Sunshine shone through the gap between the curtains that we were too lazy to draw. Warmth flooded the room. I felt something brush across my face and I slowly opened my eyes. I looked up and saw Ben’s beautiful blue eyes gazing at me fondly.
“Morning darling,” said Ben in a chirpy voice before kissing me on my cheek.
Ahh, what a brilliant start to the day, I thought.
“Morning, have you been up long?” I asked.
“Nope, just before you actually.”
“Oh.. mmm.. I really enjoyed last night, too bad I was too tired to stay awake.”
“It’s alright, waking up next to you made me the happiest man in the world.”
“Aww, you’re so schweet,” I cooed as Ben enveloped me in his arms.
“Brit, sorry I’d love to spend the whole day here with you, but I’ve gotta get ready for a day of photo shoots and TV recordings,” apologized Ben.
“Argh, but it’s a Sunday..” I moaned.
“I know Brit, but gotta do what needs to be done. I’m gonna go wash up how if that’s ok with you?” said Ben.
I grunted in response, slightly ticked off that I could not get to see much of my boyfriend that day. BOYFRIEND. Ooh that sounded good.
Ben kissed my cheek again before walking out of the room.
I sat up in Ben’s bed and thought about what had happened over the past 2 days. So much had changed. Mark was no longer the one whom I loved, or wanted to be with. Ben was the one. All romantic thoughts of Mark had nearly been eradicated. I guess I was still in a daze-ever since Ben asked me to be his girlfriend, who wouldn’t be?
Everything seemed to be happening so fast, especially when we were making out on his bed. It was freaky how fast things between us were progressing, and it wouldn’t bee too long before we would get out of control and do something that we may regret.
I resolved not to give in to temptation just as Ben returned from the bathroom. He smelt so fresh and clean, thanks to the expensive shampoo thrown in for free by the hotel.
“You can go in now, then after that we can all go downstairs for breakfast at the café, how’s that?” said Ben.
“Sounds great!” I replied before going to the bathroom.
I turned on the shower and took a nice bath. The hot water pouring down my body was so relaxing that I bet I would have fallen asleep lest I was sitting down in the tub. Aromatherapy candles lined the table, and fluffy white towels hung from the rack above my head. I pulled one down to dry off after turning off the water.
It was then that I heard angry voices as a heated argument was exchanged. The shower head was dripping water, making a pitter-patter sound that really pissed me off.
“Bloody hell stop leaking!” I said angrily as I tried to stop the flow of water, trying to overhear the argument at the same time. Making up my mind that the quarrel outside was far more important, I abandoned the miserable shower and focused my attention on deciphering the words that were being said.
“What were you doing with Brit last night?”
“What business is it of yours?”
“She’s my friend and I’m looking out for her!”
“She’s my girlfriend! I can look out for her! You stay out of this!”
“She’s not your girlfriend!”
“She is!”
There was a pause before Mark spoke.
“She’s fooling around with you Ben.”
“Is not! Don’t accuse her of something that you know nothing about! You’re just bloody jealous!” defended Ben.
“Bollocks! She likes me! You heard Paul, it’s me she likes, not you!”
“…So? I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said yes! I even slept with her last night! She’s mine!” yelled Ben.
I gasped, I couldn’t believe he said that.
Mark gasped too, before speaking quietly, “so you really were sleeping with her when I got back last night.”
“Yes we were. See how serious we are? You are nothing in her eyes Mark. Never was, never will be,” taunted Ben.
“She’s just taking advantage of you Ben. She’s just a little bitch who’s after you for money and fame, just like every other fan out there who has tried it with you! She’ll leave you sooner or later, you’ll see. Get out while you can Ben,” said Mark, now slightly calmer.
“I’m not going anywhere,” said Ben through gritted teeth.
“Fine, you get hurt, you deserve it,” threatened Mark was he stormed back to his room.
“Fucking son of a bitch,” cursed Ben as I heard him pace up and down outside.
I sat down on the bathroom floor. I was so confused. Everything was mixed up. How could Ben lie about me to Mark? We obviously didn’t sleep together, so how could he make up such a thing about me? Hwy did he do that? To get back at Mark? What for? I trusted Ben, how could he do this to me? I felt so betrayed, he sounded so chauvinistic..
