Dreams

The enemy’s fire was intense. Bullets were flying everywhere; the smell of cordite was thick in the air and with the heat and humidity of the jungle, one fought to take the next breath. Gun ships were hovering overhead, their door-gunners trying to pinpoint the enemy’s positions. Yellow smoke from a smoke grenade was rising; its acrid smell was overwhelming. Voices screaming, people yelling, grenades were exploding left and right. The patrol was under heavy fire. M-60 machine guns chattered closed by. Green and red tracers were going off overhead with the pounding of heavy mortars lighting up the immediate countryside.

She was running, trying to keep up with the patrol; couldn’t let herself be separated! Too dangerous!! The adrenaline rushed through her blood, making her extra aware of her surroundings. Flashes from the mortars were getting closer, the yellow smoke was billowing with the breeze.

“Keep your head down,” he said.

She turned her head to see who had spoken and found herself looking into deep blue eyes.

“I’m trying,” she started to say but a grenade exploded only a few meters away, as she felt the enormous explosion, she was pushed to the ground. She could feel the weight of his body on top of hers. She was trying to catch her breath. The smell of the earth was strong on her face, the ground felt mushy and wet underneath her. She tried to move but found herself pinned to the ground. His body was covering hers; she could feel his breath on her cheek.

“Are you hurt?” he asked.

He rolled off her and lay beside her. Her heart was skipping beats, she could feel the sweat on her back, her hands were shaking, she wasn’t sure if her legs could support her. She got on her knees and checked if everything was working.

Nothing broken, she thought. “No,” she answered, her voice quivering.

She could see him now; dark hair, strong jaw, strong tanned arms and those blue eyes. Not gorgeous, but definitely a man with character.

The battle was moving closer. Overhead, the helicopters were closing in. The mortars were getting louder. She could hear a buzzing sound and tried to give it a swat but it would not go away....

“Merde,” she said, it was the alarm clock!!!! She tried to ignore it but after a couple of minutes, she stretched her arm and turned the music on.

“Well, I guess I should,” talking to herself. “C’mon lazy bones, time to get moving.” But the pillow kept calling her. She felt warm and safe under the covers. Outside the winter wind was blowing. She got up, crossed the room and looked outside. “Here we go again, another snowstorm. I hope my flight won’t get delayed, or even cancelled.”

She was looking at the snow falling but did not see it; her mind was wandering back to the dream. It felt so real, she thought she could still hear the firefight in her head; she thought she could still smell the cordite. And his eyes, she could not forget his eyes. She shook her head. “I better get moving, I need to leave earlier,” thinking aloud.

After her shower, she was looking at her bags, double-checking the contents, ticking a mental list. Extra batteries, check; lots of films, check; making sure her cameras were snug in their cases; well-worn walking boots; warm jacket; t-shirts and shorts.

“Better bring a couple of sweaters and warms pants, and if I need anything else I could always go shopping,” she thought, “it might be cold in D.C.”

Her last two assignments had been very profitable, she had been able to pay off her mortgage, finally, and there was still money in the bank. It paid to sometimes accept assignments with big publications, she thought ruefully, smiling to herself. Newsweek and National Geographic had been very generous. She liked the independence of freelancing, but from time to time it was nice to be working with a team of professionals. Especially when she had no special projects on the go.

After a few minutes she closed her bags and walked into her “office”, an extra bedroom turned into a home office / workroom. She turned her computer on, checked her emails, sent a message to her friend Caron, letting her know about her absence. After a few minutes, she turned the computer off, and went to the kitchen, got something to eat, watered her plants, and brought her bags from the bedroom to the front door. Finally she called a cab and went to the airport. She could not see the point of driving herself, with the snowstorm, traffic would be crawling all over town.

After checking her luggage, she went through Customs and security check. After locating her departing gate, she went in the smoking lounge, grabbed a coffee, sat down and lit a cigarette.

After a while, she heard they were calling her flight, she grabbed her carry-on bag and went to the gate. She gave her ticket to the agent and walked to the plane. She found her seat in “coach”. No first class this time. The U.S. Army did not feel that her flight to D.C. from Ottawa warranted the better seat. The plane left the gate a few minutes later. The flight was a short one, not even two hours. Not long enough to have a nap, but long enough for her to review her notes for this new assignment.

When she had received the call from a Captain Rogers from the Pentagon back in October, she was surprised they knew who she was. But the Captain had explained he had seen some of the photographs she had taken for Newsweek and asked her if she would be interested in working in tandem with a team of well-known experts. She had asked what was the premise for the assignment. That was when she got really surprised when she heard what he had to say.

