Chapter five

November had been and gone, and before I knew it the Christmas holidays were fast approaching. Only, I wasn’t exactly finding it easy to get into the festive spirit. The thought of having two weeks off school, and getting to spend the party season with my mates, was usually enough to have me running around like an excited kid in a sweet shop.

But this year was different. All I kept thinking was that I wouldn’t see Ben for two whole weeks. I know it sounds like such a cliché, but he really was all I wanted Santa to bring me.

I guess it didn’t really help that my friends hadn’t been around much lately. Ali and Carl were as loved up as ever, which is really not a sight you want to see when you’re single. I’d heard rumours from his mates that he could be getting down on one knee and popping the question for Christmas. It wouldn’t surprise me if he did, he thought the world of her and everyone knew they’d get married someday.

Ali didn’t care much for gossip though, and dismissed it with a wave of her hand.

"You really shouldn’t listen to gossip, Soph. Carl would never spring something like that on me without us discussing it first. We’re far too young to get married."

"But you’re both so much in love!" I said, with the kind of dreamy tone in my voice that revealed I’d been watching way too many soppy movies. "Wouldn’t a fairytale wedding just be perfect?"

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, and expensive. Do you have any idea how much it costs to get married? There’s no way we could afford it…and anyway, I’m off to uni in 18 months. I want to get my career well on track before I even think about marriage."

"Have you told Carl this?" I asked quietly.

"I don’t need to tell him. He knows I’m not ready to settle down yet."

I wasn’t quite so sure Carl knew that, but past experience told me that meddling in other people’s relationships was never a good idea.

Then there was Lucy. She’d successfully completed "phase one" of her plan to net Adam Maguire. This, from what I could work out, meant that he not only knew she existed, but he also knew that she was available, and interested in him.

"I had hoped to be onto phase two by now," she’d sighed sadly, as we sat watching the under 19 football team practising one lunch time.

"What’s that then?" I asked through a mouthful of sandwich, not really being clued up on the various stages of the dating game.

"The first date of course," she giggled. "We really are going to have to get you a boyfriend, Soph."

Urgh, that was the last thing I wanted right now. Well, unless it was Ben of course, but I already knew that wasn’t going to happen.

Even Chris had been strangely absent from our normal activities. He’d mysteriously pulled out of our weekly Wednesday night trip to the cinema, claiming he had too much homework to do. I can’t remember him ever handing a piece of homework in on time, so I had no idea why he was suddenly starting now. Vicki Pye said she’d seen him in McDonald’s with that John guy from the upper sixth. Obviously he’d just got himself some new friends, and didn’t know how to tell me…

I didn’t think they even noticed I was there half the time, let alone cared about the inner turmoil I was going through.

And to be honest with you, it did kind of hurt. I mean, how many times had I had to sit and listen to their romantic problems? Not Chris so much I guess, it’s not really the kind of thing boys talk about, is it? But I’d lost count of the number of times I’d had to listen to Ali droning on about Carl, or Lucy going on about whoever was flavour of the month.

Not that I could really tell them what was on my mind. How do you tell your mates that you’re in love with your teacher? And that you think he’s got feelings for you too? Maybe it was a good thing that they weren’t around then, that way I could avoid any potential questioning about the non-state if my love life.

So as you can imagine, it came as quite shocked when, one December afternoon in the sixth form common room, I came out of a daydream about Ben to find Ali sitting on the sofa opposite, completely silent, staring intently at me. I nearly jumped right out of my skin.

"What are you doing?" I giggled, trying to hide my embarrassment at being caught day dreaming. "You nearly frightened me half to death!"

She sighed as she looked at me, a frown appearing on her face. "I do wish you’d tell me who he is."

"Who who is?" I asked, confused.

"Whoever it is that’s making you act all weird."

"What do you mean, weird?"

"Like you’re on some other planet."

"I don’t know what you’re talking about."

I wondered how she knew there was someone…I guessed it was just that best friend thing, where you spend so much time together, you can read each other’s minds.

"You’ve seemed a bit down lately…"

"I’m not down." I said, forcing a smile to illustrate the statement.

"Well, you’re not exactly happy, are you? You’ve been moping around with a face like a wet weekend for the past couple of months."

