Chapter 14

The loud, confident knock told me I had somebody at my door.

No guessing who that was.

I doubled checked the time. Had 10 minutes suddenly evaporated into the midst of time?

No. It was still 5.50pm.

Then- why was he here so early?

And it was early. By 10 minutes. You could understand him being a couple of minutes early- perhaps even 5 minutes early.

But 10?

What was he- desperate?

I felt completely frozen. Oh my God- standing behind that door, was Christian from a1. And he was going to take me out for a gorgeous meal, and then onto the cinema for a good movie.

And I was sooo not ready yet! I needed those 10 minutes! Why had he just taken them away from me?!

I eventually forced my feet to move and I went into the ‘hall’. Walking past the mirror, I stopped and checked my appearance. Ok- I looked alright. Just nervous, actually. Well- that would soon clear up!

Hopefully…

I took a deep breath and then, holding my head up to try and look confident, even though I had no confidence at all, I reached for the handle, and then opened the door.

And there he was- stood on the step, hands behind his back, looking absolutely, absolutely gorgeous!

I couldn’t even stress how gorgeous he looked standing there.

It was really him. There- in the flesh. Stood on my doorstep.

I held the door handle tightly to steady myself.

As soon as he saw me, he gave me a warm smile that lit up his face.

Oooh, his hair! His hair! It was gorgeous! Just the way it hung over his face.

Arraghhhh- to touch it!

“Hi,” I squeaked, tensing up inside. He was making me so nervous.

“Hi,” he grinned, really casually, and then he leaned over and kissed my cheek.

Ahhh- what a gentleman!

I felt myself blush when he pulled back. God, he makes me go all funny when he leans that close.

I take him in- his scent, his feel, everything. And he has such soft lips!

Arraghhhhh. I still couldn’t believe he was actually here. Here- right now. In person. I didn’t just have to talk to his voice anymore- I had to talk to him.

How can you look at him and then open your mouth and speak?

It’s impossible.

One requires so much concentration, you can’t do the other.

He’s just so gorgeous, and famous, and rich, and…

It’s Christian a1.

He stood there, looking unbelievably relaxed, arms still behind his back. He looked like some kind of butler! Kitted out in black trews, white shirt and black jacket.

But not that sad. Not that formal. He looked amazing.

Casually, casually amazing.

I immediately knew I’d tried too hard with my outfit. It was too over the top for a first date. I should have worn a normal top, or blouse or something.

Christian was looking me over, I know he was.

I could sense his eyes flicking up and down, eyeing me over.

I wished it felt nice, but I felt so horribly self-conscious.

I waited- waiting for his final analysis.

Finally, he looked straight at me and I saw him slowly smile and say, “wow- you look amazing!”

Ohkaaaay… that hadn’t been the answer I was expecting.

I looked down to check my outfit, to see if it had magically transformed or something, but no- it was still the same. Gold and cream.

I looked back up at him. He was actually really staring now, and I blushed.

I felt embarrassed- why had I worn this, again?! Abbie!!!!

“Really? It looks ok?” I squeaked again.

He gave me a slow nod. “You look gorgeous.”

I dunno how he was managing to make me even redder, but he was! I blushed again and looked down.

“Thank you,” I said quietly. “You look great, too.”

Which he did! Oooh, I was such a lucky girl tonight!

“Listen- the reason I’m early is because I’ve got something for you,” he explained suddenly. “Kind of an apology for last night.”

I looked up at him, completely baffled.

Last night? What had happened last night…?

I frowned at him. “I- I’m sorry, but I-“ I started, but he cut me off.

“I guess I kind of felt responsible,” he smiled that breathtaking smile, “so…”

and he revealed his right hand and it contained a beautiful glass vase. “Vase,” he said, “and…”

And then he revealed his left hand- a bunch of beautiful, absolutely beautiful red and white roses.

“Flowers!” He finished, and then he gave me a big, proud smile.

I was completely speechless.

I stood there in shock, looking at the vase and the flowers he was holding out to me, and I did not have a clue what to say.

