Chapter Twelve

Standing alone in the corridor outside Ben’s flat, the silence closing in on me, I could hear my heart pounding so loudly in my chest that you’d think he lived on the top floor of a high rise building, and the lift was broken. In actual fact he lived on the first floor, and I’d made my way slowly up the one flight of stairs leading to his flat. It wasn’t exhaustion causing my heart palpitations, but nerves. Because I was about to go on my first proper date with the man of my dreams. Or possibly because it was the middle of the school holidays, yet I was planning on spending the day with my teacher. How crazy was that?

Taking a deep breath I raised my hand up towards the shiny brass door knocker, before quickly forcing it back down to my side. What the hell was I doing? I was not only risking being kicked out of school, but Ben losing his job and possibly jeopardising his whole career. And for what? Some teenage crush, or a quick fling? I could just walk away now and nobody would be any the wiser. Nothing had happened between us yet – well, unless you counted that one, tiny, weeny kiss - but if we could just put that behind us we could move on, and just…

Both be miserable for the rest of our lives. Who was I trying to kid? There was no way I could walk away from this – from Ben – now.

Raising my hand again I reached for the door knocker, but before my hand had even made contact, the cold hard wood of the door creaked away, and instead my hand hit a person. Or rather, the person hit my hand.

"Oh my God, I’m so sorry!" I exclaimed, quickly retracting my hand as I brought my eyes up to meet those staring back at me.

"No, no, I’m sorry, I should look where I’m going," the stranger apologised. I couldn’t quite place it, but there was definitely something familiar about this guy.

"I was…er…looking for Ben," I stammered nervously, already feeling as though I had been caught doing something I shouldn’t.

The stranger stepped to the side as I struggled to place where I’d seen him before, and motioned for me to go in. "He’s around here somewhere," he said, before calling out, "Ben! Visitor!" And with that the door slammed behind him, and he was gone.

There was a moment’s silence as I stood in the hallway, not quite knowing what to do, and I could hear the noise of my pounding heart once again. I didn’t know whether to venture further in, or wait …what if Ben hadn’t heard his name being called?

Suddenly he appeared in the doorway, and I felt a million butterflies let loose in my stomach. He broke into a huge smile as soon as he saw me, and the twinkle in his eyes lit up his whole face, as though he’d suddenly come alive. At that moment I knew nothing else mattered – he wasn’t my teacher, we were simply two young people about to go on our very first date. And I was more nervous and excited than I’d ever been in my whole life!

"Don’t move an inch!" he grinned as he started walking towards me, his eyes flickering to focus on something above my head.

"Why? What’s…" I followed his gaze until my eyes came to rest on the sprig of mistletoe hung from the light fitting on the ceiling above me. I laughed. "Anyone would think you put that there on purpose so that everyone who walks through this door has to kiss you."

He screwed up his face. "If that was true I’d have to kiss Mark every time he came home!"

"Your flatemate?" I asked. "Was that him just then?"

Ben nodded. "Yep, that’s him."

I frowned. "He looks really familiar, I’m sure I’ve seen him somewhere before."

"He’s a DJ," Ben explained. "He was the guy who did the school disco."

I cringed with embarrassment as I recalled that night, and the request that Chris had put in for me. "Ah, so that’s where I’ve seen him. Does he know about us…I mean, that we’re going out together…somewhere…today?"

Ben shifted nervously. "He knows I’ve got a date…but he thinks you’re a teacher."

There was an awkward pause as the reality of this whole situation hit me. Ben was already lying to cover our tracks – it was one little lie, but how many more were there going to have to be? And wouldn’t Mark put two and two together sooner or later, and realise what was really going on?

I didn’t want to think about that right now though. For once I wanted to forget Sensible Sophie and throw caution to the wind – I wanted to have fun, I wanted to follow my heart for a change rather than my head. And I wanted to just once see what it felt like to be with someone I was in love with, and to be loved back.

Nervously I took a step towards him, so I was close enough to feel his warn breath on my face. Whispering, I asked, "So do I get that kiss then?"

Leaning forward he placed his lips on mine, and before I knew it we were kissing, slowly and gently. For the first time I truly relaxed with him, confident in the knowledge that the headmaster wasn’t about to walk in on us. And boy, did it feel good!

As he pulled back from me I couldn’t stop the huge grin that spread across my face. I couldn’t believe this was finally happening to me! After spending my whole life watching my mates being loved up, it was my turn. I wished more than anything I could shout it from the roof tops…

"I hope you don’t kiss all your sixth form students like that," I giggled.

Ben frowned. "No, not all of them – just the girls!"

"You’d better not!" I said, punching him playfully on the arm. "How’s about giving me another kiss?"

He shook his head. "As much as I would really love to stand here and kiss you all day, I’ve spent ages planning this date, and I’m not going to let all my hard work go to waste."

I raised an eyebrow towards him. "Hard work? You? Sounds intriguing…where are you taking me?"

"Ah, well before I tell you, you need to open your present."

"Oooh, I love presents!" I said, clapping my hands with enthusiasm. "Where is it?"

"If you’d like to step this way into the lounge, I think you’ll find it sitting on the coffee table."

