“It nearly killed me waiting. Don’t make me wait again.”
I grinned to myself as I drove along the streets of
Greenwich to my flat, having just left Christian’s.
I was reminiscing the conversation we’d had about an hour
before; and it was making a permanent mark of a silly grin on my face.
“You’re gonna be waiting a while,” I’d replied, “if we get
a result like that again!”
He’d smiled. “Maybe it’ll get easier the more times we do
it.”
“I thought it was very nice,” I said dreamily. “Okay,
possibly hard to hold onto…” I giggled, “especially for you! But it was bloody
worth it.”
“Oh, so you’re all for it now, just because you got it!”
He grinned at me, but I knew how happy he was inside; not just for me, but for
him, too. He now thought there was a chance he might not be so useless after
all, and he could satisfy me.
“I’ve worked out a technique,” he’d said.
And he certainly had; we had. Together. Somehow-
something had happened between us in the bathroom, and had just given that sexual
experience a bit more of a spark.
And I’d come! Oh my God I’d come! I’d wanted to run around
squealing childishly after that, and would’ve done if I hadn’t been so God damn
exhausted. I’d demanded a hug instead!
But I felt complete now. Like I’d finally reached the top
of the ladder and was there with Christian. I was sharing what he felt; I
didn’t feel inferior in the relationship anymore. It had given me a boost; an
injection of self-confidence.
And now we were in a way ‘equal’ in the relationship, I knew
he was happy, and because I’d achieved something that I was fundamentally
regarding physically impossible now- that left me feeling really happy
as well- so all was good in the world.
The Sunday afternoon was bright and quiet, allowing me to
drive at a leisurely pace and dreamily cast my mind back to that morning.
I felt like I had all this new… gossip? inside of me and I
was just bursting to tell someone! Maybe I should phone Abbie when I got to my
flat… might as well; feel a bit awkward using Christian’s phone. Then I could
tell her how happy I was right now, how I was with the most wonderful guy on
earth and how nothing could make it better because I was at the peak.
Last time she’d seen me- oh my God was that yesterday?
Such a long time ago!- I’d been sooo utterly depressed with life, I was all
messed up in the head, I hadn’t known what to do.
But I’d gone and made a decision, and bloody hell… so much
has happened; so much has been said since. Now it all fell into place and I was
slowly beginning to realise in Christian, who I’d stumbled across; leaving
excitement burning inside of me.
My soulmate.
I’d gone and found my soulmate.
Maybe this is crazy- maybe these are just crazy thoughts
of a hyper girl whose just had sex three or four times, and in whose eyes
Christian is just the best thing ever right now, even more exciting than…
milkshakes!… but I don’t know; I felt truly happy. He must be the one.
Okay, in reality and retrospect it’s one weekend, yet I don’t see the rest of
my life now without him in it.
My mind drifted back to the bathroom- how he’d just
carried me into the bedroom after that, laid me on the bed and we’d just got
our breath back- talking elatedly about what had happened; just babbling random
nonsense now I look back at it, because we’d been so excited about sharing that
together.
And then we’d just cuddled up for ages, him making sure I
was okay as ever, and we kissed lots… and then spoke of, I think, what was the
only grey cloud in my clear, cornflour sky.
“Christian, we didn’t use anything,” I whispered softly to
him, my head resting on his chest as I was cuddled up on the bed with him.
“Sorry- it just happened so fast,” he said back to me. “I
didn’t expect that to happen!”
“What am I gonna do?” I said back, a little anxiety
finding its way into my voice.
“Are you on the Pill?” He asked me.
“Nooo… why would I be?”
“I dunno,” he shrugged. “I don’t know what you girls use
it for!”
“Uhhh,” I made a little whine of frustration and panic…
what was I going to do?! Am not taking any chances at this stage- don’t
wanna be wheeling a bloody baby around with me.
"Have you got any Pills? At home?" He asked me.
"I've never, ever been on the Pill," I said
softly back to him, a little embarrassed. "I've never had any reason to
be."
"Erm, okay- Kate don't worry," he said, giving
me a cuddle. "We don't have to rush it, we've got a few hours yet. Maybe
you can nip to the chemist and get some?"
"What- the morning after Pill?"
"Yup- the afternoon after Pill," he grinned back
at me.
"Okay," I replied quietly again. I felt really
weird about doing that. Was I really going to be on the Pill?!
"Just this once, okay Kate? I promise we'll be more
careful next time," he said to me earnestly, so I left it at that.
Now my worry had lessened with the actual acquiring of the morning after Pills, which were sat on my passenger seat right now. I’d felt like such a dork buying those. Like when you go to buy Tampax and there's a young guy serving you? Ugh, that still embarrasses me! But this time I felt so stupid asking for them at the counter. It's more like, 'yes I was an idiot and forgot to use a condom, can I redeem myself please?' Araghh! Where's that hole when you need it?!