Then there’s Mark. Who the heck was he to call me a bitch? Furthermore he was not in the position to say that I was using Ben, because I wasn’t. I cared for Ben sincerely with all my heart. My impression of the two dropped drastically. One was my boyfriend, and the other was someone who I used to fancy. What should I do? I felt hurt and angry. I put my clothes on and taking a deep breath, I unlocked the door and left the bathroom.
Almost immediately, Ben turned around. I could tell that he was trying his best to hide his anger, but when he came over to put his arm around me, I could still feel him shaking with rage. I longed to just burst out and tell Ben what I had heard and just lash out at him, but something in me told me to keep quiet and act as if I didn’t hear anything, and wait and see if he tells me about it himself.
“Hey babe, erm, you didn’t happen to hear anything did you?” asked Ben nervously.
“No.. was I supposed to hear something?” I asked, trying my best to look innocent.
“No no.. nothing.. hey let’s go down for breakfast shall we?” suggested Ben as he showed me out of the suite. Throughout the lift ride, there was an uncomfortable silence. For one, I was still thinking about whether or not I should confront Ben, and two, I feared that if I opened my mouth to speak I would accidentally say something to imply that I had heard the quarrel.
“Brit you feeling alright? You’re being really quiet,” asked Ben concerned.
“I’m fine, just got loadsa things on my mind.”
“Well I’m here to sort out your problems. If you feel like talking..”
“You are my problem, damn it,” I murmured.
“What? Did you say something?”
“Just forget it,” I spat as I walked towards the café.
“Brit!” shouted Ben, pulling my arm firmly.
“Just fucking leave it!” I screamed, snatching my arm away from him.
Once I said it, I wished I could suck it back. Ben looked crushed. His eyes no longer reflected the happy carefree self he used to be, but a sad, lost and hurt person. His eyes looked all glassy and I knew he was close to tears. I felt so bad.
“You.. didn’t have to shout at me,” Ben quivered, hardly audible.
“I’m sorry. I’m just really stressed out right now. I don’t want to talk about it ok?” I apologized as I took his hand gently and walked into the café.
“Christian! Christian you up?” roared Mark as he pounded on Christian’s door, any harder and the whole door would have fallen off.
“What the hell is up with you?” Christian moaned as he reluctantly let Mark into his room, suffering from a hangover, having drunk til the wee hours of the morning.
“Ben slept with Britannia!” exclaimed Mark, not caring the least bit about Christian’s ear drums.
“Oww.. blasted ears.. Brit?.... Oh Britannia.. who slept with her?” asked Christian.
“BEN!!!” Mark hollered, making Christian jump with shock.
“For goodness sake can you stop shouting? You’re gonna wake Paul!”
“Paul sleeps like a bloody log.”
“Ok ANYWAY, so Ben slept with Britannia?” clarified Christian.
Mark rolled his eyes and repeated for the third time that Ben had slept with Britannia, and informed Christian that Ben had asked Brit to be his girlfriend. Christian made a remark bout what a fast mover Ben was, only to receive a whack on the head with Mark’s fist. Poor Christian, he had to suffer abuse at the expense of Mark’s fury.
“Well.. you can’t be sure Mark.. I mean how would you know? You weren’t there,” said Chris, who couldn’t come to terms with the news.
“Yes I was! While you were partying away like some drunken animal, I was back here and I heard Ben ask Brit if she was nervous and she said no, and then they started moaning and kissing and blech!”
“Mark, be reasonable! Perhaps they weren’t.. doing THAT. I’m sure Brit is a responsible girl. She wouldn’t jump into bed with Ben after barely 2 days,” said Christian calmly, trying to make Mark see sense.
“Mark, stop being so irrational, c’mon let’s go down for breakfast, and we’ll bring something back up for Paul I guess. Don’t mention anything to Ben and Brit.”
After that little squabble with Ben, I had lost my appetite for breakfast. I played around with my honey stars which had turned soggy after adding milk to it. Swishing them around in my bowl, I decided that I would approach Ben because the uneasiness between us was so unnatural and overbearing.
I glanced over at Ben, who had just returned with more toast, bacon and hash browns. He held out a cup of yoghurt to me.
“I got you a yoghurt, I hope you like this flavour.”
