~Hey all! Sorry this chapter is a little late- have been on my hols, hehe!! Yes, getting all sunburnt and ill and the like *coughs again*. Newho- here’s anotha update for you all; I like this one, is quite cute! I should be back to uploading again Friday as normal. Everyone’s on their summer hols now (awwww, well I know you’re not hunny, but you’ve had me for a week, jeeeez be privileged! *Laughs madly*) so hope every1 is relaxing and having fun- wahoooo!! Perfect time to read lotsa fics! ;) hehe, enjoy! Lotsa luv, Kate xxx PS- I HAVE PURPLE HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAHOOOOOOOOOO! *ahem* *carry on*~
The next few days slipped inside each other like shadows do through the murky black alleys. Neither one proved of any value- they were just there for pure torture.
As time passed it could not condone what Elisabeth had done. It could not heal what wounds had been created- time, if it was going to be the solution, needed to be a lot staler than that.
Becky had not got in touch; which did not surprise Elisabeth, but did no good to her state of mind either- going out of her wits that Becky would never, ever come back. But being logical; she knew Becky still had all of her stuff here, and would have to come back for it at some point. Especially her phone. She could survive without her clothes and belongings where she was- most probably her parents- but she needed her phone. The one thing she’d come back for Friday night, and she’d found something else instead…
Elisabeth thought that Becky would want to talk, though. Even if she intended hating her forever- that chilled her spine- she’d at least want to know the full story. Becky was conscientious like that. But she hadn’t been over to talk yet, and there’d been no indication that she was going to, either.
Steve, similarly, had ceased to exist. She had no way of getting in contact with him- she could probably muster up enough spirit to do that, but she had no phone number. She didn’t even know where he lived.
He’d abandoned her.
He hadn’t even stopped on Friday night to see if she was okay, to talk about what happened hereafter, the future for them- it had just seemed like he’d walked away, not caring about what they had anymore, now that it was all out in the open.
Had she been true with her instinctive thoughts of him after he’d left?
That without Becky, she was nothing to him? That, if their relationship wasn’t a secret, it wasn’t worth having at all?
Was it true? Did he really think that?
Elisabeth felt like she had so much to say about what had happened- particularly with all this solitude time for thinking about it over and over again- but she had no-one to say it to. She just had to bottle it all up inside until she felt like she was going crazy. It was enough to make you go crazy- living in this house alone, with no-one to talk to, no-one to share her grief, sorrow, anxiety and fears with.
That’s why she’d been so grateful when the knock at the door had come that late Sunday afternoon.
Just anyone- anyone- to listen to her, that’s all she needed.
She rushed to open it before they changed their mind and went away again- and when the unveiling released the image of Paul to her, it was like a million weights had been lifted off her shoulders.
“Hiya,” he grinned, looking exotic as per usual. “Haven’t got long, just a bitta free time, and thought I’d come over and say hi, ‘spesh as I’ve been away these last few days…” He looked at her a moment, and immediately sensed something was wrong.
“Lib?” He inquired.
She wanted to cry, she really did- but something was stopping any emotion flowing. She was frightened in case she was hardening up somewhere inside- but all she really knew was that she really needed Paul right now- he was like her guardian angel.
“You better come in,” she ushered, holding the door out to let him in, as she’d done so many times before.
Life was like déjà vu these days.
He frowned, and stepped forwardly in, and she closed the door weakly behind. As with emotion, she had no strength left either.
“Lib- what’s wrong?” He asked, immediately turning to her, and she felt suddenly possessed to do something. Not in a million years would she have done it before- but she did it now.
She went to him and she hugged him.
She put her arms around his waist and buried her head into his chest and hugged him. She just needed some comfort right now- and if Paul freaked her out, then she would just have to push all her reservations aside for the minute as she let human nature take over.
She needed a hug.
Paul seemed absolutely surprised at this sudden gesture of need, and that she was suddenly so close to him. But doing all he could as a friend, as a good friend, he put his arms around her and hugged her back. Whatever was bothering her was obviously beginning to revel in its pain.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” she whispered to him, craving the presence of a warm, friendly person… even if he did smell like Calvin Klein’s Cool Water. But he was here. That’s what mattered the most.
