Chloe walked slowly through the park, kicking a
pebble in front of her. She’d wiped the tears away a while ago, and since then
she’d been wandering around, trying to decide on her next move. So far she’d
come up with the following:
·
· Ignore Mark
·
· Don’t ignore Ben
It seemed like a pretty good plan to her, and should get rid of the guilt
and Paul. So that was sorted. She didn’t want to see Mark and have to
end it with him face to face coz she knew she wasn’t strong enough to do that
without backing down, but the fun was over and Mark had to realise that things
had gone too far. Ignoring Mark until he got the message it was over was the
gutless way to do it, but Chloe knew it was the only way to successfully
achieve what she needed. So now, the pacing around the park was to convince her
that she was doing the right thing, and make sure she stuck to her decision.
Coupled with this, she was going to make it all up to Ben by being 100% his
again. Anything he wanted he could have, and she was going to pay him so much
attention he’d wonder what he’d done to deserve it. And she wasn’t going to
stray from her chosen path. Like any addiction, getting Mark out of her system
was going to be hard, but she was determined to do it. She was strong; she
could do this.
It was getting closer to leaving time, and
having sorted her head out, Chloe was feeling oddly empowered, so she thought
she should probably be getting back. Turning round mid-pace, Chloe started to
walk out of the park and down the empty street in the direction of the hotel.
When she’d been walking with Paul it had seemed like they’d walked for miles,
but it only took Chloe a few minutes to reach her destination. Carried on the
winds of determination, obviously. The fans were still hanging around the
entrance as Chloe approached, and the original few had now been joined by five
or six more, probably having been alerted to the approximate leaving time of
midday. Verity was still there, accompanied by a couple of unbelievably
underdressed unfamiliar faces who started to whisper to each other on seeing
Chloe. She started to worry about a repeat of the night before’s event, and
felt her anxiety levels rise as one of the fans left the “pack” and started to
come towards her, but then the fan smiled at Chloe and she realised that she
was just being paranoid. Plus, these girls couldn’t have been any older than 17
at the most, and that was two years younger than Chloe, so what exactly was she
scared of?!
“Erm, it’s Chloe, isn’t it?” the girl asked
timidly.
“Yeah. Hi.” Chloe said, smiling at her.
“This is probably going to sound really
stupid,” the girl laughed nervously. “but, er, I read the interview you did in
Smash Hits, and I just thought you came across as like, really cool, and stuff,
and um, well, can I have your autograph?”
Chloe almost laughed at what she thought this
girl had said. She couldn’t possibly have heard her right. She wanted her
autograph? But why? She wasn’t famous! She was a famous person’s girlfriend-
she was just as unimportant as the fans following a1 around. Coz that was all
she did really: tailed around after Ben… and Mark, but that had stopped about
half an hour ago. Or as far as she was concerned it had.
Chloe realised the girl was still waiting for
an answer.
“Er… okay.” Chloe said, uncertainly.
The girl smiled. “Great! Thank you!” she said,
handing Chloe a copy of Smash Hits and a pen.
Chloe took the items and looked at them. So…
what did she do now? She’d never signed an autograph before; she wasn’t sure
she knew how to do it properly! She didn’t have a proper signature ready, or
anything!
“Where do you want me to sign?” Chloe asked,
trying to remember what Ben said in these kind of situations.
God, this was a lot more nerve-wracking than
she gave celebrities credit for!
“Erm… anywhere! On the picture, or something?”
“Okay, er, what’s your name?”
“Jane.”
“Right.”
“Verity told me not to come over, she said I
was being embarrassing.” Jane said, watching as Chloe scribbled over the page.
She wasn’t really sure what to put in between
Jane’s name and her own name, and her mind was creating and discarding a
conveyor belt of naff sentences, while at the same time trying to decide how
best to write ‘Chloe’.
“I’m not embarrassing you, am I?” Jane
asked.
Chloe looked up and smiled. “No, not at all!
Just surprised me a bit, that’s all. No-one’s ever asked for my autograph
before!”
“Really? Well you’re like a celebrity now!
Everyone’s talking about you!”
“Oh God, are they?”
“It’s all nice, don’t worry! We all love you!”
Chloe nearly fell over.
“Really?!”
“Oh yeah! You’re so cool!”
“Oh, er… thanks!” Chloe said, not quite sure
what to say that!
