It all started like a normal day.
Work during the day- that was becoming increasingly nauseous- everyday the room she worked in seemed to enclose her more and more, and she knew she was in the wrong place. But she persevered; having nothing else, and this week had been like any other: non-eventful, unchallenging and about as interesting as snail racing. But at least it was the end of the week now, and she could look forward to the weekend; not because she got to spend some quality time with herself, as so often had been the reason, but because she got to spend more time with Steve. Okay- Becky wasn’t going anywhere this weekend and they had less opportunities than the ones she’d spurned last weekend, but it was still free time, and there’d be more chances to be alone with him now than at any other time during the week.
But Elisabeth was finding her time with Steve even more frustrating. When she did get to be alone with him, she always felt like she was having to be better than Becky. Impress him more, make her the favourite. And then she was also constantly on awares that they could be caught; although, and worryingly for Elisabeth, the prospect of exposure didn’t seem so bad as first thought.
In fact, if they were found out to be having a relationship behind Becky’s back, then that would get Becky out of the way and she could have Steve all to herself.
But those were really horrible thoughts! Really nasty. It was as if she didn’t care about her best friend anymore, and that Steve was now everything. Scarily though, that was almost true- Steve did mean a great lot to her, and she wondered how and when, he’d overtaken Becky in the importance scale.
But suddenly somehow: Steve, and being with Steve officially seemed like her deepest and most prominent desire.
Now everytime she witnessed Becky and Steve together- kissing, cuddling, being intimate, a couple; rage and jealousy boiled up inside of her like red hot magma does beneath the earth’s surface and the volcano- the eruption of all that energy was not very far away.
It really hurt to see them together.
I wish that were me, she’d think sadly to herself, as she had done all week. I wish Becky would just disappear.
She wasn’t sure how she’d suddenly become so jealous. She hadn’t been anywhere near as protective and obsessive over Steve this time last week… in fact this time last week she’d been going out of her wits, knowing that he’d want to sleep with her that night.
She sighed. Sometimes she regretted not going through with it. She’d been so glad at first, but now that she was ‘back’ with Steve, it just seemed like this colossal mistake. He’d been right about the fairytales not coming true, and that in real life things were much harsher and direct- but now she accepted and acknowledged that, was it still too late to sleep with him?
She had a plan roughly forming in her head, as to how to replace Becky by his side. It wasn’t a very honest one, and it was pretty frightening, too. It would involve doing things that she never thought possible of herself- but there was also a bloody good chance it would work out. That made her feel better; like there’d be some kind of reward at the end of this ordeal: it excited her in a way too, she knew her plan was effective, and good.
But she knew one person who wouldn’t see the goodness in this plan at all. One person who strangely seemed to be holding her back from throwing herself into the opening stages of this plan.
Paul.
Paul was in the way a lot, actually. She hadn’t seen him since Tuesday when he’d left her abruptly like that, saying he couldn’t promise to be there for her if things went terribly wrong with Steve. I suppose it was selfish of her really, to expect him to pick up all of her broken pieces if it went wrong, when she knew how against he was at the idea of her and Steve being together.
And that annoyed her. She could do what she wanted to do- be with whoever she pleased! She didn’t have to listen to advice from Paul. He thought he was right all of the time, that was his problem. He thought he knew better than her just because… well, just because… maybe it was a guy thing. They always think they’re right about things, don’t they? When they’re completely wide of the mark.
Paul wasn’t in this relationship- she was; and she knew more about it than Paul did. It was up to her whether she… whether she…
Okay, time was passing faster than she first thought. The plan’s wheels were slowly beginning to turn and she didn’t remember turning the ignition on! Something inside of her wanting to get things moving… and fast.
Becky was going to be out tonight. She knew that for certain- she was going out clubbing with her friends. Where Steve was going to be, she had no idea- but she expected to see him at some point during the evening.
If Becky was out, and Steve wasn’t going with her… didn’t that mean they had the place to themselves for the night?
Oh my God, time was moving too fast! A little too fast. She wasn’t completely ready with her plan yet- she needed to go through it one more time, before it began. She’d have to be quick then, if it began tonight. She still felt unsure though; like when you’re about to step into a swimming pool for the first time- she felt she needed that extra push to get things rolling… but what was it?
Sitting at home later that night the washing up from dinner all done and the housework completed, she was in full digestion mode at about 6 o’clock, aimlessly watching the news… not that it mattered. Becky was upstairs getting ready for going out. The usual offer to come had been given to her, but Elisabeth had said no.
1) She hated clubbing, and
2) She hoped Steve was coming over, so instead of snatching a quick five minutes together they could have hour after hour after hour…
A double beep went off from the side of the room, interrupting her thoughts, and she gently eased her head up to see that it had come from her mobile phone on the side.