I had realised what he was “apologising” for anyway- for the vase being knocked over last night.

But this? This was just such a thoughtful gesture.

It hadn’t even been his fault, bless him!

What was he doing this for?!!

What a sweetheart.

I looked at them, and then back at him.

“C-Christian-“ I said finally.

“I wasn’t sure what colour roses you liked,” he interrupted me. “I mean, I know you said you liked roses, but you never said what your favourite colour was… so I got both red and white!” He grinned at me.

The colour of the roses was the furthest thing from my mind at the minute.

I didn’t care! I loved them. They were beautiful. The vase was beautiful. The whole thing was beautiful.

“Christian- you didn’t have to do this!” I eventually cried.

He shrugged. “I wanted to. Now please take them!” He held them out to me, then.

I let go of the door handle and took hold of the roses, and then the vase.

Oh, they smelled heavenly!

Almost as good as him! But not quite…

I studied the vase for a minute. Oh my God- it looked soooo expensive. It was made of a white frosted glass, and it was really pretty. Much better than my last old thing.

“I don’t know what to say!” I said, looking up at him, his face smiling with pride.

Oh, I sooo wanted to kiss him. Right there and then. Just drop everything, even if it meant smashing the vase, and then just pulling him to me and kissing and kissing him until I ran out of breath.

But of course, I couldn’t do that.

“You better put the roses in water,” he informed me.

“Oh! Oh- yeah,” I said, and then I started to turn around to head back into the flat- but then I stopped.

Oh no. OH NO! Christian was going to have to come in whilst I did that- and he’d be in my flat!

Oh- I’d only meant for him to stay on the doorstep. Not come in. Oh God, how embarrassing.

My flat was such a dump, a complete black hole of nothing.

He couldn’t see it- he couldn’t!

He must live in a mansion of a flat compared to my old heap.

And he’d compare, I knew he would… and oh, oh, oh…

“Katherine? You alright?” I heard his voice behind me.

“Erm…” I turned round and gave him an encouraging smile. “Erm… s-sure! Er… come in.”

Oh, shit!!!!

I had to be quick, I had to be.

I walked hastily over to the kitchen area, and I put the vase on the side. Then I put the tub into the sink and turned on the cold-water tap.

I just daren’t look behind me to see him looking at the flat- I couldn’t.

I was sooooo embarrassed by this place. It was so dark, so small, so cramped and boring.

He must think so much less of me.

Don’t they say you can tell a lot about a person by the place you live in?

The problem was, this place brought me down so much. I wasn’t the stereotypical person that lived here!

Not really.

I unwrapped the plastic cover from around the roses, and then stopped the tap and put them into the little pool I’d created. I can put them in the vase later, I decided.

I just wanna get out of here.

Leave- and go onto better places!

I turned around, and I saw him over in the lounge area- fortunately the best area- looking around, studying the place.

It was enough to make me cringe, looking at what I saw and then trying to imagine looking at it through the eyes of a pop star of Christian’s calibre.

Ughhhh!

I made for the front door.

“C’mon, let’s go,” I said quickly.

He was slowing turning around, looking at everything. Not just the furniture and layout- but floor, ceiling and walls, too.

He turned to me and grinned.

“I love your flat,” he said.

My jaw was yearning to drop, but I defied gravity, and just looked at him amazed.

“Christian!” I exclaimed. “You what?”

“I love your flat,” he repeated, grinning. He could see how shocked I was.

And I was. How could he even like this hovel of a place?

I hated it- he must just be being polite.

“Christian- it’s a dump! It’s horrible! You don’t have to be nice about it y’know,” I said.

“But I do like it!” He said firmly. “It’s really cosy.”

“Christian- it’s horrible,” I assured him. “You don’t have to live here everyday!”

“I don’t see why you hate it so much,” he went on. “Ok, sure, it’s small- but there’s only you living here! It’s perfect for one person!”

“I just want more space,” I argued my case.

“What for? You don’t own 50 guitars!” He grinned.

He made me laugh then. “Do you really own 50 guitars?” I asked.