She thought she was generally accepted as a
figure of public hatred, being Ben’s girlfriend and all, and at best, she was
tolerated but the subject of mass bitching by jealous fans. She didn’t
even consider herself cool; she certainly didn’t expect to be favoured by
people she didn’t know! The life she’d been leading since going out with Ben
never ceased to amaze her.
“Here you go.” Chloe said, handing the magazine
and pen back to Jane.
“Thanks!” Jane said, reading what Chloe had
written. “Erm… what does that say?” she asked pointing to the scribble between ‘To
Jane,’ and ‘Love, Chloe’.
Chloe grinned sheepishly. “Well here’s the
thing: I’ve never done the whole autograph thing before, and I didn’t know what
to write, so I just kinda scribbled. Doesn’t actually say anything. So feel
free to interpret it how you want!”
Jane smiled. “That’s so cool! Mark always
writes something predictable like, ‘Good to see you’.”
“Is Mark your favourite?” Chloe asked, without
thinking.
“Yeah, I love him to bits.” Jane said warmly.
Don’t we all, Chloe thought.
“Can’t believe a word he says, though,” Jane
continued. “Bless him, he can’t help making things up. Anyhow, I better stop
harassing you, get back to my friend who I’m embarrassing deeply by acting like
a fan rather than a “professional follower”.” She giggled. “See you later
maybe!”
Chloe nodded. “Yeah, see ya.” She said, walking
past the rest of the fans and into the hotel, Jane’s offhand comment about Mark
filing her mind.
It wasn’t affecting her that much, except for
serving to make up her mind even more that things with Mark were definitely
100% no going back over. She was just climbing the last flight of stairs when
the absolute last person she wanted to see appeared in front of her. It wasn’t
like he’d materialised from thin air, and no, it wasn’t Paul, but Chloe hadn’t
counted on having to deal with this situation so soon after making such a big
decision about the very person standing just feet away from her, who was
clearly oblivious to the turbulence of emotions Chloe had experienced in the
last 60 minutes.
Mark smiled. “I was wondering where you’d got
to.” He said, coming towards her.
“I’m busy.” Chloe muttered, walking straight
past him, gaze stonily fixed on the carpet preceding her feet.
Mark didn’t say anything, and Chloe didn’t look
back, but God that had hurt! If simply blanking Mark was that hard, she was
glad she’d opted to wimp out of telling him face to face that it was over. She
didn’t feel tearful though, at least that was an improvement! Quite an
achievement, in fact. Now if she could just get to Ben and affirm her decision
without bumping into Paul, everything would be fine… ish.
Finally reaching a familiar room number, Chloe
turned the handle of the door and pushed it open. Ben was sitting on the edge
of the bed with his back to her, and Chloe crossed the room and crawled across
the bed, kneeling behind Ben and draping her arms over his shoulders.
“Hello you!” she said, planting a kiss on his
cheek.
“Did you have a nice walk?” Ben asked.
“Woulda been a lot better if you were
there.” Chloe said, running the fingers of one hand up and down Ben’s t-shirt.
“You know, I was thinkin’, I’m feeling much better now, and so I thought
maybe I could make it up to you for, y’know, not feeling up to anything last
night.” She said seductively. “What do you think?”
Ben got up from the bed, pulling out of Chloe’
s grasp.
“I’ve gotta pack.” He said. “We’re leaving
soon.”
“Not for a while, though.” Chloe said,
following Ben and putting her arm around his waist from behind, as he picked up
a t-shirt from a chair. “Ten minutes, at least!” She said, grinning and trying
to catch Ben’s eye.
He didn’t grin back. He didn’t even look at
her.
Chloe let go of Ben and watched in confusion as
Ben walked into the bathroom.
“Are you alright?” Chloe asked.
“Fine.” Ben said, coming out of the bathroom
with a handful of “free” hotel toiletries.
Chloe frowned. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah.” Ben said, chucking the collection of
bottles into his bag.
As he continued to pack in silence, Chloe began
to get slightly worried. There was very clearly something wrong between the two
of them, and it would be just Chloe’s luck if Ben had found out about her and
Mark just as she’d decided to end it. Ben was obviously trying to give her the
cold shoulder, and he’d never been like this with her before, so Chloe didn’t
know what to do. It was probably best for all concerned if they got everything
out in the open though, got it over with quickly, especially if Ben knew. Chloe
knew she was bad for thinking it, but if Ben did know, and things were
over with them, at least she hadn’t properly ended things with Mark. Right now
he was feeling like a very comforting safety net.
