We open up in the SWA headquarters in Birmingham, Al. We look down in a B.E.V. shot at a 45-degree angle of Studio A, the one reserved for “SWA Insider”. We pan down and finally end in a long medium shot.

Charles Davis: And welcome to the fist SWA Insider.

The woman sitting on the other side of the desk rolls her eyes, already slumped in her black leather chair, her notes sprawled out in front of her.

Vex: Yeah, whatever... Can we get this over with instead of playing Mary Sunshine?

Charles Davis: Why Vex its not like you have a match to attend, Folks we have six get matches on this weeks Domestic Disturbance but before we get to that, let us take you back to last week.

Vex: Woo woo... roll the damn footage.

Charles Davis: We started off the show watching Sean Morgan literally dismantle Zarian Saint.

Vex snorts.

Vex: No surprise there. Zarian Saint's been smelling up this place for way too long. Good thing he's not gonna have the chance anymore.

Charles Davis: But that doesn't justify Sean's attack on Zaian after the match.

Vex shrugs.

Vex: Why not? It's not like Saint was doing anything productive.

Charles Davis: So you’re telling me that just because your a bad wrestler you should be beaten?

Vex smirks.

Vex: I think he's got it, boys and girls!

She folds her arms over her chest, looking rather smug.

Charles Davis: Somehow I don’t understand how you get through life with that logic.

Vex: A lot of blood. Pansy boys like you couldn't handle it. Can we move on? I'm bored.

Charles Davis: And what about Dante defeating Three.

Vex shrugs.

Vex: Well you see... I know Dante from back in the day. I can't say I'm too surprised. He may act like he's got a stick up his ass sometimes, but he's got himself together when he gets in the ring. And Three is just... dumb.

Charles Davis: And then in the probably most lackluster match of the night, new comer Meghan Sheffield defeated Miss Mona and Raveness. Right of I must say that I was hurt by Raven’s lack of performance.

Vex scoffs.

Vex: Maybe you were hurt.. but I bet you're not surprised. Lazy ass women.

Charles Davis: And in the biggest upset of the night, Tytus Arnol defeated Geno for the SWA Regional title.

Vex: Uggggh... I don't know who's worse. Geno whining after losing it or a big fat idiot like Tytus having it.

Charles Davis: If you weren’t a fan of the other matches, the the Rey Pierve vs. Vin Halsted had to be a treat for you.

Vex smirks.

Vex: Only when Vin got his face stomped in.

Charles Davis: Which was terribly unneeded and incredibly immature by Shadow, who is SUPPOSED to be a champion.

Vex grins.

Vex: Hell, don't you get it? She's doing what a champion is SUPPOSED to do, and reminding Vinny Poo how she got to be number one... by cracking skulls.

Charles shakes his head.

Charles Davis: Vin came out on top of Rey in the end. The main event was a sure pleaser as Doug Watson gave a valiant effort to dismount Minos from his pride horse.

Vex raises an eyebrow.

Vex: You don't think the guy has a little right to be proud of himself? He's undefeated.

Charles Davis: Unfortunly for Doug, Minos routed him. And that’s all the great activity that happened last week. But what about this week? Vex: Uhh... more idiots than you can shake a stick at?

Charles Johnson: No wonder you no longer wrestle, you have no public speaking skills.

Vex rolls her eyes.

Vex: My fists talk for me, thanks. Want to find out how well, jackass?

Charles Davis: I'll pass on the rousing event.

Vex: Good for you, buddy! I wouldn't want to have to pop you one and have to wash your blood off my knuckles. Now continue on with your little babble, so I can try to keep the people out there awake, alright?

Charles Davis: 6 great matches and 6 great winners, lets waste no time by diving in.

Vex cracks her knuckles.

Vex: Idiots and assheads galore this week. Who's our first lambs to the slaughter?

Charles Davis: We start of with an interesting match, newcomer Salvadoor Damage takes on Geno who’s trying to get back in the Regional title hunt.

Vex: Ha, after SUCKING last week. My bet's that Damage has him put to shame within two minutes.

Charles Davis: Are you kidding? When you wrestle on and off each week like Geno your bound to have some off weeks. So look for Geno to come out with an explosive power burst.

Vex rolls her eyes.

Vex; Yeah right. How is a champion supposed to have on weeks and off weeks like that and still have people think he's so great? You are one deluded little man.

Charles Davis: And we move on to a rather strange match, two tag team partners go at it. Tragic Death Killer vs. Trick Legend.

Vex fakes a yawn.

Vex: Blah, blah, blah. This is the sedative for fans who need a nap in the middle of the show.

Charles Davis: And then T.n.T tries to get a lil’ revenge against Dante in this handicap match.

Vex snickers.

Vex: Let's see... a guy who wastes time trying to moralize everything... and a couple of guys who are fat, moronic alcoholics. Wow! This should be REALLY gripping, Chucky!

Charles Davis: Are you kidding? Dante has this match won already. He could be facing more than just one tag team and still win.

Vex shrugs.

Vex: So long as he gets his head out of his ass and quits worrying about what's right and what's wrong... maybe.

Charles Davis: Rey Pierce tries to get off his loseing streak with a big win over Sean Morgan.

Vex rolls her eyes again.

Vex: Blah blah yip yip yip... that's all both of them do anyway. Rey sucks, he'll always suck.

