Melanie's Review
Laurie's Review
Melanie's Review:When I watch They Eat Horses, Don't They? I remind myself that this is only the fourth episode of the series, and I try to cut it some slack. I enjoy many individual moments, but the episode as a whole leaves me disappointed. It suffers from too many cardboard villains and 2-dimensional characters, and uses a sledgehammer to deliver its numerous messages when a deft touch would do.
What is the central theme of the episode? The story divides its attention among the heartlessness of the welfare system, the cruelty of animal slaughter and the greed of commerce. Perhaps if the doctors and child services caseworker hadn't been set up as villains, I'd be able to spare more passion for the horses or outrage for the dishonest meat processors. There are just too many different places to spend my emotional coin!
The best thing about this episode (just about the only great thing about this episode) is the continuing development of the Fraser/Ray friendship. They sparkle in many different moments, especially in the dumpster, the bathroom, and the freezer. This early in the series it makes sense for Ray to be playing City Guide to his (supposedly) clueless new friend, teaching him the survival methods and dating techniques of the big city. Fraser cooling himself off in the refrigerator section is a lovely touch. ("It's nineteen degrees cooler over here.")
The scene with the Duck Boys, on the other hand, falls extremely flat. I have the feeling they were trying to remind viewers of the rivalry, but similar scenes in Free Willie and Chinatown were much more elegant. This one was junior high school-crude.
I'll try to set aside the Barnaby Jones stuff for a moment and celebrate the fact that Ray actually did some stellar police work in this episode. You'd think that a scatalogical clue would be right up Fraser's alley, but it was Ray who realized the value of the evidence, identified an "expert" witness and obtained the necessary information to identify the culprit. Zaleb himself is the best character of the episode.
Most of the other guest characters in this episode are sadly two-dimensional. Mrs Gamez is a wuss, Stephanie Cabot is blandly perfect (almost a Mary Sue!) and Leggett is a cigar-chomping villain with no morals or apparent motivation. Y'all know by now that I prefer characters to be complex and shaded in their positive and negative qualities; I would have preferred Stephanie to be a radical with a knack for getting in the way, or Legget to be a businessman who had slipped gradually and regretfully into the practice of mixing horse meat with his ground beef. I would have rather seen the caseworker bucking the system for the Gamez family, or the FDA inspector blackmailing Legget to keep his findings quiet. Instead, we get bad guys who are nothing but bad, good guys who are nothing but good, and victims who are nothing but victims.
Duesies:Ray: You know Fraser, when I was a little boy, I used to dream of what it would be like to be a police officer. You know, shooting the bad guys, saving the girl. Being knee deep in day-old chicken heads looking for tainted meat was never a part of that dream.
Ray: These things wash off, right?
Fraser: Parasites? Yes, of course. Although there is always the chance they laid eggs.
Ray: Soap! More soap!
Fraser: But I don't think so. Most parasites live only on particular hosts.
Ray: What, I wasn't gracious enough? I should have offered them canapes?Ray: A moment of your time, please, sir.
Welsh: Forget it.
Ray: Thank you, sir.
Fraser: Ah, excuse me, sir. Detective Vecchio believes we have the potential for a major health crises here and there appears to be a strong indication of criminal intent.
Welsh: You really believe that?
Ray: Ah yes, I do, sir.
Welsh: Good. Go tell the FDA.
Ray: Is that a meatloaf sandwich sir?
Welsh: Yes it is. Why?
Ray: Oh no reason, sir. I was just wondering--does your wife shop at Petit's Food Town?
Welsh: All right, get on it.Ray: You got a problem with something?
Zaleb: You oughta move your foot.
Ray: Maybe I don't want to move my foot.
Zaleb: But if you don't move your foot, I can't get to that horse patty.
Ray: Why would you want that horse patty?
Zaleb: I'm not telling.
Ray: Tell me why you want that horse patty and maybe I'll move my foot.
Zaleb: Never.
Ray: I'm a cop.
Zaleb: So what?
Ray: Do you want to serve time over a piece of manure?
Zaleb: I'd rather go to the chair then talk.
Ray: You know what I just decided? I've just decided you are so nuts I'm gonna let you have that patty.Ray: Yo! Manure man!
Zaleb: Leave me alone.
Ray: Look I just came to apologize. I should never have said you were nuts. You obviously do this for a very good reason and you probably make a pretty good living at it too.
