~ello every1!! Hmmm, not sure what to say… cos am not sure how many of you read this anymore, haha! Can’t say I blame you… am really hating this fic now, lol, it’s getting on my nerves!!! But have gotta get it done, lol, cos am sooo close! And may get better eventually *cough*. Neways, by complete contradiction (lmao) this is actually one of my fave chappies in the whoooolllle fic, that have done so far, lol. Cos it iiiiiis! Haha. Hope u like it.~

Chapter 13

Oh no… what the hell is he calling me for?! Elisabeth thought, deeply cringing inside. And now Becky’s grin of ‘oh my God you’re going out!’ stretched from ear to ear, and she daren’t even look at Steve. What’s he gonna think when his best friend is phoning me? He must be thinking so many questions… oh hell, hell, hell.

I should’ve given Paul my mobile number, she thought. Or just told him not to phone me.

What does he want?!

“Liz hun, don’t keep him waiting!” Becky giggled, all excited, thinking her best friend was having a relationship with her boyfriend’s best friend.

Ha- how ironic, Elisabeth thought, when ‘she’s’ really having a relationship with your boyfriend.

Elisabeth silently cursed under her breath, and putting her book to the side, she reluctantly rose from the sofa and walked past the ecstatic Becky into the hall and saw the phone waiting for her.

Oh… hell.

Paul was on the other end of that line; she would have to talk to him again… ughh. At least you can’t see him- be grateful for that, Elisabeth.

She sighed, and picked the receiver up and tentatively held it up over her ear.

“H-H-Hello?”

“Elisabeth?”

She shuddered- she couldn’t help it.

“Hey Paul,” she said meekly.

“Hiii… am I interrupting?” He asked.

“Um… no,” she replied, fidgeting. Oh God, who was she kidding? Of course he was! He had to phone when Steve was over here, he had to have Becky pick up the phone and start assuming things about us…

I have to get off the phone as soon as I can, she thought to herself.

“Watcha up to?” He asked, seeming to want some small talk.

“Erm…” God, Paul wasn’t the average person she talked to. It’s not as if he knew anything about her.

“Jus- just reading,” she thought spontaneously.

“Reading? Really? Watcha reading?” He asked, interested.

He sounds so different on the phone, she realised. Without the face, the eyes… he’s like almost normal. He sounds so innocent.

“Erm… it’s a book called Lightning,” she said distractedly, twizzling her fingers around the cord as she kept taking nervous glances back to the dining room. She couldn’t see Becky and Steve from here, but she knew they were talking about her. Talking about her and Paul.

“Lighning?! By whom?!” His voice grew more excited for some reason.

“Erm… erm…” She wasn’t really listening, her ears were burning too much. What the hell would Becky be telling Steve about her and Paul?

“Dean Koontz?” He threw in.

She turned around, concentrated on the conversation, and more importantly, what Paul had just said.

“You’ve read it?” She asked, impressed he was right.

He laughed. “He’s one of my favourite authors!”

Oh my God, me too! Elisabeth thought, amazed. Trust us both to like the same writer!

“I’ve never known someone to like Dean Koontz like me!” Paul said on the other end, sounding like he’d found the gold pot at the end of the rainbow and it had been full of Fosters Six packs.

“He’s… really good,” Elisabeth said slowly, thinking, I’m talking about books to Paul.

“He’s fantastic! Have you read The Watchers?” Paul asked her.

“No,” she said, shaking her head.

“Oh, you have to! It’s my favourite book! I’ll lend you it, sometime.”

“Erm… sure,” she said. Just tell me whatever the hell you wanna tell me and go! She pleaded in her head.

“Erm… so… so how are you doing?” He asked her, on a more serious note.

“I’m fine,” she said quickly. Too quickly. Paul wasn’t that stupid.

“You… sure?” He checked.

“Paul, I’m fine,” she slightly snapped at him, and by his response, she instantly regretted it.

“I’m sorry.”

“No! No! Don’t be sorry… sorry, I’m sorry!” She quickly said.

He laughed. “That’s a lotta sorrys.”

“I just…” She caught her breath. ‘It’s just…” Oh for God sake Elisabeth, just tell him.

