David and I met in December 1995, when we were 33 and 34 years old.
We did not meet your old fashioned way, but rather through the work of the Lord.
God knew that we each needed someone and through a miracle we met.
We were married one very snowy day in December 1996.
Being older when we married we never really knew if the Lord was going to bless us with children, but knowing that God is faithful we were blessed with a honeymoon baby. Zachariah David was born on his Opa's 62nd birthday - 9 months after our wedding. He was such an awesome blessing to us and we were so thankful to our Father in heaven for him. Trusting that the Lord would once again bless us, we decided to try for another child. Well, God showed us His sense of humor and blessed us doubly. Rebekah Joy and Naomi Marie came into the world June 23rd 1999. Double the trouble, but double the blessings as well. We now had three children. Our plan in life was to have 4 children before I turned 40. As the Calendar months passed we knew we needed to work at the child thing again.
June 2000 we found out we were expecting number 4. Wow, the Lord was good. We would have our four children, and before I turned 40. The pregnancy was normal. We had an ultrasound at 7 weeks to rule out twins, and when we saw that one beating heart, we were thrilled. At 12 weeks I began spotting, after having an ultrasound, we found that there was no more babe. our child had dissolved - it was home with the Lord. Since Zachariah so boldly wanted a brother, his conclusion was that God saw our baby was a girl and decided that he needed her in heaven with Him. Hannah Sarah, miscarried at 12 weeks, still lives in our hearts.
Knowing that we had always talked about having 4 children, we tried again. I was unsure about it all as I did not want to go through all the emotional stuff that I went through with losing Hannah. We became pregnant again in November 2000. I was finding it difficult to believe that this was a real pregnancy. I did not want to take ownership of it until I actually saw the baby active, in an ultrasound. The crucial 12 week point passed. So far so good. My belly was growing and we had already heard the heartbeat a couple of times. It still did not feel real. Weeks 14, 15,16 and 17 passed. I wanted an amniosentesis test to make sure all was well with our baby. Just to give me that peace of mind. Along with the amino there was a quick ultrasound done, we even got pictures of our babe. Maybe it was real. Maybe he was there to stay.
I will never forget Tuesday April 3rd. My best friend Ingred was over in the morning with her kids for coffee. We get together at least once a week for "mommy sanity" sake. I was telling her that I was having a few cramps but attributed that to lifting my now 21 month old twins into and out of their cribs. In the afternoon my three kids were down for their naps and feeling very tired myself I rested on the couch. I was chilled and could not warm up. All afternoon I slept off and on as the kids watched tv I tried to get a hold of David to get him to come home from work but no one answered the phone at his job. I made an appointment for my doctor and finally got to go when David got home, after 5 p.m. The doctor took my temperature and told me that I just had the flu and needed to take Tylenol and go to bed. I asked about the cramps but he felt that since there was no spotting I should not worry. After my insistence he listened for a heartbeat, we heard one.
I came home to tell David what the doctor said. I quickly made dinner for the children and David and was going to lie down on the couch. I felt a gush. I went to the bathroom, my underpants were wet. Now I was scared. I called my midwife , she wanted me to come in so that she could test the fluid that came out. Our awesome neighbor Colleen came over to watch the kids as David took me in. It seemed every move I made there was more and more trickling out. At the midwives office there was a large gush, it was amniotic fluid. My water had broken. The midwife called ahead to the hospital, that was where we were to head. We stopped at home to pick up an overnight bag and let Colleen know what was going on. She was willing to stay however long she was needed.
At the hospital it seemed like we had to wait forever for a doctor to come. There were emergency C-sections that were holding up the doctor on call. Finally she came and did an ultrasound. There was no fluid left in the sac, however the baby's heart was still beating. She felt that with bed rest the sac may repair itself and all would be well. We were just at 19.5 weeks so this baby had to stay put for at least another 5-6 weeks before it had a chance. Blood work was done and I was taken to a private room on the maternity ward. David and I had to see what sort of arrangements we could make with his work and with sitters to look after the children. I worried who would take care of our three but again the Lord was at work there. School was giving David the time off and Ingred was going to be at our place first thing in the morning to watch our kids. David went home after all was arranged and relieved Colleen
The night was long. I could hear babies crying all around me. I cried for my baby wondering if it was alright. I prayed asking God to do what was best for it. Only He would know. The doctor said that in the morning they would do a more conclusive ultrasound. The morning did not come fast enough for me. In the morning the nurse came to take me for the ultrasound. As I sat and waited in the hall she came back and told me that it was cancelled. The nurse did not know the reason for the ultrasound being cancelled. David showed up around 9:00 p.m. and we "still" had no explanation as to why the ultrasound was cancelled. Most all of the day we sat waiting for someone to please come tell us what was going on. My midwife showed up, she could see how stressed we were, she finally got people moving.
