Congratulations! Based on inflation, taxes, the anticipated world
economy, melting icecaps, free love, the global yeast war of 2017, the Canadian depression
of 2021, and your personal financial outlook, you can expect to be worth one
million dollars at...
33 years old!
This is how you'll make (or lose) big bucks during your very eventful
life. Match these events on your personal timeline with the graph to see their
effects.
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2002: You discover a cure for
the common herpe.
|
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2003: Bumrushed by bums.
|
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2006: Hamburgling no longer a
crime. All meals free from now on.
|
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2008: Crotch-less pants prove
too casual for casual Fridays. You're fired.
|
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"Hi, I'm Bill
Gates, founder of Microsoft, noted crap-monger, and star of TV's Melrose Place.
I'm also a psychic. Anyway... I predict that your first million dollars will be made in 2013, in the following ways: " |
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$114,000 through
insider trading.
|
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$112,000 being a
star.
|
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$110,000 through
lucrative nerd-ism, like me, Bill Gates.
|
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$108,000 criminal
mischief.
|
 |
$224,000 working
9 to 5.
|
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$281,000
'working' between the sheets.
|
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$51,000 odd-jobs
for the Pope.
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