Chapter Fifty-Seven

Half an hour later, Ben had given up on drinking. It wasn’t making him feel any better, and it wasn’t masking his worry about what Rose was going to say to Chloe in the way he’d hoped it would. In fact, it was almost accenting it, which really wasn’t what Ben needed. He’d decided that what he did need was to talk to Rose and sort things out, which was why he was currently working the crowds, looking for her. And, oh, he’d just found her, coming out of the kitchen.

“Rose!” he called, heading in her direction.

“Not interested, Ben.” She said, carrying on walking.

“No, please, listen: I need to talk to you.”

“I’ve heard it already.”

“No, you haven’t!” Ben said. “Please, just give me a chance.”

Rose sighed. “One minute.”

“I really do love Chloe.” Ben started.

“That’s what they all say.”

“But I really do! You’ve seen me with her; you must know that I mean it.”

“Some people are very good at lying.”

“I’m not lying!” Ben protested. “I’d do anything for Chloe, absolutely anything, and I’m sorry for what I said to Paul earlier. I don’t know why I said it, and I know I shouldn’t have, but it was just a stupid mistake, and if you tell Chloe about it you’ll ruin everything!”

“Ruin everything? Ben, do you realise how pathetic you sound?”

“Rose, please, I’m desperate.” Ben begged. “You don’t understand how much it… scares me to think about losing her, because I need her. She’s part of me, and I can’t… I can’t do anything without her. Look at me! I’m a mess!”

Ben realised – with horror – that he was on the verge of crying. Just saying what he’d said… it really brought it home to him. Even though they’d only been together for a matter of weeks, he did need Chloe. He needed her every second of every minute of every single day. And more than all that, he needed her right now.

“Do you know what? I don’t care anymore.” Ben said suddenly, without giving a surprised Rose a chance to react. “Chloe is my everything, and I know that, and I know she knows that, and I don’t have to prove anything to you. I don’t care if you approve of me or not, and I think you’re wrong, actually Rose, I think that if Chloe had to choose, she’d choose me over you, every single time, because I can give her everything that you can, and more, so why would she need you and your malicious stirring when she’s got me?” Ben said meanly, before turning his back on a dumbstruck Rose and walking away from her across the hall.

He didn’t know where all that had come from, maybe it was the drink talking, and he had the dulled feeling that he’d just created a very difficult situation for himself, but all that mattered to him right now was seeing Chloe, and, right now, that was what he was going to do.

“So that’s where you’ve been hiding, Ben.” Chris said, appearing in front of Ben from the throngs of anonymous people, stopping him in his tracks. “Enjoying yourself yet?”

“I’m going to see Chloe.” Ben said, pushing past him and continuing to walk, intent on letting nothing stand in his way or deter him from his new goal.

And he didn’t like Kate, anyway. He wasn’t going to stand there and watch them be all sweet together, and have to pretend to be civil to her. He had the feeling he might just say something he’d regret much more than what he’d just said to Rose if put in that uncomfortable situation.

“You’re what?!” Chris called after him, but Ben hardly heard.

He’d never wanted to see Chloe more than he did at that moment, and he was so desperate to be there now that he wished he could run all the way there. A cab, however, was an altogether more sensible idea. So he’d do that, no matter what it cost. Anything to be with Chloe tonight.

“Where’s he going?” Kate asked Chris.

“I think he said something about seeing Chloe, but that can’t be right: Chloe lives miles away!” Chris said, trying to see through the crowd after Ben.

“I don’t think he likes me very much, you know.” Kate said.

“Why not?” Chris asked with surprised.

“Oh, I dunno, might just be my imagination.”

“Has he said something to you?”

“Oh, no! I just get the impression that I’m not his favourite person at the moment.” Kate said.

“I think Rose is the one who’s not his favourite person at the moment.” Chris said. “He really should just let it be, he’s making it worse.”

“You can tell me it’s none of my business, but I kinda feel like I’ve come in half way through the film. What’s going on with them?” Kate asked.

“Oh, it’s a long story. I don’t even really know!” Chris said. “Rose is pissed off with Ben coz he was talking to Paul about Chloe, or something. Who knows? With Ben it could be anything!”

“And Chloe’s his girlfriend, yeah?”

“Oh, yeah! I forget you don’t know all this. Shows how long it’s been since I talked to someone who doesn’t know every single detail of my life. Chloe’s Ben’s girlfriend, Rose is Chloe’s best friend, Rose is dating Mark.” Chris said.

“And Rose is the one I met earlier?” Kate asked.