Ooooh wow- a text!
She got up off the sofa and went over to it, picked it up to see who the message was from.
Ohhhh, he was busy with a1 again. She shuddered- how could that guy be a popstar? It just didn’t make sense…
“Pornographic text message, hunny?” Becky’s voice came from behind her and Elisabeth’s heart leapt a second, before turning around to see her in the doorway, grinning, going through her purse.
“Um… no- just a text from Paul.”
Becky looked up again. “Pornographic text message, hunny?” She repeated.
Elisabeth frowned at her, and Becky laughed. “Never miiiind! He’s obviously very well- behaved around you, and just very rude with the rest of us!”
Elisabeth forced a smile and looked on at Becky, her thoughts turning back to tonight, and what was actually happening. But before she was about to speak, Becky stopped her.
“Look Liz- I know we haven’t properly talked about things with Paul yet… and I know I saw you two on Tuesday and you looked pretty close…”
Elisabeth remembered back to then, when they’d been heavily caught up in the moment, in a very serious conversation, and Becky had walked in and then quickly out again- on them. Again, it had been taken the wrong way. Elisabeth had been trying to avoid this talk ever since.
“We were just talking, Becky,” Elisabeth answered.
Becky gave her a look. “You sure? Your faces were pretty close…”
“Becky!” Elisabeth cut her off. “Me and Paul are just friends!”
“Close friends?”
“Fine- ‘close friends’,” Elisabeth sighed, not wanting to go into great depth about her relationship with Paul. It was complicated- all these emotions, feelings around him…
“Okay, I won’t mention another Paul-word!” Becky vowed, and went back to money checking.
Elisabeth breathed a sigh of relief. Now that little conversation was over with…
“So when are you going out tonight?” She asked Becky, getting things arranged in her head.
“Erm… well am picking Jules up in abouuuut… 15 minutes? Something like that, and then we’re going off to the club to meet Mich and Sal…” She observed Elisabeth a moment. “You sure you don’t wanna come, hunny? You’ve still got time to get ready.”
Elisabeth shook her head furiously. “No! No- that’s okay. It’s not really my scene.”
“Paul coming over?” Becky grinned, and then she gasped and put her hand over her mouth. “Ooops- Paul word!… sorry!”
Elisabeth gave her an ‘it’s okay’ smile. “No… he’s… out this weekend.” Becky still didn’t know the truth about Paul…
“Oh, alright then. So- you staying in?”
“Will do.”
“Hmmm… one day shall get you out,” Becky muttered to herself as she closed her purse and went in search of her bag.
Okay- it didn’t sound like Steve was going, Elisabeth thought to herself. And he must know Becky’s going out… but did that mean he’d turn up here? It still didn’t clarify much for her, and she had no way of getting in touch with Steve…
“Hmmmm, where’s my phone?” Becky called from the hallway. “Is it near yours?”
Elisabeth glanced back. “Um… no!” She called back.
“Damn, damn, damn,” Becky muttered loudly, and Elisabeth smiled bemused, and went to go help her look.
She was searching through all the coat and jacket pockets on the rack, but seeming to come to no avail.
“Ughhhh!” She groaned in frustration. “Where is it? I really need it!”
“I haven’t seen it,” Elisabeth added unhelpfully.
“I’m such a ditz!” Becky cursed, stopping a moment and thinking hard about its whereabouts.
“Take it upstairs?” Elisabeth suggested.
Becky’s eyes lit up. “Maaaaaybe… okay, be right back!” And she jogged up the stairs in her little purple top and black glittery hipsters and off into her bedroom.
Elisabeth remained at the foot of the stairs, finding herself idly wishing Becky would leave. Although she didn’t know what was coming after she left, what was going to happen, whether Steve was coming over… what?
Maybe she should have arranged something with him when she’d last seen him… Wednesday. That had been the last day she’d been in contact with him. Paul had phoned yesterday…
A sudden knock at the door resounded in Elisabeth’s right ear, and she turned to look at it, jilted.
Could that…? Was that…? Becky hadn’t even left yet!
She slowly made her way over to the door and opened it, revealing her worst fears, but yet her most longed for desires. The desires came through strongest though, and she grinned happily at him.
“Hey,” she greeted warmly. “Becky’s still here,” she warned him.
But he didn’t return her enthusiasm, or cordiality. He kept looking at her blank-faced before saying, “we need to talk.”
She’d been hoping for a better response than that. She kept going. “And then more?” She smiled. “Becky’s going out…”
“We just need to talk, okay Liz?” His voice seemed irritated; tired.
