but it doesn’t mean you have to bottle this up, you know you can always talk to me and Lusia."

"Thank you Nicky. You know I never had you down as the agony uncle type."

"Well, I’m just full of surprises, me…Now, go out there, have fun. I’ll be out in a minute."

So she left the bathroom and rejoined the rest of the group. Nicky was right, she couldn’t let this control her life, she had to get on with it and have a good time…regardless of him. She could do it, or so she thought.

"Lucy, could you come and help me for a minute?" Lusia asked at the door of the kitchen.

"Yeah, sure," Lucy said, putting her glass down and going to help.

"So, are you enjoying yourself?" Lusia asked, taking something out of the oven.

"Yeah, its been brilliant seeing everyone again."

"Even Shane?"

"I’m fine about him…your boyfriend gave me some really good advice which made me realise that he’s not going to control my life. If we’re meant to be, we’ll be, if not, that’s his loss."

Lusia laughed.

"That’s a brilliant attitude to have, I’m really proud of the way you’re dealing with this."

"Can we not get all sentimental and actually serve some of this amazing food."

"Come on then."

So they got to work and in no time at all there were platefuls of food waiting to be served.

"Dinner’s ready!"

And they all gathered and sat down at the dining table as the plate’s began arriving at the table.

"This looks so good," Bryan said.

"It does look amazing," Mark agreed.

"So stop talking and start eating," Lucy said, taking her seat.

They hardly spoke through the meal, all enjoying the food too much to talk. When their plates were empty everyone began talking in separate conversations.

Lucy looked around, enjoying the atmosphere of the night. She’d missed this when she’d been away. She’d missed her friends and spending time with them. She looked at Shane. He was looking at her. Her stomach jumped as he smiled at her. She smiled back. Gillian moved in front of his face, kissing him.

She couldn’t do it. She made an excuse about getting some water and went into the kitchen. Lusia followed her.

"What’s wrong?"

"I thought I could do it, I really did, but I just can’t. I can’t see them together, it hurts too much. I tried not to think about it but there’s nothing I can do to stop myself thinking about him."

"I’m sorry," Lusia said, moving forward to hug her friend.

"Is everything okay in here?" It was Shane.

"Yeah, we’re fine," Lucy said, pulling away from the hug. "I think I’ll go back in," she said, making a quick exit back into the dining room.

When Shane and Lusia re-entered the room they had brought another bottle of wine in with them. Shane gave a concerned look Lucy’s way. She smiled in return, she hoped he bought it as a way of her saying she was fine.

It wasn’t long until they’d moved back into the living room. The drink was still flowing, making a few of them slightly drunk and loud, causing Dillan to wake up.

"I’ll go," Lusia said, getting up.

"So, Lucy, "Kerry said, after Lusia had gone. "You got anyone special back in Wales?"

"No, just enjoying being single."

"No-one lives up to Shane’s standards, eh?" she joked.

She knew Kerry was only joking but she felt insulted and she’d hit her right where it hurt. She couldn’t stay there, not now, not with everyone looking at her like that.

"I’m sorry, I’ve gotta go," she said, grabbing her coat and fleeing out of the door.

"Lucy!" She heard Shane and Nicky calling after her.

She kept walking. She knew where she was going. She was going to the place where she used to go to think or to be alone. It was the most beautiful spot, you could look out onto the whole of Sligo. It was breathtaking and it amazed Lucy every single time she went up there. She sat down and looked up at the stars. She sighed. And then began to cry. The tears fell slowly from her eyes, down her soft cheeks and onto her dress. Why did she let him effect her so much? She asked herself. But she knew the answer. Because he was the one person that she truly wanted to be with. She wanted to spend her life with him, to share everything with him and to be loved by him more than anything else in the world.

"I knew you’d be here." She turned around to find Shane walking towards her.

"That obvious?" she asked, wiping at her eyes.

"Afraid so," he said, sitting down beside her.

He looked at her.

"Hey, what’s wrong?" He asked softly, noticing her tear-stained face.

"Nothing, I’m fine."

"You’ve been saying that all night, and I’m starting to think that it’s not true."

"Well, tough, because that’s all you’re getting."

"Come on, Luce, don’t shut me out."

"What Kerry said -"

"Don’t listen to Kerry, she was drunk and she was only joking. She says she’s sorry."

"Yeah, but she was right…" she paused. "Shane, I miss you. And before you say anything I don’t mean as a friend. There’s something there with you, something that’s never happened with anyone else before. I don’t know exactly what it is that I feel but being here has made it all too clear to me. All I know is that it breaks my heart to see you with someone else because I want you to be with me and I want you to love me the way that I love you."

She stood up and left, she didn’t want to hear what he had to say. It’d be the ‘I’m with Gillian’ speech she was expecting and that would break her heart even more. She just had to leave and be as far away as possible.

"I’m sorry for leaving last night."

"Don’t worry, I understand why you did. Kerry was out of order for saying what she did," Lusia replied.

"She wasn’t to know…it was my fault for over-reacting."

"Don’t blame yourself. You can’t help who you love, Luce, you’re not supposed to."

"Thanks Lu…I’m going back."

"When?"

"Tomorrow," Lucy replied, "I’ve seen everyone, there’s no need to stick around."

"Well, I appreciate you coming over in the first place, it was great to see you again."

"You too and I promise to visit again, just as soon as I’ve sorted out what I’m doing with my life."

"Just don’t leave it too long because I’m sure Dillan will want to see you again."

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For everything; for helping me through this whole Shane stuff and for being an amazing friend. I can’t thank you enough."

"You don’t have to. Lucy, don’t think you ever have to go through anything alone, I’ll always be there for you."