“Yeah.”

“Rose is quite young, isn’t she?” Kate asked. “Or, she looks it.”

“Ah, yes. Rose is 16.”

“How old’s Mark!?” Kate asked, looking surprised.

Chris smiled. “22.”

“Oh.”

“It’s age-gap city.” Chris said.

“So… is Chloe the same age?”

“She’s 15.”

“Wow, that’s really young!”

“Yeah, I know.”

“I don’t mean to sound rude, but what’s Ben doing with a 15 year old? He’s like, my age, isn’t he?”

“More or less, I think.” Chris said. “Don’t tell him I said this, but I have no idea what he’s doing. I mean, Chloe’s lovely, she’s a really nice girl, but she’s still at school! And plus, she lives like, two hours away and they’re never gonna get to see each other, anyway. I just think they’re gonna be really bad for each other. Exactly what each of them doesn’t need.”

“How do you mean?”

“I just don’t think they’re right for each other. They’re not well suited at all!”

“Yeah, but how?” Kate asked.

“It’s hard to explain. I just think that the whole relationship is going to totally screw Ben up because Chloe is so different to him and doesn’t know what he needs. And then Ben doesn’t realise that Chloe’s still just a teenager, and without wanting to sound too melodramatic, I just think that Ben’s gonna make Chloe try to grow up too soon.” Chris said.

“Do you think so?”

“Yeah! I don’t wanna interfere, or anything, and it’s not my place to say, but I think it’s all gonna end in tears. I know Ben thinks he’s madly in love with Chloe, but it’s all happened too fast, it… oh, I dunno! I don’t wanna get into it now, just makes me confused!”

“Okay, well let’s talk about something else.” Kate suggested. “Coz I don’t really understand the situation anyway.”

“Yeah, let’s talk about you.” Chris said.

“Me?”

“Yeah! I wanna know all about you!”

“It’s really boring.” Kate said. “There’s really nothing to tell.”

“You’re an author! That’s interesting! I’m fascinated, in fact.”

“Yeah, but you’re a pop star, it’s all gonna seem really lame to the level of fame you’re used to.” Kate said.

“But that’s all kinda normal to me now. These days I find more interest in people who aren’t celebrities.” Chris said. “So tell me about you.”

“Nooooo, it’s boring!” Kate protested.

“You are going to tell me about you.” Chris said.

“Is that a threat?”

“I think it might be, actually.” Chris said with a smile. “But before you launch into the life history of Kate, shall we go and find somewhere a bit quieter? I can hardly hear myself think in here!”

“Er, yeah, okay.” Kate agreed. “But not about the life history bit, I’m only agreeing to the change of scenery.”

“Well we’ll see about that.” Chris said. “Where shall we go?”

“You can’t make me tell you!” Kate said with a giggle. “I’d love to suggest going back down to the den, but I think I saw Natalie heading in that direction with a guy about half an hour ago, so…”

“Maybe we’ll find somewhere else!” Chris said.

“Yeah, think that’d be a good idea.”

“Well you know this house much better than I do, so you suggest somewhere.”

“Erm… well all I can think of is one of the bedrooms upstairs. There’s about seven of them, I think. There’s like, a door system; if the door’s closed you don’t go in.” Kate said, grinning at Chris. “I won’t elaborate on that any further.”

“No, I think I get where you’re going with that one.” Chris said.

“But if we find an empty one and close the door we can sit in there and talk, or whatever, and hopefully get a bit of peace and quiet.”

“Okay, great, let’s do that then.”

“Now the main thing’s gonna be finding one that no-one’s in.” Kate said as they pushed through the throngs of people and out into the emptier hallway.

“Is there likely to be a waiting list?” Chris asked.

Kate laughed. “When I was at uni there were always loads of house parties when people went home for the holidays and stuff, and sometimes we actually had a rota for who used the bedrooms and when.”

“No!”

“Yes! It was terrible! I think you could have an hour slot, and if you weren’t, erm, finished by then you got chucked out! I never did that, in case you were wondering. It’s never really been my thing. You know, one night stands and all that.”

Thank God for that, thought Chris. He’d been getting a bit worried that Kate seemed to know an awful lot about that kinda thing! He didn’t want her to be like… well, like Ben and Paul, actually.

“The thought didn’t cross my mind.” He assured her.

“No, well, a couple of my friends did the whole casual flings thing, but at most parties I was usually the person standing in the corner. Not in the room where… I’m just gonna not talk now, okay?” Kate said, blushing again.