Elisabeth was immediately put on her guard. Something about him was different.
“Liiiiiz! Who was that at the door?” Becky’s voice called down from above, and Elisabeth quickly, to show no suspicious hidings, opened the door full view to show Steve standing there, on the doorstep, as he so often was.
“If it’s Jul-” She stopped at the top of the stairs when she saw Steve stood there, surprised at his unexpected visit. But then she smiled, and slowly started descending the stairs.
“Heya babe! What are you doing here? You know I’m going out tonight with the girls… girls night out, okay?! Strictly no boyfriends or such like allowed!” She giggled as she reached the same level as Elisabeth and Steve. Elisabeth managed to use the door as her shield and weapon against the two of them being together, which she was finding increasingly difficult to endure.
“Actually,” he said, taking her in his arms, making Elisabeth hastily look down, jealousy crept on her again… if only Becky would just leave and let them be alone…
“… I came to talk to Elisabeth.”
Her head shot up and she looked at him dazed- okay, had she just mis-heard that?! Why was he saying that to Becky?!
“Elisabeth?” Becky looked up at him with similar confusion.
“I need to talk to her about Paul,” he added, explaining further.
Paul?! Was this just a cover, or did he really want to talk to her about him? And if so, why?!
“Ohhhh,” Becky said, and then she looked up at him curiously, with a glint in her eye. Elisabeth recognised it- it was the ‘there is something going on, isn’t there?!’ look that was just so, so wrong. “I seeee!” She grinned. “Well, shall leave ya to it, then. I’m gonna be sooo late, and Jules will kill me.”
She reached up and gave Steve a quick, but lingering kiss, and then grabbing her coat she flashed Elisabeth a grin and said, “bye!” Before leaving the house, closing the door behind her, and the two were finally left alone.
Elisabeth looked up at him hesitantly, she wanted him to just take her in his arms and start the whole passion between them- but there was something bothering him, quite obviously.
“So… you really wanna talk about Paul?” She broke the silence.
“Yes,” he replied shortly, looking at her. and before she could gently ask why, he launched into full attack.
“What’s going on between you and Paul?!” He demanded, strongly.
Elisabeth blinked, taken aback a little bit. “H-H-Huh?!”
“What’s going on, between you and Paul?!” He repeated, still looking stern. “Are you with him?!”
Elisabeth’s jaw dropped slightly, and she looked at him amazed- amazed he’s think she wanted to be with anyone else.
“W-W… No!” She cried.
“Well, what’s going on then?!” He cried.
“Nothing!” She stressed, dumbfounded. “Nothing’s going on!”
“Then what the hell was all last night about?!” He cried back at her, making her even more lost.
Last night?!
“What are you talking about?” she asked calmly, not wanting them to have another argument.
He sighed heavily, looking frustrated. “Last night me and Paul had a little chat about you,” he said. “’He didn’t like the way I was treating you’, or some shit like that, and I was like, ‘what do you care?!’ And he kept going on about how much you meant to him and how much he cared for you, and I was like, what do you care about her?! And he said you’re really important to him and I asked him what was going on between you and he wouldn’t tell me anything!” He looked her in the eyes after that little spout, and asked firmly: “So what’s going on between you two?”
Elisabeth looked back at him frantically, a little thrown to discover Paul and Steve had been talking about her, and that Paul had spoke his mind to him about her… she wasn’t quite sure how to react to that.
“Steve- me and Paul are just friends!” She insisted urgently, reaching out for him, but he flinched away. “There’s nothing going on!”
“Has he been seeing you?” He demanded.
She sighed. “If you mean has he been over, then yes. But as for-”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He said, eyes sparkling many colours. “That you were… that my best mate was coming here behind my back?!”
“It wasn’t behind your back,” Elisabeth assured him. “He came over as a friend-”
“You could’ve told me he was your friend,” Steve said, mocking her slightly. “But what the hell has he been telling you about me?! I think he’s been influencing you more than I thought!”
“Steve, please,” Elisabeth begged. “Paul has not been ‘influencing’ me over you at all…”
“Why did he say he cares so much about you, then? And that he didn’t like the way I was treating you?” He narrowed his eyes.
“Because he’s my friend!” Elisabeth cried, losing her cool. “He’s trying to look out for me!”
“I think he’s trying to do more than that.”
“Whaaat?! How do you figure that?!” She cried.
“I think he’s trying to get me out the way so he can be with you.”
“WHAT?!”
“I think Paul wants you for himself!”
This was crazy… Paul wasn’t anything like that!
“Paul is not interested in me like that!” She cried back. “God, you’re as bad as Becky! Thinking there’s something going on.”