“I would have thought that after what happened on 9/11, you guys would be too busy chasing the people responsible to still take the time to put together a team with that level of expertise,” she had said at the time.

He had replied that the team had been assembled prior to the events of September, and that he would be pleased if she would agree to participate in the assignment. She told him she would think about it and that she would call him the following day. As she was putting the phone down, she could feel the excitement rising inside. Vietnam..... She would be going to Vietnam. She had never been there but had always wanted to go.

Hué, Vung Tau, Saigon.... the jungle, the cities and the white beaches. Maybe she could stay longer after the assignment was completed, she could request for a longer visa and her friend Marie was looking after her plants while she would be away. She could even make arrangements with the post-office to have her mail re-directed to the Canadian Embassy in Saigon. It would only be a matter of finding a public library with computers and advise Marie via email of her prolonged séjour.

She called the Captain back the following morning and accepted the assignment. He asked her email address so he could send the information she would need and forms to be filled out. He also told her to contact the Vietnamese Embassy as soon as possible in order to get the paperwork started. He also asked her to keep all the receipts for any expenses occurred on the trip, as she would be reimbursed after the assignment was completed. She told him about her intentions of staying after the completion of her work. He had told her that he could not foresee any problems, once her contract was completed, she could go anywhere she wanted.

Being brought back to reality from her thoughts, the attendant was standing beside her and asked if she wanted something to drink. Cassie asked if she had diet Seven-Up. The attendant replied that she did.

She went back to her notes, but she found she could not concentrate. Her mind kept wandering back to the dream. Cassie knew it was just a dream, but it felt as if she had really been there. Could it have been something she remembered from a movie or from a TV show that she had seen??? She shook her head; nah not possible.

The plane was on final approach to Washington, D.C.; she looked out the small window and saw the Washington Monument, it felt like a homecoming. She had always loved D.C., even more so now. She had always felt at peace here, like a second home. As the plane turned, she was able to see the Pentagon, the reconstruction from September 11 was still going on. She had seen pictures on TV but it was not the same as seeing it for real. Cassie felt sadness swelling in her chest, all those people, dead at the hands of fanatics...

The plane touched down. She unbuckled her seatbelt and retrieved her carry-on bag. As she left the plane, she felt it was cold outside, she put her coat on as she walked and went toward the baggage carousel, to wait for her luggage to appear. After a few minutes her baggage arrived, she pulled them off the carousel and walked toward the main doors to get a cab. As she got outside, D.C. seemed to be in the midst of a bitter cold front.

Oh great, she thought. “If I stay more than a few days, I’m gonna have to go shopping!!! Goody, goody!!!” she said to herself. She liked the stores in D.C. and those in Virginia, especially the small shops in Falls Church. Actually, she thought, maybe I can find a few minutes to go visit my favourite Antiques shop in Falls Church.

She found a cab and asked to be driven to the Watergate Hotel in the Watergate Plaza. She paid the driver and walked in. As she walked toward the Front Desk, she remembered that she was quite a distance from the Pentagon, which meant she could have to take a cab for her comings and goings. Her appointment at the Pentagon was not until the following morning.

Cassie was in her room, unpacking her belongings. When she was finished, she decided to go for a walk. She put her coat and gloves on and went out. She walked toward Constitution Avenue. As she approached the “Mall”, her pace was increasing. After what seemed a long time, she approached the Lincoln Memorial as it came into her view. She turned onto the pathway toward the Veterans Memorial. She could hear the hushed voices coming from the Vietnam Veterans Memorial. She turned toward the “Three men” statue; she never tired looking at it, but this time she took her time to really look at all the details; at the feet of the three soldiers statue, people had left personal mementos; here a Purple Heart, there a letter from a mother to her lost son, a bunch of flowers, an American flag. The winter sun was reflecting on the statues, the trees surrounding it were bare of leaves. She took her camera out. She liked what she was seeing, the golden hues on the bronze men, the shadows on the three faces, she took a few close-ups and put the camera back in its bag, making sure to turn it off.

She then walked toward one of the boxes containing the Directory of names. She was not sure what she was looking for, but after turning a few pages, she left the box and walked toward the “Wall”. There were a few people there despite of the cold. She walked, looking at names, caressing the black granite Wall with her fingertips, stopping a few seconds to read a name. All those names, 58,000 of them, she thought, each a young life snuffed away by man’s madness.