“Nah!” He laughed too. “Paul was only joking. It’s more like 5 or 6. Which is still quite a lot, I suppose…”

It was. Who owned 5 or 6 guitars?!!

“Compared to your place, mine’s not even worth mentioning,” I said.

“You haven’t even seen my place!” He defended quickly.

“I know!” I said. “But c’mon- anything’s better than this! C’mon- admit it- where would you rather live- your place- or mine?”

“Mine- but only, only ‘cos it has IKEA furniture!” He said, and then we both burst out laughing.

“C’mon, let’s go,” I smiled.

“Can’t I see your bedroom first?” He asked, with a cheeky look.

“No, you cannot!” I laughed. “C’mon!”

And so I waited as he first left the flat, then I did the same, picking up my bag as I left.

We got outside, and I closed the door behind me and locked it tight and put the keys in my bag. Christian waited for me whilst I did that on the top step, and then I turned around and grinned at him.

“Let’s go!” I said, taking a deep breath.

I started down the steps, and then I suddenly heard Christian gasp and say,

“Wait! Stop!”

I turned around. “What’s the matter?” I asked concerned.

“You can’t see it yet!” He cried.

“See what?” I asked, confused.

“Turn around,” he ordered.

“Chr-“

“Turn around!”

So I did so, and then all I saw was black as he put his hands over my eyes.

Mmm… they were so warm and soft and smelt really strongly of him.

Mmmm…

“Christian- what are you doing?” I asked.

“You can’t see my car, yet! It’s a surprise!” He said.

Ahhhh. The car! God, I kept forgetting that. I was so busy caught up in actually going out with him that I kept forgetting he had this new car to show me. I was actually quite interested to see what he’d got in the end.

“Erm… do you really need to do this?” I said, meaning covering my eyes.

“Yeah!” He grinned. “It’s a surprise!”

So he gently guided me down the steps that led up to my front door, and down onto the proper pavement.

I felt really stupid, but strangely thrilled as well.

He was touching me! I know it wasn’t the proper sense of the word, but at least I had skin contact with him.

Wahoo!

That was something.

He edged me forward and I put my full trust in him. He just better not be leading me into a manhole.

We got to, I think, the road, and then we stopped.

“Are we there?” I asked.

“Ahuh,” he said. “There you go!”

And he took his hands away from my face and I opened my eyes and blinked a few more times.

There, standing in front if me, was a brand new, shiny- but small- bright yellow Fiat Punto.

In all its glory.

I just stood there, soaking it in.

Woah… that was some car.

Yellow yes, but so, so, so, so cute! Small, sassy and sophisticated- that’s what it said! It also said, “I’m yellow!” but that didn’t matter- it was a fabulously envious car. Me, envier No.1.

“What do you think?” Christian said, right into my neck.

It nearly made me jump how close he’d come up behind me. Oooh, I could smell him again. And hear his breathing.

That put me right off.

“Erm… uh… it’s…lovely,” I stuttered.

“You hate it, don’t you?” He said, disappointed. He pulled right away.

I turned back quickly knowing I’d given him the wrong impression.

“No- no Christian! It’s great- really! I love it!”

His face lit up. “Really?”

“Really,” I assured him, and I looked back at it. Woah- that was a mighty fine car!

“It’s soooo cute!” I laughed.

“I like it,” Christian said. “You said you liked Fiat Punto’s, so I got one.”

I turned to him in shock. “You got this- ‘cos a me?” I said.

He nodded, pleased again he’d shocked me.

I looked back and thought- my car. Arraghhhhhhh.

He listened to me. Not the guys, not himself- me. ME!

“B-B-But Christian…”

“As soon as I saw a Fiat Punto, I liked them, too! It was the natural choice,” he told me.

I gulped and breathed. I still couldn’t believe he’d picked the car I told him I liked!

“I-I-I see you got yellow,” I managed to say, looking back at him.

He smiled an embarrassed smile. “Yeah… it was me, y’know?”

“I know,” I said, smiling. I had to keep looking back at it, I couldn’t help it.

