Chloe tried not to panic as Ben put the ring
onto the fourth finger of her left hand. He wouldn’t, would he? He wouldn’t
propose to her like this in the middle of Homebase, surely? They’d only been
going out for a year, they weren’t even living together yet… Oh God, but what
if he did? What if he was?! Aren’t you meant to ask the person you want
to marry before you give them the ring?! Well she couldn’t, she just couldn’t
marry him, she’d have to say no. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to marry him,
it was just… a bad time. Yes, a bad time because she was currently seeing
someone else behind his back. I mean, how inconvenient of him to propose now!
Anyway,
No but seriously, what was she going to tell
Ben? If she said no he’d think that she didn’t love him, which wasn’t true at
all, but if she said yes… Maybe they could have a really long engagement and
then by the time they were meant to get married she’d have decided what to do
about this Mark thing. But for now she didn’t want to be pushed into making any
decisions. She was having fun, it was nothing serious, only a silly little…
lying cheating affair. Oh no, this was not good.
“You can open your eyes.” Ben said.
Chloe hardly wanted to, but she slowly did so.
There, as suspected, was a gleaming silver ring
sitting happily on her wedding finger. One little band of metal that could
change the course of her whole life.
Chloe looked at it more clearly.
Well it was pretty, she’d give it that. There
were no diamonds or gems set into the ring, which she had to admit was a little
disappointing, just what looked like a Celtic symbol etched into the front of
it. But decorations aside, she still had to face the matter of what she was
going to do next.
“Ben, um…”
“Do you like it?” he asked.
Chloe looked at his expectant smiling face. How
could she turn him down? This was going to be horrible.
“I, er…”
“It’s an eternity ring.”
What? An eternity ring?
Oh thank God.
It’s not an engagement ring, okay, breathe…
“I wanted to show you how serious I am about
you. I know it’s not much, but it’s meant to symbolise commitment and love and
stuff. Or at least that’s what the guy in the shop said. I’ve never met someone
who’s so special to me, and I know it might seem like I don’t have much time
for you and I’m always cancelling our plans, but if I could I’d spend every
second of every day with you. I love you, Clo.”
Chloe was hardly listening to what Ben was
saying. She was just revelling in the relief that he wasn’t asking her to marry
him. This way, she got to keep the pretty ring and Mark! What could be
better?
“Ben, thank you.” Chloe said. “It’s perfect!”
It was turning into a bit of a competition,
this. Mark takes her for a midnight swim, Ben buys her an eternity ring… It was
cool, she was really enjoying it! And it’d help her decide who to end up with
eventually. The best man, or the one who showered her with the most affection
and presents, would win her heart. Seemed like a pretty fair deal to Chloe. At
the moment Ben was in the lead, possibly just for not proposing to her,
but she couldn’t wait to see what Mark would do to try and out-do Ben.
Chloe smiled. It was like christmas!
Two and a half hours and a whole trolley full
of shopping later, Chloe and Ben were walking down a basement corridor in Smash
Hits HQ towards the radio studio. As they walked, Chloe realised that she still
hadn’t made up with Paul. Sure, they’d all been out for a meal on Saturday
night and she’d been civil verging on chatty to him, but that was only so that
Ben didn’t start asking a load of unnecessary questions. The second Ben was out
of the room, Chloe refused to so much as look at Paul. She was still furious at
him for knowing about Mark and not telling her, but worse than that, she was
hurt that he’d lied to her about it. She wasn’t worried about Mark and Chris
noticing the atmosphere between them. After all, they were both in on it too,
right?
Well, Chloe still wasn’t sure whether Chris
was, but she doubted he’d notice anything anyway. He probably wouldn’t even
notice if she massacred Paul right in front of him. He’d just carry on floating
around in his little Chris bubble. Bless him.
Anyway, she didn’t really want to see Paul
today. Actually, she didn’t want to see any of them. She didn’t even wanna be
there! She just wanted to go home and start decorating her new room. She wasn’t
in the mood for any of this, and it was meant to be Ben’s day off anyway.
Sometimes she really hated Tim.
