Rather Be Fishin'
By Ang D. and Alicia

A/N: This is from the ongoing LiveJournal RP OF DOOM. Alicia and I had been planning a father-son outing for Harry and Norman for a while, and decided it had to happen. ... If it's a little silly ... don't mind us. Just thought you might want a break from the usual Osborn Angst that is the house specialty around here. And Moony, I put the dash in the ONE mention of Spider-man JUST for you.

Big Important Note!! Knight in QS = Harry. NOsbornII = Norman. .... Okay, on to the transcript with you.

With a boat for two, just me and you
You can be my teacher, I can teach you too
Gonna try a few things that I've never done
Maybe talk to the fishies, maybe have some fun
~ Oingo Boingo, "Water"

NOsbornII: *knock, knock*

Knight in QS: ::runs downstairs and opens the door::

NOsbornII: *holds up two fishing poles in one hand and a cooler in the other* Ready? *catches sight of Harry's vest* .... What is that...?

Knight in QS: ::grins:: All set. But I've gotta grab something first. ::grins a bit wider and wanders into the apartment to return with one of those stupid fishing hats:: Heh... here dad. I figured if we were going to make idiots of ourselves, we could at least look the part.

NOsbornII: *laughs* ... Thank you. *puts it on with a moderate amount of pomp and circumstance*

Knight in QS: ::smiles:: Ok. Let's go. ::pulls his keys out of his pocket, closes the door behind him, and locks the door::

NOsbornII: *tosses him the keys to the Rolls* You know the way to the lake, right?

Knight in QS: ::grins at the thought of driving:: The one we used to go to when I was little?

NOsbornII: *nods*

Knight in QS: Then, yes, I do. ::smiles brightly and wanders down to the rolls::

NOsbornII: *sets the poles and cooler in the back seat with the tackle box and the... ugh, worms.*

Knight in QS: ::hops in the car, puts on his seatbelt, and starts the Rolls up:: Gonna sit back there with the worms dad? ::winks::

NOsbornII: No. *gets in the passenger seat and puts a CD in the stereo ... "Ain't This The Life" starts playing* You know worms disturb me.

Knight in QS: ::his smile falters a bit:: I was kidding. ::pulls the car out and starts driving:: ...You know... you got me hooked on them... Oingo Boingo, I mean. ::wonders if the 'hooked' comment counts as a bad pun since he didn't mean it::

NOsbornII: *chuckles, catching the pun* Did I? Blame Penelope, she got me addicted quite against my will, at first.

Knight in QS: ::grins:: Really? That's not surprising. Pen has this weird habit of making people do what they don't want to against their will... ::shrugs:: Speaking of Penelope... I haven't seen her in awhile...

NOsbornII: She's been busy, running some errands for me, mostly. Other than that, I think she's been plotting. Something. .... I don't like the thought of her plotting. Do you?

Knight in QS: Not really... she's... she seems like she can be really sneaky if she wants to... ::frowns faintly::

NOsbornII: Definately. Little thief stole half my pumpkin bombs. And the powdered toxins. ... grr. Go AWAY, this is MY trip. I'll have to keep an eye on her.

Knight in QS: ::nods:: Yeah. ...So, speaking of work... how's it going?

NOsbornII: Slowly. I'm trying to figure out how to gather clientele once we have our feet on the ground.

Knight in QS: ...Yeah... you can't exactly advertise, can you? Cause then people will want to know who's in charge... and... And Spider-man might try to kill you again... ::shrugs::

NOsbornII: Well, I do have my alias. I'll just have to lie low.

Knight in QS: Yeah. ::sees a sign that says 'Now Leaving New York City' and smiles:: Well... we're out of the city...

NOsbornII: That'll be nice - to be out of the city for a while. .... I did have to take a weekend trip out of state a few weeks ago, but I didn't have time to enjoy it.

Knight in QS: Business?

NOsbornII: *nods* Chemical suppliers.

Knight in QS: ::makes a small, non-comittal noise in the back of his throat, not exactly sure what to say::

NOsbornII: But, you don't want to hear about that. I spent too much of your life in offices. I want to hear about what you've been up to.

Knight in QS: ::shrugs:: Well, yesterday, I got woken up at like nine with a phone call saying that I was late for a dentist appointment, and I had like five minutes to get there before they took the next patient. So I called a cab... and barely got there in time. I guess I forgot... ::bites his lower lip::

NOsbornII: Everyone forgets now and then. ... Did they give you a little appointment card?

Knight in QS: Yeah... And I hug it on the fridge at the apartment... but I haven't really been there this week. You know?

NOsbornII: *nods* I completely understand.

Knight in QS: ::smiles faintly, and then, slowly resumes scowling:: So after the appointment, I go back to the apartment to see if there's anything else I missed, apointment-wise... and there's a message on the machine. Apparently the school lost the schedualing I did yesterday... and so they needed me to come back in so we could do it again. And when I got there, there was a line. Apparently I'm not the only person who got their scheduals 'misplaced'. So I had to wait in line, only to get in there and get a lecture about how I need to decide what direction I want my life to go in. Or more specifically, my counceler was trying to pressure me into picking a major. ::groans:: I tried to ignore him... and just signed up for what I had before... ::takes a deep breath:: ...Sorry... You didn't need to hear all that.