“So Becky thinks this too?!”
“Yeah- and it’s stupid! If you want the truth, Paul freaks me out! He scares me! And why the hell would I wanna be with him anyway when I have you?”
Steve looked down, scowling away from her. “But you listen to him?” He sulked.
“Sometimes! Sometimes he says interesting things!” Elisabeth said, and felt words on top of her, about to spill out. Oh no, oh no…
“Like?”
“Like… he said you’ve been saying you slept with me!” She blurted out, defending Paul, but telling Steve something she’d always intended to bury away and never think of again.
Steve looked at her, his eyes wide and then looked sharply away, seemingly embarrassed she knew about that. But now it was out in the open, she may as well question him about it.
“Why did you lie to me like that?” She asked, somewhat gently. She was over being angry at it now- it still confused her why he’d done it, though.
He looked down and brought his hand up to rub the back of his neck warily, feeling put on the spot.
“Well?”
He kept his eyes down, avoiding her stare, especially when she folded her arms.
“Liz…” He muttered, but there was nothing else he could say. He couldn’t justify lying about her like that.
“Fine, okay,” she let her arms go and walked past him into the lounge, suddenly finding herself in control. “If you can’t tell me the truth then you might as well just go.”
She sat herself down on the sofa, sighing, but he came rushing in back to her. “Liz- please, I’m really, really sorry I said that about you! It was a spur of the moment thing… y’know? I… I… just exaggerated things between us because… I wanted them to be better.” He sat down next to her.
She put her head on her hands and looked dumbly at the floor. “Well that’s just great, isn’t it.”
“Liz- I’m sorry.”
“Nothing’s going on between me and Paul,” she repeated firmly to him again. “He just thinks he knows best as a friend, that’s all. And I’m glad he told me what you were saying about me.”
“I never meant to hurt you, Liz! I just… I really want us to be together properly, and you don’t, so…”
She shot her head up to look at him. “How do you know that I don’t?”
He stared at her, a little startled. “B-B-Because last week… you… you said no.”
“And have you asked me lately?” Her heart raced as she said that.
He looked at her, more into the eyes, hardly believing his ears. “N… Nooo… w- why? Have you changed your mind?!”
She lifted her head up and looked back at him fully now, their heads level with each others. “Maybe.”
She bit her lip as every muscle in her body tightened up, and she shook vividly inside. She couldn’t believe she was actually coming out and saying these things; that she’d been planning to say- they were actually coming out…
He stared back at her amazed, but he didn’t say anything. He just leant forward and softly put his lips onto hers and she wrapped her arms around his neck and hungrily brought him closer to her, trying to act more confident than she felt inside- because she was so, so nervous about what was about to happen, but she had to do this.
Once he caught on to what her body wanted, he put his hands onto her, running them lightly over her skin, and kissed her harder and she loved it, because it felt so much like he wanted her.
And this was all part of the plan. This was a big plan of hers. If she… if they got even closer than they were now, give Steve the best time of his life, show him which girl he should be with rather than just have two of them on the go… then she could get rid of all this jealousy and get Steve to just be with her.
It was a big step, but it was the only way she could think to do it. Steve was so important, she knew that now, and she would do anything to make him exclusively hers. She hadn’t been sure, hadn’t been ready this time last week… but now… now was different.
She was going to sleep with him.
As the kissing got more passionate, she could feel his breathing get heavier, especially when she started running her fingers through his soft, golden-brown hair. He pulled away from her, emotions running high.
“L-L-Liz… y- you sure?”
She nodded furiously, pulling him back to her, trying to rush, trying to get this all over with. The more they delayed, the more she’d question her actions, and then change her mind…
She felt his hands on her chest, groping to try and get her top off and that made her kisses faster as she felt more and more excited and scared…
The front door banged open.
“Liiiiz! You’ll never believe this! After all that, I still go and forget to bring my ph-”
Becky’s happy, bemused voice suddenly came to a sudden halt.
Adrenalin kept Elisabeth’s lips moving against Steve’s a little longer, but the words soon processed into her mind… the voice…
Her lips froze against his and her heart felt like it had suddenly stopped. Her hands, still firmly in Steve’s hair, ceased too; and all thoughts about being with Steve were pulled out of her head so fast she couldn’t recognise it happening.
She felt the comfort and the warmth of his lips slowly leave her, as the extra, unexpected presence filled the room like a cold, spine-tingling chill running down her back.
Frightened, she slowly opened her eyes and looked behind to see the stunned figure of her best friend there- looking at them overcome with shock at her boyfriend with… with… Elisabeth.
And she knew there was no way she could talk herself out of this one- this was it.
They’d been caught.