He grinned back at her, his whole presence dominating the doorway, relief flooding through Elisabeth like a wave over sand, she stared back dumfounded, feelings still unstirred within her.
“Hello!” He grinned, his perfect set of white teeth
showing, his skin looked so tanned today. “Did I wake you up?”
“No… no… it’s okay,” she replied, still in a state of
shock, but normality beginning to rejuvinate.
“Ahhhh, thought I had- you know some people like their
Sunday morning lie-ins!” He grinned again, his velvety brown eyes twinkling
happily. He looked so full of life and joy stood there. It was as if he was in
the sun, and then the dark cloud cast itself over the house, and her.
What a contrast.
She held the handle tightly. “What are you doing here,
Paul?” She asked, trying to sound polite. She remembered the way she’d
interrogated him last time.
“I came to bring you this, actually.” He brought his hand
up to show her a book he held in his hand.
Elisabeth stared at it a moment oddly, like it was a
foreign object or something. She looked at the title, and then that jogged some
memories deep inside of her. The Watchers, Dean Koontz…
He laughed, a little embarrassed. “I just thought… well,
you know you said you were reading another book of his… I just thought that
you’d, erm, well, I thought I’d lend you this one.”
He came round to lend me a book?!
Elisabeth didn’t get it- she looked from the book back up
to Paul’s face, and he looked away from her shyly, as if realising the extreme weirdness
of the situation.
She better say something; she didn’t want him feeling
awkward.
“Thanks, that’s really nice.”
“It’s a brilliant book,” he said, as if trying to put some
‘coolness’ into his offer. “I really think you’d enjoy reading it.”
“I’m sure I will.”
There was a silence a moment as they stared away from each
other, and then made eye-contact. He laughed nervously, and gave her the book.
“Here- no rush to give it back.”
“Well I’m a fast reader anyway, I’ll probably get through
it in no time,” she smiled.
He nodded at her, and then the silence returned again.
Holding the book tightly, she felt torn in two over
reasons why he was here. Part of her was full of relief that it wasn’t Steve;
and then she was also pleased in a way to see Paul, because she needed his help
yet was afraid to ask for it. And then he still freaked her out, especially
when he was face-to-face to her. She could see his silver piercings catching
the sun occasionally, and just those eyes that looked at her, surveyed her,
they went right through her skin and she still felt really unnerved.
Especially when he just stood there saying nothing.
The fact that he was still here after giving her the book,
completing his purpose, already answered a question for Elisabeth.
“You didn’t just come here for that- did you Paul?” She
said.
He gave her a long stare, once she’d locked eyes with him
she couldn’t look away, she felt her skin warming as he did so, and little
shivers tickling her insides… something happened when he looked at her, but she
didn’t know what.
He looked at the floor. “No,” he confirmed.
Now at least he’d revealed that, she relaxed slightly- she
didn’t want for him to have just come round to lend her a book, anyway.
He looked back up at her. “I wanted to see you,” he
said, looking concerned like a friend. “See how you were doing. The book was
just an excuse.”
That touched her, it really did. That he cared for her so
much.
“So you okay?” He asked gently, asking the key question
straight out.
“No,” she said dejectedly, looking agitated.
“Can I come in?” He asked, and she just nodded and stood
aside to let him do so.
She really needed this talk with Paul.
They went into the lounge, memories of last night flashing
through her mind as she purposely made her way to avoid the sofa.
Paul sat down on it though, and even though it looked like
she was avoiding him, she just couldn’t bear to be anywhere near it, and
so sat on the armchair.
Okay- now what? Did she tell Paul everything about what
went on last night? In graphic, full detail?!!
She contemplated what she was going to say a moment, and
she let herself think about it thoroughly for the first time since it had
happened.
And it all slowly came back to her…
“What are those?” Paul suddenly said.
She looked up to see him gesturing his head towards the
table, and she turned her head and saw the bunch of yellow and white carnations
still delicately placed there, untouched since she’d let go of them.
They sent a stinging feeling to her hands and then her
chest, and she looked away as it hurt.
“Flowers,” she said simply
“From who?”
“Steve.”
“Were they for you?” he looked at her, and she looked
back, feeling really guilty and a little scared. “Yeah,” she replied, and
looked down.
“Charming you with flowers now is he?” Paul smirked a little.
Elisabeth burst into tears.
She couldn’t help it, and she couldn’t stop the floodgates
when they suddenly came. Everything was just so hard; keeping it all inside,
what she’d been through and trying to stay calm and strong with it all.
Sometimes you went a little mad, and sometimes you cried.
It was just a way of releasing emotion.
Paul looked really uncomfortable when she started crying.
He was sat a few feet away from her, and she’d just put her head into her hands
and she sounded so upset. He didn’t appear to know what to do; he hadn’t
expected her to react like this. And he still barely knew her, so he felt
uncomfortable. But he cared for her loads, so he couldn’t just leave her there
pouring her eyes out whilst he sat on the other side of the room mumbling a few
helpless words of advice.
Elisabeth didn’t care that there was someone in the same
room as her; she’d still cry- it was just time.
Paul got up slowly, and went over to the armchair and
crouched down in front of her. He eyed her worriedly a moment, analysing just
how messed-up she looked and somewhere deep inside that really hurt- he
couldn’t bear it.
He cautiously put his hands onto her wrists to see if she
was willing to free her eyes, but when he touched her, she jumped in fright,
surprised he was there, and then when he put is hand on hers it felt strange,
odd, all this electricity rush through her, causing her to flinch back.
She was already upset enough, she didn’t need the extra
hassle of weirdo Paul comforting her.
Okay, that was a nasty thought. Paul isn’t weird, he’s
just trying to help, she told herself.
“Elisabeth?”
She looked up at him uneasily, her breathing all ragged
and haphazard; heart beating away as she saw how near he was and her soul
didn’t like it.
“I’m not going to hurt you.”
She looked back at him hard, eyes blinking a bit, making
her vision go all blurry as it mixed with the tears that were still slowly
dripping down her face. She saw in his eyes, a long, long way off, just how
concerned he looked for her, how much he cared seemed to give him a golden
shine that just shone around his body like an aura glow and for a moment there
she felt safe around him, even though his outwardly appearance gave the
impression that he was going to mug her, his emotions from inside eased her a
bit by bit, and she felt the tears drying up.
He forced a small smile at her, and touched her again. She
flinched by habit; but she forced herself to adapt to the change.
The good change.
“Tell me why you’re crying,” he insisted softly.
Now his caring devotion was beginning to flow from the
point they connected all the way through her body, she knew how much he wanted
to help, and she knew how much she needed to be helped.
Elisabeth told him everything.