"Let’s not get all sentimental and everything coz it’ll make me cry."

"Well, I’ll see you at the airport then."

"You don’t have to -" Lucy began to protest.

"I want to…and I’m sure Nicky and Dillan will want to wave you off too."

"Well, I’ll see you there then."

"Bye."

"Bye."

Lucy spent the rest of the day savouring what was left of her time in Ireland. She’d missed it so much. She’d definitely be coming back, and not just because she’d promised it to Lusia. There was something special about Ireland that Lucy couldn’t quite put her finger on. Maybe it was the good memories, or the fact that it wasn’t as busy as Cardiff. It held a special place in her heart that nothing else did…except maybe one thing.

The Next Day

"This seems familiar," Lucy said, standing with her suitcase in front of Nicky, Lusia and Dillan in his pushchair.

"Except now there’s a new person here," Nicky said.

Lucy smiled.

"But an old one’s not here." she said.

"I’m sorry he’s not here," Lusia said.

"I didn’t expect him to, I laid it on pretty heavy last night."

"Look after yourself," Nicky said, stepping forward and hugging her.

"You too."

They pulled away and she stepped towards Lusia.

"Take care of these two," she said.

"I will…and good luck in the future."

"Thank you…but I will keep you updated."

"I’m gonna miss you again."

"I’m gonna miss you too."

They hugged.

And then Lucy left again, feeling even worse than the first time. And again when she was alone she cried. Mostly because she wasn’t going back. Not until Shane was completely out of her head anyway.

One Month Later

It was now well and truly summer, in Wales, as well as everywhere else in the country. It was mid July and Lucy was sunbathing and very glad that she didn’t have a job. She wouldn’t have wanted to miss this weather for the world. The sound of Christina Aguilera flowed from the stereo beside her as she picked up the latest issue of Heat and began reading. It wasn’t long before she was interrupted by Hollie.

"Hey, Luce, do you fancy coming out tonight?"

"Where?"

"Well, I thought we could try that new place down Cardiff Bay."

"The Chinese place?" Lucy asked.

"Yeah, so do you fancy it?"

"Yeah, sure, sounds like fun."

"I’m coming to wherever you’re going," Lissa said, appearing from the back door.

"We’re gonna try that new Chinese restaurant down the bay," Hollie said, "you up for it?"

"Yeah, it’d be nice to get out, make the most of this weather."

Later that evening

Lucy looked at her reflection in the mirror. She was pleased with what met her. She wanted to make an effort tonight, it was a while since she’d been out with her sisters and she was maybe she would meet some-one, she knew she was finally ready too.

"You ready?" Hollie asked from behind her.

"Yep," she replied, grabbing her small bag and heading out of her bedroom.

"Ley’s go," Lissa said as the taxi beeped from outside.

When they reached Cardiff Bay, it was already beginning to fill up with people, obviously everyone else had had the same idea of savouring the nice weather. Every restaurant and bar glowed warmly along the water front. The three girls walked on the pathway between the restaurants and the sea wall, taking in the atmosphere of the evening. When they reached their destination they went inside and found a free table next to the window. The restaurant was decorated warmly with Chinese designs and artefacts and was lit warmly with candles on each table.

After a few minutes of deciding they ordered their meals and began chatting and watching the nightlife unfold outside.

"There’s something I need to tell you guys," Lissa said, "and I haven’t told mum and dad yet so you can’t say anything."

"We won’t," Lucy assured her.

"Me and Craig have set a date for the wedding."

"That’s brilliant," Hollie said. "So, when is it?"

"July thirtieth next year…And I was just wondering whether you’d be my bridesmaids."

"Oh my God, of course we will," Lucy squealed.

Weddings got them all excited, especially Lucy, for some reason. She was the type of girl who’d been planning her wedding day from when she was 12, the fairytale day that dreams were made of. She was so happy for Lissa, she couldn’t think of anyone else who deserved it more.

So, the three of them began happily talking about weddings and the types of things she could have. Lucy loved talking with her sisters like this. As they’d grown older, they’d become much closer and were now more like best friends, rather than sisters. Even when their meals arrived, it didn’t stop them talking.

After they had finished eating, they decided to move onto one of the many bars just a short distance away to drink and laugh the night away. After a few drinks Lucy needed a break.

"I’m going to get some fresh air," she said.

"Okay, but don’t be too long coz you’re gonna miss out on all the fun," Hollie said, gesturing at the three men looking their way.

She was glad to get outside into the slightly cooler summer night. She walked a little way to get away from it all. Just past the restaurants and bars she stood next to the wall, looking out onto the water. The moon left a long, white, glittering reflection on the calm water and the stars shone brightly above her. She looked back to the restaurants and bars, she’d much have rather just have a quiet meal, then a walk along the sea front, than spend half the night in a loud, smoky bar. She sat down on a bench behind her and looked up at the stars.

"I love you," she looked up to find Shane, smiling down at her.

She stood up slowly in disbelief, trying to take him in.

"Why? How…"

"It doesn’t matter."

And before she could do anything else, he moved a hand to her cheek and kissed her. As their lips met, she moved her hand to the back of his head, pulling him in. The kiss was soft and slow, yet passionate at the same time. They were so glad to finally be together again, but they wanted to savour every last second of it. Their lips moved together in a way they had both imagined for too long. He slid his tongue into her mouth, entwining it with hers.

When they finally, reluctantly parted Lucy nearly broke down. She was so overwhelmed with emotions, she couldn’t say a word. She just let Shane hold her, looking into his deep hazel eyes, as though she really couldn’t believe he was really there.

"You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that," he whispered.

She replied with another soft kiss.

"So what made you come here?"

"It's always been you, Luce, I've never wanted anyone else."