She’d done a bit of thinking in the car on the
way over here and she was beginning to feel a bit bad about the eternity ring
still shining on her finger. For one thing, it sorta suggested that her and Ben
would get married one day and stay together forever, so in a way it was worse
than an engagement ring coz you could always break off an engagement, whereas
cancelling this unspoken eternal commitment that had been thrust upon her might
prove to be a little more tricky. She almost wished Ben would stop giving her
things, coz then it’d make it a bit easier to decide who she preferred, him or
Mark. And, despite how cold-hearted she seemed about all this, she did feel bad
that Ben was being so lovely to her when she was being so awful to him. But
still, she couldn’t help what she felt for Mark. Falling for you boyfriend’s
friend isn’t exactly something you plan against, is it?
No. The answer to that was no, all blame and
guilt alleviated.
“Looks good.” Ben said, winking at Chloe as
they approached the studio.
Chloe looked down at the ring on her finger.
“Yeah, it does…”
It did look good, but it didn’t feel right.
Was that because it was a symbol of Ben’s undying love and endless commitment
and not Mark’s?
Chloe didn’t have time to contemplate this any
further as Ben opened the studio door and stepped into the room, holding the
door open for Chloe to follow him. It was a pre-record for the weekly radio
show and so they didn’t have to worry about being on-air or anything. All Chloe
had to worry about was Paul, who was sitting on a chair by a microphone,
chatting to the DJ who’d be interviewing them. Every time they’d seen each
other since Thursday Paul had got this expression on his face like he was going
to try and have a heartfelt “chat” with her. She’d subtly attached herself to
Ben or left the room altogether whenever she saw “the look” appearing,
something she fully intended to continue doing today.
Ben was just about to sit down when he said,
“Did I lock the car?”
“Yeah, I think so.” Chloe said.
If she was honest, she had no idea whether Ben
had locked the car or not, she just didn’t want him to go and leave her alone
with Paul.
“I don’t think I did.” Ben said.
“I’m sure you did.”
“I better just go and check.”
No!
“Well I’ll come with you then.” Chloe offered.
“No it’s okay. I won’t be a minute. You stay
here.”
Before Chloe had a chance to protest, Ben
dashed out of the room leaving just her, Paul and Jo, the Smash Hits radio DJ.
“I’ll go and get, my notes for the show then.
We can get started as soon as everyone gets here.” Jo said.
What? Nooooo!!
Much as she had the urge to get up and run out
of the room, Chloe said nothing and helplessly watched Jo leave.
Paul watched the door swing shut and looked at
Chloe. He’d been waiting for an opportunity to talk to her one on one for days,
and now here was the perfect one. He’d given her long enough to cool down, now
it was time to sort things out. He hated how things were between them at the
moment and, where he knew he was the one in the wrong, he just wanted things
back to how they had been before. Him and Chloe had been getting to be such
good friends, but they hadn’t had a chat for nearly a week! All over one stupid
mistake that was really his fault. He had divided loyalties, and in the end his
friendship with Mark had proved stronger. He’d truly been caught in the middle.
At least it was all out in the open now. Or
mostly anyway; Ben probably didn’t know. Mark and Chris hadn’t said anything at
all to him about Chloe so he presumed that it had all blown over. Things seemed
okay between Chloe and Mark now too so everything must be fine. Therefore, his
make up with Chloe was long overdue.
Paul looked at her and was about to speak when
something caught his eye.
Chloe was wearing a ring on her wedding finger.
A ring that she wasn’t wearing yesterday. Were he and Ben engaged? No,
surely not. He would have said something. She would have said something…
wouldn’t she? Surely she’d tell him if she was getting married? Did she hate
him that much?!
“I like your ring.” Paul said, breaking the
silence of the room.
Brought out of her thoughts, Chloe looked down
at the ring, almost as if she’d forgotten it was there, and then back up at
Paul.
“Oh, thanks.” She said.
“Chloe, I know I’m not your favourite person at
the moment, and I understand why, but I hate this atmosphere between us. Can’t
we just forget about all this and be mates again?” Paul asked, taking the
plunge in a bid to get everything sorted before anyone came back into the room.
“You lied to me, Paul.” Chloe said.
“I know, and I’m sorry, but you have to
understand that I didn’t have a choice.”
“You always have a choice.”
Paul sighed. She was right; he had had a
choice. And he’d chosen to lie. But that didn’t mean that he’d enjoyed doing
it.
“Clo, all I can do is apologise, and I know
it’s probably not enough but I do mean it. I know I was wrong, but try and see
it from my point of view. Mark put me in a very difficult position, and maybe I
made the wrong decision but I can’t change what I did, I can only try and get
back the friendship that I had with you before all this happened.” Paul looked
at Chloe, trying to read her expression, praying for a smile.