Zaleb: You're not thinking of doing this yourself.
Ray: You mean scooping? I have no immediate plans.
Zaleb: An excellent living.
Ray: Really?
Zaleb: I collect and sell it for fertilizer.
Ray: So you must know your. . . .
Zaleb: Like nobody else.
Ray: So where do you find it all?
Zaleb: Stables, pony rides. But they're not my biggest source.
Ray: Meat packing plants.
Zaleb: The mother load.
Ray: Let me ask you a question. Have you noticed any subtle differences in the product at these various plants?
Zaleb: I'll check my database.
Ray: Great: Here's my card--give me a call. And to show my appreciation, I'm gonna point out you missed something nice behind that bucket there.
Zaleb: Why, thank you!Fraser: Well, it's a dry cold.
Moments of the Week:Any moment with Ray talking to Zaleb.
Second Runner-Up Cringe-Worthy Moment of the Week:Ray's Barnaby Jones theory of crime. He's a professional police detecitve, for pity's sake--it's one thing to have him grouse, whine, take short-cuts and generally display a burned out attitude toward his work, but it's another thing to make him look like a buffoon. This business just wasn't funny enough to justify the damage to the character's integrity.
Runner-Up Cringe-Worthy Moment of the Week:
As much fun as it was to have the whole Vecchio family in the one bathroom, I just can't quite support the idea of Mrs. Vecchio bringing her meatball sauce to the bathroom for a taste-test. Ick!
Cringe-Worthy Moments of the Week:
What is with Fraser cutting open packages of ground meat with his (not sterile) knife and then tossing them back into the bin? Even though the earlier packages were "bad" anyway, his knife didn't help; later in the episode he did the same thing with a package of pure beef and tossed that one back, too. Ick!
Continuity Moment of the Week:Fraser negotiated a verbal lease for his new neighbor. $375 a month, utilities included. Nothing in writing! No wonder everybody got screwed by the new landlord in One Good Man.
Runner-Up Nitpick of the Week:Why would Legget risk selling the wild horse meat as beef? I have no idea what horse meat tastes like, but I'd be willing to bet there's a difference in taste and texture. Meat for human consumption is subject to inspection. Accomplices at "cooperating supermarkets" could be turned against him if it came down to saving their own skin. If horse meat belongs in dog food (as this episode implies--I have no idea if that's true or not) then Legget could have put the wild horse meat in the dog food at a smaller profit for a far lesser risk.
Nitpick of the Week:
Fraser said, "I'll be at the auction. Call me if you find anything." Obviously Ray remembered that Fraser doesn't have a cell phone, because he actually went to the auction when he found something. ;-)
Runner-Up Irony of the week (I think):Was Stephanie driving a Mustang?
Irony of the Week:
Fraser only had one thing in his shopping cart at Petit's Food Town--dog food.
Guest Star of the Week:Richard Moll as Zaleb. ("I'll check my database.")
Hey, it's that Guy!:Richard Moll, again--he played the baliff "Bull" in the series Night Court.
Snack to enjoy while watching They Eat Horses, Don't They?:Pasta, with Mrs. Vecchio's famous Mystery Meat sauce.
Grading:
La Familia Gamez B- Mary Sue Cabot C Leggett's Fine Meats D Fraser and Ray A Overall Grade B
Laurie's Review:When I first saw They Eat Horses, Don't They? it made a fairly favorable impression and I still enjoy it, though there are a few scenes that I usually skip over. The humor is classic Due South, the dramatic storyline is handled very well and I find the topical plot believable, but it's the comic one-liners that especially appeal to me. Overall, it's a good hour of entertainment.
I like the way everything is interconnected. The supermarket trip (the catalyst for all the events), the plight of Mrs. Gamez and her family, the antics at the Vecchio home, the activity at the 27th, the horse auction, Stephanie Cabot's involvement and the meatpacking plant. Several little subplots but they're all related and overlap very nicely, and with an even balance of humor and drama.
Mrs. Gamez is very convincing. The doctor and the social worker both assume that because she's from another country and poor, she doesn't have common sense or intelligence and doesn't know how to parent her children without intervention from the system. Of course, this isn't the case, and Ben and Ray are aware of the true situation. It's heartbreaking watching her when her children are taken away.