Whether it was ‘cos it was so gorge, or I was too nervous to keep looking at how gorge Christian was- I don’t know.

“Do the guys like it?” I asked.

“Oh! Paul loves it. He thinks it’s amazing- haha! He even took it for a spin when I got it back. He’s sooo jealous.”

“And Mark and Ben?”

“Mark likes it, too. Ben just thinks it looks like some big banana! He’s already started calling it “banana car”.”

“Ohhhh!” I laughed, trying to imagine that.

“You don’t mind travelling to the restaurant in a banana car, do you?” He asked shyly.

“No way! I can’t wait!” I said, grinning. I’d never been in a Fiat Punto before, let alone a yellow one! You’d seen all those adverts, and dream of driving one, and now- one was in touching distance.

Driving distance.

And I was gonna be travelling in it- with Christian a1 right by my side.

Oh- this was heaven itself!

Complete bliss.

“We’d better get going, then. Glad you like it!” He said, as he made his way to the driver’s side.

I made my way to the passenger’s side and waited whilst Christian got in, and then unlocked the door for me. I opened it up and slid inside, closing the door with a perfect clump behind me. It was small, but cosy small. Not cramped small, like my flat. And the interior was gorgeous. All sophisticated state-of-the-art stuff including the steering wheel, dashboard… he even had a CD player!

He was soooooo lucky.

I just sat there for a second, settling in, and then I reached for the seatbelt.

Christian was sat quite close to me, as it was quite a small car. It was quite intimate actually, and I was feeling really, really nervous all of a sudden.

Even on the verge of panicky.

I don’t know where these sudden feelings came from- but I just suddenly felt all nervous, shy and self conscious of sitting next to him.

It was one thing speaking to him on the phone, but now he was sat right next to me, in person, he just completely sent me crazy.

He was soooo gorgeous. I thought for the one-millionth time- why the hell does he wanna go out with me, for?

I’m so plain and ordinary.

He can have any girl he wants- anyone. So he picks me. What’s he got- some brain disorder?

Christian started the car up then- a beautiful, rich sound. Can’t imagine that suddenly choking out on you in a busy London car park on a Saturday afternoon, I thought.

Then he pulled onto the quiet road and we were away. He drove at a nice pace- not too slow, not too fast, just perfect.

And he looked even more incredible when he was driving, if that were possible. Just  eyes straight ahead, concentrating, and his profile showing.

I loved his profile!

But I couldn’t even properly look at him. I just felt so shy all of a sudden. I just wanted to go into myself; make myself as small as possible.

And I don’t know why.

“So- how are you? You ok?” He asked casually, as he drove along.

God, he looks so relaxed, I thought. So calm.

I felt awful. Like I’m about to explode with nerves.

“Fine,” I whimpered.

Ask him, Kate, I was thinking. Ask him if he’s ok!

But- I didn’t. I just sat there, like a frightened rabbit.

“Good. How’s Uni?” Christian asked, seeming not to notice anything was wrong.

“Erm… that’s fine, too,” I said.

Oh God Kate- RELAX! I was begging myself.

Stop saying everything’s fine! Say something interesting and witty.

But I couldn’t. I just wouldn’t.

“How are those essays coming along? Did you finish them?” He continued to ask questions. Which was annoying, but I was more annoyed at myself for being an idiot and not relaxing.

“Er… yeah. They’re… they were… erm… fine.”

Ohhh God…

He gave me a quick, concerned look. He’d finally realised I was acting weird.

“Everything ok?” He asked me.

I gave him a brave smile. “Ahuh. Fine,” I said.

Arraaghhhhhh. If I say “fine” one more fucking time, I am going to slap myself so hard in the face, even Christian’ll feel it.

Why couldn’t I just pull myself together, take a deep breath, relax, and start to enjoy myself?

I’m on a date with Christian from a1 for God sake.

But I think that’s what it was. The whole occasion had caught up with me and had woken me up so much- I was worried sick inside.

I mean- what if this date didn’t go well? What if it was- a complete DISASTER?