I tried my best to smile as I took the cup from him, but after taking it my hand shook and I dropped it on the floor. Tears stung my eyes and I bowed my head down low, sobbing softly.
Ben lent down to pick it up. He put his warm hand on mine and just stroked it without saying anything, trying his best to comfort me.
“Ben, I can’t take this anymore,” I said, drained of energy, as I dragged him out of the café and into the lift, into the suite and into his room.
I threw myself down on the bed and lay flat, facing up. Ben sat gently beside me. I bet he must have been feeling really bewildered, because I still did not tell him about what I had overheard.
“Ben,” I started, “I’ve got something to tell you.”
“What is it, Brit?” Ben whispered, afraid of what I was going to tell him.
I paused to compose myself, before blabbering what had been disturbing me that morning.
“Ben, I heard what you told Mark, this morning when you were fighting.”
“Oh Brit..”
“Why did you lie Ben? Why?! We didn’t do anything but you told Mark that we had! I trusted you!” I cried.
“Brit, listen to me..”
“What’s there to listen? You’re just probably gonna feed me with another lie that I’m gonna be so stupid as to believe it!” I bawled.
“Brit, I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking when I said that, alright? It just.. came out of my mouth before I could stop it! I really didn’t mean it, honestly I didn’t,” said Ben, trying to improve the situation when it obviously wasn’t helping.
It was easy to just forgive him, and put it behind us, but I did not want the matter to rest so fast because it concerned a very serious issue.
Ben bent over me and gave me a few firm kisses on my forehead before further explaining.
“I’m sorry I said that. I don’t know why I did it, well I do know why I did it, but..”
Ben sighed with a pained expression on his face.
“I just wanted you for myself that’s all,” he said, his voice fading.
My crying stopped and I pulled myself up, sitting next to Ben.
“What do you mean?” I asked him patiently.
“Mark provoked me,” defended Ben, “he said that you liked him and not me and that you were fooling around with me, and he went on to say that we won’t last long together and all sorts of mean things. I thought he was trying to take you away from me so I said that….I slept with you…so that…perhaps Mark might leave us alone…”
Ben looked away, his head bent with shame. Knowing that this time he was speaking the truth, I suppose I could forgive him. After all, he was thinking about us, how he was trying to protect our relationship. That was quite sweet, I thought.
“I hope this…incident…wouldn’t affect our relationship because I really really like you and it was just a slip of my stupid tongue,” said Ben dejectedly.
I out my arms around his neck and gave him the biggest hug I could muster. Ben hugged me back strongly, nuzzling into my neck.
“I forgive you.”
I felt Ben sigh with relief.
“And I want you to know,” I continued, “that it’s just you and me. Mark- who the hell is that? Like you said, he is nothing in my eyes. Especially after calling me a bitch for no good reason,” I said, convincing myself that Mark was no good for me.
“I’ll never leave you Ben.”
“I’ll never leave you either.”
“Paul! Breakfast for ya! C’mon get up, we’re gonna hafta get going soon,” shouted Mark.
Paul emerged from his room, looking reasonably dressed, except for the fact that he was wearing a blue sock on one foot and a black one on the other.
“Haha! Paul you’re still a little drunk eh? Go back in and change your socks!” laughed Christian as Paul staggered about, muttering something about not being able to find another pair.
Ben and I walked out of his room in mid-snog. We stumbled onto Christian, not looking where we were going.
“Ooohhh.. isn’t it the two lil lovebirds,” mocked Christian with a wide grin.
That remark made Mark turn around. Our eyes met for a brief second, but so many mixed emotions were conveyed through Mark’s eyes: hurt, disappointment, disgust, longing, and realization.
I was about to pull him aside to sort the matter out, when Christian said, “Brit, could you help Paul out for a while? He’s missing his sock.”
“Alright,” I answered, then leaving Mark’s eyes and Ben’s arms, I knocked on Paul’s door and went in.
“Hey Brit! Heh sorry I need some help here!” said Paul.
I smiled at him as I searched for the missing mismatched sock.
Out of the blue, Paul turned to me, putting his hand on my shoulder.
“Listen Brit, I know something’s up with you and Ben, and I know Mark’s involved too. Not forcing you, just telling you, that if you need to talk, or if you need some advice, I’ll be here for you.”
Paul had told Mark that I like him. He had broken my trust before, was I able to put my faith in him again?