What NOT to do during Mardi Gras

Igor’s had a decent cook that hailed from Kentucky. A middle aged dirty blonde that had dreams of leaving New Orleans to star in porno movies.

None of us had the gumption to ask him why or what qualifications he had to do porn. Some things are better left alone.

The first year Kentucky was in New Orleans he hadn’t figured out all of the rules. The most important one was don’t mess with the cops! Especially the cops with four legs.

Early one evening Kentucky was cruising around Bourbon Street seeing the sites. Probably looking for an opportunity to audition.

Watching over the mass of Mardi Gras revelers was a pair of mounted policemen. One was a cute female with strong legs wrapped around her horse.

Kentucky could not resist a chick that loved horses! He strolled over and started mindless chitchat with the policewoman. “Move along, sir” was all the reaction he got.

Undaunted, Kentucky reached out and started stroking the horse’s muzzle, hoping she would get the drift that he was a sex machine. She didn’t care. “Sir, do not touch the horse! Move along!”

He replied, “Oh that’s okay, I’m from Kentucky. I grew up around horses.”

In a classic mounted police movement, she whipped the horse around and had Kentucky’s arm bent backwards over the saddle.

Kentucky had that nut shrinking feeling when the handcuffs slapped around his wrist. He missed the rest of Mardi Gras for ‘assaulting a police officer’.

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