Chapter 48

 

“You OK babe?” he sang cheerily as he met Mel on the landing early the next morning.

 

“Great,” she muttered a grumpy response.

 

“Awwwwwwww,” he said, putting his arms round her, “what’s wrong with my favourite girl this morning?”

 

“Nothing,” she wriggled out of his clutches.

 

Not a morning person are you Mel?” he grinned.

 

“No, and why are you so cheery?”

 

“No reason,” he grinned.

 

Mel looked over his shoulder into his room, straining her eyes against the darkness for any sign of movement.

 

“Where’s your little friend?”

 

“Friend?” he asked, although it was obvious he knew exactly what she was talking about as he had started hopping awkwardly from foot to foot.

 

“Your lady friend,” she prompted.

 

“Gone,” he said, hanging his head in shame.

 

“Classy,” she snapped back.

 

“Don’t really want to talk about it,” he continued.

 

“Ditto.”

 

And with that she stormed into the bathroom and slammed the door behind her.

 

Leaning against the sink she took some deep breaths, trying hard to calm herself down.  She was so angry, she knew that last night was all about him using his body to try and get over his pain, but it was all wrong. 

 

Turning the tap on she filled her cupped hands with some cold water and splashed it on her face before lifting her head up towards the mirror to examine herself.  She looked awful, a nights worth of crying had left her face blotchy and red.  Sighing to herself she routed through her make up and began to cover the areas in concealer, blending it in expertly so that no one would ever know how hurt she was.  Feeling a little better about her reflection she continued the rest of her makeup routine, working particularly hard to make herself feel as good as possible.

 

The end product wasn’t bad.

 

There was a knock at the door.

 

“Mel!”

 

Hoping he may leave her alone if she ignored him she began to pull on her tight jeans and her favourite pink top.

 

“Mel”

 

“What?” she called back impateintly.

 

“You OK?”

 

“Fine”

 

She held her breath for a moment, but everything had fallen silent.  Breathing a sigh of relief to herself she bent down to paint her toe nails, she was planning on wearing her new pink flip flops today and therefore she had to have the right nails to match.  There was nothing like making yourself look perfect to mend a bad situation.

 

“Mel”

 

“What?”

 

“Are you busy today?”

 

She stopped immediately, her heart beating uncontrollably.  Any bad thought about him had left her head, he was asking if she was free, he wanted to spend the day with her.

 

“No why?” she asked cautiously.

 

“I have a special day planned,” he announced proudly.

 

It took her a further ten minutes to get ready and then they were off out of the door, Christian leading the way around the tubes and streets of London, refusing to say where they were going.

 

“What did I do to deserve this then?” she asked as they got out at Hyde Park Corner and hit the fresh air.

 

“It’s my way of saying sorry,” he said, “for last night.”

 

“Oh”

 

“I shouldn’t have done that with you there.”

 

Mel fell completely quiet.

“I don’t want you to see me like that.”

 

“Doesn’t matter”

 

“I told you that you wouldn’t like the real me”

 

“Course I like the real you,” she replied gently, picking up his hand and putting it into hers.

 

“How can you when I behave like that?”

 

“It’s OK I understand.”

 

“I don’t think you do,” he argued, “it’s not like I want to do what I do, it just kind of happens.”

 

“If you don’t want to do it then why do you?” she asked

 

“It makes me feel better”

 

“How?”

 

“Sleeping with a stranger gives me power.”

 

She turned to look at him in confusion, “how do you mean?”

 

“I can do what I want and be what I want and it makes me feel better about myself.”

 

“Oh”

 

“I know I shouldn’t do it,” he said, and she could tell just by looking at his face that he was deeply ashamed.

 

“Chris, you don’t have to tell me all this,” she said gently, giving his hand a little squeeze.

 

“I want to,” he replied, “I owe you an explanation.”

 

“You don’t”

 

“I do, you’re carrying my baby, staying in my house and I’m shagging around.”

 

“It’s OK,” she said.

 

They reached the large gate at Hyde Park and came to a sudden stop, he turned to look at her and smiled.

 

“Let’s just concentrate on today,” he said.

 

“So what is today?”

 

“Today is Hyde Park.”

 

“And …?” Mel replied, not really understanding what they were going to do in a London park all morning.

 

“Don’t you know anything about Hyde Park?” he mocked, “look around you.”

 

Walking right into the park Mel had a look around, and to her surprise saw things that she had never noticed before.  It was full of people having a really good time, sure there was the classic picnic scenes with people lying on the grass eating, chatting and sunbathing but there were other activities going on too, things she had never believed possible in the capital city.  All around the edge of the park on the little paths people were horse riding, rollerskating and riding bikes, towards the left there were a dozen brightly coloured boats moving along the water and along the way a bit a troupe of Star Trek fans were walking around an exhibition.

 

“It’s amazing,” she repiled.