I shrugged. "So I’m not all happy and smiley. It’s hardly a crime. Who says it has to have anything to do with a guy?"

Ali laughed. "You’re a 17 year old girl, it usually does! Besides, I know it can’t be to do with school, because you’ve always done so well. Although there was that thing Chris told me about where you wanted to quit one of your classes…"

"That was nothing," I said quickly. I could feel my heart rate getting faster as I panicked about Ali finding me out.

"And I know there’s no problems at home, because I asked your mum…"

"You spoke to my mum?" I spluttered. "Behind my back?"

"I’m worried about you, Soph. What am I supposed to do when you won’t talk to me? I’m your best friend, I thought we told each other everything?"

"We do."

"Then why won’t you tell me what’s wrong?" She moved across to sit next to me, placing her hand on my knee. "Look hun, I know you don’t exactly have a great track record in the boyfriend department, but that’s nothing to feel bad about. You’ll meet someone soon."

"Maybe I already have…" I knew as soon as I’d said it that I shouldn’t have.

"So there is a guy!" She said, her face lighting up at the prospect of some gossip.

"Look, Ali, I know you mean well, and you’re only trying to help, but I really don’t want to talk about it."

"Why not?"

"It’s just…" I paused, looking for the right excuse to end the conversation. "…it’s complicated, that’s all."

"It’s not somebody who’s already got a girlfriend is it?" she asked in horror.

"No, nothing like that…look, can we just drop it please?"

Luckily for me, Lucy walked into the common room at that very moment, and all heads turned. She had this way of making an entrance so that nobody in the room could fail to notice she had arrived.

She swept her eyes over the room quickly, and they lit up when she spotted us as she dashed over.

"Guess what?" she squealed, pulling me and Ali in closer, and looking around to make sure nobody else was listening. She lowered her voice to an excited whisper. "The stage is set for phase two."

Ali looked at her blankly.

"First date," I explained, rolling my eyes.

Ali clapped her hands together. "Ooooh, that’s so exciting! C’mon then, spill. Where’s he taking you? Oooh, and what are you going to wear?"

Lucy paused, her eyes darting from me to Ali, and then back to me again. "Well, there’s just one, teeny, weeny little catch…"

I eyed her suspiciously. "Which is…?"

She bit her bottom lip. "It’s not bad, really. And you do have to remember Sophie, that you are one of my very best friends and I would do the same for you if you were in my situation…"

I groaned. "I can tell I’m not going to like this."

"No, you are, promise!"

"What is it?"

"Well, you know Adam’s best mate Matt? The really cute one, he’s the vice captain of the U19 team?"

I nodded.

"Well, he really, really likes you. And I kinda said that you’d kinda go on a double date with us…"

"You what?" I couldn’t believe she’d set me up on a date with a stranger! Although…did she just say he liked me? Really liked me? That was kind of flattering, wasn’t it? That was beside the point though…he wasn’t Ben!

"Oh no, please don’t be mad, he’s really very nice, and they’re taking us to a really nice restaurant. So even if it doesn’t lead to anything, you’ll get a free meal out of it."

"That sounds great!" Ali piped up. "Matt’s really cute, and he could be just what you need to take your mind off this mystery guy of yours."

"What mystery guy?" Lucy asked.

"Oh nothing," I said, shooting Ali a look that told her to shut up. "When’s this date then?"

"This Friday night."

"Lucy, that’s tomorrow!"

"Yeah, I know. Please say you’ll come, Soph! You know how much this date with Adam means to me!"

"Then why do you want two other people tagging along?"

Lucy pulled a face. "I don’t know, Adam owes Matt a favour or something. It’ll be fun though, and I’ll be there with you. Please?"

Her eyes were wide and pleading, and although the last thing I wanted was a date with some guy from the football team, I wasn’t the kind of person to let a friend down.

"Okay, I’ll go. But I’m only doing it for you okay? Don’t go getting any ideas about me and this Matt guy getting all cosy."

She leapt up and hugged me so tightly I could barely breathe. "Thank you so much, you’re one in a million."

"And you owe me one!" I giggled.

"You’ll be thanking me tomorrow night when you and Matt have a great date!" She said, winking at me.

Somehow, I very much doubted it…