I followed Ben into his lounge, and memories of the night of my disastrous double date with Lucy, Adam and Matt came flooding back to me. I’d found myself back here that night, after Ben rescued me, and it was then I realised this wasn’t just some teenage crush that would go away. But even then I never dreamed I’d be back here now, embarking on an illicit liaison. Ooh, I was turning into such a rebel!

Sitting on the table was a present wrapped in shiny gold paper, with a big red bow. Full marks to Ben for actually wrapping it – I always thought men didn’t bother with things like that. But then, I don’t think I’ve ever had a present from a guy before who hasn’t either been a member of my family, or Chris, so maybe all boyfriends were this thoughtful.

Oh my God, did I just think of Ben as my boyfriend? We hadn’t even got past the first date yet!

"Are you going to just stare at it all day, or do you want to open it?" Ben teased.

"Oh, I’m definitely going to open it, but first…" I delved into my bag and produced a present, holding it out towards Ben…"this is for you."

He took it from hands, eyeing the small, hard package suspiciously. "Who’s going to open first?"

"Why don’t we open them at the same time?" I suggested, as I sunk myself into the sofa.

He nodded as he sat down in the empty space next to me, and we both held the presents out in front of us, preparing to unwrap. "Okay, on the count of three. One…two…go!"

"That’s cheating, you didn’t say three!" I giggled, as we both eagerly tore the paper off the presents.

Inside mine was a stripy hat, scarf and glove set. "Ooh!" I squealed. "This is so cool – and in my favourite colours too!"

Ben held up his CD, pouting. "The Nick Carter album?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

I giggled. "Well, I know you’re a very big fan of the Backstreet Boys, so I thought you might appreciate Nick’s solo album."

"I’m never going to live that Backstreet Boys album down, am I?" he laughed.

"Nope," I said, making a lasso out of my scarf and throwing it round his neck, then using it to pull him in closer to me. "Thanks for my present," I whispered, as I planted a quick kiss on his lips.

Ben frowned at me and shook his head. "Kissing a teacher, now strictly speaking, I think that’s against school rules. I may have to put you in detention young lady."

I smiled slyly at him. "And what if I kiss you again? Will that get me a Saturday detention?"

"I don’t know. Why don’t you try it and find out..."

I leant forward and kissed him again, but this time more aggressively. It was more passionate than before, and suddenly I felt like a completely different person. I was in control. I wasn’t the nervous, shy girl that I usually was. It was like Ben had awakened new feelings in me that I never realised existed before.

"Wow," he said, grinning at me. "I think that’s just earned you a whole month’s worth of detentions."

I smiled. "Maybe we can do them here…"

"And maybe we can discuss it in the car," he said, suddenly jumping up.

I sat there on the couch, staring up at him. "Do we have to go out? Can’t we just stay here and snuggle up?"

"No! I told you, I’ve made plans."

"What if someone sees us?"

"They definitely won’t see us where we’re going," he grinned. "So come on, and don’t forget your scarf and gloves!"

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

As we drove through country lanes and little villages the radio blared out Christmas songs – despite the fact that Christmas was three days ago. Just a week ago I’d been so sick of hearing all the same songs over and over again, that I’d sworn to myself if I heard Mistletoe and Wine one more time, I’d throw the radio out of the window.

Yet here I was, with Cliff singing his little heart out, and Ben singing along too – and suddenly the song didn’t seem so bad anymore. It was the first time I’d heard Ben sing, and I was mesmerised. Having never been able to sing a note in tune in my entire life, it always fascinated me to hear someone with a good voice sing, and I was constantly in awe of the sounds the came out of people’s mouths. But with Ben it was on a whole new level. The silky sound that filled the car just blew me away, and I wondered if there would ever be a time when Ben ceased to amaze me.

There wasn’t much talking between us in the car, but the silence was kind of comforting rather than awkward. I didn’t feel like we needed to make conversation with each other – just being together was enough, and while Ben was singing I didn’t want to talk. I just wanted to close my eyes and listen to his voice.

After driving for about an hour we pulled into a dirt track and stopped. Ben turned off the car engine and turned to me.

"Right, we’re here," he announced.

I looked out of the window. We were surrounded by trees, it looked like some kind of woodland, and all I could hear was a distant rumble of cars whizzing along the main road, which was way back where we had just come from.

I nodded. "Uh-huh, and where exactly is ‘here’, Ben? We’re in the middle of nowhere!"

He smiled. "Yep, I know. Isn’t it great?"

"Yeah, fantastic. And what are we going to do in the middle of nowhere?"

He opened the driver’s side door and started to get out. "C’mon on, you’ll see."

I sighed as I got out of the car – and nearly jumped straight back in again as the cold hit me. I pulled my coat tighter around me as I shivered.

"Ben, it’s freezing out here!" I groaned through chattering teeth.

"What do you think the present was for?" he asked, as he stretched his arms out and took a deep breath. "Don’t you just love the smell of country air?"

"You’re mad!" I giggled, as I ran round to his side of the car and snuggled up to him, desperate to get warm.

