Stepping out of the car, tears from above continued to fall, yet Louise held hers in, knowing that if her storm struck now, it would do more damage then it was worth. Feeling the cold pain against her face as that brisk breeze swept behind her, she found Anton’s hands on her shoulders again, trying to bring her warmth; all he did was bring her back.

"You know Louise, you really should have waited for someone to come out with an umbrella. I hate to see you get wet… you could easily get a cold by it too, wearing just that… that top." Anton smiled. "Here, take my coat." He offered, taking his arms away from her shoulders and bringing them down to undo his buttons.

"No. No Anton… it’s… it is fine." Louise sighed. "I will be fine. We are here now anyway."

"Yes, yes well I suppose you are right," he agreed, opening the door and allowing her to step in.

Remembering that scent, that sight, that repulsed feeling, she shuddered once more, knowing what she had lost, or as she would say, what she should never have had. The purity around her, the blandness, the order probed at her, wanting to know why she was away; her reason for leaving, but when she now thought back to it, she couldn’t see why. Why had she left in the first place? Why did she want to be with him?

Gazing around what she had almost forgotten, Abigail’s sun shining face appeared from behind a cloud, startling Louise back into the act she deserved to win awards for. Being false was easy; Mark had managed to do it, so why did it now hurt for her to do so?

"Oh Louise. You are back. Did you have a nice time shopping?" She beamed.

"I er…"

"Yes, yes mother. Louise had a fabulous time." Anton replied, closing the door behind him as he looked at Louise pleadingly.

"Oh, good good." Abigail chirped. "Well I will not stop you. I am sure you have something you have to do, plus I have a meeting with the ladies from Sussex so I best get ready." She chuckled.

"Oh yes, that’s right, isn’t it mother? Well have fun. I am sure you will with Mrs Harrold." Anton grinned.

"Ahh, yes Anton dear. Let’s just hope she does not bring her little chiwawa!" Abigail wished before bursting into a loud chortle and then scuttling off.

"Sorry…" Anton whispered making Louise look up at him confused.

He had never apologised before.

"I had to tell a little white lie to mother so she did not know you were gone. We cannot have her knowing how I nearly lost my fiancée. That just would be a shambles." He explained, hanging his coat up on the hook ahead of him.

Standing there, frozen by the sudden hit of realisation, she once again felt trapped; even more so then the first time. This was a time she had put herself in, where she couldn’t leave; there was no flight. All she had was Anton as money had out done her, and as she thought back to those upsetting moments, she recalled how nice Anton had been to her and how much she owed him. Her happiness wasn’t important now, just like Mark was, no matter how much it crushed her inside. He had deceived her, like her mind had done in the very first place, believing she could escape. She was wrong for she was part of this socialite and there was nothing she could do to stop it, and now, no one to help.

"Louise. Louise?" Anton questioned, witnessing her standing so subjectively.

"Yes, yes," Louise answered, flinching away. "Sorry, I… I think I am a little tired. Maybe I should erm… go for a lie down. "

"Yes, that seems like a very good idea. Are you sure you are ok though?"

"I am fine Anton," Louise smiled weakly, seeing the care behind his obnoxious ways that often tippled out. "I… I just think I am a little tired. A small nap will help, I am sure of it."

"Ok Louise, whatever you want. Just as long as you are ok." He replied.

"I am Anton," Louise assured, walking towards the stairs.

"Oh Louise…" Anton called, dashing quickly behind her.

"Yea… yes?"

"I am glad you are back." He said sincerely, taking her hand. "I know that you really do love me, otherwise you wouldn’t have come back, and what happened these last few days, I think we should just put them behind us. What you did was shameful, but I am willing to forgive you just like I was willing enough to get you back. I… I know that what you did was unlike you, I personally blame that Mr Read for most of it, but now that you are back, I will ensure that you don’t have to do a thing. Anything you want you will have, and as long as I am with you, you will live like a Queen."

"I, er… erm… I am er, glad to be back." she fabricated, smiling falsely whilst his was genuine.

How could she ever become real again?

Retreating to her room, closing the door behind her, she collapsed down onto her bed and finally let the tears she had tried to hide, crash beneath her. Burying her head in the pillow, an often sanctuary where her emotions laid, she sobbed uncontrollably into the fabric, hoping they’d be a tunnel carrying a light. Emerging from such a great high, to now, a depressing state of low, was too quick moving for her, and when that high was at a point you wouldn’t expect, collapsed instantly in front of you, it tore chunk out of her. What was she supposed to do now? Just pick herself up and carry on? She had no choice.

"Lou? Lou… oh my god, I thought it was you! Are you ok? What’s wrong? What’s happened?" A voice came from the doorway, excited, yet concerned.

Tearing her eyes away from the pillow, draining that built up emotion, she looked up hesitantly, wiping her eyes quickly.

"Christie… hey… er… hi," Louise stuttered, adding to the mountains surrounding her waterholes.

"Lou… Lou what’s up? Why are you crying?" She questioned, sitting down on her bed. "What’s happened?"

"I… I dunno! I dunno where to start!" Louise exasperated, more tears forming.

"Aww Lou… Lou come on. You can tell me." Christie comforted. "Start from the beginning. Why are you back? Did Anton find you, what?"

"Anton found me, but its so much more worse then that!" Louise cried, throwing her head in her hands.

"What Lou? What?"

"I… I had just been shopping with Paul, Mark’s mate, and I got back and I was putting the stuff away and everything was fine. Mark was really sweet too… he came out to see me and everything. Ever since I got there he was so nice towards me. He really cared. He made me feel really good, happy, whole…" Louise explained. "But then Anton came. I don’t know how he found me but Mark assured me it’d be ok, he said so and I believed him!"

"But it wasn’t?" Christie asked.

"No, well… I dunno. All I know is that when I finally walked into the room to see what exactly was going on, there Mark stood with all this money in his hands! Like Anton was buying me… and the thing is, Mark was accepting it! He had it in his hands! Holding it!" Louise exclaimed, shedding away more tears.

"So, he was taking money off him to give you to Anton?"

"Yeah…" Louise confirmed, more tears slipping down her face. "I didn’t expect that from him, not him Christie because he understood me, he was there for me…" She explained. "I… I thought he might have loved me…"

Falling heavier, tears dropping like stones, not wanting to stop, Christie pulled her into a small hug, not knowing what else to do. What could she? Take her back or make her move on?

"Did… Do you love him Lou?" She queried sensitively.

"I… dunno. I think so, but how? How can I after that?" Louise asked, pulling away.

"Lou I… I… maybe there’s an explanation. I’m sure there is."

"I don’t think so…" Louise sighed, wiping her eyes once more. "But what I do know is that I hate it here, and there’s nothing I can do about it. Look what happened last time."

"Lou, if you want to leave, you have to. You’ve done it once, so why not again?" Christie persisted.

"Because there is no point. There is nothing out there for me, no one for me. All I have is Anton, and that’s all I’ll ever have. He’s caring and a nice enough man, so that’s what I’m gonna have to settle with. Others would be climbing over me to get where I am, so I should just count myself lucky."

"But what if it’s not what you want? I know it’s not what you want." Christie said.

"Christie, it’s not a case of what you want," Louise enlightened, "it’s a case of what you have to have."