“Is there something wrong, Ben?" Chloe
asked, getting that ‘I-don’t-want-to-know-the-answer’ feeling.
“No.” Ben said.
“Well there must be something! Or did you just
repeatedly get out on the wrong side of the bed several times this morning?”
Chloe exclaimed, not wanting an argument in the volatile emotional state she
was in, but not able to keep the tension inside her at bay.
“I’m just tired. Leave it, alright?” Ben said,
brushing off Chloe’s concern, busying himself in packing.
Chloe knew she was a hypocrite, but she needed
to clear the air between them so she could make a fresh start and not screw
things up this time.
“Yeah, why don’t we keep our feelings to
ourselves and not talk to each other? Coz that’s the essence of a strong
relationship.” She said, staring at Ben’s back, willing him to turn round so
she could give him a ‘look’.
“And what we’ve got at the moment is better, is
it?” Ben said quietly.
“What?”
“Nothing.” Ben muttered.
“No, Ben… oh will you stop that for a minute?”
Chloe said with annoyance, getting up and grabbing Ben’s arm, pulling him round
to face her. “What is the matter with you today?”
Ben looked straight at Chloe, his clear blue
eyes full of the need for answers. Chloe didn’t know what he was going to say
next, but she got the feeling that he wasn’t going to get the answers he
wanted. Not from her, anyway.
“Are we splitting up?” he asked her.
I don’t know, are we? Chloe thought.
With everything she knew, she didn’t really
feel like she had the right to make that decision. Except Ben didn’t know what
she knew… or did he?
“I don’t know what to say to a question like
that.” Chloe said.
“I think a simple yes or no would get the
message across quite effectively.” Ben said.
“So if I say yes, then that’s it, is it? Why is
it down to me? You sound like you’ve already made your mind up.” Chloe said,
not quite sure this was all turning out as previously planned.
“Clo, please don’t be like that.” Ben said,
putting a hand on her arm.
He actually looked quite upset now.
“Look, I don’t understand! I’m not being like
anything! All I’ve done is come in here and found you’ve come to some
conclusion about our relationship that I have no idea how you’ve got to.” Chloe
said.
“I thought it was how you felt.” Ben said.
“How I felt? You think I want to break
up with you?”
“Well do you?”
“No! Where did you get that idea from?”
“I thought you were going off me.” Ben
confessed. “I thought you were gonna leave me.”
“But why?” Chloe asked, following as Ben went
and sat on the edge of the bed.
“I don’t know.”
Chloe looked at him, looked at the expression
on his face. He did know.
“Ben, I need to know what I’ve done to give you
that impression.” Chloe said, realising that Ben was a whole lot more intuitive
than she gave him credit for. “If you don’t tell me, I might do it again
without realising!”
Ben met Chloe’s gaze, their eyes locking
together. “Babe, you know you’re everything to me, don’t you?”
Chloe shrugged. She didn’t know what else to
do. She hated questions like that: were they rhetorical, or not? Were you meant
to say, ‘Yes, I do know I’m everything to you, and I’m actually quite
complacent about it’, or, ‘No, you never tell me how you feel, what a bad boyfriend
you are’, or what?!
“Well then I obviously don’t tell you enough!”
“No, Ben…”
“Just listen to me.” Ben said. “Please.”
Chloe nodded.
“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to
me, and I know it’s clichéd, but it’s true. You bring so many good things into
my life, and if I lost you I honestly don’t know what I’d do. But lately,
things have been… different between us, and I couldn’t work out what had
changed, but I’ve thought about it, probably too much actually, and… it’s all
my fault.”
“What? Ben…”
“No, listen!” Ben said urgently. “I need you to
hear this. It’s all my fault for not telling you how much you mean to me. I’ve
seen relationships go wrong so many times, and there’s always a certain point
where things start to break down, but you can save it if you’re not afraid to
risk it to start with.”
Chloe frowned. What? Ben wasn’t making an awful
lot of sense. He seemed to have lost his normally perfectly adequate ability to
form comprehensible sentan… oh no, that usually meant he was deeply upset about
something, but was trying to hide it. And this was all because of her.
