Chapter Nine

Of course, nothing actually happened between us that night. Not in the physical sense anyway. You don’t think we... Uh-uh. Nope. I’m not that stupid. Or brave for that matter. It’s a pretty big deal, and the timing has to be right, or the both of you will just end up regretting it in the morning. And I knew that right now was definitely not the right time for me and Ben.

So we slept. In the same bed. And that was it. We didn’t touch at all…not so much as rolling over in the night and accidentally bumping into each other. It was a king-sized bed, and we made sure we kept as far away from each other as we could. I don’t know what was going through Ben’s mind, but I definitely didn’t trust myself to get too close to him.

One thing we did do though was talk. I figured that was pretty safe. We couldn’t get in trouble for talking, could we? Nobody ever got expelled from school for talking to their teacher…I mean, putting aside the whole sleeping in the same bed bit…

We talked about all kinds of things. I wanted to know all about Ben, what made him tick, what kind of person he was. If anything was ever going to happen between us, I wanted to make sure I was jumping in with my eyes wide open. I had to be sure that he was definitely the one for me. There was absolutely no point in either of us risking our education or careers for something that was simply going to be a bit of a fling.

He told me about growing up, how close he was to his family, and lots of silly stories from his student days. Going to university and becoming a teacher had never really been in his game plan, it was just something he ended up doing. Music was his first love, and he always wanted to be a singer or songwriter, but for one reason or another it had never happened. Up until now he’d always been frustrated at the fact that he hadn’t taken the plunge and followed his dreams…but he said now things were starting to slowly make sense…he realised it was all about timing, and that some things you just couldn’t control, because fate would take you in the direction you were destined to go…

I didn’t really feel that I had much to tell him about my life. I was only 17 afterall, I felt like a baby compared to him. I hadn’t been to university yet. Didn’t even know if I wanted to…but Ben made me feel like he was really interested in what I had to say. He wanted to know all about my family…I told him that I was an only child, but growing up I never felt like I had missed out by not having any brothers or sisters. I had known Ali and Chris almost my whole life. I’d grown up with them and shared everything with them, and they were just as close to me as any real brothers or sisters could be. Besides, the peace and quiet at home had always seemed like a huge bonus to me. If I wanted someone to talk to, some noise or some company, I’d go to Ali’s. But when I was at home it was always so serene, the perfect place for me to write and just let my imagination run wild.

When Ben asked me what kind of thing I wrote, I didn’t really know what to say. I don’t think anyone had ever asked me that before. Sure, my friends always saw me scribbling away in my diary, or in a notebook, but I guess they just figured that if I wanted them to read it, then I would show it to them. The truth was I had never, ever considered any of my writing good enough to show to other people. As far as I was concerned it was just mad scribblings that probably wouldn’t make sense to anyone else. I hadn’t even written anything in whole…I’d just start writing not really knowing where it was going to lead, and then get bored of it and start something else when my mood changed. I wrote for myself more than for anyone else. It was just a way of controlling all of the things that were going on inside of my head, an outlet for all those pent up emotions. Some teenagers went out and did drugs or mugged old ladies when life got a bit too much for them to handle. But I just wrote…

Ben seemed to understand where I was coming from. He said it was the same for him with his songwriting. I said that I’d like to hear one of his songs someday…he said he’d think about it, if maybe he could read one of my stories someday. I said I’d think about it…

I don’t know what time we eventually fell asleep, but it must have been late because we seemed to have been talking for hours. I couldn’t believe how easy it was to tell him what was going on inside my head…although we didn’t talk about our feelings for each other. Neither of us really wanted to rush things.

It was Saturday morning, so we slept in late. I woke up to find a shaft of sunlight pouring through the window, dancing over Ben’s face as I laid there watching him sleep. I wondered what it would be like to wake up like this every morning, with him, and not be worried about doing something that was so completely wrong.

I could rationalise to myself that we hadn’t actually broken any rules. Was there any law against us just sleeping in the same bed together? We hadn’t done anything…not really.

If it wasn’t for my phone ringing, I could’ve sat there all morning just staring at him. It did ring though, and I could see Ben stirring…I felt strangely as though we’d been caught.

"Hello?"

Shit! It was Ali.

"Where are you Sophie? I thought we said ten?"

"What?"

"We arranged to meet at ten, by the fountain in the shopping centre…only, I’m here, you’re not, and it’s now quarter past."

Ben had opened his mouth to speak, so I quickly put a finger to his lips to stop him. He looked at me puzzled for a moment, as if he hadn’t properly woken up. I pointed to the phone, and a look of realisation crossed his face.

"Look, I’m really sorry Ali…I overslept."

"Overslept? Where the hell are you anyway Soph?"

"What do you mean? I’m in bed…"

"That’s funny, ‘cos I called your mum and she said that you were staying at Lucy’s, so I called Lucy and she said she hadn’t seen you since last night…"

Shit.

"I …er…"

What could I say? I searched frantically for another friend I could be staying at. Couldn’t say Chris, as he was Ali’s brother, and she would’ve noticed that I wasn’t at her house…

"Lucy said there was a bit of trouble on your date? Said that performing arts teacher Ben was going to give you a lift home…"

There was nothing else for it. "Yeah, I…er…stayed at his house."

"What? You stayed at a teacher’s house?"

"Keep your voice down, okay? Look, I was upset, I didn’t want to go home and face my mum, so I crashed on Ben’s sofa, no big deal."