She walked toward the other end of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial and started walking toward the Washington Monument, the tall obelisk looking so bright with the winter sun reflecting on its surface. She could see the dome of the Capitol in the distance. As she walked, she passed the different Smithsonian Museums.

“Maybe I could go to the Library of Congress and check it out.”

She was not sure what was pushing her to go into the large Library, but she was not looking for answers yet. She passed a few government workers, ID badges hanging around their necks.

Not a whole lot of tourists at this time of the year, she thought.

As she entered the Library, she was impressed with the size of the place, she never been inside before. After a couple of hours of perusing the official reports, she still could not shake the feeling that she was looking for something, but still could not say what it was. Cassie was becoming frustrated with herself.

She returned to the hotel as the sun was setting. She changed and went downstairs and hailed a cab. She gave the address in Georgetown to the driver. As she arrived, she could tell the restaurant was not too busy. As she entered, the hostess was able to give her a table by the large window. She looked at the menu,

“Will there be someone joining you?” the waiter asked.

“No,” she replied.

“Something to drink?”

“Yes, please, I’ll have a Drambuie on ice.”

“I’ll be right back with your drink,” he said.

“Thank you.”

After deciding that a nice, juicy T-Bone with all the trimmings sounded good, Cassie put the menu down and looked around the room. A family of four were seated a few tables away, a young couple talking low, were holding hands.

After she finished her meal, she took a stroll down the streets of Georgetown.

Thank goodness I don’t eat like this everyday, she thought, but once in a while it is nice to treat myself to a nice meal, because once in Nam, juicy T-Bones will be a rare sight.

As she walked, her mind was wandering back to her friends; Marie in Ottawa, Caron in L.A., Cathy in Kingston, Elaine in Charlottetown, Terry in Phoenix and a few others all over Canuckland and the States. Along her voyages, she had met some very interesting people; she always tried to stay in touch with them, but being away so much, it was not always easy, same for close relationships with men. Most of the single men she had met in the last couple years resented the fact she traveled so much, but she could not conceive of quitting her job for any man, it was in her bones, the wanderlust was too powerful.

As she made her way through the streets, her mood was pensive, she could not see herself settling down yet, there was still too much to see, too many pictures waiting to be taken.

“Oh well,” she murmured, why worry about something she was not willing to change.

She took a taxi back to the hotel. She watched TV for a while and then fell asleep.

The sand was warm on her back, the sun was high in the sky, she could hear the sound of the surf on the beach. Music was playing in the background. Cassie opened her eyes and saw that he was there lying beside her, she turned and looked at him. He opened his eyes and smiled.

“Just like paradise,” he said.

Cassie was looking at his face, trying to remember every line, the blue of his eyes, his lips, his strong jaw, the dark hair. “Yes, it does.”

He leaned over and started to kiss her. Her body started to tingle; she could feel his heart beating against her chest. After a few minutes, she pulled away. “Oh my, am I ever in trouble,” Cassie said, catching her breath.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, it has been a long time since I have been kissed this way.”

“So I guess this is a good thing,” he said.

“Let me just say that you are a very good kisser. But just to make sure let’s try it again!!!” she shot back.

“Are you trying to take advantage of me?”

“But of course!! Why should I deprive myself of that pleasure?” Cassie replied.

He looked at her with surprise in his eyes, as he leaned over her he said with a smile on his face, “You are going to pay for this, you know!!”

“I sure hope so,” she whispered.

He started to kiss her again. Cassie put her arms around his neck, she could feel the strong muscles tensed as her hands caressed his back, his breath was getting faster. After a few minutes he stopped. “I think we should stop before we give a live show, we are on a public beach after all.”

“What a shame,” Cassie said with a smile. “I was starting to enjoy myself thoroughly.”

“You minx,” he replied laughing, as he started to kiss her again.

The phone was ringing. “Oh non, pas encore une fois,” she said. She answered the phone, it was the Front-Desk for her wake-up call. Cassie closed her eyes and tried to recapture her dream, but as much as she wanted, sleep would not come again.

“This is disgusting,” she said as she pulled the blankets away and got up. “The damn phone had to ring just when it was getting interesting. I can’t remember the last time I had such vivid dreams like that,” she said to herself.

As she was getting ready for her meeting, Cassie was mulling over her recent dreams, she tried to remember every details: the smells, the sensations, the feelings....

“They were only dreams,” she said. “Snap out of it, girl.”

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