Humor
This area is here for a few laughs at the expense of the Klingons. If you have any good jokes about Klingons that are not here email me and I will add it. All jokes are from various soucres and players.
1. Q: How many Klingons does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: TWO: One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and
take all of the credit.
2. Q: How many Klingons does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: NONE: Klingons aren't afraid of the dark.
3. Q: What do the Klingons do with the dead bulb?
A: Execute it for failure.
4. Q: What do the Klingons do with the Klingon who replaces the bulb?
A: Execute him for cowardice.
5. Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Mr. Worf: For the honor of all chickens.
6. Q: What does a Klingon frog use for camouflage?
A: A croaking device.
7. Q: How do you get a one-armed Klingon out of a tree?
A: Wave to him.
8. Q: Why can't Klingon kids play in sandboxes?
A: Cats keep trying to cover them up.
9. Q: Why did the Klingon cross the road?
A: To conquer the other side.
10. Q: Klingons are tough! How tough are they?
A: Klingons are so tough they don't put bathrooms on thier spaceships
11. Q: Klingons are tough! How tough are they?
A: They're so tough, their mothers rock them to sleep with real rocks.
12. Q: What's a winning Klingon poker hand?
A: Ace, deuce, three, four, seven--and a very, large blaster.
13. Q: How many Klingons does it take to paint a starship?
A: 500 plus a jeghpu'wI'. 500 Klingons to fight over the honor and a jeghpu'wI' to actually do the job.
14. Q: How many Klingons does it take to hold up a shuttle?
A: 20. But they have to be very, very strong.
15. Q: How do you know when a Klingon's dead?
A: You're still alive aren't you?
16. Q:Why do Klingons barbers charge five hundred credits a haircut?
A: You ever try to cut hair with a phasor in your stomach?
17. Q: What do you call a nervous Klingon barber?
A: Dead.
18.
Top Klingon Bumper Stickers
1. "One photon torpedo can ruin your whole day...think about it"
2. "Guns don't kill people...we do!"
3. "CAUTION...We have a trigger happy Klingon at tactical."
4. "If you can read this...don't you think we de-cloaked a wee bit too close?"
5. "We Brake on Tribbles."
6. "Have you Assassinated your Senior Officer today?"
Quotes for Warriors
The fool speaks, the wise man listens. -African
The lion does not turn around when a small dog barks.-African
When a king has good counselors, his reign is peaceful. -African
When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.-African
When you know who his friend is, you know who he is.-African
A Hero can die but once, A coward will die a thousand deaths-USA
A wife's advice is not worth much, but woe to the husband who refuses to take it.-Welsh
Adversity brings knowledge, and knowledge wisdom.-Welsh
Be honorable yourself if you wish to associate with honorable people.-Welsh
We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us.-????
If every fool wore a crown, we should all be kings.-Welsh
Your hand is never the worse for doing its own work.-Welsh
A running man can slit a thousand throats in one night.-Klingon
Act and you shall have dinner. Think and you shall be dinner.-Klingon
If one man praises you, a thousand will repeat the praise. -Japanese
Life is not separate from death. It only looks that way.-Blackfoot
To know and to act are one and the same.-Samurai
There's nothing worse than half-dead racht.-Klingon
Life is tough...it's tougher if you're stupid.-American
No means no, but BAAAA means anything you want.-Commodore Hunter (IC),USS Dauntless
Holy Crap thats a big Kling...I mean Somoan.-Lt Mac Falson (IC), USS Dauntless
Price of Tribbles in China are still to high.-LtComm Arianna Hansen (IC), USS Dauntless
If At first you don't succeed, you just need a bigger hammer.-Lt(jg) Botan (IC), USS Dauntless
I would like to thank all the little ships we had to destroy to get here.-R.Adm Hunter (IC), USS Dauntless
Ain't I something.-Captain Jerk (IC), CO USS Boobieprise
Is it me , or did we just get screwed?-Cmdr Shiran Kozar (IC), USS Mooondancer
Either join the one, or become one with the Void.-Lord Unicron of Primus
Conquest is made of the ashes of ones enemies.- Prince Starscream Of Cybertron
Optimism is for Command Officers, Captain. Engineers prefer pessimism, because it saves lives instead of risking them.-Chief Miles O'Brien
Sir, I was once told.'Those who can do, Those who can't Teach and those who cant teach inspect those who can.-CWO1 Kal'el "Knightmare" Luellen (IC), SB60
I Swear, that boy has got to be the poster child for birthcontrol.-Cmdr Orion Pax (IC), USS Musashi
One Million swimmers, and you were the best?!-Cmdr Orion Pax (IC), USS Zodiac
We scored more than newlyweds on a oyster bender.-CWO1 Kal'el Luellen(IC), SB60
Why do I feel like I just dropped the soap.?-CWO1 Kal'el Luellen (IC), SB60
God, has spoken to me today. He said I can still get out of this and live a normal life. However he told me to tell you 'Your F&*@ed'.-Scotsman to William Wallace in Braveheart
We are compelled ineluctably down pre-ordained paths. Freewill is and illusion.-Kain of Nosgoth
In a single day and night of misfortune, the island of Atlantis disappeared into the depths of the Sea-Plato 360B.C.
War is a continuation of politics, by other means.-Von Klause
We will not tire. We will not falter. We will not Fail.-Pres. George W. Bush, September 20th, 2001
Lead, Follow, or get the Hell outta my way.-CMSgt M.A. Jones
People are opposed to the wearing of fur rather than leather because it's safer to pick on rich old women instead of biker gangs.-Dan Proulx
A ship is always referred to as 'she' because it costs so much to keep one in powder and paint.-Chester Nimitz
Your a Klingon, Mr. Worf. Don't tell me you'd object to a little genocide in the name of self-defense.-Elim Garak
The beatings will continue, until morale improves.-Jack Rackam, Flibustier
(That Means Pirate.....Geez go read a fricking book...hmmm...what this thing is still on?...Well turn it off!)
Those who do many calculations win, those who do not lose. I guess you are the idiot who forgot your calculator huh? .-Captian Wayne, USS Moondancer
These things we do that others may live-USAF Para-rescue Motto
I know it's only Rock and Roll, but I like it.-Mick Jagger
The truest test of courage is the final one.-Sensei Miyamoto Musashi
Chance favors those who court her.-Charles Nichole
Life is either a great adventure or nothing.-Helen Keller
I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.-J. Robert Oppenhimer
One minute of Patience, ten years of peace.-Socrates
The quiet that envelops space makes the beauty even more powerful,
and I only hope that the quiet can one day spread to my country.-Col. Ilan Ramon
The will to do the Soul to dare.-Sir Walter Scott
The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible.-Arthur C. Clarke
A beacon to light the darkness.-Capt. Blackcat, USS Tsunami
The only way for Evil to triumph, is if good men do nothing.-Edward Burke