“… Steve’s here,” she said.

“Ohhh,” said Paul, changing tone. “Am I interrupting…?”

“No! No, God, no. You’re not,” Elisabeth almost cried quickly, emphasizing that she and Steve weren’t up to anything. “Becky’s here.”

“Ohhh… right,” Paul said, pausing. Then he asked, “are you alright?”

Elisabeth felt like bursting into tears when he said that. Of course she wasn’t alright. She felt panicked, nervous, worried, scared.

“No,” she said croakily, a lump forming in her throat.

Paul immediately took up his ‘confidante’ role. “What’s the matter?” He asked, concerned.

She couldn’t speak for a few seconds, the emotion was all getting too much for her. And it was such a silly thing for her to be worried about. Something she definitely couldn’t talk to Paul about, because it was too stupid and embarrassing.

But it was getting to her really badly. So badly she was almost crying. She’d never felt so worried about anything in her life before. And she couldn’t find a way out of it, that’s why it was so scary… it was out of her control.

The only control she had would just destroy all the happiness she felt inside.

“Elisabeth?” Paul asked gently.

On the other end of the line, she could hear a strong rustling sound; a hissing. Sounds and background noises that gave away Paul was traveling.

Driving?

“Are you driving your car?” She suddenly asked him.

He was thrown by her change of subject for a second, then he said, “oh! Erm… no, don’t worry about it, it’s fine.”

“Where are you?” She asked, intrigued.

“Erm… just… in a car… so, you want to talk?” He asked quickly.

He sounded uncomfortable, she could sense it already: like there was something he was keeping from her. Mysteriousness again, she thought. It never, ever goes away.

“Erm… not really,” she answered.

Were there other people in that car with him? Overhearing their conversation?

“Is something going on with Steve?” He asked.

Just that name stirred up all of these emotions again. It was like a secret password for an emotional breakdown, or something.

When she didn’t say anything, he immediately picked up on it.

“What’s happened?” He asked her. Then his tone changed to almost angry, “he hasn’t called it off, has he?!”

“Nooo,” she answered him. “Nooo, course not.”

“Oh.”

“You wanted him to?” She immediately jumped.

“I didn’t say that,” Paul defended himself firmly. “So tell me what’s the matter.”

She sighed, knowing she’d end up telling him anyway. She had to tell somebody or she was going to go mad. And Paul was the only one she could turn to.

She made her way to the stairs and sat down on the lowest step, holding the phone tightly to her, holding Paul tightly to her. She settled in her new seat, ready for the conversation ahead, and she just hoped she was doing the right thing.

“Becky’s going away for the weekend,” she told him.

“Aaaand…?”

She sighed. He didn’t get it. “And that means…” She was suddenly aware of the content of the conversation, and where she was. She hushed her voice. “Steve’s coming over.”

“Ohhhhh,” said Paul slowly, suddenly realising what was going on.

“Yeah, and so…” She trailed off, deeply embarrassed.

She didn’t talk about sex with anyone; well, Becky would talk about it to her, but she never discussed it. What was there to discuss? She was a virgin; Becky wasn’t- simple as that.

But Paul… Paul was different. For one: Paul was a guy. He was also not a virgin, she could just tell that by… well, okay, she just knew. It’d be too surreal and weird if he was. He was also still a stranger to her. She didn’t know him well enough to talk… to talk to him about that.

She blushed even thinking about it.

“Well- aren’t you pleased?” He asked her.

Pleased?!!!!

“Huh?!” She asked, voice shrill, confused. Okay, why would she be pleased?! She was sure he knew she was a virgin too… and yet he expected her to be excited about losing her virginity?!!

She was God damn scared!!

“Yeah- pleased. No Becky to get in the way… you can have him all to yourself,” Paul explained his logic.

He didn’t get it yet, did he? Didn’t understand.

“Erm… I guess,” she said. “But-“

“Doesn’t Becky suspect anything?” Paul interrupted.

“No… no, she doesn’t,” Elisabeth said.

Paul laughed. “Steve never ceases to amaze me,” he chuckled to himself.

“You think I’m a total sucker,” Elisabeth sighed. Why was she even bothering with this guy?