Charles Davis: Rey is a talented wrestler and he will defiantly come out on top with his highflying moves.

Vex: Until Morgan decides to murder him with his bare hands in the middle of the ring. I win, next match!

Charles Davis: The next match is a sure treat for any wrestling fan, Meghan Sheffield takes on Johnny Hotrod.

Vex rolls her eyes.

Vex: Yeah, and if people can keep from getting sick over Meghan and her sugary sweetness, we'll be all good. Hotrod to smash her face into paste.

Charles Davis: Just because she plays by the rules doesn't mean you can count her out.

Vex: No, but it does mean that I can think she's really boring.

Charles Davis: And you're not?

Vex smirks.

Vex: Uh... no. At least I have something more interesting to say than "ooooooh the good guys are always going to win, and anyone with a personality's going to lose because Jesus doesn't like not nice people!"

Charles Davis: We move along to the main event, a tag team match up pitting Shadow and Doug Watson against Minos and Vin Halsted.

Vex grins again.

Vex: I think you're going to see a surprise or two here... Halsted's not going to like it, either, if I know Shadow well... and I do.

Charles Davis: We’ll that’s it, all six great matches and remember you can catch Domestic Disturbance live at the Yellow Rose Wednesday June 29. I’m Charles Davis and besides me is my partner Vex. Before we leave you, we have an interview done by Paul Roberts with the now, unemployed Chris Chaos.

Paul Roberts: Two weeks after Chris Chaos was released from the SWA he now joins us to talk about this shocking development. Mr. Chaos, that you for joining us.

Chris Chaos: Whatever Paul, you're just lucky I gave up my precious time to do this interview. I’m a busy man, but I figured SWA was important enough to me to conduct an interview of this nature

Paul Roberts: Now to start this off, let me ask if you enjoyed it in SWA?

Chris Chaos: Enjoyed it? Ha, the pills you take to enlarge your penis must be screwing with your brain as well. Of course I enjoyed it, yes, I'll admit I went on a bit of a losing tangent on my last stretch of SWA employment, but this is what I do, it is more than a job to me, it's a hobby. A passion, so to speak

Paul Roberts: So you enjoyed it, what was your reaction when you heard the news?

Chris Chaos: Well, I was shocked really. I mean I realized I was losing a lot and had my head quite far up my ass but was the pink slip a necessary step? Then I hear some rumors about a guy in BACW, a man who also goes by Chris Chaos, who was...well, bad mouthing me about having his name. I wanted to tell him to grow a little hair across his back and face me for the name, but then he backed out and i figured his testicles hadn’t dropped yet so I left it alone

Chris Chaos: Two days later, White Mike, A man I looked up to as a superior fed owner, appeased the cock sucker by firing me.... with all the personal issues going on in my life right now I didn't need that. But hey, shit happens, you know?

Paul Roberts: Do you think you should have been fired?

Chris Chaos: Not at all...I mean maybe put on probation or whatever, or given some vacation time to pull my cranium out of my rectal cavity, but no, I don't think the boot was necessary. I don't think that firing someone who works as hard as I do is necessary, to tell you the truth Paul.

Paul Roberts: Just a few more questions...Why do you think you were fired?

Chris Chaos: I truthfully cannot answer that at this moment in time, I am a wrestler, not a mind reader Paul. I'm Chris Chaos, not Ms. Cleo. I’m sure that the SWA staff had some wacky reason at one of their wine and cheese parties with their fairy outfits on and decided to boot me before I snapped on someone…I could be wrong, however.

Paul Roberts: You mentioned that you looked up to White Mike, how has your relationship changed. Have you talked to him at all since?

Chris Chaos: Not really. I don't have much contact with anyone from the wrestling world anymore. I am in the gym too much to care. But yes, I looked up to him because I saw that he didn't take anyone's shit, he had his own view points and stood his ground on things he believed in, which is something that I really liked about him. I try to do the same thing. Mike never gave a fuck what anyone thought of him, including me. And I respected that.: Has my opinion changed, no, I still feel that he had his own reason, as stupid as it might be, but he stuck his ground and didn't listen to anyone else, and that's something you've got to respect in a man. DTA- Don't Trust Anyone...I guess that can be the motto for today. Yeah I respect the man, but do I trust him? No. I don't trust anyone. I respect him, but he's a snake like the rest

Paul Roberts: With that in mind, I must ask if your currently doing any promotional work for any other fed.

Chris Chaos: No, I am not. I am working my ass off in the gym, as I just stated about 2 minutes ago, and have been too busy for much else. I am looking for another SWA opening, and when that comes I am going to be all over it like a cheap suit.I can promise you that.

Paul Roberts: Well Mr. Chaos thank you for being with us today, do you have any final statements?

Chris Chaos: I will be back, weather it is under this name or not, I will be back and believe me, you thought I was crazy before? You thought I was crazy in the DWF. When I get back, Hiroshima is going to look like a damn firecracker…and THAT my friends, is the truth

Chris Chaos:Thank you Paul, and have a nice day



CREDITS



Executive Producer: White Mike

Hosts: Charles Davis and Vex

Director: Sam Sloan

Camera operator: Harry Day

Lighting: Jonathan Sloback

Technical Advisor: Seth Johnson

Charles and Vex’s wardrobe provided by: Landsend

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All rights reserved.