Chapter Twenty-Four
Okay, this is getting beyond funny now. Chris thought to himself as he sat alone, again,
at an empty table on the CD:UK canteen. Was it him? Were all the clocks in his
house set ten minutes ahead of the time they should be or were the others’
clocks all slow? Chris couldn’t work it out. Why was he always the first one
here?! Well in that case, next time he… oooh, hello.
Chris saw Mark come through the double doors at the other end of the
canteen accompanied by a rather self-conscious looking but incredibly beautiful
girl. That must be Rose. Well Mark certainly had good taste, Chris couldn’t
deny him that. How old was she again? Sixteen or seventeen, Chris couldn’t
remember but he had to stop himself considering whether that was too young for
him. Apart from the fact that she was Mark’s girlfriend, even if they did split
up Christian would have no chance with her. She’d never look at him after being
with Mark. That would be like going to see Michael Jackson in concert and then
going to see The Tweenies. But it was annoying. She was just Chris’s type and
even better, she didn’t look like she came from around here. London girls might
be gorgeous looking, but all things considered, they were a pain.
Mark spotted Christian and waved. As him and Rose started to come over,
Christian tried very hard to not go into chatting up mode. That wouldn’t go
down too well with Mark he didn’t think.
“Alright mate? First here again? That’s gotta be a new world record.”
Mark said, sitting down at the table opposite Chris and motioning for Rose to
do the same.
“I’m presuming this is Rose?” Chris asked, smiling friendlily at Rose.
“It certainly is.” Mark said.
“Hi Rose.” Chris said, extending his right hand to her.
“Hi.” Rose said, shaking it. “How are you?”
“Ah that’s very sweet of you, I’m good thanks. How are you enjoying your
CD:UK experience?”
“Well I’ve only just got here really but it’s pretty good so far.
Canteen’s great, corridors are lovely, tasteful décor…” Rose grinned.
Mark observed their conversation happily. It was amazing, Rose seemed to
be able to get on with anyone instantly. She was such a friendly, chatty
person, which Mark loved about her. She didn’t have any airs or graces and
never expected people to behave a certain way around her. It was strange though
because Mark also gathered that she was quite shy so he wondered how she
managed to chat so effortlessly to anyone who’d chat to her. Maybe it was her
politeness. She was very polite and well mannered, not in a posh way but in a
nice can-be-taken-anywhere-and-won’t-embarrass-you way. So maybe she chatted to
people because it was the polite thing to do. Well whatever it was, Mark liked
it and he could easily see why Chloe had chosen her as a best friend. Who
wouldn’t want a best friend like her? She was caring, understanding, kind,
loving, bubbly…
“My goodness, is this a trick of the light or is that Ben arriving on
time and not last?!” Chris exclaimed in amazement.
Mark looked round and saw Ben and Chloe coming through the canteen
doors.
“I think it might be. Brace yourselves, here come Couple of the Year
2001.”
“Why couple of the year?” Chris asked.
“Well look at them! They couldn’t look more in love if they tired. When
Chloe’s not looking at Ben, Ben’s looking at her and the other way round. Look,
it’s happening now!” Mark pointed to where they where they were standing.
Chloe was scanning the crowd for Rose and Mark and Ben was just looking
at Chloe. Mark wasn’t sure he even realised he was doing it but you had to
admit, it was pretty sweet.
“Oh yeah, aw bless. And they make such a cute couple too.” said Rose,
waving to Chloe.
“They do actually, they kinda match.” Chris observed as Chloe and Ben
approached the table.
Rose got up and gave Chloe a huge hug.
“I’ve got so much to tell you.” she said quietly as they hugged.
“Me too.” Chloe replied.
“Hiya!” she said to Mark as her
and Rose sat back down. She smiled shyly at Chris. “Hi.”
“Oh sorry, Chris this is Chloe.” Ben said, remembering he hadn’t
introduced them.
“Hi Chloe.” Chris said.
“I think you probably know who Chris is.” Ben said, smiling.
Chloe grinned. “Yes, I do.”
“Well I should think so too, being the world famous pop star that I am.”
Chris joked in his American-Norwegian drawl.
“When did you get here?” Ben asked Mark.
“Only a few minutes ago.”
“Paul not here yet?”
“Oh god, where have I heard that before?” Mark groaned.
“Don’t worry, he’ll be here. He didn’t go out last night; he was still
recovering when I spoke to him. Has anyone checked the list yet?”