She was so cute when she was embarrassed, Chris thought, although he didn’t know why she got embarrassed so often. God, he was being a total loser tonight, she was doing much better than he was!!

They climbed the stairs in silence, picking their way past the party-goers sitting on the steps who were slightly worse for wear after several hours of free alcohol. The stairs themselves were carpeted in plush royal red and had two flights to them, with a mini-landing in the middle. When they got to the top they were greeted by yet more classily decorated space. The landing itself was big and wide, curving round to the left. There were doors of various designs lining the walls, each no doubt leading to yet more elegance, tainted only by the people occupying them at that moment.

“Okay, look for an open door.” Kate said as they walked slowly along the upstairs hallway.

They passed one closed door, two closed doors, three closed doors, four closed doors, five closed doors, before coming to one that was slightly ajar.

“Is that open?” Chris asked.

“Or just careless?” Kate finished for him with a grin.

“Careless stroke desperate.” Chris amended, grinning back.

“Yup. So what do you think? Do we go in?”

“I dunno. I don’t wanna walk in on anything!”

“Oh God, I did that once.” Kate said, grimacing at the memory.

“You didn’t?!”

“I diiiid! It was horrible!”

“How? What happened?”

“Well it was at uni, and I was sharing a dorm with this girl, Monika, and she was a bit notorious for using guys, not that they minded, coz most of the uni lot were only up for a quick shag. But anyway, I knew that she often had guys back to the room, so I was careful in the evenings, always letting her know how long I’d be out for, never coming back early, knocking even if I had my key; it was a pain, but anything to keep me from seeing what she was doing! Except this horrible horrible time it was the middle of the day and I’d just had the English class from hell, and all I wanted to do was have a nice long bath and unwind, so I innocently walked into our dorm, and, well, just ew!” Kate said, putting her hands over her eyes.

“What did you do?” Chris asked.

“Well as soon as I saw… that, I just wanted to scrape my eyes out and reset my memory, but I’d have settled for slinking away quietly to save the embarrassment on all our parts, but Monika saw me, and I was just like, argh, what do I do?! So I just sorta muttered, “Oops, wrong room!” and left! I was sooooo embarrassed! And she thought it was hilarious, of course, but let me tell you it was not hilarious from where I was standing.” Kate said.

“Oh God, that’s bad! At least it wasn’t someone walking in on you, though!” Chris said.

“No, but it was still gross! Why, has that happened to you?” Kate asked with interest.

Chris was about to answer when he realised he was talking about sex with a girl he’d known approximately 24 hours! What was he doing?! You don’t talk about that with someone you don’t know! He might as well sign up for the Loser Academy of Complete and Utter Losers right now!

“Erm, yeah. So, are we gonna go in?” Chris asked, attempting to deftly change the subject.

“Ohhh no you don’t!” Kate said. “I told you my embarrassing story, now you tell me yours.”

“It really is very embarrassing.” Chris said.

“Go on, tell me! I won’t tell anyone!” Kate cajoled.

“Oh, okay.” Chris said, leaning against the wall. “I’ll spare you the details, though.”

“Okay.”

“I think I was about 17, and I had the afternoon off school for some reason, so me and my girlfriend had gone back to my house coz everyone was out, and we sort of got a little bit carried away in the living room. And you know when you have like, major attack of the hormones you lose all common sense? Well I’d forgotten that it was the day when my mom had her book group…”

Kate gasped. “Oh nooo…”

“And so me and this girl were… y’know, on the sofa, and my mom and about six of her friends walked in, and I just wanted to die, I have never been so embarrassed in my whole life!”

Kate put a hand over her mouth. “Oh my God, that must have been awful! Okay, you beat me, hands down! That’s way more embarrassing than mine!”

“Thank you.” Chris said.

“But, what did you say? What did your mum say?! Was she quite strict, or not?”

“She’s a pretty cool mom, but I don’t think I’ll ever forget the look on her face when she realised what we were doing. I think she was more cross about the impression it gave to her friends than catching us in the living room, but I got quite a talking to!”

Kate laughed. “I don’t think I’d recover from an experience like that! I’d be in therapy ‘til I was 80!”

“Oh believe me, I’ve been trying to forget about it!” Chris said. “So shall we go in, or not?”

“Can you just stick your head round the door and check?” Kate asked.

“Alright.” Chris said. “But if I accumulate another mental scar, you’re paying for my asylum bills.”

“Deal.”

Chris hesitantly pushed the door open a bit more, just enough for him to get his head round and take a quick look. Thankfully the room was totally empty, except, that was, for the enormous four-poster bed against one of the walls.