Saying what he’d just said to her made him
realise how much he missed Chloe’s friendship. Since they’d got to know each
other, Paul had helped Chloe out with all kinds of stuff. She’d gone to him for
advice about a whole range of things, when her and Ben were going through a
rough patch he’d helped to smooth things out on both sides, they chatted on the
phone once a week; she was one of his mates! He didn’t want to lose that.
“You really hurt me.” Chloe said finally.
Paul nodded. “I know. But I never meant to.”
“I understand that it was hard for you to be in
the position you were in, but I don’t know if I can trust you any more. And I
can’t be friends with someone I don’t trust.”
This hurt Paul. He’d never meant for any of
this to happen. For the millionth time, he wished he’d never got involved.
“You can trust me. I swear I’ve never
lied to you before.”
Chloe still didn’t look convinced. She started
to twist the ring round and round on her finger.
“I don’t know what I can do to make you believe
me, I’ll… I’ll tell you everything about Mark, everything he told me. Let’s get
it out in the open!” Paul said desperately.
“It’s too late.”
“No, it isn’t! Look, what do you want to know?
No more lies, I’ll tell you everything.”
Chloe was quiet. When she did speak, she was
almost back to being the reticent, vulnerable girl she used to show him when
they talked.
“How long has Mark been in love with me?” she
asked.
“Eight months, maybe nine.” Paul replied.
Chloe looked shocked and Paul felt really sorry
for her. It was a lot to deal with, he guessed.
“You know you should have told me.” Chloe said.
“I deserved to know.”
Paul nodded. “I know.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“Tell you?”
“Mmm.”
Paul shrugged. “Dunno. Didn’t really know what
to do. I felt terrible though, keeping it from you. But… friends are friends.”
“And we’re not friends?” Chloe asked.
“Not at this moment, according to you.” Paul
said.
He’d really blown this, hadn’t he?
“Look Clo, I’m not asking to be best buddies or
anything, and if you don’t feel you can forgive me that’s up to you. It’d just
be nice to be on speaking terms. Especially seeing as we’ve all gotta go up to
Manchester tomorrow.”
“I don’t forgive you.” Chloe said after giving
Paul’s sentence some thought.
“I don’t expect you to.” Paul said, hoping that
Chloe not forgiving him was just the disclaimer and would shortly be followed
by “but…”.
“But you do get a second chance, it’s only
fair. Let’s call the last however many months a trial run, yeah?”
Paul smiled. “Did I fail the trial?”
“You most definitely failed the trial.” Chloe
said, smiling too.
“Is a hug pushing it too far?”
“Ever so slightly.”
“A guy’s gotta try.”
“And you do.”
“So what’s with the ring then? You and Ben
aren’t getting hitched, are you?” Paul asked, returning to the subject he’d
tried to touch upon earlier, facing it head on.
Chloe looked shocked. “What?! No! God no,
definitely not!”
Definitely not? What, not ever? Paul was
confused. Why did Chloe find the prospect of marrying Ben so preposterous? She
did love him, didn’t she? Surely marriage was on the cards, if not now, then
some time in the future? Paul may be being horribly naïve here, but he was
under the impression that if you were with someone for more than six months,
you wouldn’t still be with them if you couldn’t see yourself happily being with
them for the rest of your life. After all, there’s no point in being with
anyone if you know that things will break down at some stage. Why put yourself
though heartache that could easily be avoided?
Having said that, it should probably be noted
that Paul was currently terminally single, try as he might to change that, so
ultimately his views should maybe not be regarded as absolute.
“I mean, er, no, we’re not getting married.”
Chloe corrected herself. “What gave you that idea?”
“Well I’d say the ring on your engagement
finger was the main culprit there.”
“Oh! That. It’s not an engagement ring, it’s an
eternity ring.” Chloe explained.
In Paul’s book that was pretty much the same as
a wedding ring, just without the legally binding certificate. People wearing
eternity rings don’t tend to be quite so horrified about the prospect of
marriage as Chloe appeared to be. In fact, people wearing eternity rings tended
to be already married!
“Don’t you usually get them after you’ve been
married for a long time?” he asked.
Chloe shrugged. “Do you? I dunno.”
“So, why are you wearing it on your wedding
finger?”
“Ben said that’s where you’re meant to wear
it.”