What if- like- when we got to Alessandro’s- they hadn’t received our booking? And we didn’t have a table? What if Christian had forgotten to book at all? What if we couldn’t get a table ‘cos it was too full and we ended up driving around looking for somewhere to have dinner? Or, once we got in Alessandro’s, the food was awful? Or I was really boring company? Or I made a complete fool of myself?

What if we missed the movie? Or couldn’t get into the movie? Or it was really bad? Or- I split popcorn everywhere and cola all down him?

What if the car broke down and we were completely stuck in Greenwich?

What if-

“You’re really quiet,” Christian said, breaking up all my negative nightmares; my pessimistic thinking.

Don’t say I’m fine, Kate- don’t you fucking dare!!

I smiled at him forcefully. “I’m ok,” I said. “I like your car.”

Well- duh! I cried inside my head. If you’re gonna say anything, please don’t sound like some dumb bimbo dressed up too OTT, going out with a boy band member.

Please don’t do that again.

You’re so embarrassing, I told myself, and felt myself cringing inside.

“I’m glad. It drives well, doesn’t it?” He said.

“Ahuh,” I said, agreeing. Again, I waited for more to come from my mouth- some intelligent, interesting conversation- but nothing came.

My mouth just wouldn’t work.

So, we sat in silence.

And it was awful. I didn’t know what to do, what to say… I just wanted to be anywhere but here.

But at the same time, being here was all I wanted to do. I only wished I could act normally, like I had done the times we’d been on the phone.

I’d been so relaxed then- and even, dare I say it, confident. But it was him physically being here that was completely putting me off. He was so distracting… in a nice way, of course. But when I was on the phone talking to him, I so easily forgot he was Christian a1. He was just “Christian”. But now, looking at him, he was Christian a1, he was very famous and in a very famous boy band, and I couldn’t be “normal” anymore.

“You sure you’re alright? You’re not normally this quiet,” he suddenly said.

I wasn’t sure what to make of that comment! What did he think I was- loud?

I’m not loud!

I laughed a little. “I’m a quiet person,” I informed him.

“Yeah?” He said, glancing at me for a second, and then returning to the road. “Me too.”

Now that’s one thing I could believe!

Now here’s the prefect opportunity Kate, I thought. To have a conversation. Ask him why he thinks he’s quiet. Or say something that you do which makes you quiet.

Say anything, do anything, except BE quiet!

But quiet’s what I was. I didn’t say anything and the door to total, awkward silence was opened up again.

I wish I could knock that bloody door in, find my brain and voice box, and USE them.

Why was I leaving poor Christian to do all the work? He must be thinking, “God, it’s gonna be a long night. She’s really boring!”

Instead he said aloud, “have you ever been to Alessandro’s?”

Again, that window to opportunity opened up.

Gasp, and say, “God- no way! It’s soo expensive!” Or, “No way! It’s much too classy for a girl like me!” Or, “No- but I’ve always dreamt of going!”

Something like that, please Kate… say something!!

But I just panicked, and then I just froze and my mind went blank. “Erm… no,” I said.

And then I really nearly lost it with myself.

Why was I doing this?!!

I’m not usually this shy with guys. Still, not every guy I’d been out on a date with had been in a1.

“Well, it’s really nice,” Christian continued, trying to get some conversation going. “I’ve only ever been a few times, ‘cos I don’t get time to go out, and even if I do, I’ll probably just nip to Planet Hollywood with Ben or someone, and have a burger. I don’t get the chance to do this very often.”

Some of the things he came out with were amazing! “I’ll probably just  nip to Planet Hollywood with Ben or someone, and have a burger”- duh!!! Didn’t he realise that Planet Hollywood was like- soooo famous?!!

Probably not- he’s famous, too! But how can he act like going there’s normal? ‘Cos it isn’t!

I just nodded and said, “ahuh.”

Again, we drove along in silence.

We were nearly there now anyway. Hopefully things’d perk up at the restaurant.

But oh my God- what if things went wrong? What if all those things I’d been dreading actually happened?

