***

Hi,

What happiness! I'm at home again! Good England. There's no place like home. I'm in a sentimental mood today, excuse me. It was great, seeing the green hills and the villages through the plane's window. Oh, I've seen the gray buildings, the gray clouds, felt the rain, and knew I was home at last. I cried. P said I'm a crying baby. No, I didn't cry. Just sniffed. I was glad to get rid of them for the next two weeks. Oh, I entered home and ran screaming happily to mommy and my sibs. Ok, I would do that, if they weren't at work and school. My daydream of mom's Indian food, which I dreamed in the plane – hey, it's a plane. A plane's food, ye know – just vanished. So I set on the couch with my puppy (she was the only one who didn't desert me! *sniff*) and watched TV and ate snakes till my sibs came home. You should see it! When I've just started with does tours my siblings had waited excitedly till I came home, with flower and half baked cake which they made themselves. And now?! "Hi Ben!" and they are already racing to the computer. Really, the kids of today! When mom came it was better. She hugged me and kissed me and made me feel loved and wanted. She was too tired to cook, so she shoved few schnitzels into the microwave. Schnitzels, that's it, for her elder son, who has just returned from a long tiring journey! I wanted to tell her everything, at least. But she couldn't hear. She said she has to see "Queer as Folk" on TV and ran to the living room. Have you ever heard such thing? I'm offended, to the bottom of my heart!

Ben.

***

Ben, are you sure you are not Israeli? I could swear you are, reading your complaints. Ha ha! Your siblings are really sweet. At least they used to prepare things for your arrival. I wish my brothers would care so much for me! And you have to forgive your ma. To watch "Queer as Folk" (the USA version, right?) is a holy rite. I wish my mom would watch it. But not with me, of course J . Once I've watched it with my brother. And it was a chapter… oops, an episode, with a very disturbing sex on the phone scene. Oh, it worse than just sex. And my little brother there!... well, never mind.

I'm happy too, but really. I will have a job! Indeed! In the zoo, during university. And I always thought it's funny there is a bus from the zoo to the university. Now it won't be just funny, but useful as well. I'll do closings (which means to bring the rhinos and giraffes back to their houses, putting more food and such) and Saturdays. You get paid well for Saturdays. I'll work in the birds department as well, and it will be a nice change. I'm so happy about that. The idea of my father that I'll volunteer in the zoo for this year was brilliant. Oh, it was on the way back from Abu Gosh, where we celebrated our workless situations in a good Arabian meal at a great restaurant… humus, kebab… yummy. Ok, I'm bone tired, so I'll stop. To do the hippos is exhausting. Bye.

Ashera.

***

Apollo: hi!!!

Artemis: hi! how r u?

Apollo: good, thanks, and u?

Artemis: fine. got over ur family's welcome?

Apollo: i'll never get over this L

Artemis: ben, i think ur awfully spoiled, ur family members' lives don't revolved around u… and i'll stop now before i'll become a real baptist preacher. what is a baptist preacher anyways?

Apollo: kill me, i don't know. what is it, to do the rhinos? this sentence really disturbs me.

Artemis: what? ah. no, it's nothing of the sort… ha ha, remind me once when we were in the "hai bar" (where the native israeli animals live) and A asked M where did our boss go. he said she went to finish the giraffes (means – cleaning their house), but all three of us understood him differently. we thought he said she went to f**k the giraffes. when we told him so he looked really alarmed.

Apollo: ha ha, comedies in the zoo.

Artemis: u have no idea. to do the hippos means to clean their pool. they shit inside the pool (ok, outside too) and twice a week we let the water out. what is left is a thick layer of "chocolate with nuts", and we clean it with tractor.

Apollo: nice

Artemis: our department produces the larger amount of feces in the zoo. what pride! and now tell me, i'm dying to hear, about london.

Apollo: well, it's raining.

Artemis: that's nice. and…

Apollo: well, what do u want to hear?

Artemis: how's the queen?

Apollo: she's fine. do u know i once sang to her?

Artemis: what? a serenade?

Apollo: *wrinkling forehead* i don’t think it's funny.

Artemis: why? cause she's like, thousand years old?

Apollo: i respect my queen.

Artemis: i will never understand the english. u r weirder then jews, now, that's an achievement. but i like u. now, that's a weird thing. never mind what nasty things the english had done, even the people that had suffered because of them still like them. why's that?

Apollo: we hadn't done nasty things!

Artemis: oh, no, not at all. i'm not blaming u or something, every big powerful state is mean. i just wonder.

Apollo: well, u told me u r going to study philosophy.

Artemis: it's not a philosophic wonder, i guess it's about psychology.

Apollo: and i'm afraid it's too sophisticated for me.

Apollo: have u ever been to london?

Artemis: why should i? i mean, there are more movies in london, and there is a good music in london, and there is a great tv in london, and the people in london are kinder. but i'll be alone there, too.

Apollo: ?

Artemis: it's a song.

Apollo: ah. i like it.

Artemis: i've been there with my ma, actually, a year and a half ago.

Apollo: and did u like it?