She was being awfully casual about this, Paul
thought. He couldn’t quite put a finger on what was wrong with this scene, but
there was definitely something amiss here.
“Is everything okay with you and Ben?” Paul
asked cautiously.
“Yeah, of course! We’re…” Chloe was cut off by
the door to the studio opening.
Paul watched with interest as Chris walked into
the room, closely followed by Mark. Chloe’s whole face lit up at the sight of
him, and as Mark walked past her, Paul was sure his hand brushed purposefully
against her leg.
Now, either there was something Chris wasn’t
telling him or it was Mark who was making Chloe grin like she’d just won the
lottery.
Paul frowned.
Oh no.
There was an obvious thought forming in his
head but he couldn’t possibly be right, could he? Always having been a
perceptive kinda person he was good at adding two and two together, but this
time maybe his calculations were wrong and he’d made five. Coz it was just too
ridiculous, wasn’t it? All the “evidence” was just consequential, there was
nothing going on between Chloe and Mark.
Was there?
“I’ll go and sit in the canteen then while you
lot do the interview.” Chloe said.
Paul looked at her eyes and saw them moving
over Mark’s body, taking in every inch of him. He felt a horrible sinking
feeling in his stomach. What the hell was going on?! Was the whole world going
crazy?!
“Tell Ben I’ll see him after the show.” She
continued, glancing at Paul and catching him staring at her.
Paul quickly looked away. “Yeah, I will.” He
said inattentively, hoping against hope that he hadn’t just uncovered yet
another secret that was going to mess up his life.
Chloe sat in the canteen impatiently drumming
her fingers on the table. The canteen in general (every place seemed to have
one) was Chloe’s regular haunt when she’d been banished to wait until a1 had
finished doing whatever it was she wasn’t allowed to join in with. It was
always the same whether she was at CD:UK, Top Of The Pops, Radio One… the list
was endless, and she’d become quite familiar with the rows of “strategically”
placed white Formica tables with their matching plastic chairs and the economy
linoleum flooring. They weren’t the nicest or most fascinating places in the
whole world to wait, but it was better than sitting in a corridor or, heaven
forbid, standing outside.
Chloe looked at her watch and drummed harder on
the wipe-down surface.
He was late. Where was he? Didn’t he know how
to take a hint?
She wasn’t talking about Ben, she was talking
about Mark. She needed to… well no, that was a little strong, she didn’t need
to see him, but she wanted to. And he knew she was here, he knew she was alone,
why wasn’t he here? It had been twenty minutes now, they’d probably even
started the interview, what was he playing at?
Suddenly the door swung open and Mark came
strolling in.
Chloe stood up. “Where have you been?” she
asked.
Mark smiled and pulled her into his arms.
“It’ll give you wrinkles.” He said, kissing her
forehead.
“Huh?”
“Frowning.” Mark said, before pulling Chloe
closer and kissing her properly. “I haven’t got long; some of the equipment
broke, they’re just fixing it. Said I needed the loo.”
“So you have to go back in a minute?” Chloe
asked, tucking a stand of hair behind her ear.
“Yeah, I…”
Mark stopped mid-sentence and grabbed Chloe’s
hand.
“What’s that? He demanded.
“What?” Chloe asked.
“This!” Mark said, pointing to the eternity
ring.
Oh, shit.
“Are you… engaged?” Mark asked, voice full of
disbelief.
“Oh for God’s sake, no, I am not engaged!”
Chloe said, pulling her hand away from Mark and roughly taking the small silver
ring off, putting it on her right hand instead.
This stupid ring was proving to be more trouble
than it was worth.
“Why are you wearing an engagement ring then?”
Mark asked.
“It’s not a bloody engagement ring! Why does
everyone think that?!” Chloe exclaimed.
Honestly, if she was going to get married, she
certainly wouldn’t marry anyone who gave her a diamond-less ring.
God, how arrogant did she sound?! No, honestly,
if she was in love with someone she’d marry them if they proposed with a hula
hoop. All she meant was that Ben could afford to buy her something much more
flash and sparkly, and probably would.
“What is it then?” Mark asked.
“It’s an eternity ring. Ben gave it to me this
morning.” Chloe explained for what seemed like the millionth time that day.
“Oh. Then why are you…”
“Coz that’s what finger you’re meant to wear it
on.” She reeled off evenly. “You don’t really think I’d marry Ben, do you?” she
asked, linking her hands with Mark’s.