“No. I was going to and then I forgot.”
“It’s okay, we’ll do it.” Ben volunteered, standing up with Chloe.
“Get the dressing room keys as well, will you?” Mark requested. “I
haven’t seen Del yet this morning.”
“Okay.”
Ben and Chloe headed back off through the canteen.
“Where’s the list?” Chloe asked as they walked down a corridor.
“Usually pinned up outside the office where we get the dressing room
keys from.”
“Where’s that?”
“Not far, just along a few corridors.”
They walked in silence for a few minutes until Chloe said,
“Ben.”
“Yeah?”
“Do we have to be kind of less couply here?” she asked.
Ben stopped walking. “What? Why?”
“Well coz it’s like a magazine TV show, they always have backstage photos
and if we get photographed being all together then people are going to know
that you have a girlfriend.”
“So?”
“But I thought you wouldn’t want people to know.”
Ben sighed. “This is what I hate about being famous.” He said, leaning
against the wall. “And under any other circumstances, I’d try really hard to
keep the fact that I have a girlfriend quiet. Not coz it’d decrease my
popularity or anything if people found out, just because it’s no-one else’s
business. But with you, I don’t know, everything’s different. It’s all happened
so fast, but I am so much in love with you that I don’t think I care about
anything else. I want people to know, I don’t want to have to keep something
like this a secret. Plus, we’ve already been seen together; word gets around
pretty quick so chances are most people know, or have heard a rumour already.”
“And you don’t mind? About people knowing? Coz usually bands, they lie
about things like girlfriends. Even if there’s evidence, they still deny it.”
Ben nodded. “I know. But it’s in case things don’t work out. It’s hard
enough when you split up without the whole world knowing about it. And I always
said if things ever got serious with a girl, I’d be honest with the fans. Coz I
wouldn’t want to lie if I was that happy.” Ben said, gently taking hold of
Chloe’s arms and drawing her closer to him.
“Is it?” Chloe asked. “Serious?” she breathed, their faces only inches
apart.
“I don’t know. It could be.” Ben said quietly, kissing Chloe. She
responded by wrapping her arms around his neck as he held her tightly around
the waist.
“I don’t want you to worry, okay? If people find out, they find out. If
they can’t be happy for me then they’re just going to have to find someone else
to like.” Ben said defiantly.
“But what about the fans? Won’t they be really angry? There’s been loads
of stories of fans being really horrible to pop stars’ girlfriends. What if I
get attacked or something?” Chloe asked, only half joking.
“I won’t let that happen.” Ben vowed.
“But you can’t be there all the time.”
“I know. But if something bad does happen to you because of us, all I
need to do is talk about it in a magazine and it’ll stop.”
Chloe still looked unsure.
“I promise you. Everything will be fine.”
Ben gave Chloe a hug.
“I’m not going to pretend that this is going to be like a normal
relationship, or that it’s gonna be easy, coz I think you know it’s not.” Ben
said, arms still around Chloe. “But whatever happens, whoever knows, whatever
people say, just remember that I love you.”
“I will.” Chloe said. “And I don’t care if things are hard because as
long as I have you, then I can cope with anything. You’re everything I need.”
Ben just hugged Chloe tighter.
“Come on, we should probably go and get the keys.”
“Yeah okay. We don’t have to be less couply then?” Chloe asked, just to
make sure.
“No, we don’t. I only have you for the weekend and I fully intend to
make the most of it.” Ben said, linking hands with Chloe. “In fact, I think we
should be extra extra couply today.”
“No! Ben, we can’t!”
“Why not?”
“You can’t flaunt the fact you have a girlfriend, that’s not fair on the
fans.”
“Fine, be boring.”
“Seriously though Ben, they’re not going to accept me if you quite
blatantly don’t care how they feel about it. You know they’re gonna hate me
anyway, I don’t want to make it worse.”
“I suppose. They won’t hate you though.”
“Of course they will! It’s their job. Even if they don’t want to be with
you, they won’t want me to be with you either. I’m instantly the enemy coz in
their eyes; I’m an evil money grabbing bitch who’ll only break your heart.”
“Really?”
“Really what? I hope you’re not asking if I’m an evil money grabbing
bitch who’s going to break your heart coz if you are, I might have to seriously
injure you.” Chloe warned.
“Of course I’m not asking that! You’re not going to break my heart, are
you?”