“So that’s what I’m doing. I don’t wanna lose
you, but I can’t just let this happen and not do anything about it. I don’t
tell you how much I love you all the time because I don’t want it to lose
meaning, and I just assumed you knew how I felt. But if you don’t, then I’m so
sorry, because I really do love you so much, and I know it doesn’t sound
anywhere near enough, but…”
Chloe had had enough of this. She couldn’t just
sit there and let Ben take the blame for a situation that he’d completely made
up in his head. There was absolutely nothing wrong with their relationship!
Yeah, she’d been having an affair with Mark, but she hadn’t been treating Ben
differently to how she normally did as far as she was aware.
“Stop it!” Chloe exclaimed. “Stop trying to
take the blame for all life’s wrongs! What’s it gonna achieve?” she asked,
looking at Ben. “It’s gonna make you feel bad, and it’s gonna make me feel bad,
but it’s not gonna do anything good.”
“Why do you feel bad?” Ben asked.
“Well…”
Oh yes, spectacular foot putting in it skills
displayed by the world champion of not thinking before speaking.
“Because you’re being so hard on yourself for
no reason. And you’re miserable, and I hate that, especially if it’s because of
me. Plus, we’re meant to be a team. It’s meant to be us against the world, not
us against each other.”
Ben smiled. “It always used to be. Just me and
you, all the time.”
Chloe smiled too. It was true what they said,
the old days really were good, and she wanted them back. She wished she could
wave a magic wand that would take her back to the days when things were
uncomplicated, or back to the start when everything was new and exciting.
“Can we just start again?” Chloe asked. “Have a
fresh start, and do everything properly this time? Let’s go back to when we
first met.”
Ben narrowed his eyes. “Does that mean no sex
for the first two months? Did you know how hard to get you were playing?”
Chloe smiled. “Thought you preferred packing to
sex.”
“That was at least ten minutes ago.” Ben said,
grinning and pushing Chloe onto her back, muffling her giggles with relieved
kisses.
Mark was fuming. Fuming and on a mission. He
was going to find Paul and, erm… kick him, really hard. The way Chloe had cast
him aside earlier only meant one thing – Paul had got his claws into her. Mark
didn’t know what Paul had said to her, but it was enough to make her not want
to talk to him. Damn Paul, why did he have to interfere in things that didn’t
concern him? It was absolutely none of his business what Mark and Chloe did,
and if he’d ruined things between them just as they were really beginning to
get somewhere, Mark would never forgive him. Did Paul not understand how
important Chloe was to him? Did Mark not make it clear enough how much she
meant to him? Mark was certain he wasn’t attributing blame where it wasn’t
fully deserved. Chloe had been fine with him this morning when he’d seen her
before breakfast. He’d been worried about her after she said she’d been sick,
but she’d seemed okay apart from that. They’d had a chat – Chloe had wanted to
know what Paul had said to Mark after she’d left (he hadn’t told her all of it
of course!), and then she said she was still a bit shaken by it all, and she
needed to sort her head out. But she hadn’t said it in a ‘leave me alone’ way,
and in fact, Mark hadn’t left her alone. They’d both sat on the bed
together, talking a bit, and sitting in silence the rest of the time. Mark
didn’t want to crowd Chloe, but he hadn’t wanted to leave her there on her own,
so he’d stayed, and it had been fine. Everything had been fine, until Paul
started meddling. So Mark was going to sort him out, right now, in fact.
“What have you said to her?” Mark demanded,
bursting through the door to the room him and Paul were sharing.
Paul looked up from the book he was reading
sitting on the big window ledge.
“Hello.” He said, going back to his book.
“I am fed up with your little games, Paul.”
Mark said, slamming the door behind him. “And I am fed up of you trying to mess
things up with me and Chloe!”
“I think we need to have a little talk, don’t
you?” Paul said, getting up and putting the book down on the bed.
“No, I don’t actually. I think you need to tell
me exactly what you’ve said to Chloe.”
“Aww, broken it off, has she?” Paul asked,
feigning sympathy. “She discover you’re not so special after all? Didn’t see
that one coming.”
“What have you said?” Mark repeated slowly.
“I may have been a tad economical with
the truth.” Paul said, sitting back down on the windowsill.
“For God’s sake, Paul! What did you say to
her?!” Mark shouted, remembering just how venomous Paul could be when he
wanted, and beginning to worry that his convincing words may have had an
irreversible affect on Chloe.
