Apologies again for the delay…I promise there are plenty more exciting things coming up in this fic, if I can just find time to get them out of my head and onto the screen. xxx
Chapter Eleven
Three days after the school disco, and the full implications of what had happened on Friday night were finally starting to sink in. I snogged my teacher. How gross was that? Saying it in that way made me want to pack my bags and emigrate to Australia, or somewhere else far away where nobody would know about the awful thing I’d done.
But it wasn’t as simple as that, I hadn’t just kissed a teacher. It was Ben – the guy I was becoming more and more convinced was the love of my life. It didn’t matter to me that he was my teacher, it was just a job after all, it wasn’t like we were hurting anyone. And he was only five years older than me – people with bigger age gaps than that dated all the time.
Why couldn’t it be the same for us?
Somehow I’d managed to avoid my friends since Friday night. It had been a difficult task, but a necessary one. Well, what was I supposed to say to them when they asked me where I’d disappeared to at the disco? "Oh, me and Ben just popped round the back of the bike sheds for a quick snog?" I think not.
I couldn’t avoid the inevitable any longer though. It was Christmas Eve, and we had this tradition of going to the local pub to see Christmas in with a few glasses of fizzy pop. Well, I say tradition, but it was in fact only the second year we’d done it. We were only 17 after all!
Don’t think I hadn’t tried to get out of it. I knew the interrogation would come once we got there, but my friends had the power of persuasion on their side. If I didn’t go to the pub, I didn’t get my Christmas presents. Not that I’m shallow or anything, but I figured if I prepared my story beforehand then it couldn’t be that bad. Could it?
As I stood with my hand out in front of me, ready to wrap it around the dull, brass handle of the pub door, I couldn’t help but feel nervous. My hands were physically shaking. It was ludicrous that I was getting this worked up about meeting my best mates for a drink. Anyone would think they were monsters the way I was carrying on!
Taking a deep breath I turned the handle, pushing the door inwards. It wasn’t difficult to spot them – the local was usually fairly quiet, and Christmas Eve was no exception. Most kids our age would be heading into town to hit the bars and clubs for a wild night out; in fact, we were probably considered sad for opting to spend Christmas Eve at our local pub.
At first they didn’t even notice I’d arrived. Lucy and Adam were sitting whispering together, while Chris was having some kind of debate with Ali, her boyfriend Karl looking on, slightly bemused. They were sitting on the far side of the bar, so I had a long walk to reach them, and as it was half empty I couldn’t even blend in with the crowd. At least the lack of people meant I didn’t attract too much attention, but I could still feel eyes burning into me as I strode across the room towards my friends. But while the rest of the bar were looking at me, my friends were in a little world of their own, and I was practically on top of them before they even noticed I was there.
"Sophie!" Ali beamed at me, clearly grateful for the distraction from the heated argument she and Chris were engaged in.
"I can’t believe you could even suggest that EastEnders is better than Corrie!" Chris snorted, and without even looking up added, "Hi Soph."
Ali sighed. "Tell me one way in which Corrie is better than EastEnders…"
"Adam Rickitt!" I giggled, as I plonked myself down on the barstool next to Chris.
Both of them turned to me and rolled their eyes in unison. "Pur-lease!" they chorused.
"Joke," I laughed, holding my hands up as if to demonstrate my innocence. "But at least I got you to agree on something."
"You do prefer Corrie though, don’t you?" Chris asked hopefully.
I frowned. "Actually, I think I’m more of a Hollyoaks kinda gal."
"I can’t believe we’re sitting in the pub on Christmas Eve talking about soaps," Karl groaned.
"Okay, let’s changed the subject," Ali smiled, a mischievous glint lighting up her eyes. "You disappeared very quickly on Friday night Soph…"
My heart rate suddenly got faster and I could feel my hands getting clammy at the prospect of lying, as all eyes turned to me. "I…er… didn’t really feel very well, so I decided to go home."
"I couldn’t see you when I came out looking for you," Chris said, puzzled. "Listen, I’m really sorry you know. About the request. It was just meant to be a silly joke."
I looked down at my hands, carefully examining my nails for any traces of dirt underneath them. "Yeah, well it wasn’t very funny," I said quietly.
Lucy had managed to drag herself away from Adam, and was now looking at me. "You sure you’re okay Soph?" she asked, a hint of concern in her voice.
"Oh yeah, great," I said, sarcastically, shooting Chris a dirty look. "It’s fantastic that the whole school now knows I have a crush on a teacher."
"Oh, I think you’re being a bit melodramatic," he scoffed.
"Am I? I’m a laughing stock thanks to you Chris."
"Don’t be silly," Ali said, reaching over and placing her hand on mine. "Nobody’s laughing at you, hardly anybody heard the stupid request."
"Vicki Pye did," I retorted, snatching my hand away.
"So you’ve got a crush on Ben, big deal," Adam shrugged. "So have half the girls in the sixth form. It’s hardly crime of the century."
"It’s not as simple as that hun," Lucy whispered. "A girl’s got her reputation to think about. And it’s embarrassing to know that, at 17 years old, you’ve still got a crush on a teacher."
