From The Brain Of Tiny Sunday 23 September 2001 Past few days I've felt a little weird, September weekend always does this to me! Friday my friend Iain and I took his little brother, Callum and his friends Lisa and Nicola to a holiday park in Ayr called Haven... put it this way if any of you are planning to come to Scotland do not go here! This place is completely boring. The only thing that makes it worthwhile is the Go-Karts and they bruised my back to fuck! Our day started at 8am when we ignored the alarm and went back to sleep (I'd stayed at Iain's the night before as he stays nearer the bus stop we had to use). At 8:30 we decided to get up, seeing as we had 15 minutes until we had to get the bus we decided we really couldn't lie in any more! So up we got and had to chase Iain's little brother out the room at least five times! Problem with Callum is that he is incredibly annoying!! He comes in and out the room bothering you! Anyway we eventually got rid of him when his mum told him he had to walk the dog. Iain and I were ready in a jiffy and we were all out the door by 9am... ok so we were a tiny bit late but it's ok because the busses are constantly coming! To get to Motherwell from Wishaw is not a problem as the busses come every five minutes even at that time in the morning. As we were sitting on the bus Callum's friends asked me if I'd go and get them drink when we got to Motherwell, I was a little wary but figured whats the harm? So I said yeah that it wasn't a problem. I then asked them what they were after... they went into their bag and produced a list!! A LIST! These girls were about 15 or something! A fucking list! I nearly had a heart attack! They handed me the list and I had a little looky and quickly informed them there was no way I was getting them all of it, that infact they would be lucky if I even got them half of it! The list looked a little something like this; 2 bottles of Blueberry Red Square 2 Bottles of Merrydown (cheap cider for those who don't know) 1/4 Bottle of Vodka :O 1 Bottle of Cranberry Red Square 4 Sidekicks (for those that haven't heard of these Sidekicks are little shots that come in different flavours and you can buy them in packs of 4) I told them I would get them a bottle of Red Square each, they asked if they could just have the vodka instead. My reply to this was that they definatly could not! As there was no way I was carrying them home. I eventualy managed a compromise with them, I'd get them the Sidekicks and  Red Square if they'd 'Shut the fuck up'. When we got to Motherwell it turned out we didn't have enough time to go to Haddows for alcohol. We dived into McDonalds then tanned it to the station. All the way from Motherwell to Glasgow the pair of them bitched and moaned 'We want drink' 'When can we get the drink?'... AAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Shut uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuppppppppppppp!!!!!!! *ahem* :| In Glasgow it didn't let up. Again we had the timing so perfect that we didn't have the time to get the alcohol... 1 hour in the train from Glasgow to Ayr with that pair!! Do you have ANY idea what thats like!? I'll tell you it's a fucking nightmare! I didn't say anything though, just sat quietly. You see I'm not actually one to complain except in this online diary thingy, I mean thats what it's for! When we got off the train at Ayr there was a bus waiting to take us straight to Haven. There was no smoking on this bus... they moaned about this. When we eventually got to Ayr, what felt like three days later, Iain and I decided to look round see what there was to do then go have some lunch... were we allowed? NO! We bloody weren't! 'CAn we go to the shop and buy drink?' 'NO FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!' <------thats what I really wanted to say, what I actually said was 'Iain and I are going to look round first' 'Can you buy us the drink THEN go look round?'. All in all I hadn't had a very good morning. We went for a wander then had llunch and then decided to go play mini-golf and go on the GO-Karts... 'Can we get the drink then go to the golf?' Seriously I wanted to cry! Eventually I gave in and bought them the drink telling them that they weren't to bring it into the golf place and that they had to be back with us for the golf opening up again (the woman was on her lunch break, this gave them ten minutes to go and get a drink before playing). Were they back? No they weren't as it happens! Iain and I had played the entire course by the time they returned. Then they decided to go on the bouncy castle. Iain and I eventually joined them, it was actually fun! When we got off Callum was sick everywhere! It was disgusting! We went on the Go-Karts after this once Callum felt a bit better. They were really good fun. Iain took over me and kicked me arse but I discovered what it was I had initially been doing wrong. The trick, it would seem, would be to NOT have your foot on the brake pedal aswell... I don't drive ok?! We wandered round the amusements for a little while. Eventualy it was dinner time so we went looking for somewhere to eat... everywhere was shut!!! We had to settle for ths little burger place where everything is over priced and tastes like shit. The kids went to the other shop and used the pot  noodle machine. Now I've never used one of these machines before does it take 30 minutes for the machine to make the Pot Noodle? Cos thats how long those little fuckers were away for! Callum went to look for them and we lost him aswell :| It's ok though, they eventually turned up still hungry and tried to get some chips off Iain and I but they were finsihed hahahahahahahahahaha if they came in sooner i'd have gladly given them my fries! They were really fucking horrible! Continued