“All clear.” He said to Kate, opening the door properly and letting her walk through before closing it.

“Wow, it’s been a while since I was in one of these rooms. I’d forgotten how nice they are!” Kate said, wandering around. “Ooh, it’s dark outside, isn’t it?” she said, going over to the window. “What time is it?”

“I haven’t got a watch on.” Chris said, joining her by the huge bay window. “It looks later than I thought it was, though.”

“Yeah, me too.”

As they stood side by side at the window looking out over the illuminated swimming pool and miles of grounds, Chris put his arm lightly around Kate’s waist. She looked up at him and smiled, and moved in closer to him.

“What I wouldn’t give to live here.” She said with a sigh.

“Maybe we should take all the money from my next single and your next book and buy a big house like this with it.” Chris joked.

Kate smiled again. “I think I could live with that.”

They stood in the silence of each other’s company, taking in the view for a good few minutes before Kate broke Christian’s hold, and walked over to the bed. She sat down, and patted a space next to her, signalling for Chris to join her.

“So, you said earlier that the whole one-night stand thing isn’t your scene,” Chris said, sitting down next to Kate on the luxurious bed.

“Nope, seems really pointless.” Kate said.

“What about the other stuff that goes on at these parties?” Chris asked.

“You mean like drink, and drugs, and stuff?”

“Yeah.”

Well I do drink, just as any regular 20 year old does, just maybe a bit more in moderation than some people my age, but I’ve never taken drugs. They just don’t appeal to me, really. Have you?”

“Taken drugs? No. I don’t understand them! I don’t see why anyone would need them.” Chris said.

“Me neither. It’s gonna seem like all I talk about, but back at uni everyone did them, loads of my friends and stuff, but I just stayed away from that whole thing. I had bad enough writer’s block as it was, I didn’t need anything else to interfere with my creativity!”

Chris laughed. “Well I reckon that at any one time, fifty percent of the music industry are on drugs, mainly coz they can afford to be, I guess. One of my mates used to take drugs, years and years ago, but he stopped that a long time ago. He sort of explained it, but I never really understood why he did them. It’s funny, coz there’s always the odd rumour going round about Paul being on drugs – I actually think that it’s what the fans want to believe sometimes, for a bit of scandal, or something – but I don’t think anyone really thinks that he’d do drugs. I don’t think anyone believes any of us would!”

“But that’s good, right?”

“I guess. Nothing like a squeaky clean image to sell records! But it’s not always entirely befitting to certain members of this band.”

“Like Ben?” Kate asked.

“The thing is with Ben, he never really thinks about what he’s doing and how it’s going to affect people. He’s not thoughtless, or stupid, he’s just a bit… foolish, sometimes. Does things because they seem like a good idea now, and doesn’t think about the repercussions, or consequences. And he’s a really nice guy, but he’s very much out for himself before everyone else, even if he doesn’t realise it. There’s nothing wrong with that to a certain extent, but sometimes he just takes things too far.”

Ben was taking things far. Ben was taking things really far. Ben, at that current moment in time, was sitting in a slightly smelly cab, watching all the lights go past the window as he sped through London on his way to see Chloe. It had taken him a while to find a cab. It’d taken him a while to find his jacket, actually, but after that he’d walked around for a bit before remembering that he had the number of his favourite taxi firm in his phone. So he phoned them, the taxi arrived, Ben handed his credit card over as a deposit after the driver had regarded his request for the Forest of Dean suspiciously, and now he was well on his way. And yes, he knew it’d take at least another two hours to get to Chloe’s house, and that by the time he did arrive it would be the early hours of the next morning, and that he had interviews to get back to London for by 11 in the morning, but none of that seemed to matter. Ben didn’t care: he had to see Chloe. And Ben knew exactly what he was going to say to Chloe when he saw her. Ever since he got in the cab and started to think about the wonderful moment that would taking her in his arms and holding her close to him again after all this time, one phrase hadn’t stopped rushing through Ben’s mind. It just repeated over and over and over and over and over, and it was getting to the point where Ben was so desperate to say it that he was on the verge of asking the driver! It sounded so right, though. He could hear the words as he said them to Chloe, he could see the look her face as she heard them too, and he could feel the lurch of his heart as he considered what life might be like if everything went according to the dream sequence in his head. Closing his eyes and leaning back against the seat, Ben willed away the time. He willed away the distance between them, he willed away all the people who disapproved, he willed away everything until all there was left was him and Chloe. Him and Chloe, together forever…