Mark looked unsure. “Well, I…”
“Why would I marry Ben when I could have
you?" Chloe asked. “Not that I can… marry you… I just meant…” she trailed
off, embarrassed.
“We could.” Mark said suddenly.
“What?” Chloe asked, looking at Mark.
“Get married.”
Chloe laughed uneasily. She couldn’t tell if
Mark was joking or not. He had to be though really. No-one just suggested
marriage like that, and after all, she was still with Ben. What were they going
to do, elope?!
“Mark, about last night…” Chloe started,
changing the subject.
“Was it too much? Should I not have done it?
I’m sorry, I won’t do…”
Chloe kissed him suddenly, more to shut him up
than anything else; he did go on a bit! When they broke apart she grinned at
him.
“It was lovely. You have my permission to whisk
me off whenever you want.”
“Well I might just take you up on that offer.”
Mark said, bringing his head back up close to Chloe’s and kissing her again.
They both span round as the door opened. A guy
who Chloe didn’t recognise walked into the canteen and round the back of the
serving area. He picked up a couple of packets of crisps and walked back round.
As he passed Mark and Chloe, he grinned at them.
“Alright Mark? New girlfriend?” he asked,
winking at him. “Don’t worry, I won’t disturb you two any longer.” He added
before Mark could say anything.
Chloe just watched him leave the room aghast.
Her and Mark had never bothered too much with people they didn’t know seeing
them together coz they didn’t know that what the two of them were doing was
wrong, and so it couldn’t get back to Ben. After all, if they snuck around everyone
they’d never see each other! But this… this was not good. That guy,
whoever he was, clearly knew Mark and, where he probably didn’t know that she
was going out with Ben… as well, he could still innocently mention something
about her to Mark when the rest of the guys were around. Or if he saw her with
Ben he’d be all ‘hmmm’ and might even ask someone else who she was meant to be
with! Then people would suspect something and they’d work it out and everyone
would know!
Chloe turned to Mark.
“Who was that? She demanded.
“Oh, just some guy who works here. He’s cool.”
He’s cool?! He knows!!
“B-but he just saw us together!”
Mark just looked at her.
“H-he thinks I’m your girlfriend!”
Still Mark looked, this time with a tiny shrug.
“Well go and tell him I’m not!” Chloe said
agitatedly.
“There’s no point.” Mark said calmly.
Argh, infuriatingly calmly.
“W-why not?!”
“Coz he’ll wonder why I’m making such a fuss.”
“But he thinks we’re together! What if he tells
Ben?!” Chloe tried not to scream.
Mark put his hands “comfortingly” on her
shoulders and smiled at her.
“We are together.” He said. “And he
doesn’t know Ben so he won’t tell him. Relax! Ben’s gotta find out sometime
anyway.”
Excuse me? What did he just say?
“W-w-what?” Chloe stuttered.
Mark shrugged. “It’s gonna come out eventually,
don’t worry about it.”
Chloe couldn’t speak. She just looked at Mark
beseechingly.
“All I’m saying is that sooner or later Ben’s
gonna know about us.”
“Why?” Chloe asked in a small voice.
Mark looked shocked. “Why?” he echoed, taking
his hands off Chloe’s shoulders. “Don’t you want Ben to know?”
Now was it just her, or was that an incredibly
stupid question?
“Well no!” Chloe blurted, instantly regretting
it as she saw Mark’s face fall.
“No?” he asked.
Chloe tried to look into Mark’s eyes but they
were so full of hurt that she couldn’t bear it.
“Not ever?” Mark asked.
He looked crushed.
“I… I don’t know.” Chloe said defeatedly.
“Well don’t you think you better know soon?”
Mark asked.
All the hurt had gone from his face and in it’s
place was anger, the kind of anger that, coming from Mark, was terrifying.
“I… um…”
“You need to get your priorities straight
Chloe. I love you, I’m giving you everything I have and you won’t give me
anything!” Mark accused.
“Do you know how much I’m risking being with
you?” Chloe asked, suddenly feeling an anger to match Mark’s. “I’m meant to be
with Ben, someone who gives me security, someone who I’m giving up my flat and
my job to move in with. I’m putting my entire life on the line for you!”
“Well if that’s how you feel then maybe you
just shouldn’t bother!” Mark shouted, turning away from Chloe and stalking out
of the canteen.