Chapter 10

I kept looking at his eager soft brown eyes, sparkling in anticipation, waiting for me to smile and say, “of course I would! That would be lovely! When?”

But it wasn’t going to happen.

I liked Josh, but I had a date with Christian Friday night. I can’t date two guys at the same time, can I?!!

But I didn’t want to upset Josh. He was sooo shy! It must have taken a lot of courage to come over and ask me out. And now I had to let him down!

I hoped I hadn’t raised his hopes too much…

“Erm…” I started.

“I mean, if you want to, that is,” he said, almost blushing. “Like on Friday night, or something.”

Arraghhhhhhhhh! That was worse!

I’d have to cancel my date with Christian if I wanted to go out with Josh. But I’d rather go out with Christian!

So, so much.

But he looked so hopeful. I was gonna feel a right bitch.

“Erm… actually Josh, I-I’m kind of busy Friday night…” I said, at least being truthful.

I could see his eyes become a little alarmed then. “Oh! Ohkay then,” he said, sounding disappointed. Then he said hopefully, “Saturday?”

Oh, he was really eager to go out with me, wasn’t he?!!

I suppose I should be flattered. And I was, in a way. If I hadn’t met Christian on Saturday, I’d be thinking all my dreams had come true about now. I’d have said yes to Josh in a second!

But now, because of Christian, I had to say no…

“Erm… I think I’m busy then too, Josh…” I said.

I could see his whole face fall. I think he realised what I was trying to say.

He’d got the hint.

“Oh, alright then, I understand,” he said, and he turned away to go.

Oh, I felt awful. Such a bitch.

He began to walk away, but then he stopped and turned around.

“I-I thought you liked me,” he said, sounding confused.

Oh, I felt so sorry for him! I did like him! I liked him a lot.

It’s just I couldn’t…

“Josh-“

“Karen said you liked me a lot. And I do, too, so I thought I’d ask you out…” He explained.

“Josh, I’m sorry-“

“You know, if you don’t like me, you could have at least spared Karen telling me you did,” he said, quietly angry.

“Josh, I didn’t tell Karen to tell you!” I tried to explain.

“It’s not really fair, is it?” He said, ignoring me. “I don’t like being messed around.”

And then he turned away and walked off.

He left me feeling awful. I’d really upset him. And he had liked me too? Oh God- this was awful!

“Ohhhhh Abbie!” I sighed. “What have I done?”

“Kate! There’s not a lot you could do. You’re going out with Christian on Friday,” she said.

“Yeah- but he looked so disappointed! I felt such a bitch!”

“Kate- don’t! Really, it’ll be fine. When he realises that you have a boyfriend, he’ll understand…”

“I just couldn’t think of anything else to tell him, Abbie!” I sighed. “I couldn’t tell him I actually didn’t like him, ‘cos I do! But I couldn’t really say I had a date either, ‘cos then he’d tell everyone I had a boyfriend! And then if things don’t work out between me and Christian…”

“Kate! Stop worrying so much! It wasn’t really your fault anyway. If Karen hadn’t of told Josh…” Abbie said.

“I just don’t like upsetting people,” I admitted. “Now Josh hates me! He thinks I “messed him around”!”

“Kate- what does it matter what Josh thinks of you when you’re going out with Christian a1?” Abbie smiled.

I sighed. “I suppose you’re right. Josh isn’t that important…”

But I still felt bad. I didn’t want to hurt somebody who I liked! Especially someone as shy and as sensitive as Josh.

It seemed I was getting on the bad side of every guy at this university!

First Matt, then Tim, now Josh…

“C’mon Kate, just try and forget about it,” Abbie said, trying to be positive. “Christian, remember?” She said, waving her hand in front of my face and making me laugh.

“What were you saying?” I said, trying to push Josh to the back of my mind and concentrate on Christian.

After all, I was going out with him.

Not Josh- Christian.

And that’s loads better! I should be happy- not sad!

“I was saying Paul plays the tambourine!” Abbie laughed. “But he’s a fab singer. They all are.”

“H- How old are they all?” I asked hesitantly.

Christian actually looked younger here, on the albums. They all looked young, actually. Was Ben one of the oldest, being 22?

“You mean- how old’s Christian?” Abbie grinned.

I nodded.

“Well- he’s 24. Just turned, actually. He was 24 in January.”

Oh. That was alright…

“3 years, then?” I said referring to the age gap between us.

“More like 2 and a half years,” Abbie said, thinking.

“I’ve never dated someone that older than me before,” I said, a little worried.

“Kate! It’s not that bad! He’s not 30 or something!” Abbie laughed.

“But the guys I’ve been out with have been no more than 6 months older than me! God- he’ll be 25 next year!” I gasped.

“Kate- you’ll be 23 next year! Don’t worry!” Abbie laughed.

“So- erm… how old are the other guys?” I said, trying not to worry.

“Ben’s 22, as you know,” she said, grinning. “Wahoo! I’m only 11 months younger than him! And Mark’s 23, and Paul’s 26.”

My eyes widened in shock. “Paul’s 26?” I repeated.

“Yep,” Jade nodded.

I stared down at both albums, and compared the 2 Paul’s.

“Paul’s not 26!” I gasped.