Artemis: well, i've been in love with london… and england, before i even lay a foot on its soil. i thought the city suited me exactly, old and new mixed together and all that crap. and i totally fall for it the moment i've seen the green hills out of the plane's window. it reminded me the books of Enid Blightone, about the four kids and the dog? and on the way to london, in a taxi of ex-israelies, with the steering wheel on the other side, all the green, the farms and the wooden fences… oh, i become sentimental. but it was amazing for me, a little girl from a desert.

Apollo: i'm glad u liked it. i know old england is the best place in the world *smiling proudly*. what do u remember most?

Artemis: the subway and how i was always frightened that i wouldn't find a loo when i'd need one desperately.

Apollo: oh

Artemis: u have no idea what a subway is for I girl who lives on buses, that never come on time of course. and about the toilet, it's not u it's me. i can hardly ever pee in public toilet, unless i'm desperate, and even then i have problems. i don't know why. maybe cause i think it's so funny and embarrassing that strangers can hear it.

Apollo: hear what?

Artemis: the noise of the pee.

Apollo: jesus u r weird.

Artemis: i am weird, thank u, but in this case i know that there r other girls who feel the same.

Apollo: so ur whole sex is weird.

Artemis: at least we r not big babies like u. and at least our life is interesting with the peeing problems, make up problems, clothing problems and total crushes on people we don't even know. i'm sure many guys fancy famous girls too, but i guess it's a pure sexual thing. we r more… involved emotionally?

Apollo: i think u r right. now isn't it stupid?

Artemis: but it makes life more interesting. what would i do without staring drooling at the pictures of Gale Harold in my computer? without my beloved fanfiction?...

Apollo: r u really write fanfiction?

Artemis: sure, with pleasure.

Apollo: about a1?

Artemis: yeah, also.

Apollo: what have u wrote about them?

Artemis: why, r u a fan?

Apollo: i'm just interested, that's all. u don't have to tell me if u don't want to *offended*

Artemis: i'm sorry. of course i want to tell u. i'm egocentric like all writers. i have two a1 only fics in my forum, and they r my weakest fics, really. the first is about a housemaid that comes to live in their apartment and all that. the boys r pretty boring there. u know, too perfect, without real characters, well, except for ben. he is a little bastard there, but he had a right to be one. there r pretty amusing things there, though.

Apollo: what was the reason?

Artemis: *wonders* what reason? oh, senile Ashera goes again. Apparently the little housemaid was his youth love and she doesn't remember it, so he's offended. told u it was lame.

Apollo: and what's the end?

Artemis: she leaves him.

Apollo: WHY?

Artemis: her brother/his best friend died in the army, and she's the one to tell him this, and she loves him but know it will always shade over their relationship, so she leaves.

Apollo: it's very sad.

Artemis: yeah. but the worse thing is that i wrote it was humor on the beginning, for i was afraid some of the things would offend some of the hard fans (if there r any hard a1 fans in israel… but me… and i'm in a real doubt about it).

Apollo: and what about the second?

Artemis: a little refreshing (or suppose to be) romance. a1 r in vacation in eilat and ben meets the love of his life, a funny girl named ashtoret, which is a goddess too, by the why. it was pretty good at the beginning, but the end what an awful kitsch. a proposal. it was stupid, cause after all u can't know people really in a vacation. vacation people and routine people r total different kind. when i think about it now, just one sentence in the end, just one – and they had got divorced after a year – would have made the story so much better. the only good thing in the end was that they had cried all the time. it was quite amusing.

Apollo: and that's it? no more a1?

Artemis: i have few more a1ners on fics with others, nsync and Gale Harold. one of them, the best story i have ever wrote, contains ben.

Apollo: really?

Artemis: yeah. he is a ghost there, though.

Apollo: A GHOST? u mean he's dead?

Artemis: yes, ghosts r dead people, silly. he had lived in england in the 19^th century and died of tuberculosis. he's not the main character… Gale *sigh* and Yasmin (the girl) r. he's sort of a good boy that sometimes surprise u with his cheeky remarks. i have 'im on two love fics too…

Apollo: *exited* u do! tell me.

Artemis: why r u so exited? ben, do u want to tell me something?

Apollo: …like what?

Artemis: do u feel anything for him?

Apollo: *shocked* WHAT?

Artemis: don't worry. i think that homosexual relationship is sexy, and…

Apollo: i'm not a homosexual.

Artemis: sorry…

Apollo: r the girls nice?

Artemis: what girls?

Apollo: in ur love fics.

Artemis: yes… they r nice…

Apollo: what's wrong?

Artemis: they r not exactly girls…

Apollo: WHAT?

Artemis: they r Gale an jc.

Artemis: ben?

Artemis: ben?!

Apollo: yes, i'm here.

Artemis: i'm quite jealous.

Apollo: why?

Artemis: he's seen Gale naked…

Apollo: who?

Artemis: ben adams.

Apollo: oh.

Artemis: the prick has seen GALE naked!... ok, half naked… and i've seen Gale half naked too… no, more then half naked, actually, i've seen everything except of the, um, important bits? oh, the ass… THE ASS… god, i need a cold shower. but ben has seen him half naked alive, i mean, in the story… the bastard.

Apollo: ok.

Artemis: what's wrong?

Apollo: i have to go now.

Artemis: *worried* u will email me, right?

Apollo: sure.

Artemis: promise?

Apollo: yes J