“I do not!” He laughed. “You can’t help but fall for his charms! Hell, even I would!”

She raised her eyebrows at that, and it was like he could see her do so, because he quickly added, “if I was a girl of course!” And then started laughing really hard at himself.

God, he’s weird, Elisabeth thought to herself, but the laugh was contagious, and she couldn’t help but laugh, too.

“So come on, Elisabeth,” he grinned. “Tell me what’s worrying your pretty little head.”

“We-“ She started, but then suddenly stopped.

Had he just called her… ‘pretty’?

She narrowed her eyebrows. “Did you just say I was pretty?”

“Who- me?” He said.

“Yes- you!”

“Erm… maybe… but hell, I’m pretty, too. Everyone’s pretty. I’m generalising, sweetheart!” He said proudly.

“Don’t call me ‘sweetheart’!” She whined. “You make me sound like I’m 12!”

“Okay, okay,” he laughed. “And you can stop avoiding the subject and tell me why you’re really so worried about this weekend.”

She returned to her embarrassed state of mind again; she really didn’t like telling Paul this…

“I-I’m just really, really nervous about it, that’s all,” she said.

“And why’s that?” He asked, concerned.

She felt herself flushing red. Ararghhh… sooo embarrassing. But she couldn’t get out of it now.

“Um… it’s… well… he wants to stay the night,” she quickly said it, and then drew breath, scared to what his reaction to that was going to be. Whether she would have embarrassed him, too.

But all he seemed to change was his words. “And…?”

God- he was slow tonight!

“He wants to stay the night with me, Paul!” She said, trying not to be too loud, but she couldn’t stop her frustration coming through; that he wasn’t realising the reason for her anxiety and her panicking at the whole situation.

“Ohhh I see,” Paul said, finding her wavelength. “I can see why it’s a little different to the other times.”

She held her mouth open a little then, when he said that.

Erm… pardon?

“What… ‘other times’?” She asked him hesitantly, wondering what the hell he was going on about.

“You know…” Now he was getting embarrassed! “…the other times you’ve slept with him.”

“The WHAT?” She cried, unable to hide her anger and surprise.

How the hell could Paul assume that about her? Think that she’s slept with Steve?!!

“Elllliiisabettthhh,” Paul ticked off softly. “Don’t shout at me!”

Ohhh, I’ll bloody well shout at you, you dirty sod, she thought.

“How can you think I’ve-“ She suddenly hushed her voice, aware Becky and Steve- STEVE!- could probably hear her.

“How could you think I’ve slept with Steve?!” She hissed angrily at him.

There was a silence on the other end of the line.

A long silence.

“You haven’t slept with him?”

“Of courrrrrrrse I haven’t I slept with him!” She snapped angrily. “I haven’t-“ She stopped, and then said more ashamedly, “I haven’t slept with anyone.”

“B-Bu- St-“ Paul seemed confused and was spluttering. “B-B-B-“

“But what? You think I’m bloody easy, do you?” She demanded.

“Steve told me that he’d slept with you!” Paul said earnestly.

She raised her eyebrows- another silencing comment.

“He what?!!”

“He told me he’d slept with you!!” Paul said, trying to sort his story out. “I mean… I mean, he told me he’s been sleeping with you! You mean to say he hasn’t?”

“No way!” Elisabeth replied hastily. “I-I-“ She lowered her voice again. “I’m not ready yet.”

“Man, he lied to me!” Paul sounded completely astounded.

Elisabeth just couldn’t believe it. Steve telling Paul about their relationship was one thing, but then claiming he’d slept with her in the process?!…

“Did he really say that?” She asked, hesitantly.

“Yes! Of course he did! And I believed him! God- how stupid,” Paul muttered to himself.

Elisabeth didn’t know what to say. What to feel.

She was so… so shocked.

Why was Steve lying about their relationship like that?

“Oh God, I’m sorry- you must think I’m a total tosser,” Paul apologised, but she cut him off by saying,

“no... it’s okay… but… I h-haven’t, Paul. But he wants to.”

“This weekend?”

“Yeah,” she nodded, and barely whispering she added, “and I’m really scared.”

“You don’t want to sleep with him?”

