So life is a beach, well it is in Miami South Beach.  South Beach is basically a parade of gorgeousness, no matter how long you spent at the gym and tan build up prior to your vacation you will always wish you had that extra couple of months to work at it.

South Beach is a display of beautiful bodies, all teeth and big tits, g strings and designer gear; where else in America would you see men openly showing affection towards one another, lesbians quite happily strolling holding hands, drag queens on roller skates and where corforetured dogs are a necessary accessory, and what's more no body cares.

If America is the land of the free then South Beach comes with a life time guarantee of campness, entertainment, attitude and a place so laid back you could almost be accused of being comatose. South Beach isn't exactly Ibiza, Corfu or Bodrum, but it sure is a party where you want to be on the guest list.
 
 
 
 
 

As its name implies an array of trendy restaurants, bars and art deco hotels that align the sea front.  Ocean Drive is also a place to be seen and to people watch, to catch the eye of a Ricky Martin or Jennifer Lopez look a like and imagine salsaing at one of the many nightclubs later that evening; or being discovered by a big time film director wanting you for his next billion dollar movie, we have our dreams but its more likely to be a tacky porno movie  or an extra in an S Club 7 (God bless 'em) pop video

In South Beach eating is an event, a pass time, a hobby, what ever the time of day or night sleek and chic restaurants are buzzing  offering almost every type of cuisine imaginable.  As you would expect Ocean Drive restaurants can be expensive,  what you are paying for is actually being part of the South Beach scene, chairs and tables crowd the sidewalk and you are almost sitting on the lap of the person in the next restaurant but hey so what, what better way to meet new friends..

However if you want to be part of the Ocean Drive scene working to a budget, there is the Johnny Rockets diner  try their superb chilly fries and The Palace at 1200 Ocean Drive.  Time Out states that if the Palace served up saw dust the restaurant would still be packed and yes we  agree with that observation.  Over looking the beach, the Palace offers excellent food at excellent prices with a friendly service which is a bit of rarity in Miami.
 
 

However one must not forget the News Cafe, which is open 24 seven to coin a phrase, and serves breakfast around the clock.  Here the food is excellent, great value and the great thing about News Cafe is that the menu offers a good variety.  One thing if you visit the News Cafe, try the News fries and every one of the deserts on the menu.  It his here however that Gianni Versace had his last meal before walking home and being murdered outside is Ocean Drive mansion.
 

Now we come to the bit the English are more interested in, where to drink.  Ocean drive offers a foray of bars offering beer and cocktails of every concoction.  One bar which you must visit is Wet Willies where they specialize in frozen slushy cocktails in pretty colours from huge vats.  I must admit that after a few sips the cocktails begin to taste like something you would clean you drains with, but they are cheap, cheerful and lethal, and a great way to start the night.
 

The Clevelander bar buzz's at weekends, its an outside bar owned by the hotel of the same name.  The only way I could describe the Clevelander is that it would not look out of place in an 18-30's holiday brochure.  This is the place to start before venturing in to the wonderful South Beach club scene which is mainly situated at Washington Avenue just two blocks away.

If you like your cocktails in our opinion the best place is The Palace,  their happy hour (s)  is one of the best, great for ending a day on the beach is to have a pitcher of ice cold beer.
 
 

The art deco hotels are works of art in themselves, a collection of over 800 buildings within the Miami district from the 1920's in which you can almost imagine them hosting Great Gatsby like parties with flappers' Charlestoning on top of the piano with their beaus sipping champagne from their slippers.

Below are just a few of the many hotels, most of which line the wonderful Ocean Drive scene

       Tides           Park Central           Colony             Beacon             Waldorf                 Breakwater                   Clevelander          Leslie

     Marlin                         Webster                     Astor           White Haven         Cavalier                Mc Alpine                        Crescent
 
 

If you tire of the crowds on Ocean Drive then Lincoln Road is the place to come.  Its  described as a mall, but is an exciting pedestrianized sidewalk of cafes, restaurants, clubs, boutiques, galleries and shops.

Like most of South Beach the restaurants are buzzing, but unlike Ocean Drive the prices are more reasonable with more of a choice offering Cuban, Italian, Chinese, Italian, sushi, Italian, Mexican and yes Italian.  In our opinion the atmosphere is less pretentious than Ocean Drive and the food a lot better.

The Van Dyke Cafe which is the sister to News Cafe offering the same menu is the best place to eat on Lincoln Road, and many more must think the same so be prepared to wait, it has the added advantage of being host to many great jazz nights.  One thing you must try at Van Dyke is their garlic chicken pasta, fantastic.

Bayside - down town miami

Every major city has its touristy market place, In San Francisco its Pier39, in Chicago its the Navel Pier, in Miami Bayside is the place to come to for your souvenir shops, food courts, boutiques, entertainment and the obligatory daiquiri.  It is also here at the Bayside marina that you come for  sightseeing cruises around the bay and to ogle at the homes of the rich and famous, such as Gloria Estefan, Madonna even Al Capone in his hey day.

If you are on a budget and find the restaurants a little expensive then walk around the food courts you will get so many of the owners offering freebies to try to entice you in.

People back in the UK are surprised that we would want to visit Miami because of its violent reputation mainly stirred up by TV programme such as Miami Vice.  However South Beach is one of the safest places we have visited you are more likely to be accosted by a drag queen giving out flyers to one of the many clubs.  Don't be put off by what you see on TV, South Beach is lively, its camp, its a melting pot of attitude, a twenty four hour a day beauty pageant and fashion show making Veronica Chase look more like Archie Bunker.  As we said don't expect Ibiza, this is  more civilized.
 

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