“Are
you okay?”
“What?
Oh, yeah.” Chloe wasn’t really okay at all, but there was no point worrying Ben
about it. Chloe knew exactly what Paul and Mark were arguing about. It was her
fault, she shouldn’t have said anything to Paul this morning. She’d always felt
like she was in the way and now it had been proved. She knew Paul and Mark
wouldn’t normally argue and to know that she had caused them to literally
fight… well, she felt so guilty. She was going to have to do something about
this problem she had caused. Talking to Paul didn’t seem like such a good idea
any more. She could talk to Chris, but he wasn’t directly involved so she’d
have to talk to Mark. Which could prove difficult seeing as he seemed to be
allergic to her. That was another thing that needed sorting out! She’d have to
get him on his own, preferably where he couldn’t escape coz despite what Paul
had said, she knew his non-appearances when she was around weren’t just her
imagination.
So
how could she get Mark on his own? The only way she could get him alone was to
go to his house, but how suspicious would that look?! And generally speaking,
a1 were either all together or Ben was with her. This was going to be harder
than she thought.
“Are
you sure?”
Ben
sat down on the bed next to her.
“Yeah,
it was just weird, seeing them fighting. I mean, it’s just not like them is
it?”
“No,
I don’t know what’s got into them. They’ve never come to blows before, or even
really argued seriously. We’ve all had little minor squabbles but they’ve never
been anywhere near this bad…” Ben trailed off. His eyes wandered nervously
around the room.
“You’re
worried about it aren’t you?”
So
now she was making her own boyfriend miserable as well. Oh yes, Chloe was doing
well.
I wonder how many more people I can manage to hurt
simply by existing, she
thought miserably. She wished she could tell Ben what she was thinking but she
couldn’t. Not until she’d at least tried to sort things out on her own.
“I
just hate bad feelings in the group. Well, between anyone really.” Ben said.
“It kinda puts me on edge. And… oh you know what I’m like, I worry about
everything!”
“But
that’s okay, it shows you care.” Chloe reassured Ben, putting her hand on his
arm. “And you know I don’t mind listening if you want to talk. That’s what I’m
here for!”
God,
she was such a hypocrite.
Ben
looked at her in the way that made her feel all weak inside.
“I
love you so much, you know that?”
Chloe
nodded and said, “I love you too.”
Then
Ben put his arms around her and gave her a hug that Chloe felt he needed as
much as she did. For just a moment, all the things on her mind and all the
things she was worried about just disappeared. He tended to have that effect on
her.
They
were interrupted by a knock on the bedroom door.
“Come
in.” Ben said.
The
door opened and Paul stepped sheepishly into the room.
“Hi,
um… look mate, I’m really sorry, about earlier.” Paul said uncomfortably.
Ben
got up from the bed.
“That’s
okay.” He said, accepting the apology. “What were you arguing about?”
Paul
looked momentarily alarmed, as if he hadn’t planned on Ben asking that
question.
“Oh,
um, it was, er, just a stupid little thing. It got out of hand.” Paul said
hesitantly. “It’s cool now though.”
Chloe
looked at Ben. She could tell he wasn’t totally convinced by that explanation,
but prayed he wouldn’t push it any further.
“Good.
Where’s Mark?” Ben asked.
“He’s
um, talking to Chris still. He’s kinda got a bit of a black eye, so Chris
doesn’t think he should go to the meeting. Y’know, in case the press see it.” Paul
informed them, looking incredibly guilty.
“Oh,
okay. What are we gonna tell Tim and Vicky?” Ben asked.
“Chris
said we should just say Mark’s ill or something.”
“You
must have hit him pretty hard to give him a black eye.” Ben said.
“Well,
um, it’s not too bad. It’ll go down in a couple of days.” Paul said, completely
avoiding the question.
Probably
just as well, thought Chloe. She didn’t want to hear all the details, or even
anything about it in fact, it just made her feel worse. There was one good thing
to come out of it though she’d just realised. If Mark wasn’t going to the
meeting, then that meant he’d be staying here, or at least going home alone.
She’d be without Ben and so it would be a good time to talk to him about
everything. She didn’t really want to, to tell the truth she was worried she’d
just make things worse, but she felt she had to. She owed it to a1 to try and
make things right seeing as all this mess was her fault.
“I’ll
see you later then.” Paul said, looking desperate to get out of there.
“Okay.”
Paul
left the room hurriedly.
“I
should start getting ready to go then I guess.” Ben said to Chloe. “I’m sorry
you can’t come Clo. I did try to persuade Tim but he’s mean and he said no.”
Chloe
smiled. “It’s okay, I don’t mind. Really.”
Chloe
really didn’t mind. She just wanted to get this Mark thing sorted now.
“Don’t
worry about it.”
Ben
still didn’t look sure.
“Honestly,
I’ll be fine! I’ll probably just watch TV or something. It’s a novelty, I don’t
have Sky at home!”
Ben
broke into a grin and put his arms around her waist.
“I
just feel like seeing as you’re here, I should be making the most of it and
spending every second I can with you. I want to.”
“I
want to too, but I understand that you have to work. I always have, you know
that. And it’s not like you’re going away for a month. It’s just a meeting!
You’ll be back in a couple of hours.”
Ben
nodded. “And you’ll have Mark to keep you company. He’ll probably stay here
until we get back.”
He probably won’t, thought Chloe. Not if I’m here anyway.
“Yeah
that’s right.” She said. “So put some clothes on and go!”
Ben
looked down in confusion at his present attire of jeans and t-shirt.
“I
have got clothes on.” He said.
“Yes
I had noticed that, although it’d be much nicer if you didn’t…” Chloe added, smiling
mischievously. “But do you really want to end up in some magazine wearing the
clothes you’ve been wearing for two days and that you slept in last night?”