“I said whatever I needed to to make sure she
never wants to go anywhere near you again!” Paul shouted back. “I spoon-fed her
lie after lie, I made you sound as bad as I possibly could. And she lapped it
all up, no questions asked, and I’d put money on the fact that the only time
she ever speaks to you again will be to tell you to leave her alone.”
Mark was gob-smacked. He just stood there,
staring open-mouthed at Paul. He couldn’t believe what Paul had said. It wasn’t
that he couldn’t believe Paul had admitted that to him, it was that he
couldn’t believe what Paul was saying he’d told Chloe. He didn’t think anyone
could be so vindictive, least of all one of his friends.
Suddenly filled with an uncontrollable rage,
Mark stormed across the hotel room, grabbed a handful of Paul’s top, pulled him
roughly to his feet and pushed him against the wall.
“Have I done something to offend you?” Paul
asked infuriatingly calmly.
“You spiteful little-”
Suddenly the door swung open and Christian came
into the room.
“Okay, what is going on?”
Chris felt a tiny bit melodramatic bursting in
like that and saying something so movie-esque, but it was quite obvious that
Mark and Paul were acting out their own personal movie, so maybe his actions
were appropriate. What was it with everyone lately? Absolutely everyone
around him seemed to be having some kind of drama at the moment, and he didn’t
seem to be involved in any of them! He knew people thought he was a bit dense,
but if they spent half as much time thinking as they did falling out with each
other then maybe they’d notice as much as he did. Well fine, y’know, if no-one
felt that he was worthy enough to be involved in their little dramas then he’d
have one of his own. He’d… well the most extreme thing he could think of was
leaving the band, and he wasn’t going to do that. But he was
going to find out why Mark looked like he was about to seriously injure Paul.
God, what was it with those two and violence?
“Do you think we could stop beating each other
up for a minute?” Chris asked.
Mark and Paul both looked at Chris, and Mark
released his grip on Paul a bit.
“Okay, good, so now might be a good time to
explain this little situation we seem to have here.” Chris said.
“Get off.” Paul muttered, pulling free of Mark
and moving away from him.
“Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that. Why exactly
are you fighting, again?”
“It’s nothing, is it Mark?” Paul said, smiling
smugly at him. “It’s aaaall over.”
“You are such a-”
“Don’t think that was the right answer, was
it?” Chris asked, the tense atmosphere starting to get to him. “Just tell me
what’s going on: it’s obvious something is.”
“It’s alright to tell Chris, isn’t it Mark? You
know, seeing as nothing’s going on any more.” Paul said with the same
smug look. “Mark was having an affair with Chloe, but it’s okay, coz it’s over
now. Isn’t that right, Mark.”
“What?!” Chris exclaimed.
“No no, it’s alright! Me and Chloe had a bit of
a chat, I gave her some friendly advice, it’s all sorted.”
“You told her lies.” Mark said, narrowing his
eyes at Paul in hatred.
“I did it for her and Ben.” Paul said. “And I
did it for you, actually, although God knows why I bothered. I should have just
told Ben and let him deal with you.”
“Woah, now hang on!” Chris said, breaking into
their one-to-one. “You were having an affair with Chloe?!” he asked Mark
incredulously.
Oh God, how had that one got past him?
“It’s not over.” Mark said, glaring at Paul.
“Oh, well that’s fine then, as long as it’s not
over.” Chris said sarcastically. “Mark!”
“You sound like him.” Mark said, looking
at Paul and scowling as Paul smiled at him.
“I think you might find it’s the voice of
reason.” Chris said. “I can’t believe you! I thought you said you’d given up on
the whole Chloe thing?”
“Well I lied to you. Aren’t I terrible?”
“Do you even know how serious this is?” Chris
asked.
“That’s what I said.” Paul chipped in
righteously.
“And you say it’s still going on? How could you
do that to Ben? He’s your friend!”
“Oh I don’t have to listen to this.” Mark said.
“I think you do, actually.”
“No, look, I don’t have to justify what I do to
anyone!” Mark said defiantly. “And especially not you.” He said to Paul.
“I can do what I like, and you two can just piss off.” He said, leaving the room.
Chris looked at Paul.
“How long have you known?” he asked him.
Paul shrugged. “Couple of hours.”
“Do you think we should tell Ben?”
“I don’t think we need to worry about it too
much. After what I said to Chloe this morning, she’s not gonna want to go
anywhere near Mark for a very long time.”