Ben sat up and looked at me, eyes wide open in horror.

"But I’d appreciate it if you kept it to yourself," I added quickly. "It would be so embarrassing if it got round the school."

"And you’re still there now?"

"Yes."

"Well what am I supposed to do?"

"Okay, give me half an hour and I’ll meet you."

I hung up on her and quickly leapt out of bed, and started pulling on my clothes.

"What did you tell her you stayed here for?" Ben asked, horrified.

"Because I had no other choice…she knew I wasn’t at home or at Lucy’s, and she’d already been told that you gave me a lift last night. She won’t tell anyone, it’ll be fine."

He looked at me suspiciously.

"I really have to go…"

As I reached for the door handle I had this overwhelming urge to give him a kiss goodbye, and had to try so hard to fight against it.

So I turned and blew him a kiss.

Okay, yeah, I know it was cheesy, but it made him laugh, and he did that really stupid thing where he pretended to catch it. My heart skipped a beat as I realised that we were already starting to do silly "couply" things. If I hadn’t been so overwhelmed with happiness at that point I probably would’ve run to the bathroom to throw up at the mere thought of what we were doing.

There was definitely a bit of a spring in my step as I jogged towards the bus stop. That’d have to go before I met Ali. She’d suss me out for sure if I was skipping along like a five year-old when I met her! But how was I supposed to hide all this from her? She was my best friend and we told each other absolutely everything. I know how hurt I would feel if I ever found out she’d been hiding something from me. So how would she feel if she found out I’d been keeping something this big from her?

I was keeping it from her for a good reason though. Surely she would understand when she found out…if she found out…what was there to find out anyway? So I’d stayed over at Ben’s house, big deal. Nothing happened.

Luckily it only took me ten minutes to get into the city centre on the bus, and I was only three quarters of an hour late by the time I met Ali. She’d obviously not spent the whole time waiting around for me, as she already had a TopShop and HMV bag in her hand.

She wasn’t going to let me get away with it though, and before I’d even reached her I could see she’d fixed her best "you’re late and I’m really angry" glare onto her face.

"I’m really, really sorry!" I apologised, trying my best to sound out of breath so she’d think I’d run all the way here.

She rolled her eyes at me. "Some of us actually had to get out of bed at nine this morning to be here on time. I wouldn’t have bothered if I’d have known you were going to be late."

I sighed. "What do you want me to do? Get down on my hands and knees and grovel?"

"Hmm, that’d be a start I guess."

"How about I shout you to a coffee?"

"And a cake?" she still looked deadly serious.

I quickly whizzed through my finances in my mind, realising that winning Ali round would mean not being able to buy that cute little top from Bay Trading for another couple of weeks. But in the end keeping my best friend sweet won out.

"Okay then, cake it is, but you have to show me what you’ve bought from TopShop in case I want to borrow it."

"And you can tell me all the goss about your date last night," she giggled, her mouth curling into a smile, "as well as the lowdown on a certain teacher who’s sofa you slept on last night."

I could feel the colour draining away from my face as the panic started to rise inside me. "There’s nothing to tell," I replied flatly.

"Oh c’mon Sophie, teachers don’t just go around inviting you to stay at their houses…"

"He was just being polite, I was upset." I wasn’t sure whether I was overdoing the frosty tone in my voice.

"So he didn’t try anything on with you then?"

I stopped and turned to look at her, horrified. "No! Why would he? He’s a teacher!"

"And a very cute one at that…"

"No he’s not!" I replied, maybe a little too quickly.

"The lady doth protest too much, methinks." She was clearly enjoying her twenty questions, and was determined to get some kind of gossip out of me at any cost.

"What’s that supposed to mean?"

"Well, it seems to me that someone’s got a little crush."

"Crush? On Ben?" I let out a little laugh that was so clearly the biggest fake laugh ever. "Don’t be silly."

"There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, I think it’s cute."

"Yeah? Well I think you should just keep your nose out…" The words were out of my mouth before I had a chance to stop them. I could tell she was hurt.

"Well, if that’s the way you feel, you can forget about the coffee, and the shopping." She turned on her heel and began to walk away.

"Don’t be like that Ali!" I called after her. I walked quickly to try and keep up with her, but she wouldn’t even turn around to look at me. "I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it. I just had a bad night last night with everything that happened with Matt, that’s all."

She finally stopped, and turned to look at me. "Is that really all it is?"

"Yes, really. What else would there be?"

"I don’t know, you’ve just been acting so odd recently. I know there’s a guy involved…"

I looked away.

"Having a crush on a teacher is nothing to be ashamed of," she blurted out. "Especially one as cute as Ben. I overheard Vicki Pye saying how good-looking she thought he was the other day."

I ried to ignore the jealousy bubbling up inside me at that remark, and concentrate on how I was going to get myself out of this conversation without a) giving away anything that was going on between me and Ben (not that there was anything going on between us!), or b) losing my best friend.

There was only one thing for it.

"Okay, so maybe he’s cute," I said, blushing.

Ali clapped her hands. "I knew it!"

"But he’s a teacher, right? It’s not like I fancy him properly or anything. That would be a total waste of time."

"Makes school a bit more exciting though, doesn’t it?" she giggled.

I smiled. "Yeah, I guess. But this stays between you and me, right? I’d be so embarrassed if anyone found out."

"I won’t breathe a word to another living soul, I promise…"