“Ben, I don’t have it in me to hurt you. That’s the last thing I would
ever do. You should know that.”
“Just checking.” Ben said. “Is that really what fans think about
girlfriends?”
“Yeah! Didn’t you know that?”
“Why aren’t they just happy that we’re happy?”
Chloe smiled. “So young, so naïve… It doesn’t work like that.” she
informed him.
“Oh. So…” Ben said, a thought occurring to him. “does that mean that you
hated my last girlfriend?”
Chloe thought. “Well, yeah, I guess. I mean, I didn’t know about her,
but if I’d have read about her in a magazine or something I doubt she’d have
been my most favourite person in the world. It probably sounds horrible, bit
it’s just a reflex response really. I wanted to make sure you weren’t going to
get hurt, and the only way I could be sure that you wouldn’t, is if you were
with me.”
“Interesting dating a fan.” Ben said.
“Do you think I’m horrible now?” Chloe asked. “Coz I’m just being
honest. And it’s not even really about your ex-girlfriend, she’s probably a
really nice person. It’s just how it is.”
“I don’t think you’re horrible, don’t be stupid! Like I said, it’s
interesting.”
“I can’t believe you didn’t know that fans thought like that! Surely you
really fancied someone famous before you were in a1 and got jealous when they
had a boyfriend.”
“Well Catherine Zeta Jones I guess, but mainly I just wanted to sleep
with her.” Ben confessed.
Chloe rolled her eyes. “Honestly, you guys have no sense of emotion.”
She said with a grin.
a1 weren’t going to be on until after the third break so they didn’t
need to even think about going into make-up for at least another hour. A short
while later, Ben, Paul, Mark and Chris were all sitting round the same table in
the canteen. Chloe and Rose had gone off in search of the loos when Del
approached the table carrying two of the day’s tabloid newspapers. The guys
looked up as he stopped by the table and without saying a word, he put both the
papers down in front of Ben.
Ben looked up at him. “What?” he asked.
Del just looked at Ben and then back down at the newspapers. Ben
followed his gaze and his relaxed expression changed as he saw what was on the
front pages. There were two different pictures of him and Chloe leaving the
hotel on Tuesday morning, and the headlines read in big bold capital letters:
and
“Shit.” Ben said.
Mark leaned over and saw what Ben had just seen. “What?!”
“What’s that all about?” Del asked.
As Ben looked up to reply, he saw Chloe and Rose walking towards them,
chatting happily.
“Oh god, don’t show Chloe.” He said, turning the papers over to hide the
headlines just in time.
“You’ll never guess who we just saw!” Chloe said excitedly.
“Who?” Mark asked.
“Faye from Steps!!” Rose almost shouted.
“Yeah, and she said hi to us!! It was so exciting!” Chloe giggled.
Ben forced a smile. “That’s great.” He said.
“I know, I almost fell over when she said hi! Oooh, any a1 gossip in the
papers today? Anything I should know?!” Chloe asked, smiling at Ben.
“Um, no, er nothing.” Ben said, folding his arms even more firmly on top
of the two newspapers.
Chloe noticed this and looked at him, trying to work out what was wrong.
“What were you looking at then?”
“Oh, um, nothing.”
Chloe looked puzzled. “No, what? Show me!”
Ben started to look uneasy and exchanged glances with Mark.
“You don’t need to see it Clo.”
“But what is it? Ben…”
Ben sighed. “Look I don’t want you to get all upset, it’s not
important.”
“But it obviously is if you don’t want me to see it.” Chloe said,
getting cross now. “Just show me.”
“Show her Ben.” Mark said.
Ben turned the papers over and pushed them across the table to where
Chloe was still standing up. She read the headline and all the colour drained
out of her face.
“Oh my god. But… we didn’t… that’s not true!” Chloe stammered, staring
horrified at the papers in front of her.
Ben got up. “Clo, don’t worry about it, it’s just a story.” He said,
putting a hand on her arm.
“But people will think… oh my god, everyone here will have seen this.
And everyone I know. And they don’t even know.” Chloe said despairingly.
“They don’t know about us?” Ben asked confusedly.
“No. I… I haven’t told them.”
“Why not?”
There was a silence.
“In case it didn’t last.” Chloe said quietly.
Ben looked stunned.
The atmosphere around the table suddenly became very awkward. Rose
looked at Mark.