The bathroom scene is priceless, one of the funniest from any of the seasons. The parade of Vecchios in and out of the room never fails to makes me laugh. It's noisy and hectic but throughout it all, Ben remains his usual calm self. It surprises me that Ray doesn't lock the door knowing what his family is like, but it also amazes me that everyone barges in like that's the norm in their household, and it probably is. Unlike his introduction to the Vecchio family in The Pilot, Ben apparently is no longer bewildered by their behavior.
Observations:Ray always seems to have such trouble climbing fences but he has no difficulty at all scaling the side of the dumpster after Ben finds parasites on him.
When Ray asks Lt. Welsh if his wife shops at Petit's, Welsh doesn't say yes, so maybe he doesn't actually have a wife, and Ray's question was worded in a such a way as to get a reaction out of him. I'm sure this is just another storyline inconsistency, but it would certainly explain why he's dating a few episodes later without any further reference to his marital status.
Favorite Moments:Ben applying dairy food to his body. In contrast, sticking his nose in the meat is gross but he does look funny with it stuck there.
Ray and Ben in the dumpster.
The already mentioned bathroom scene, especially the individual encounters between Ben and various members of the Vecchio clan, and Tony wondering what it takes to become a Mountie.
Ray and the Duck Boys getting nasty with each other.
Lt. Welsh constructing one of his famous sandwiches. Is he in the middle of the squadroom? It's hard to tell.
Ray and the horse patty man. Zaleb turns out to be quite the entrepreneur.
Ray talking about Barnaby Jones and how you can always tell the bad guy because he's played by that actor you see a lot.
Ray walking Dief and impatiently prodding him to do his business. I love his expressions in this ep. Is Ray eating a Hostess cupcake?
Dief sleeping in the bed while Ben sleeps on the floor.
Ben and Stephanie's 5:00 a.m. conversation and Ben smacking his head on the window.
The horse ride through downtown (though the streets shouldn't be that deserted) and Ben waiting for the lights to change.
Ray coming to the rescue just as Leggett is about to shoot Ben, and cutting off the end of the shotgun with a meat saw.
Ben telling Leggett he should be nicer to animals while Dief has him pinned to the floor.
The brief appearance of Dennis at the end of the show. Some very subtle changes in him since we saw him in Free Willie.
Duesies:Ben: Check that container there.
Ray: Why? If they wanted to hide something, they wouldn't have just dumped it in here.
Ben: Well, perhaps not this time, but garbage has a history, Ray. It always leaves something behind.
Ray: Yeah, and most of it seems to be on me. You know what really annoys me? Why am I covered in crud and you look like you just got back from a hand laundry?
Ben: I don't know. I've always been this way.Ray: These things wash off, right?
Ben: Parasites? Yes, of course. Although there is always the chance that they laid eggs.
Ray: More soap! Give me more soap!
Ben: But I don't think so. Most parasites live only on particular hosts.
Ray: What, I wasn't gracious enough? I should have offered them canapes?Mrs. Vecchio: Oh, I hope you like spaghetti and meatballs.
Ben: Well, if you made it, Mrs. Vecchio, I'm sure it will be delicious.
Ray: Ma, you wanna get out of the bathroom?
Mrs. Vecchio: He's such a baby.
Ray: It's because I'm wet.Ben: In fact, Ray, the only animal I've ever seen this on... It was horsemeat, Ray.
Mrs. Vecchio: I don't know. These meatballs don't seem quite right.I don't know if it's the oregano or the garlic. What's missing?
Ben: Beef.Ray: You're off in 30 seconds, let's go. Okay, let's do this your way. Old Zaleb came through for us. He remembers detecting some very subtle changes in the horse manure at a particular plant. Do you want to hear which one? Do the words Barnaby Jones mean anything to you? 5, 4, 3. . .
Ben: No matter what you say, you cannot base an investigation on a theory developed from the casting of a television series.
Ray: You're just mad because I was right.
Ben: No, I'm not mad, it just doesn't make any sense.
Ray: Oh, and putting horse meat on your nose does?
Ben: Well, that was different.
Ray: You're telling me.Ray: I'm gonna freeze to death inside My Friend Flicka.
Dief Moment:Stealing Ray's jelly donut even though, according to Ben, he doesn't like donuts.
Keepership:Ray's sneakers.
Grade: B.
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