Even if just one of them did, it would ruin the whole evening. And I so wanted everything to be perfect!

Christian had already said he’d invite me out again after this date anyway- but I didn’t believe him. If this date was a disaster, he’d want out- and fast.

This date was a test. And I had to pass, I had to.

The car suddenly came to a stop.

I blinked and looked out the window. We’d parked in this really weird car-park place that I’d never seen before in my life. I couldn’t even see Alessandro’s.

“Alessandro’s is just over the way,” Christian said, as if reading my mind, and he turned off the engine.

I sat awkwardly, not sure what to do.

And then he turned to me.

It still caught me off guard how utterly gorgeous he was!

Arraghhh- what was I doing here?!!

“Katherine- what’s the matter? I know something’s up, ‘cos you’re being really quiet, and I don’t care what you say- from what I know, that’s not you. Are you gonna tell me what’s bothering you?”

Ohhhh- he looks so concerned, I thought, really touched! He really cares, doesn’t he?

I might as well tell him then.

“I-I just- well, I don’t know,” I sighed, trying to find the right words. “I- I just feel really nervous and shy tonight.”

There- I’d said it.

He raised his eyebrows a little, and then laughed. “What are you nervous about?” He asked.

I felt a little embarrassed. I wish I hadn’t told him now.

“I-I just think that this whole date’s gonna be a disaster,” I sighed.

He looked really alarmed when I said that. “Why?” he asked, distressed.

“I just think I’m gonna make a total fool of myself, or something. Or be really boring. Or get too nervous and chat too much or shut up completely, like I’m doing now.”

When he realised it was just me being self-conscious, he smiled again.

“You don’t have to be shy, Katherine. It’s not as if I don’t know you.”

“You don’t know me!” I said.

“I know you enough to know you’re not boring! And you are not going to make a fool of yourself! God, if anyone will it’ll be me! I’ll probably go in there and trip over the waiter or something.”

He had me laughing.

“No! it’s true!” He insisted, laughing too. “I’m really clumsy!”

We both stopped laughing and just sat there for a few moments.

“Anymore worries?” He asked me.

I shook my head. “I just really want tonight to go really well,” I said. “I mean- I was worried you weren’t gonna show up. Then I thought we’d get to the restaurant and they wouldn’t have booked us in, and then we’d have to find somewhere else to eat. And I don’t wanna show you up, ‘cos you’re so famous and wonderful, and I’m just so-“

But then I couldn’t talk anymore- because he was kissing me. And not just a quick peck either- he was really kissing me!

I wish he wouldn’t keep catching me off guard like that. He just leans forward with no warning… and starts snogging you!

Not that I’m really complaining…

It’s just that it takes me a little longer to respond, ‘cos I’m kind of surprised that I’m suddenly tasting him!

And oh, he’s such a good kisser!

He goes at the right speed, and he’s so soft! His lips are so soft! And he always tastes gorgeous! It didn’t take me long to start kissing him back, I can assure you!

It felt like we had a little longer this time as well, so I could actually reach up and touch his face whilst we were kissing. Ooooh, soft lips, soft skin! I could even feel his hair as I was touching him. And you’ll never guess what that felt like that… yup- soft!

We kissed a little longer, and then we kind of came to a stop at the same time.

He grinned at me afterwards.

Arraghhhh- I couldn’t believe I’d just been kissing him!

“I know you’re supposed to do that at the end of the date, but I just can’t wait that long!” He grinned.

I just stared back at him- I didn’t know what to say or do. Well, except that I wanted to grab him and start kissing him again!

He’s fab!

“Listen- you don’t have to be shy around me,” he said, serious all of a sudden. “I know you think I’m some hugely famous guy in a boy band, but really- I’m not. I’m just Christian. And I really don’t want the fact that I’m in a1 to be a problem tonight. I want to have fun! I want to go on a normal date- with you.”

Oh God- when he spoke from the heart like that it really was hard to resist him.

“C’mon,” he said, opening the car door. “Let’s go eat. I’m starving!”