Divine Secrets of the Igor's Sisterhood
The far end of the bar is the prime real estate at Igor’s. Its at the large end of the slightly ‘s’ shaped bar. This is where the bartenders usually cool their’ heels when not actively serving.
The male regulars park here most often. Sometimes I call it the “Batchelor Row”. Being a junior member of the regulars I mostly listened to the other old Lions spin tall tales. Most stories were of past glories. Fortunes we had made, women we have romanced, the usual male banter and chest pounding.
One odd Wednesday there were no other lions about. The lionesses held court as I sat quietly closer to the middle of the bar. KK was bartending that night. She’s an Aussie expatriate that found life in New Orleans much more exciting. It is rumored that she once held up a six foot 200 pound felon that was trying to steal a patron’s coat.
KK has the uncanny ability to re-start the crowd just when the mob begins to lose interest. Her favorite ploy is to whip up a batch of shooters just when we are about to leave. Of course it is impolite to ‘drink and run’. Her sister and fellow bartender prefers to start playing upbeat tunes on the jukebox to wake everyone back up.
As I sat near the lionesses I began to listen closely. The oddest thing (oddest to a male) was their lack of bragging and boasting! When they did discuss the opposite sex, there was an air of objectivity and matter of fact ness. Nothing was built up to add color. But I tell you it was far from boring!
I had spent hours upon hours of listening to the same stories us guys tell each other. We secretly know its all crap. But that would take the fun out of our twisted fellowship.
Sitting there listening to the lionesses assess the world was refreshing. They always stayed in present tense. The only time they talked of past events was to set the context of the main point.
When I finally spoke up and pointed out these differences, they paused a moment. They were looking at me like a master looks at a novice. Leila answered me with a simple, “You mean you’ve never noticed this before?”
Bewildered I said, “No, not really.”
The youngest lioness, Lexi added, “We don’t have time for that crap! The past is the past, move on.”
That was the night I discovered the Divine Secrets of the Igor’s Sisterhood!
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