(Leve DrØmet i
Norge)
Monday
11:45 p.m., Oslo
“And then, he said,” Rose said loudly, in between giggles, an empty glass in her right hand. “He said, that’s not purple!”
Paul and Rose both laughed hysterically at this “joke” where they sat on stools at the hotel bar.
“I think you need another one.” Paul slurred, drunkenly calling over the girl behind the bar. “We want more alcol- aclo- colhol- alclol-”
Rose giggled. “Morrrrrrre alcohol!”
“Is a veeeery good idea. And you can have… twelve! Twelve for yourself, because you’re lovvvvely.” Paul said to the barmaid.
“I have another joke!” Rose suddenly exclaimed as the poor barmaid filled their glasses up.
“She has another joke!”
“I do. And ish a very good one.” Rose said gravely.
“Silence for the joke!” Paul called out. “Thank you.”
“There’s a rabbit.”
“Ish a rabbit!”
“Yes, a rabb- bibbit, and he goes into a bar-”
“Like this one.”
“Yes. And he orrrrders a cheese and ham toastie. Right?”
“Right. Rabbits like sandwiches.”
“Only toasted ones.”
“Thash right.”
“So, he eats it and goes home.”
“Back to his burrow.”
“Nooooo! He lives in a flaaaaaaat!”
“In London.”
“Noooo! In Norwaaaaaaay!”
“We’re in Norway!”
“Hooraaaay for Norwaaaaay!” Rose shouted. “Ish a Norwegian rabbit.”
“Ahhhhh.”
“And so the neeeeext day he comes back.”
“Norwegian rabbit.”
“And he has some more food.”
“We should have food.” Paul said absently, looking around him.
“And he has anooooother toastie. BUT,”
“What?”
“It’s cheese and onion.”
“Bleurgh.” Paul said, making throwing up noises.
“I know, ish gross.” Rose agreed. “But ish a Norwegian rabbit!”
“Yes.”
“And he goes home.”
“Back to Norrrrrrway!”
“And the next day, he comesh back!”
“Hooooooray!”
“But he’s dead!”
Paul gasped dramatically.
“And the barrrrtender says,” Rose turned to the barmaid. “He’s a bit like you, but not as female and he’s got no hair. And so,”
“Soooooo.” Paul repeated.
“So, the bartender,”
“With no hair!”
“Yesh, the bartender with noooo hair at all, he says, why are you dead? And the rabbit says,”
“Norwegian rabbit.”
“Norwegian rabbit says, I died from…” Rose paused as she tried to remember the punch line. “From mixas- mixim- toestis- Ish this thing that rabbits get. And they die.” She said, spreading her arms wide to signify the end of the joke.
“They die!” Paul said, laughing. “Fantaaaaaaaaastic joke.”
Rose giggled. “I loooove that joke! Chloe told me it.”
“Chloe is… a girl.” Paul said.
“Yes! Chloe and Ben.”
“Awww.”
“Awww.”
“I have one!” Paul exclaimed.
“Yeahhhhh, go on then!”
“Okay, right, are you ready?”
“Yessssssssssss.” Rose said, taking a big swig of whatever volatile cocktail of alcohol she was drinking.
“A man walks into a bar,” Paul started, dissolving into giggles before he got to the end of his sentence. “H-he walks into this bar, and he saysh, OUCH!”
Rose looked at him for a second before letting out a shriek of laughter, hitting Paul on the arm in the process.
“That’s the funniest joke everrrrrr!” she said in delight, trying to grab the bar as her stool wobbled, but only succeeding in pushing herself and the stool to the floor.
“I’mmm on the floooor.” She slurred, laughing with Paul as he pointed at her, making no effort to help her up at all. “IIIIII might stay here allllll night!”
“I thiiiink we should go upstairs.” Paul said, slipping off his own stool and holding onto the bar to steady himself. “Commmme on!” he cried, dragging Rose up by her arm.
“We have to be quiet.” Rose whispered exaggeratedly as they staggered out of the bar and towards the stairs, arm in arm. “Because there are people sleeeeeeeping!” she shouted.
“Shhhhh!” Paul giggled, making a face at Rose, causing her to collapse with laughter.
“Lift!” she exclaimed, as Paul helped her up again.
“Liiift!” Paul agreed.
The two of them stumbled over to the closed lift doors and started to press all the buttons.
“I don’t think it’s working.” Rose said, looking at Paul and shaking her head.
“Stairs!” Paul exclaimed, pulling Rose after him as he bounded over to the stairs. “Now, what floor are we on?”
“Five hundred and fiffffffty six!” Rose shouted with glee as her and Paul attempted the stairs.
They made it up two steps before deciding that what would actually be a much better idea would be to crawl up them like “army people”. Somehow they managed to work out between them that they were on the third floor and staying in rooms 81 and 85, and even more miraculously, they managed to make it to said floor in one piece.
“IIII have an idea!” Rose announced as they stood in the corridor. “It’s sooooo funny!”
“Kayyyyy.” Paul said, leaning against the wall to stop himself from falling over.
“Wouldn’t it be reeeeally funny if,”
“If,”
“Iiiiiiif we both slept in the same room!”
“Yeahhhhh!” Paul agreed. “Oooh, but,”
“What?” Rose asked exaggeratedly, rocking on her heels and giggling.
“It would be morrre funny if I slept in your room, and you slept in mine!”
Rose gasped. “Yesssss!! Then, people would think I was you!!”
“And I was you!”
Trying to suppress hysterics, Rose and Paul exchanged card keys and let themselves into each others rooms before collapsing onto their chosen beds and blacking out.