I wanna apologise to all Chris fans right now for one part, sorrrreeeeeee! Hope you enjoy it cos it’s taken me ages to do, the computer keeps playing up (maybe I should correct it to ‘we have a dodgy mouse’?)

Sammie blinked as the lights blinded her, and made her way down the lurid pink steps, aware of the red lights on the cameras as she sat down on the cushioned school, after air kissing Cilla. She glanced at the purple partition and wondered what the hell she was doing on the show.
      "Aye up chuck! How are you?"
      "I'm fine thank you Cilla, how are you?"
      "I'm fine too, oh, she's so polite" Cilla directed this comment at the boys behind the partition. Sammie couldn't see a1's approving looks, or the faces they were giving each other.
      "Have you got your questions ready?"
      "Yes I have Cilla"
      "Okay, you know the rules? You ask two of your questions, and we lose one of those three fine men. Then you ask your final question and choose out of the final two, and then you have the chance to date or ditch"
      "Okay"
      "So, before we begin" 'yeah, that's right, prolong the pain' Sammie thought " Tell us, what type of guy do you go for?" Sammie did some quick thinking.
      "Well, if you look like Ben Adams in a1 you're practically perfect" the audience giggled, and for a moment, Sammie’s face went blank. On the other side of the partition, Ben was playacting coy, but was extremely pleased nonetheless. "But honestly, as long as the guy is sweet and caring, and not too self obsessed or serious then by all means I'd be interested" Ben stopped winking at the camera, and covered his microphone to talk to Mark.
      "But you haven't had a boyfriend in a few years"
      The audience "awwwed"
      "So why have you been single for so long?" Sammie wanted to kill Kaz.
      "It's just a case of finding the right guy" she answered, luckily Cilla found this to be a reasonable response and didn't chase it, she merely said
      "Let's just hope you find him today, eh chuck? Have you got your first question?" Sammie looked at the first card.
      "Hi guys" she said almost shyly.
      "Hello Sammie" they said together. She giggled a little.
      "Well, my first question, and the most important, is-what qualities do you look for in a girl and why?"
      "Who's that to, chuck?"
      "Um, number one please"
      Ben sat up slightly in his stool. He had a brilliant answer. He gave a look of mock condescention to Mark and Christian.
      "Well Sammie-by the way that is a beautiful name and you have a wonderful voice" he said, trying to sound as sexy as possible. It worked, and Sammie blushed.
      "Um, thank you" she said quietly.
      "That's ok. Anyway, I've always been looking for a certain . . . je ne sais quoi in a girl, something which makes her stand out, and although there's this space and a big old bit of wood in-between us, I reckon you have . . . je ne sais quoi" He held his hands over his head in a 'champion' pose, and bowed to the audience, then blew a kiss to the partition, on the other side of which, Sammie was blushing furiously.
      "Um, same question to number two" she muttered. Mark posed as though he was thinking hard, then acted as though he had had a flash of inspiration.
      "Well Sammie, I'm quite young at heart, I'm really into Disney and Simpson’s and stuff, and my prefect girl would have to be young at heart too, and have a great smile too" He winked at the camera. Sammie was still recovering form 'number one's' answer, so she merely said
      "And number three please"
      "Uhm, I guess she has to be really confident and comfortable with herself, cos that'll make her very sexy, but she shouldn't know it either, that'll spoil the fun" Christian purred in his soft American accent.
      "Erm, ok. My next question is, well, I like to be entertained, so if you could entertain me, what would you do and why would you do it, and that's to number three" Sammie wasn't sure she could handle number one again just yet. Christian smiled.
      "Well, lucky for you Sammie, I am an entertainer. So I'd get out my guitar and serenade you, and if that doesn't work then I'll sing you some Norwegian folk songs" Sammie’s mouth dropped open and her eyes widened in horror.
      "And number two, what would you do?" she managed to ask.
      Mark turned his head to look at the partition.
      "Well, I used to sing on cruise ships, so I'd probably do a few renditions with my old band to entertain you, then teach you the lyrics to every song on the Simpson’s, so you could harmonise with me" Sammie was starting to think none of these guys was serious about the game, they had such weird answers.
      "Cool . . . . and, um, number one, what would you do?" she asked, half afraid and half excited about his response.
      "Well, first I want to say it feels like an eternity since we last spoke" Ben paused and heard Sammie giggle with Cilla, then Cilla warn him not to be so cheeky "anyway, these other two wannabes have stolen the music thing, which I also enjoy doing, so I guess I'd be a kissogram, coz I know we'd both find it very entertaining"
      The audience roared with laughter, and Sammie and Cilla laughed too. Cilla spoke up again.
      "Okay chuck, you're going to have to get rid of one of them so which one will it be? One, two or three?"