It was all done now though, and at least you could get
them over the counter now- how grateful was I because of that! Bloody
expensive, though. And I dreaded to think what else they were going to do to
me- give me stomach aches, mess my period up, make me tired... arghhh, all
because we didn't use a condom!
What a pain life is.
Getting nearer to my neighbourhood, I planned to take one
as soon as I got in. Ease my mind a lot anyway, as to what was going on in my
body at the moment...
Thinking about different things, I drove on. It was better
to think of what had happened after
we'd sorted that little problem out, rather than the actual problem itself.
We'd just been on a roll... quite literally!
It was amazing how close we suddenly found ourselves being
to each other, and also how attracted. I didn't want to keep my hands off him
and ditto; and we'd just lie there doing what we felt right and natural until
it would lead up to it all over again- we completely forgot lunch and
everything.
I think we had sex twice more. I couldn't really remember-
kind of a vague, blurry experience now of just good feeling after good feeling.
I hadn't come again straight away. That annoyed me- I
guess I thought I'd get it everytime now, but then that obviously wasn't the
case. I'd been close though- but then disappointed. Christian had told me not
to worry, and given me a kiss and a cuddle, saying we had to be patient. We
held on a little longer next time (even though it was ecstasy for him, poor
sweetheart! God, I'm so demanding!) and that had been a lot better- I'd
definitely orgasmed that time, and felt better about myself for doing so.
And then we were getting too tired to do anything but sit
there and discuss what we though the future led for the Spice Girls and whether
there should be all this hype around Harry Potter or not!
It had just been so lovely. I'd really felt like we were a
proper couple, lying next to each other there. I got on so well with him
because I could listen when he talked, and he listened when I spoke; we both
had similar interests, we could talk about almost anything. He knew exactly the
moment I needed a hug or a kiss, and what and how much to give. He looked after
me so well- put me before himself in everything- and of course, he was sooo,
sooo gorgeous... everytime I looked at him I saw something new I was attracted
to, and that put little butterflies in my stomach.
I just began to feel for him so much. We were definitely
right for each other.
I turned onto my road and then the old familiar yukky flat
dawned on me. Hmmm, didn't feel like I much belonged there anymore.
When I'd asked Christian what was going to happen next,
he'd begged me to spend the night again with him, and I hadn't needed much
convincing after that morning!
But I had wanted to nip home- go to the chemist's on the
way- but I needed to pick up all my Uni stuff for tomorrow and a few overnight
things like a toothbrush and a new set of clothes; I was sick of always having
to wear the same outfit the day after I slept over there!
So he'd given me a kiss and said okay, I do that, and
he'll go order something for us to have for our dinner. And I'd pleaded with
him to get me a Chinese, because there was nothing more tempting than a plate
of chicken and pineapple!
He'd laughed and agreed, so now I was parking up outside
my flat and he was ordering food whilst I sorted myself out. Then I think we
were going to cuddle up in front of the TV, watch the Grand Prix (well, I would!), eat Chinese food and then...
I dunno... go to bed?!
God, I was getting addicted!
I got out of the car with my little pharmacy packet and
let myself into my flat. It felt so weird straight away; had a cold, empty
feeling to it. I didn’t want to stay here long.
I quickly went over to the kitchen area, poured myself a
glass of water and took the awful Pill thing, convincing myself it was just
aspirin. Then I went and got changed out of yesterdays
clothes, into a nice new pair of jeans and a low-cut pink top and then I packed
a few things for tomorrow- clothes, night-shirt (hehe!), toothbrush, hairbrush,
bit of make-up and etcetera, and then sorted out all my notes and folders for
Uni.
Once all that was sorted, I went back into the lounge area
and went to call Abbie.
Oh my God- so much to tell her!
Okay Kate, I told myself, as I dialed the number: don't boast...
I let the phone ring for a good two minutes before I
eventually hung up. There obviously wasn't anybody there. I looked at the time-
4.20pm. What were people doing at a 4.20pm on a Sunday afternoon?!
I suppose I could call her at Christian's tonight... hmph.
She wasn't getting away that easily!
Now realising it was time to head back to Christian's, I
excitedly picked my stuff up and left the old dark hovel again for my car. Then
I drove to the other side of Greenwich where Christian lived, with the hopes of
Chinese food, F1 racing and of course, my lovely boyfriend's lips!
As soon as I got there, I parked the car (was weird seeing
his flat during the daytime!) and took my bags out with me, and walked up the
steps and let myself into the flat.
A warm feeling came upon me instantly, filling up the gape
inside.
I was meant to
be here.
I closed the door on the empty hallway, and put the bags
down at the side of me.
I couldn't see him anywhere so I was about to call
"Chris!" when I heard something in the lounge… like voices.
Intrigued, I edged my way over to the door and dared to have a little peek.