 

“Great isnt it?  I was just going to suggest rollerblading, but in your condition I don’t think that’d be a very good idea.”

 

She laughed at him, “I’d be quite happy just sitting here actually.”

 

“You would? Wouldn’t you rather do something fun?”

 

“You don’t strike me as the kind of guy that would put on a pair of rollerblades,” she commented.

 

“I told you, you never really knew the real me.”

 

She sat down on the grass and patted a spot next to her, inviting him to join her.

 

“You sure you’re happy just sitting here doing nothing?”

 

“I’m fine just watching people,” she replied, “and maybe after the baby’s born we can go for that rollerblade.”

 

He smiled at her and settled down to enjoy the scenes around him.

 

“You come here a lot?” she asked.

 

“How’s that for an awful pick up line?” he smirked

 

“It was a serious question,” she frowned at him.

 

He laughed, “I come here sometimes, but it can be hard when I’m recognised.”

 

She examined the disguise he had on today and smiled.  It seemed amazing that people wouldn’t recognise him just because he was wearing a New York Yankees cap and a pair of designer sunglasses.

 

“Does it bother you getting recognised?” she asked

 

“Sometimes, I’m not really in this for the fame, I do it cos I love music.”

“You can tell”

 

“Is it that obvious?”

 

“Yeah, you always looked a bit uncomfortable around the fans.”

 

He looked up at her, “you never miss a thing do you?”

 

“Not when it comes to you,” she admitted shyly.

 

He sat in silence for a moment, pretending to be deeply interested in a grey squirrel that was dancing along the grass towards the tree they were sat underneath.

 

“I am sorry Mel,” he said suddenly.

 

“For what?”

 

“For mucking you around,” he said, “for making you pregnant.”

 

“It takes two.”

 

“I know, but I should have been more responsible.”

 

She shuffled along the grass until she was sat a bit closer to him, “it doesn’t matter Christian, I’m happy.”

 

“I am too,” he admitted, “I want this baby so much.”

 

His eyes glanced down at her stomach and his face was filled with so much joy that she wanted to cry.

 

“I never thought about having kids before,” he continued, “but suddenly it seems like the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

 

“I’m glad,” she whispered.

 

“This baby is going to save me,” he smiled, “I was so lost before.”

 

“Lost?”

 

“Yeah, I forgot what life was about, I forgot how much I loved music, how it feels to be inspired to write a song and I forgot what real love was about.”

 

“Love?” she stuttered.

 

“Yeah, what I had with Ella was nothing compared to this.”

 

“Compared to what?”

 

“Compared to what I feel for this baby, I love it so much and it’s not even here yet.”

 

Suddenly the tears that had threatned to fall came cascading down in a torrent of emotion.   She cried for the non-existent baby, for the lies she had told to the sweetest guy she had ever met, and for the words she was so sure she was about to hear.

 

“Things are going to change now,” he said deterimindly, “am going to make everything perfect for our baby.”

 

“Meaning?” she asked, hardly daring to ask.

 

“I want to do things properly.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I look at you and my baby and I feel so much,” he explained.

 

This was it, she knew this was it, finally it was going to happen, sure she had got it wrong before, but this time she knew she was right, she could feel it all around her, something about him had changed, he was looking at her differently.

 

“Mel, you are amazing, one of the most amazing girls I’ve ever met,” he turned to her and gripped tightly onto her hand, “I can tell you absolutely anything in the world and you know how to make me happy.”

 

She took a deep breath of air, helping the oxygen to pump to her head.  She had rehearsed this moment for years in front of the bedroom mirror but now it was here she wasn’t quite sure what to do.

 

“Things between us have changed,” he said.

 

“When?” she asked.

 

“I realised a while ago that I cared for you.”

 

“But what about last night?” she asked

 

“I was trying to clear my head.”

 

“And Ella?”

 

“I don’t care for her anymore,” he insisted.

 

“But only the other day you were saying she was the love of your life.”

 

“Things change.”

 

She looked at him with complete confusion.  “What are you trying to say?”

 

“I want to give it a go.”

 

“Give what a go?”

 

“Me and you.”

 

“Really?”

 

“I want us to be together properly.”

 

“You do?” she asked, hardly daring to believe it.

 

“I don’t know exactly what I feel for you yet,” he admitted, “but I think for our baby’s sake we should give it a go and see what happens.”

 

Mel sat and looked at him, completely stunned, if she went along with what he was saying then this was it, no going back.

 

“Say something Mel,” he urged.

 

“Yes,” she replied slowly.

 

“You feel the same?”

 

“Yes,” she said, completley in a daze.

 

“We will take it slowly,” he smiled, “I just want to be with you that’s all.”

 

She smiled up at him with pure joy.

 

“Thank you for giving me a chance” he said.

 

Then bending his head down towards hers he gave her a very quick peck on the lips.  It wasn’t the most amazing kiss in the world – but to Mel it meant everything.