“I’m not ready,” she told him. “I’m sure I’m not. I mean, part of me wants to- kinda get the first time over and done with, and then another’s just waiting for the right moment to come along and the right person, and by doing it- what, tomorrow- I’d just feel too rushed and pressurized… and oh my God, I’ll just shut up now, ‘cos this is really embarrassing and I can’t talk to you about this!”

“Of course you can talk to me about this,” he soothed. “You can talk to me about anything… you know you can.”

“But not this! It’s waaay too personal, and besides… it’s not as if you can help,” she sighed.

No-one could help her problems- not even Paul.

“I can give you advice,” he offered.

“Yeah? And what’s that?”

“That you don’t let him force you into doing anything you don’t want to. If you’re not ready, then that’s not his problem. You know Elisabeth, just because you’re new to all this relationship stuff doesn’t mean you have to let him run everything, make all the decisions.”

“If I don’t sleep with him, Paul, he’ll leave me. I’m sure he will.”

“Well then.”

“Well then… what?”

“It’s up to you.”

“You just want him to leave me!” She said. “You’re like, willing it to happen!”

“I never said that.”

“Yeah, but you might as well have!”

“Elisabeth- it’s a big step, a big thing to give away. Make sure you’re sure you want to give it to Steve.”

She sighed. God, she didn’t know. She just didn’t know.

Steve could be like, ‘the one’. Steve could be the only guy she was ever with. The guy she spent the rest of her life with; it was plausible to think that. Sleeping with him, giving her virginity to him, could be so, so special.

Yet… Steve could be wrong. Steve could do all the things Paul said he’d do… hurt her, use her, dump her… Steve could mess her around. Sleeping with him could be the biggest mistake she’d ever make in her life.

“Follow you heart,” Paul suddenly spoke up. “That’s the best thing to do- do what your heart tells you to do.”

Damn him for being right, she cursed.

“ ‘Follow your heart’?! What are you- bloody Dear Deirdre?” Came a young, high male voice from nowhere.

Elisabeth almost jumped.

It was from Paul’s line.

“Ben- piss off,” Paul muttered angrily at him.

“Heathrow- 2 minutes!” The voice warned back at him.

“Whatever,” Paul muttered back. “I’m on the phone.” He turned his attention back to her. “Just… be careful Elisabeth, okay? I don’t want to see you getting hurt.”

She smiled then; a real smile. He cared for her so much.

“Promise?” He said.

“I promise.”

“Good,” he breathed, relieved. “God damn Steve, can’t believe he lied about you.”

“You’re going to the airport?” Elisabeth butted in, intrigued also by this ‘Ben’.

That caught Paul off guard. “Oh- um- yeah,” he said.

Again, he sounded uncomfortable.

“Are you… going away?” She asked hesitantly, kinda surprised she felt so nervous at him doing so.

“Erm… not really,” he said, awkwardly. “Just… stuff.”

Okaaaaaaaay Mr Vague, she thought. Mr Mysterious... Be like that!

“I guess I better go,” he said reluctantly.

“Yeah- you have a plane to catch!” She grinned.

“Erm… yeah,” he said. “Listen- don’t let him take advantage of you, Elisabeth. You deserve so much better than him. Next time I see him, I am so gonna kick him in the balls-“

She laughed at that image. “Thanks Paul.”

“Okay,” he said. “I’ll… call you?”

“Yes- that’d be nice,” she said shyly.

“Cool. I… I want to know what happens,” he said slowly.

“Perv!” She grinned.

‘Hey!” He cried back, but laughed. “You know what I mean. Talk to you soon.”

“Yeah… hey!” She stopped him before he went. “Who’s Ben?”

“Ben?” He paused. And thought. “Ben’s my… brother. Okay Elisabeth, gotta go, byeeee!”

“Bye,” she said, half-smile on her face, and she heard him switch off.

“Brother?” Ben looked at Paul bemused. “What is she? An Air stewardess?”

“Fuck off Ben and mind your own business!” Paul snapped back, as the Mercedes stopped.

“Ooooh, touch-eeee!” Ben laughed. “I won’t mention another word.”

“Good,” Paul said, putting his phone away, clearly still thinking about the person he’d had the conversation with.