I glared at her. "Can we just drop it please?"
They all looked at me, stunned, and I could read the concern in their eyes – they all thought I was a no-hoper who couldn’t get a boyfriend, so had to resort to silly crushes on her teacher. If only they knew…
"Do any of you guys want a drink?" Lucy chirped, clearly keen to break the awkward silence.
"That’d be great," I quickly replied, and desperate to avoid any more questions added, "I’ll come and help you."
They all nodded, and as Lucy and I headed towards the bar I could hear the others starting to chat among themselves – the Corrie versus ‘Enders argument was starting up again, and I breathed a sigh of relief that the state of my love life was no longer under scrutiny.
As soon as we reached the bar Lucy turned to me, that "I’m-going-to-get-to-the-bottom-of-this-whatever-it-takes" look on her face again.
"Are you going to tell me what’s bothering you?" she asked, in the sort of tone you’d use to talk to a small child.
I sighed and rolled my eyes. "When are you going to get the picture?"
"I’m trying, but you’re not making it very easy."
"I really don’t want to talk about it, okay?" I turned to the barman. "Hey, can I please get three glasses of white wine, two beers and...what’s Chris having?"
"Wine."
"Make that a bottle of wine please, four glasses." I started to rummage around in my bag for my purse, pulling a twenty-pound note out and handing it to the barman.
"Is there something going on with you and Ben?" Lucy suddenly blurted out.
I froze. "What?"
Lucy stared at me, a serious expression on her face. "You and Ben. Is there something going on?"
I stood quietly for a moment, hoping that the panic wasn’t showing on my face. "It’s just a stupid crush, nothing more."
"Are you sure he doesn’t have any feelings for you?"
"What makes you say that?"
"Well, that night in the restaurant he was pretty quick to jump to your defence. And you guys were really keen to get rid of the rest of us…maybe it was all planned beforehand?"
I let out a nervous giggle. "He was just being polite…it was a coincidence he was there. Do you really think a teacher would be interested in me?"
Lucy paused. "Why not? Sophie, you’re gorgeous, I wouldn’t blame Ben if he fancied you."
I laughed again. "Now you’re just being ridiculous…"
"Am I?"
"Yes. There is nothing at all going on between me and Ben…and I’d be really grateful if you didn’t spread rumours about me that aren’t true."
I grabbed the tray of drinks and turned on my heel, signalling to Lucy that this conversation was well and truly over, and the subject was closed.
As we approached the others I forced a huge smile, removing all traces of the heated discussion with Lucy. The last thing I wanted was any of my other friends getting a whiff of gossip and hounding me – it was bad enough that Lucy was getting too close to the truth for comfort. If I wanted to keep seeing Ben there was no way I could risk any of them knowing what was going on. I didn’t want to end our chances of a relationship before it had even started.
Once we all had a glass in our hands it was time for the best bit – opening the presents! There was definitely no hanging around with us lot, none of this carefully taking the wrapping paper off and savouring the moment. Once each of us had a present in our hands we’d have a race to see who could rip the paper off first. It looked as though Ali was heading the championship this year, although Karl was calling for her to be disqualified because her present had been smaller than the others, so he said it stood to reason that she’d be the quickest to tear the paper off.
I guess I didn’t do too badly all in all – a CD from Lucy and Adam, a DVD from Chris and some Disney goodies from Ali and Karl. I couldn’t help but think about how presents didn’t seem important though… I just wanted to see Ben…
Before long "time" had been called at the bar, and the lights started to dim, signalling it was time for us to leave. All of us lived pretty nearby, but as Lucy lived in the opposite direction to the rest of us, we said goodbye to her and Adam outside the pub. As the remaining four of us walked home, I felt a twinge of sadness at the prospect of not seeing Ben on Christmas day. I hadn’t even seen him since Friday night – what if he thought the kiss had been a mistake? What if he’d decided that his career meant too much to him, and it was too risky for us to start anything?
Ali insisted on walking me to my door, making sure I got home safely. But all I really wanted to do was be alone, and the silence that greeted me as I entered the sleeping house was somehow comforting. As I tiptoed up the stairs so as not to wake anyone I could feel a single tear rolling down my face. I didn’t even know why I was crying. It was Christmas Eve, I was supposed to be all happy and jolly!
Switching on my bedside lamp I started to get undressed, slipping on my warmest PJ’s and reaching for my make-up remover. As I leaned over I noticed the big red numbers on my alarm clock changing to midnight.
"Happy Christmas," I whispered to myself in the semi-darkness.
I nearly jumped out of my skin at the sound of my phone vibrating. I sighed as I finished taking my make-up off, knowing full well it’d just be Ali texting to wish me a happy Christmas. Climbing into bed and snuggling into my duvet I reached for the phone, pressing the button to show me the message. My heart leapt into my throat as the name "Ben" flashed up on the small screen.
"Happy Xmas babe. Wish I was there to give you a big Xmas kiss. Hope you’re free on Friday so I can give you your present. Love you, Ben x."
Smiling to myself, I reached over and turned out the light.