Christian was on his own in there; but it was his voice I could
hear, he was on the phone, sat on the sofa. He was turned away from me, so he
didn't know I was back, or even there.
And I guess I should've informed him of the other extra
person in the flat... but what he was saying... I couldn't help but
eavesdrop...
"No, no, no, it's not like that!" Christian
laughed at the mystery phone-man.
A pause.
"And who says I'm not?"
Not
what? Eh?
"Well that's how I was. Things are different
now."
What's
different? What's he on about?
Okay, I shouldn’t even be listening, I scolded myself. Go unpack
your bags or somet-
"Her name's Kate.
And she's very different, very special," I heard Christian say.
Ooooh, my
ears pricked up intently. Now this was interesting- they were talking about me!
"Why? 'Cos I don't know. She's not like anyone I've
ever met before- we just click. And she's so beautiful-" the friend said something, "Well
okay, she's really beautiful."
I felt myself blushing despite the fact I should be
feeling bad about listening in on a private conversation.
But... the things he was saying...
He went quiet then as he listened to the other person, and
then he laughed again. "No I did not!
I rang you to tell you how happy I am, and I'm excited, okay? I've found the
girl I wanna be wi... STOP LAUGHING AT ME!"
Aww, bless him! Whoever he was talking to wasn't taking
him the least bit seriously! But he was making me feel like a million dollars. Though when he said all of those
things to me, I didn't know whether to believe him or not. I knew what I
felt, but there was always the possibility that he could be exaggerating, and
that the intensity of his feelings for me weren't true.
But yet now, he had no idea that I was here, and he was still saying them...
He means every word he says to me.
"Okay, maybe I'm rushing slightly... I know it seems
kinda fast..." Christian was saying, and then he paused again. "Okay,
okay... but I know what I feel, and I don't think of her like that."
Like
what? But- awww...
"Noooo," he stated firmly at his friend's
suggestion. "I don't want that."
Another comment.
"Well I know you
would, Paul."
Paul! He
was talking to Paul!
About me?... okay, now this had changed from being
slightly cute to very embarrassing.
"Well I will," Christian said.
Paul replied again, and then Christian said to him as I tried
to find myself in the conversation again,
"I'm gonna tell you something now Paul- I'm in love
with her.”
My widening grin froze in its tracks and everything seemed
to spin. I grabbed hold of the door handle out of instinct, in case I fell. My breath
caught in my mouth, I felt like I'd been hit in the stomach.
Oh Jesus-
it was bloody true.
"It's true. I fell in love with her the moment I saw
her and every moment I spend with her the feeling gets stronger," he went
on, seemingly making Paul laugh harder, but also making me breathe harder, and slowly my conscience lost the whole
conversation altogether, and I went into my own little dream world, eyes wide
in shock.
Oh my
God, he really meant it. He was in love with me. Someone cared that much about
me and had fallen in love with who I was... and it was him. When he'd said it
to me- he wasn't just being kind, or trying to get a reaction out of me, or to
make me feel better... he was being honest. He was telling his best mate
for Godsake... it must be true.
My God, I was thrown. I didn't know how to feel. I know
he'd said it to me before, to my face, but this was so different. He didn't know I was there and he still believed it.
This changed everything. This made everything real- I'd
been thrown in at the deep end and forgotten how to swim.
"He's always wanting the phone. I thought he was hungover!
Ohhh... ohhh right... Jenny this, Jenny that. Well I'll letcha go, then. Yeah. Oh
shut up, Paul.”
Around me Christian was finishing the phonecall, but I wasn't
feeling sharp enough to register it- I was floating. Even when he hung up I was
still not there.
This was
all just... out of this world.
I don't think anyone's properly been in love with me
before...
I looked up at him slowly, and he was just sat there,
having put the receiver down, possibly grinning to himself.
There were things I needed to say to him. Lots of things.
I paced myself cautiously into the room, I don't know why I
was suddenly feeling really shaky around him. It was because all that love and
affection he felt for me was real and he'd just admitted it, and I'd overheard…
"Christian?"
He spun around to look at me quickly, surprised I was
there, but then let out a huge grin when he saw me. "Kate! How long have
you been there?!"
"Long enough."
I fidgeted with my hands a little bit, feeling nervous
with what I was about to say, and his presence swung me.
"Come sit down," he offered me, "and you
look even more gorgeous in that
top!"
I slowly walked over to the sofa and as soon as I saw him,
I knew what I had to do.
Instead of sitting by him, I put my legs around his waist
and sat on him, and then pulled his
face to me so I could kiss it.
That he loved me so much made me feel all warm inside; a
feeling I knew was true and would never go away. I thanked him so much for
making me feel that way.
He pulled away after we'd enjoyed our kiss for a few moments
and laughed at me, placing his arms around my waist. "What was that
for?!"