Ben grinned. “Elisabeth.”

“BEN!” Paul cried at him, and threw the empty drinks bottle, narrowly avoiding Ben’s grinning face.

Elisabeth just sat there on the bottom stair a little while longer, dangling the still purring phone in her hands, thinking about Paul and what he’d said.

Follow your heart… oh great; her heart was telling her to sleep with him!! It was her head… and probably her conscience that was saying, no- stay away!

Should she sleep with him then? Go the whole way?

“Again,” she muttered to herself, still unable to believe Steve had boasted about bedding her to Paul. I wonder why he did that, she thought. An ego thing?

She turned her attentions back to Paul and the whole phone call. He’d been really sweet on the phone. Really sweet. She was relaxed talking to him.

Sooo much better without the eyes, she thought.

But still… he remained mysterious. Vague. Strange.

She laughed to herself at his awkwardness on the phone.

Ben was sooo not his brother. She could tell that straight away.

Then who was he? She wondered. And what was Paul doing catching a plane on a Thursday night with him? Where were they going?

“Stuff” had been Paul’s reply.

‘Stuff’- yeah, right.

She sighed heavily as she stood up, and made her way to the phone and re-connected the receiver, wondering about Paul, trying to read him. But he was not an open character!

She stood there in the silence, almost wondering what to do next.

Oh, hell. She had to go into the lounge again!! Becky and Steve were in there- oh no; here comes the inquisition!

She really, really didn’t want to go back in there. Really didn’t- but they’d know she was off the phone now, ‘cos she’d stopped talking. And want to see her. She couldn’t just sneak off upstairs- which was sooo God damn tempting…

Plus- she’d left her book in there and she wanted it.

Ohhh… just go Elisabeth, she thought tiredly. Just ignore them.

Coughing, she almost marched into the lounge, quickly, intending to grab her book, say goodnight and just go.

But it wasn’t that easy; was never that easy.

“Well, well, well… 45 minutes later and lotsa lovey-dovey ‘let’s keep this relationship secret’ talk later, and she emerges!” Becky announced as soon as she walked in, making her cringe.

Not looking up she said, “hi Becky.”

“Hellloooo… thought the phone had eaten ya!” She grinned. “Or maybe Paul…”

Elisabeth sighed. Ignore, ignore, ignore, she told herself and she headed for the sofa, and her book.

“So! Why’d he call? Tell us what’s going on- we’re very interested!” Becky said.

“There’s nothing to tell,” she replied flatly.

“Liiiiiiiiiiiz!! Don’t say that! Why’d he phone?!”

“To… talk,” Elisabeth deflected.

“About?” Becky pressed.

“Nothing.” Elisabeth treated it the same way.

“Huuun! You were on the phone for a bloody 45 minutes! You must have talked about something!”

“We talked about…” Elisabeth searched, searched for anything she could say.

“Reading!” She said, inspired, snatching her book up. Well, it was kinda true…

“Reading?”

She looked up at the two of them for the first time since she’d entered the room.

Becky was looking at her all puzzled at the fact they’d talked about ‘literacy’; but Steve… Steve was just staring at her with just one question in his eyes:

… why the hell did Paul phone you?

Why the hell did you tell Paul I’d slept with you?! She cried at him back.

“So… you’ve spent 45 minutes talking to him about… books?” Becky looked perplexed.

Elisabeth almost giggled. “Yup!” She said. “And now I’m going to bed. So- goodnight you two!” And she headed for the door.

“Hey!! Hey, wait a minute young lady!!” Becky called after her immediately, making her halt. “When are you going out?!”

“Pardon?” Elisabeth replied in the doorway.

“When are you and Paul going out?” She repeated.

Elisabeth gave her a lip smile. “We’re not going out, Becky. There’s nothing going on between us. Now goodnight.”

And then she disappeared upstairs.

~heya!! Just wanna take this opportunity to say that nxt Friday, as a xmas-y special thing, am updating all three of my fics- this one, LTD, and the infamous Purple- all at once!! Hehe!! Thought that might be quite coolies… and am so glad every1’s still tlking to me- wahooo! Happy xmas, and hope you all have a safe new year! Kate xxx~