“Yes, he is. I know- doesn’t look it, does he?” Abbie remarked.

“No!” I said, amazed. He really didn’t. He looked 24, max!

“I know. Sometimes he does act like 26, and you think “yeah, he’s older” but there are other times when you think- God, he’s barely older than Ben!” Abbie laughed.

“So- Ben’s the youngest?” I said.

She nodded. “Yep! He’s “our” age!”

“I better get to class,” I suddenly said, catching the clock. I hadn’t drunk my coffee.

“Thanks for the albums,” I said to Abbie. “I’ll try to listen to them.” I began putting them in my bag.

“That’s ok. Keep ‘em for a week or so, and then I’m sure you’ll wanna go out and buy them!” She laughed. “Or maybe Christian’ll get you free copies!”

“Er… maybe,” I said, getting up. “I’ll see you at break, ok? I’ve gotta go find Emm.”

Abbie nodded and I quickly rushed off.

I met up with Emm, and we went into class. Again though, I was finding it hard to concentrate.

Christian was on my mind- was his age gonna be a problem?

Josh was also on my mind. Does he hate me now? Is he gonna go around telling everyone what a bitch I am? I don’t think he’s the type that would, but if he was THAT upset with me…

I couldn’t wait until I escaped at 11 o’clock. I went straight to the canteen. I needed to talk to Karen.

We had to have a talk. I was really upset about what she’d done. Now Josh hated me, ‘cos of her!

I found her in the canteen, at the table, reading over her notes.

“Hey!” She greeted me with a grin.

She obviously had no idea.

“Karen! I can’t believe you!” I said, as I sat down next to her.

“What’ve I done now?” She asked, looking upset.

“Just the whole Josh thing! I can’t believe you told him I liked him!” I cried.

“I thought we were ok about that,” she said. “I said I was sorry.”

“Yeah! But he only goes and asks me out this morning in here!” I cried.

Karen’s eyes widened in excitement. “He really had the courage to ask you out? Oh wow! I didn’t think he’d have the nerve! He’s so shy!”

I gasped. “You knew he was gonna ask me out?!!” I cried.

She shrugged. “Well, I thought he might. But he’s so shy! I thought he might bottle.”

“I can’t believe you knew! You could’ve warned me!” I said.

“It was pretty obvious he would though, eh?” Karen said.

“No!” I cried. “Tim didn’t!”

“Josh didn’t laugh when they told him you liked him,” Karen remarked. “Anyway! So- when are you going out? Friday?”

I stared at her amazed.

Had she not been listening to anything I’d been saying all day yesterday?

“Karen- I said no! I told him I didn’t wanna go out with him!”

Karen gave me a disappointed look. “You said no? Oh, Kate!”

“What?”

“What’s got into you lately? Have you quit dating?”

“Of course I haven’t quit dating! I just don’t wanna go out with Josh!” I snapped.

“You can’t be picky, Kate!” Karen said, shaking her head. “And you fancy Josh! If you don’t wanna go out with him, then who do you wanna go out with?!”

“Hey guys- what’s up?” Abbie said, joining us at the table.

“Kate turned Josh down!” Karen said, amazed.

“I know, I was there,” Abbie said calmly, sitting down.

“You were?” Karen cried. “Well- don’t you think she’s an idiot?!!”

Abbie shrugged. “She has her reasons.”

“Like what?!!”

“Hey guys! Arguing again, are we?” Danny sat down, grinning.

“Hey honey,” Abbie said, and leant over and gave him a kiss. “It’s nothing to be concerned about. Let’s talk about something else.”

Karen opened her mouth to say something, but shut it again. She was beaten. I was so grateful to Abbie- I really wanted to keep Christian quiet.

*****************************************

The rest of the day was hard.

I had to avoid Josh because I was too embarrassed to be around him. I was glad it was a “Tim free” day. I couldn’t have done with the hassle of having him around.

I’m in a mardy with Karen. I didn’t like arguing with my friends- in fact I hated it- but I had a right to be angry at Karen. She was always trying to interfere in my life. Especially my love life.

So I wasn’t really speaking to her.

I couldn’t concentrate in class because of all the things going on in my head- how was I supposed to think about teaching at a time like this?

I escaped Uni as soon as I could, and drove home. I think I just needed a quiet night in, to get away from it all.

I needed to get down to some proper work, as I was a little bit behind. Nothing too serious, but having all these distractions in my life didn’t help.

The whole pressure of a date with Christian, Josh angry at me, being pissed off with Karen, Christian’s age thing…

Ughhhhhhh. It was too much.

I had a quick dinner, got changed and settled down with my notes. Maybe if I could get a lot of work done, I could treat myself later and listen to the a1 albums!

That might be a laugh.

I’d never really properly heard Christian sing before. I bet he was fantastic!

Give me a good chance to listen to some proper a1 music too. I only knew a few songs. I now had 27 to listen to!

Maybe Abbie was right.

Maybe I did have to sort of become interested in a1, for Christian’s sake…

For the moment though, I carried on with my notes.

I was planning well, working quite quickly, when I was interrupted by the phone ringing.

Arraghhhh!

I leaned over to pick it up. “Hello?” I said.

“Katherine!” It was Christian.

“I need your help!”