He looked down at the fragile, small, cream-coloured girl in his arms and wondered what life was like for her, why she was like this.
“What’s the matter, sweetheart?” He gently asked her. It was good that she needed him though; felt good.
“Something awful’s happened,” she said to him, and now that her mind was forced to think about pervious events, emotion that had been so fleetingly stopped, rushed through her again, and she shuddered.
He felt that go through her. “What?” He asked, looking down at her, and she was about to reply when she suddenly took a sharp inhale of his denim jacket, and could feel its closeness against her skin. She pulled away slightly, and she realised she could feel the outline of his chest under his jacket, under his T-shirt, and she suddenly realised how close she was to him. How he was touching her, had her in his arms in a kind of… embrace… friendly, but an embrace.
Heart thudding slightly, she looked up at him hesitantly and because he was looking down at her, their foreheads almost brushed against one another’s and she jumped back, afraid again, and embarrassed about how needy she looked.
“Becky caught me and Steve on Friday night,” she said, and immediately looked away.
“What?” He uttered, astonished at the news, and tried to get back close to her as soon as possible, “w-why? When did that happen? What were you doing?!”
Questions, questions, questions. It was all like neighbours gossip.
Elisabeth backed away, telling him silently that their communication got this far.
“We- we were kissing and she came in, and… she saw us.”
“Oh my God,” he muttered, realising the extent of what had happened, and looking down at the walls to the floor, reeling. No wonder she was so… shaky… and delicate.
“Are you okay?” He asked, stepping closer, looking up at her again, and she just winced and kept her head down, fighting away the tears.
“Ohhhh Libby…” Paul came to her again, but Elisabeth stepped away, and wiped her eyes furiously, trying to pull herself together.
“No, no, I’m okay,” she argued, and then headed for the kitchen.
Paul followed her.
“Libby- I’m so sorry,” he said, sympathetically to her, as she fetched some tissues. “I-I-I’m really… I’m so sorry.”
She accepted that, wiping her eyes and nose, and leaning on the counter towards the window outside, which over-looked the back garden, vacant as ever. She didn’t want Paul to see her like this. She was supposed to be strong for him, but inside she was as weak as a small leaf in a gust of wind, swept along, unable to stand up for herself.
“I deserve this,” she said, to anyone who cared to listen. “I really deserve this.”
“No you don’t,” Paul quickly dismissed her, and came over to put his hand on her shoulder.
She felt it like a spider, dropping down on her and staying there, waiting. She was too scared to move, and her heart awaited any movement from it, she was aware it was there.
“Lib- it- it’s just something- it happened, okay? It wasn’t done to punish you- it just happened.”
“I should have listened to you,” she said softly, “now I’ve lost everything.” She could see his reflection looking at her in the window, so she looked away- it made her skin tingle.
“What do you mean? Tell me exactly what happened,” he said, trying to get things clear.
She took a deep breath, held all the overriding emotions inside and forced all the words out, everything that had happened, every minute detail that had brought her to where she was now. She even mentioned to him the supposed ‘fight’ he’d had with Steve on Thursday night… and Paul seemed to blush at that.
“Sorry about that,” he muttered.
“What happened between you two?” She asked him.
He sighed. “Well… it was the first time I’d seen him since… since like Tuesday, and I tried so hard to forget what he was doing, but I couldn’t, and in the end I just said it- everything I felt, and how he shouldn’t be using you like he was and… yeah, we had a bit of an argument.”
Elisabeth was touched now, that he’d spoke up for her welfare. At the time she’d thought it hadn’t been any of Paul’s business, but now that Steve had ‘left’ her, she could see the goodness in his intentions.
“Steve got really mad y’know,” she spoke softly, still looking down at the kitchen surface. “He thought you were jealous, or something. And then… well… I told him that was stupid, and that we were just friends, but he still didn’t like it… I… I told him…”
Paul didn’t say anything, he just continued to listen.