"Finally," at about 3 p.m. a doctor came in, he explained that the blood work was
showing a bad bacterial infection in the placenta. I was already 2cm dilated and it was felt that it was best for me to deliver the baby. I was moved to labour and delivery and given medication to assist in the further dilation of my cervix. The Lord knew how difficult this was going to be on me and I truly believe that He cleared that L&D of all babies being born. For the 7 hours I was there I did not have to listen to other women in labour or other babies being born.
David and I were mostly left alone by the staff. We had allot of time to talk about what was going on. We were able to call family and friends and let them know what was going on and have them pray for us. Each and every person was so supportive. We could feel the Peace of the Lord surrounding us. By the time 10:00 p.m. came my labour was getting intense. For my other three children I never experienced hard labour, they all came quick and easy.
Our tiny son came into the world at 11:15 p.m. Dr. J Ubhi, Midwife Catherine Holland and our awesome nurse, Sarah were all present. David declared his name to be Josiah James Alexander. Dr. Ubhi chuckled saying that his name was larger than he was. The cord was cut and he was handed to us. He was so very tiny but you could see that little heart beating in his chest. We were left alone with our son, to enjoy every moment with him while he was still alive. We marveled at his perfection. Nothing was missing, he had ten fingers and ten toes, perfect ears and a Stuive nose. I spoke to him telling him as much as I could about his big brother Zachariah and his twin sisters, Rebekah and Naomi. His little head turned toward my voice as he listened to me. I put my finger out and his whole little hand grasped it. David took him, he fit so perfectly in Daddy's big warm hand. Close to midnight a Pastor from our church denomination came . He had been called by the nurse.
We wanted Josiah baptized before he passed on. Pastor Helder read Psalm 23. He spoke a few words and then baptized our little son. We together, marveled at God's perfection. Together we sang "Jesus loves the little Children." One hour after Josiah came into the world he left the world. David lifted his tiny body to heaven and released him to the Lord. Pastor Helder was honored to baptize our little babe.
The nurse gave us a bit more time before coming in. She wanted to weigh our babe and measure him. He weighed 6 1/4 ounces and was 8.5 inches long. She also wanted to know if we wanted some photo's taken. Both she and the midwife took over a dozen pictures, some of which you can see in the photo album. We spent another hour with our babe before Sarah helped me wrap him in a blanket, she carried him off. Our son was in a better place ~ in heaven ~ with his sister Hannah Sarah and with our heavenly Father.
Our story does not totally end there. We have found that we belong to a very loving community. With David being a teacher in a Christian School, we had also asked them for their prayers. The school gave David the following week off so we could be together as a family. A group of mom's from the school came and provided us with meals for ten days, it was awesome. The cards and caring notes we got from both people in the school and in church really showed us that we are loved and cared about. I wanted to make a special album for the pictures of Josiah, and planned with a friend to make a Creative Memories Sentiment album. Someone got wind of this plan and paid for it all. WOW!!! God sure is good! This album will one day go to Zachariah as he is the one that will remember Josiah. The girls are still too young to remember that they had a baby brother but we will be sure to tell them.
Zachariah was heartbroken to hear about his baby brothers passing. Often he would just start crying and wonder how God could take his baby away. I reminded him that now he had his own special Angel in heaven to watch over him. Now nightly, he prays that God will send both his baby Josiah and his baby Hannah angels into his room to watch over him throughout the night. He feels so much safer and has been sleeping much better.
The Lord has blessed us with three beautiful living children and that is where we will stop. Our two Angels are with their Opa's and Oma's in heaven and one day we will all be reunited. For now though, they will always remain in our hearts.