"For being so wonderful. And special. And loving.” I leant
forward and gave him another quick kiss. "I heard what you said on the
phone to Paul, when you told him I was like no-one you'd ever met before and
the girl you wanna be with.”
He smiled at me. "You should know that already, Kate," he told me. "I probably tell
you every hour, or something!"
"But no- this was different," I insisted.
"Before I never knew if you were telling me the truth or not, but now I know
you were because you still said it after I was gone."
"Well of course it's the truth," he said to me,
frowning slightly. "I'd never lie to you, Kate."
I smiled at him, and stroked his hair fondly. "I never
thought you were lying. I just
thought you were exaggerating your feelings. But now I know I should trust you
when you say what you feel to me."
He smiled. "Good- you should."
"You made me go all funny inside when you said
that," I giggled shyly at him.
He smiled back at me, and then he was the one who wanted a
kiss, so he started exploring my lips with his, and I responded slowly and
romantically. I could feel his love flowing through to me.
And then he did something I was not only becoming addicted
to, but to crave, and he moved his lips down to the side of my neck, smothering
that whole area in his love.
It brought back memories of the day we’d just had, how
we'd just created so much love together in the bathroom, and on the bed... how
could what we be feeling not be
right?
"Christian," I whispered, as he buried his head
into my neck and I wondered if he could feel the gulp run down my throat of
nervous anticipation. "I love you,” I whispered.
His momentum kept him kissing and cherishing me longer, but then those words just halted him completely. And slowly, with shock, he moved his head up to me and we made eye contact.
"What?" He whispered back, the tone in the room
now all hushed and heavy.
I pulled him to me even closer- this was the scariest
thing I'd ever said to a guy.
"I love you," I repeated.
He looked so stunned; like what I was saying must be some
kind of miracle or something. I guess it was-
I hadn't realised I felt that way until I'd said it a few moments ago.
"When I heard you on the phone," I said back to
him, playing with his hair out of habit, "I fell in love with you the
moment I realised when you said you loved me you were telling the truth.”
A smile just appeared on his face- a stunned, shocked one-
but it was also on the verge of pure happiness.
"Oh my God, I don't believe this," he whispered.
I giggled. "Well now the tables have turned!"
He looked in my eyes. "So when- if I- wha-" He
looked so flustered, too excited and happy for words! "So- so you really
love me? If I said I love you, you
would...?"
"Say... I love you too!" I grinned back at him,
finding it easier to say now. The more I said it, the truer I felt.
He held onto me tightly, almost speechless. "I don't
know what to say," he breathed, and then he gave me a genuine, full smile.
"Kate, you've made me so happy."
I smiled back at him. "You, me, both," I said,
and leant in to kiss him.
* * * *
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Ahhhhhhhhhh it’s ended!!! Haha! Hope was okay, lol *ahem* shall just put that away with now!
A lot of you it seems, wanted to know what happened in the
rest of LTD and the bits I’ll never get round to writing- what the outcome of
Kate and Chris will be, hehe! And in a way, I wanna tell you all too, because
there is one huuuuge, huuuuge thing that was going to happen, which was the
whole heart of this fic really, and one I never even touuuuched on writing,
that none of u will ever know, and I don’t think that’s right! So, at the
request of roro in particular lol, I’m going to put up the whole storyline of
LTD up for you all to read on II!! Hehehhe. Just you know, as a laugh, haha. I think
I’d like you all to know it too, it’d be a nice way to end it and all! So I’ll
put that up in the next few days- it won’t be on the ‘Just Updated’ bit, just
around the fic somewhere, am sure u’ll find it if ur looking for it, lol. and
yes Clo, I am aware you know it all already, haha, but other ppl don’t okay? So
shhhhh! Hahahaha. So that’s that.
My next announcement is erm, a bit of an exciting one,
lol! it’s all about this ‘surprise’ I’ve been hinting about coming this summer
lol, and now LTD is over (eeeek!) I can tell you all about it.
The big surprise is… ADG IS COMING TO II!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hehehehe. Am sooooo, sooooo excited about that you would not believe!! Also completely
scared out of my wits lol, but I’ve thought long and hard about it, and as most
of you know, I am soooooo, soooooo proud of ADG, and everything that is ADG- it’s
all me right now, and I want you all to see me as I am now, what my writing’s
like now. A lot of you won’t like it, lol, as it is very, very different to
anything u’ve read of mine before, and it will probably offend/shock u,
whatever, but I’m just gonna put it up cos I want to, lol, so haaaa! Hehe. Some
of you are prob really confuzzled at this moment in time lol, and haven’t a
clue what the infamous ADG is yet… (ooooh-er! Lol) but you’ll all know it very
soon... Look out for it this Summer sometime!!! Hehe. Am looking fwd to
shocking you stupid!! Lol. if you dare read it!
~Kate~