Elisabeth let out a nervous laugh and played with her tissue. “I told him I’d sleep with him on Friday.”
Paul looked at her to see if she was serious, and when it appeared she was he looked gobsmacked; his mouth hung open in surprise.
“You did?!”
She nodded shyly.
“Erm… wow, okay.” He looked speechless, and then looked away from her, as if it bothered him.
“I would have gone through with it too… then Becky came in.”
“And she got upset and shouted at you both and then when Steve told her what had been going on- she left?” Paul reiterated.
“Erm… she slapped Steve, too,” Elisabeth remembered.
Paul let out a small gasp, then a little chuckle. “Really?! Good for her!”
When Elisabeth did nothing, he stopped, and looked back at her, moving his hand on her shoulder as if to show he was there. “Do you still care about him?”
She shrugged despondently. “He left me.”
“What about Becky?”
She sighed heavily and held her arms to herself. “I never wanted this to happen, Paul. I didn’t want it to end up like this-”
“Lib, in all honesty, and I’m not being insensitive here,” Paul interrupted her, “but… but it… don’t you think it would have ended up like this, anyway? You couldn’t have hidden forever… and I’m not trying to sound smug here, or-”
She sighed in defeat. She knew what he meant, and it did make sense- kinda… she didn’t want to think about her only love being bad for her. That meant she was never, ever going to fall in love.
“Lib, you know what I mean, yeah?”
She nodded, quietly.
“And you know things will get better?”
“Ha,” she let out a sarcastic laugh. “Yeah- how do you figure that one out?”
He suddenly let go of her and she felt a wave of release wash over- and he headed over to the cupboard and took out two glasses.
“Well; firstly, Steve’s a bastard. He really, truly is, and he is no-one to break a friendship up.”
Elisabeth slowly turned around and watched him as he found a fan of cola, and opened it, spilling its contents into the two glasses- a drink for each of them.
“Do you know where Becky is?” He asked her.
“I think she’s at her parents,” she said, mumbling to him.
He chucked the can away and passed a glass to her. “Where she was last weekend?”
Elisabeth nodded, gratefully accepting the drink.
“You have the number?”
She nodded.
“Tomorrow morning- call her.”
Elisabeth choked slightly on the sip of cola, but forced it down. She looked up at Paul hesitantly.
“Call her?” She squeaked.
He took a swig of cola, and then looked up at her; giving her such a real, genuine smile that she felt her whole body jump inside.
“Yeah- call her.”
“And say what?” She looked back down into the jumping fizzles in the pop.
“Ask if she’ll come round and talk to you. So you can properly sort things out.”
Elisabeth shook her head. “She’ll say no.”
“Will she?”
“Yes… why would she wanna talk to me?!”
“Because you’re her best friend.”
“Paul- she hates me.”
“You don’t know that,” he said softly. “You know there’s a thing on this earth Lib, that people underestimate a lot. And the only person I’ve ever known to sing about it is Dan Henley.”
She laughed; he was so eccentric! “What’s that?”
“Forgiveness.”
She looked up at him again, and their eyes locked for a moment or two. Because he was stood at the other side of the room she didn’t feel his look to be one of intimidation, but more… welcoming. It still contained too much… something for her to handle, but… from a distance, it was… okay.
“You think she can forgive me for what I’ve done?” She asked him.
“Never know unless you try.” He took another drink. “Look Lib- I don’t want you losing your friendship with Becky, that’s all.”
“I suppose… you mean, I love her to bits! Sometimes I can’t believe how stupid I’ve been…”
“Don’t feel stupid- we all make mistakes,” he eased her.
“Yeah, but not major huge ones like this!” She laughed, in spite of the situation. “Steve was everything to me.”
“And then he showed you what you meant to him.”
She looked him back in the eye. “Nothing.”
“Exactly.”
She put her empty glass down, drowned in resurgence of confidence. “I’ll call her. Tomorrow.”
He grinned at her, his whole presence and understanding cleansing the messy situation. “That’s my girl.”