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| August 19, 2003
Letting kids be kids
Ever worry that your kids are doing too much? The experts are worried; perhaps parents should be too: "In the process of trying to prepare our children for a rapidly evolving and fiercely competitive world, we too often professionalize and "adultify" our children by taking the fun out of childhood," write Ian Toffler and Theresa Foy DiGeronimo, co-authors of Keeping Your Kids Out Front Without Kicking Them From Behind.
The irony is that while we push them to succeed, they end up failing. Why? Stressed-out kids block their learning skills with anxiety-related memory lapses and an exaggerated fear of failure. Making them do more is a guarantee they'll be doing less.
| Over-programming also takes away kids' control over their own lives and becomes a source of resentment and reaction. Giving children an active voice in some of this programming gives them some practical control over their lives and is an important skill in real-world decision-making.
So, before the frenzy of after-school program sign-up begins, think about how much your kids to do, what you'd like them to do, and what realistically they can manage alongside their school work and other obligations.
Dr. David Elkin, professor of child study at Tufts University and author of The Hurried Child, says moderation should be the watchword for kids' activities: no more than one or two activities for 3- to 5-year olds, and two to three for kids age 6 through 8. Three to four activities per semester should keep kids busy until age 12 or so, though of course a more demanding activity-competitive ice skating, say, or intensive music lessons-might count as two activities. Additionally, Elkind cautions parents against allowing kids to participate in "serious" competition before second grade, and to ensure that even older kids don't place too much emphasis on competition or winning.
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Internet Safety Tips
 Surfing the Internet can be a rewarding and educational experience for children, but there are dangers that parents should be aware of. Try our interactive tutorial and learn the keys to ensuring that your children are Web aware. |
| Parenting Tip | When disciplining your child, act quickly and decisively. Hesitate and you give your child time to whine or bargain, and you'll be more likely to cave in to his demands.
Originally published in FamilyFun magazine |
Internet Safety Tips
Surfing the Internet can be a rewarding and educational experience for children, but there are dangers that parents should be aware of. Try our interactive tutorial and learn the keys to ensuring that your children are Web aware. |
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