“Um, Ben do you want… shall we leave you two alone?” Mark asked.
“No it’s fine.” Ben said, still looking at Chloe. “In case it didn’t
last?” he asked her slowly.
“I didn’t mean that.”
“Why did you say it then?”
“I don’t know, it came out wrong. I meant that… um…”
“Do you really think it’s not going to last?” Ben asked.
“No, I…”
“Is it something to do with me, or is it because you’re not planning to
stay with me for very long?”
“No, Ben, it’s not like that!”
“Well what is it like then?”
“Please can we not discuss this here?” Chloe pleaded, tears forming in
her eyes.
“Fine, come with me.” Ben said, heading across the canteen.
Chloe followed him through several corridors to a1’s dressing room. Once
inside, Ben closed the door behind them. He didn’t say anything, just looked at
Chloe. She could see the hurt in his eyes.
“What do you want me to say Ben?” she asked.
“I don’t know.” Ben said. “I just… don’t you want it to last?” he asked.
“Of course I do! You know that!”
Ben shook his head. “I thought I did.”
“Ben…”
“So is it something to do with me?” he asked.
“No.” Chloe said, maybe a little too quickly.
“Don’t you think I can tell when you’re lying?” Ben said disappointedly.
“It is something to do with me. Well what? Tell me!”
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because it might not be true.”
“What might not be true?” Ben asked, knowing he was getting closer to
the truth but not entirely sure he wanted to know what it was.
“It was just something I heard, and anyway it’s not to do with that…
really.”
“Well what is it to do with then?”
“I just didn’t want to tempt fate, okay? Everything seemed too perfect;
I suddenly had everything that I ever wanted and it was all going exactly how I
always dreamed it would. I just thought that if I started to tell people, if
something went wrong I’d look really stupid.” Chloe explained.
“But…why did you think something would go wrong?” Ben asked more calmly,
trying to understand where Chloe was coming from.
“Because it always does. Things are great and easy and simple and then
something happens that makes everything go wrong. It’s not a big deal, I expect
it now, but I thought that if I didn’t go around telling everyone about how
great everything was, there might be a chance that things would go right, just
this once. Because that’s all I want. But it’s happened already. Everything’s
gone wrong. In like, one minute, everything’s gone wrong.” Chloe said, cracks
appearing in her voice.
“What’s gone wrong?” Ben asked, coming closer to Chloe.
“This! This was never meant to happen, this wasn’t the plan. And the
newspaper. How can I ever talk to anyone ever again?”
“I told you it wouldn’t be easy…”
“Yeah but I never expected that! And this right now, this isn’t anything
to do with you being famous or anything like that. It’s just me, again. Me, who
wrecks everything I touch.”
Ben looked at Chloe, shocked at her outburst.
“Do you really think that?”
“Oh yeah coz I’d say it if I didn’t think it. Just for fun, y’know.”
“But Clo…”
“Look, it doesn’t matter, anyway. It’s not important. Let’s just
go…back.” Chloe said, turning to open the door.
Ben grabbed her arm. “It does matter.” He said, a pained expression on
his face. “Because it’s making you upset and that’s not right. I didn’t know
you felt like that.”
“Well there’s a lot you don’t know about me.” Chloe said, slightly
harshly.
“But I want to know. I want to know everything. Even tiny stupid little
things that have no bearing on anything.” Ben smiled. “But I can’t know them if
you won’t tell me. Why didn’t you tell me this was worrying you?”
“Because it’s not important. It’s just me and my stupid brain.”
“But that’s the whole point! I want to know how you think, how your
stupid brain works, coz otherwise I can’t be there for you when you need me to
be.”
“But if you knew all that, I’d need you all the time. And that’s not
fair on you. You shouldn’t have to look after me.”
“But I want to. Chloe, I can’t bear the thought that there are things
eating away at you inside that you’re not telling me, just for my sake?! That
doesn’t make sense.”
“Exactly. I don’t make sense. The way I see things, what I make
of stuff, it’s not…” Chloe shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s not like everyone
else.”
“But that’s why I love you. Coz you’re not like everyone else.
You’re different, interesting…”
“Coz I’m a freak.”
“No! You’re not, you’re special.”
“Polite word for freak. And I’m not anyway. Special. No more so than
anyone else.”
“I think you are.”
“Well then you’re a fool.” Chloe said with a grin.
“I know.” Ben said, hugging Chloe.