He wrapped his arms around me, gently placing a kiss on top of my head. His breath was warm and I didn’t want to move, because I knew the moment I did I’d get cold again. I’d only been out of the car for two minutes and my feet were already starting to feel like ice.

I looked up at him. "I wish you’d warned me we would be spending the day outside – I would’ve worn thicker socks!"

"Who said we were spending the day outside?" he said, mysteriously. "C’mon."

He grabbed my hand and started walking towards the trees, and the smell of pine filled my nostrils. I could see what Ben meant now about the country air, it was so good to get out of the hustle and bustle of the city, and away from all that pollution. Not to mention the prying eyes of other people. At least in the middle of a forest we weren’t likely to bump into anyone we knew from school. We’d be very unlucky if we did!

The further we walked, the quieter the noise of the traffic got, until - no matter how hard I strained my ears - I couldn’t hear it at all. We were surrounded by silence, apart from the squelching of soggy leaves underfoot, and the odd rustling sound as birds flitted from branch to branch.

As we walked past tree after tree, we eventually came across a small brown hut set back a bit from the main path, and Ben suddenly veered off towards it. As we got closer I could see a white sign on the door, which said in big red letters "Forest wardens only, no public access." But we were definitely heading towards the door.

"Er, Ben," I whispered, not wanting to shatter the peacefulness of the forest. "We’re not supposed to go in there, it says on the door, look."

He turned to look at me, grinning. "And teachers aren’t supposed to date pupils, but that’s not stopping us, is it? Now, just stand here a minute."

He disappeared into the hut, and I noticed there was a window in the side. There was a strange sort of orange light coming from inside, but before I got the chance to go over and peek, Ben had re-emerged and grabbed my hand.

"It’s okay," he whispered. "Everything’s ready, we can go in."

As he pushed the door wide open I stepped inside, and let out a gasp. It was a lot bigger on the inside than it had looked on the outside, and as well as a roaring open fire in one corner, there seemed to be a million candles burning around me. In the middle of the floor was a huge tartan rug, spread out with cushions around the edge and a picnic laid out in the middle. As Ben closed the door behind us the feeling was already beginning to come back to my toes, and I gently tugged my hat off as my head started to warm up.

"Wow," I whispered, not really believing what I saw in front of me. "This is amazing Ben. How did you do all this?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "One of my mates is a warden here, he owed me a favour. I came here early this morning to set everything out, and all he had to do was light the candles for me."

I stood there, still rooted to the spot in disbelief. Nobody had ever done anything like this for me before. The only times I’d been out with boys when I was younger, we’d gone to the bowling alley or McDonalds! This really was something else.

Ben took my coat and hung it on a hook on the back of the door, and then hung his own over it. He motioned for me to sit down on the cushions, and then sat down opposite me. There was a tall candle sitting in a gold holder in the middle of the picnic, and I watched as the shadow of the flame danced on Ben’s face, mesmerised.

"Well?" he asked. "Do you like it?"

I nodded. "I love it. I can’t believe that you did all this just for me."

Ben laughed. "Well, I could hardly take you to the local multiplex to see Love Actually, could I? Can you imagine us snogging in the back row with half of year 10 sitting in front of us?"

I giggled. "It’d make their day – the biggest scandal the school has ever seen!"

There was a moment of silence between us, and I could tell we were both thinking the same thing.

"It would be a huge scandal if it got out, wouldn’t it?" I asked.

Ben nodded. "But let’s not think about that now, huh?" He motioned towards the picnic. "Tuck in."

I looked at the food laid out before me. There was so much that I didn’t know how we were ever going to eat it. There were sandwiches, breadsticks, dips, fruit, mince pies, little chocolate logs…anyone would think it was banquet! As I reached over for a turkey sandwich, Ben produced a bottle of wine and started pouring it into a glass.

I raised an eyebrow. "I hope you’re not trying to get me drunk. I am underage, you know!"

"Oh, this is for me. There’s some orange juice for you!" Ben teased.

"Cheers," I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes. "Did you make this all yourself?"

"Yeah," he replied, unconvincingly. "With a little help from Mark…"

"And his mate Spencer too I suppose?" I laughed.

"Okay, so I bought most of it…but I made the sandwiches myself!"

"I still can’t believe you did all this for me…"

"Why can’t you believe it?"

I shrugged. "Because nobody’s ever done anything like this for me before."

Ben laughed. "Oh, I don’t believe that. You must have had loads of boys wanting to date you."

I looked down at the mince pie in my hand, playing with it nervously. "No, not really. Lucy and Ali were always the ones who got the guys. They were always the pretty one and the clever one…I was just the boring one!"

"Well, I don’t think you’re boring," Ben said, moving around to my side of the rug. "I think you’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met."

I could feel my face flushing red, and was glad of the heat from the candle to disguise my embarrassment. "Really?"

"Yeah," he whispered, moving in closer, until his lips were brushing against my ear. "In fact, I think I‘m in love with you."

Moving my head slightly so that my lips were brushing his ears, I whispered back. "Well, that’s a real shame, because I’m actually in love with my teacher!"

We both laughed, and as I moved my head back, Ben leant forward and once again placed his lips on mine.

For the first time in my life, I knew the meaning of true happiness.