What Are You Trying to Say? (Thanks to Kelly for this!) :-) |
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Drew: “......it’s really good. It’s called ‘What are you trying to say?’” Ryan: “Uh-oh.” Drew: “In this game (chuckles), in this game Ryan and Colin are gonna be, uh, two easily offended guys who, uh, keep taking offence at what the other person says. It’s called ‘What are you trying to say?‘. The scene is, Colin, you’re being fitted for a suit by Ryan. Take it away whenever you’re ready.” R: Aaaaalright, let me just get that last measurement on your side there. C: Thank you, you know I, I, I need this for the, uh, the wedding. R: Okay, well I should.... C: I need it really quickly. R: Uh, it could take about a week to do. C: It could take a week? R: Mmm-hmm. C: So, what are you trying to say? Are you trying to say that I’m so big, my bum is so big you need to order to various countries far away to get enough material to make a pair of pants so I can fit my incredibly obese buttocks, into a pair of your “specially made” little suit?!?!!! R: No, I mean I’m the only one workin’ here this week. C: Oh, okay. Oh, that would be great. R: Mmm-hmm. C: You know, I was just wondering about the color, it seems kinda dark. I wonder if I could have a lighter color, maybe a light blue or...something... R: (becomes increasingly insulted) Oh, so, so what are you trying to say? You’re saying I don’t know colors? I don’t know anything about suits? What, I just came off the street??? I was some unemployed guy begging for money on the corner and they threw me in her to try to fit people?! You don’t think I know anything about suits?!?!? ‘Oh, no let’s go to that color’. Is that what you’re saying??!!!!!! C: So you think the dark then? R: Well, I think the dark.... C: Okay, well I’ll go with the dark I think, uh, I’m sorry, I uh... R: Okay, well I, uh, thought we’d, uh, put a double-breasted on ya I think it would look better. C: (gets an insulted look on his face) What are you saying? Are you saying ‘double-breasted’ because I should be wearing some ‘Milk Duds’ or something? Because I happened to...weigh a little more when I was younger and then lost some weight, that I’m a little stretchy in the nipple area and so that my breasts flap like to large windsocks flapping in the wind??...even though there’s no wind! ...and I should have something to keep my breasts in so they don’t burst out and poke peoples eyes out??!!!! IS THAT WHAT YOU’RE TRYING TO SAY????!!!! (Colin said this all in one breath and, by now, is quite out of breath) R: No, I, I, I’m just sayin’ they’re on sale this week. C: (excitedly) Oh really? How much? R: $38.99 C: How much? $38.99? Oh, well, I’ll have that then. Alright, I’ll take that. So, I have the suit, I have the shoes, maybe a nice hat? A nice hat with a....well a nice ribbon, maybe a handkerchief? R: (increasingly annoyed) What are you trying to say? What are you trying to say ‘Oh, hey, I’m a guy who can wear a hat.’? Eeh? ‘Oh, look at the tall freak, probably can’t fit a hat on that big, huge melon of his!’? Is that what you’re sayin’? It’s gonna slip down over my head and down my little scrawny neck onto my shoulders, and I’ll look like some cartoon character out of a Warner Brothers??!!!! IS THAT WHAT YOU’RE TRYING TO SAY????!!!!!!!! C: Yeah, actually, that’s uh, I was... THE END |
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