“I
see your point. But now,” Ben said, pulling Chloe closer to him. “I want to
stay with you even more. The no clothes thing can be arranged you know…”
Chloe
grinned. “Just change!”
Ten
minutes later, Ben was looking unquestionably gorgeous dressed in a clean pair
of jeans, denim jacket and red top, and was getting ready to leave. Chris and
Paul were already by the door. Chloe didn’t know where Mark was but no doubt
she’d find him, just before he ran screaming out the door in his haste to get
away from her.
“I’ll
see you later then babe.” Ben said. “I’ll try not to be too long but these things
tend to run over.”
“It’s
fine! Go! Take as long as you need to. I’m not going anywhere. You’ve got
another two whole weeks of me I’m afraid!” Chloe said.
“I
wish it was longer.” Ben said wistfully.
From
the look on his face, Chloe could tell he’d just had an idea…
“Ben!!
Are you coming or not?!” Chris shouted from the hallway.
…but
she guessed she’d have to find out later.
“You
have to go.” Chloe said to Ben. “Right now.”
“I
do. So I’ll see you later.” Ben said, giving Chloe a kiss before going to join
Chris and Paul.
Chloe
heard the front door slam and a car drive off.
Well
that was it then. She couldn’t put it off any longer. It was time to find Mark.
She
didn’t have to look for long as right at that moment, Mark came out of the
kitchen. Chloe took a deep breath. No time like the present.
“Mark.”
Mark
span round to look at her.
“I,
um, I need to talk to you.”
“Well
actually, I’m kinda busy. I was just…”
“STOP
AVOIDING ME!” Chloe shouted.
She
hadn’t meant to shout but she was sick of all this.
Mark
looked like he’d just been slapped.
“What?”
“Don’t
think I haven’t noticed what you’ve been doing.”
“Chloe,
I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Mark said quickly.
“Yes
you do! I know something’s going on. I don’t know exactly what you and Paul
were arguing about earlier, but I know for a fact that it was something to do
with me and what I said to Paul this morning. I don’t want to be responsible
for fallings out, especially when it’s not even my fault! I’ve tried with you
Mark, I really have, but it doesn’t seem to make any difference! So come on,
now’s your chance. Tell me what you really think about me, and don’t hold back.
I mean, it can’t be any worse than what I think your opinion is at the moment.”
Chloe
braced herself for the verbal put-down she expected to get from Mark as he told
her exactly how much he hated her. She was very surprised at his reaction to
her outburst.
Mark
put his head in his hands. “Oh god, this is a mess. I never meant to let it go
this far.” He mumbled.
“What?”
Chloe shouted in exasperation. “You don’t make any sense Mark! All I want to
know is what I’ve done to make you hate me so much that you walk out of a room
the second I walk in! Do you find me so dull that you can’t stand talking to
me? Am I so repulsive that you can’t even bear to look me in the eye?”
“No!”
Mark said.
“Well
then look at me!!”
Chloe
was getting fed up of just shouting at him. This wasn’t how things were meant
to go. They were meant to discuss things, sort the problem out, not have a
shouting match. This wasn’t going to solve anything. Especially if Mark kept
talking as cryptically as he had been doing so far.
“I
can’t!” Mark shouted back.
“Why?
What’s so wrong with me?!”
“Nothing!”
Mark exclaimed. Then suddenly, as though he couldn’t keep it in any longer, he
blurted out, “I love you.”
Chloe’s
mind went totally blank. She couldn’t take it in; it was as if what Mark had
just said had bounced off her head. He loves her? But, that can’t be right. He
hates her, right? Why else would he have been acting like that? It didn’t make
sense.
Chloe
was totally shocked. She didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t think.
“What?”
she said quietly, all the anger in her voice gone.
Mark
moved closer to her.
“I
love you, I always have done. And the reason I’ve been so cold towards you is
because I had to be. It was too dangerous to let you get too close, in case I
did something I might regret…” he said softly, moving still closer to Chloe.
Everything
in her head was screaming ‘NO! THIS IS WRONG! STOP!’ but Chloe was still
in a daze. She didn’t know what she was doing, still stunned from Mark’s
revelation, she didn’t feel in control of herself.
Mark
was now just inches away from Chloe. He looked uncertain yet hopeful and was
breathing heavily.
Chloe
looked down at the floor and then back up to meet Mark’s eyes. As soon as she
did, as soon as their eyes locked together, Chloe was overcome with emotion.
“Like
what?” she whispered, her voice barely audible.
Mark
looked at her as if he was trying to convince himself of something. Then he
took one of her hands in his and put his other hand gently against her cheek.
“Like
this.” He said, and then he kissed her passionately.
So
passionately it took Chloe’s breath away.
More
passionately than Ben had ever kissed her… Ben!!
Suddenly
coming to her senses, Chloe pulled away from Mark.
“No!
This stops, right now.”
“Why?”
Mark asked, looking a little stunned about what had just happened.
“Why?!
Because I’m with Ben and I love him.” Chloe replied, more to remind herself
than anything.
“Don’t
tell me you didn’t want it to happen.” Mark persisted.
“I
didn’t!” Chloe said, moving further away from him.
“Then
why did you kiss me?”
“You
kissed me.” Chloe said firmly.
“Oh
come on Chloe, you know it wasn’t just me. It takes two and you could have
stopped it happening if you’d really wanted to.”
Chloe
knew this was true and it hurt.
“I
think you should go.” She said quietly.
“Chloe…”
“Just
go!” she shouted.
She
needed to be alone. She had to think what she was going to do.
Mark
sighed. He picked his jacket up off the chair and left the house.