NOsbornII: No, I did. ...Do you want me to talk to the counselor?

Knight in QS: Nah. I think I should be good. But I kinda felt bad when I got home... cause I went right to bed... and weren't we supposed to rent a movie or something? ::sighs:: I feel like... like I'm ignoring you the way you used to ignore me.

NOsbornII: It's perfectly fine, Harry. Something came up unexpectedly, anyway.... *sighs worriedly*

Knight in QS: ::arches an eyebrow:: Anything you want to talk about?

NOsbornII: Well.... Zeki's in the hospital.

Knight in QS: ::his face falls into one of shock, but he never takes his eyes off the road:: ...What?

NOsbornII: She .... got into an accident, she's been pretty badly hurt. A lot of internal things, bruised bones and such.... I went to visit her, and she ended up begging me to stay longer. ... Since you hadn't called me, I stayed.

Knight in QS: She going to be ok?

NOsbornII: Eventually. *sigh* .... Gonna tell him whose fault it is? Gonna tell him about the cetreonephryn, about Reason, about how she's just as fucked up as you? Absolutely not. Of course.... the mantra. Don--- I tell him more than I used to. Stop shoving it in my face.

Knight in QS: ::sighs too and decides to change the subject:: ...We're almost there.

NOsbornII: We're doing much more sighing than we should. This is our little vacation, let's enjoy it. *turns up the stereo and sings a bit timidly, slightly out of tune* "From my heart and from my hand, why don't people understand -- my intention..."

Knight in QS: ::grins:: Weird Science. Good movie. ...Good song, too.

NOsbornII: Very. I never really saw the movie, though. What was it about?

Knight in QS: ::tries to remember:: S'been awhile since I've seen it... but from what I can remember, two college guys created kind of like the ultimate woman. ::shrugs, not even sure if that's right - all he can really remember was that he liked it::

NOsbornII: Aha. *chuckles* As I remember, college guys tend to think about doing things like that. Frequently.

Knight in QS: ::grins sheepishly:: Well, we can dream, can't we?

NOsbornII: We certainly can. *chuckles* .... Though, your mother did come quite close.

Knight in QS: ::smiles at the thought but says nothing and instead focuses on his driving, pulling onto a short little back road that leads right up to the lake:: Well... here we are. ::stops the car far enough away so that it won't get wet or dirty, but close enough so that they don't have to walk too far::

NOsbornII: *plucks the basket and the poles out of the backseat* Care to get the bait, Harry? .... Nice driving, by the way.

Knight in QS: Sure. ::grabs the worms:: And thanks.

NOsbornII: *locates a small simple boat with an outboard motor, all chipped pale green paint and white board seats*

Knight in QS: ::smiles and wanders over to it:: Our chariot?

NOsbornII: Ha. Yes.... let's just hope the horses haven't died. *gets in, yelping as he realizes he has NO balance in boats* .... And that the charioteer doesn't kill himself.

Knight in QS: You'll be fine, dad. ::smiles and gets in as awkwardly as his father:: ...I hope, anyway.

NOsbornII: *snickers, then puts a foot on top of the motor and yanks on the chain. It sputters.*

Knight in QS: ::arches an eyebrow at the motor::

NOsbornII: Hm. Wait, some just need a little push. *pulls at the motor again. Sputter, sputter ... and it spits some sorta motor fluid on his jeans* Well damn. ..... Don't worry, I'll make this thing work.

Knight in QS: I don't doubt you... ::eyes the motor::

NOsbornII: *yanks at the damn thing again ... it comes close to starting this time. But doesn't.*

NOsbornII: *growl*

Knight in QS: ::blinks::

NOsbornII: *kicks the motor while pulling on the chain ....and it starts* ....There. Damn thing!

Knight in QS: ::nods and smiles::

NOsbornII: *sits down behind the wheel and drives the boat out to the middle of the lake* .... I can't get over how quiet it is out here.

Knight in QS: S'nice though, isn't it? Away from everyone.

NOsbornII: Yes ... I swear, I had to leave my cell phone at home, because if I had brought it I know I would have ended up throwing it in the lake..... Enough, already. ... I think I need a secretary.

Knight in QS: Might not be a bad idea. ::shrugs::

NOsbornII: So what are your plans for the summer? Working anywhere?

NOsbornII: *puts the anchor out, a bit awkwardly, then shuts the Motor of Death off and fishes a bottle of Castle Springs water out of the cooler*

Knight in QS: ::shrugs:: I was thinking about getting job or something... Dunno what I'd do though...

NOsbornII: Maybe the library? *tries to figure out what in hell's name made him think Harry would work at a library* Nice, Norman, you sound like the Dorkfather. .... Drink your water and shut up.

Knight in QS: ::nods slowly, as he thinks about it:: Yeah. That could work. I mean, I could look up some history stuff... and Peter goes there all the time, so I'd see him... ::shrugs:: Besides, it's not like I really have skill doing anything else.

NOsbornII: *would love to back his son up and say he's good at something, but doesn't know his son well enough to do so* I'm sure there's something. Yes. Any doubt that I am a terrible father has now been removed. *shuts up and drinks his water*

Knight in QS: Yeah... ::shrugs:: ...but I doubt it'd be something that could get me a job.

NOsbornII: Well, what is it? You never know. *picks up his fishing rod and contemplates the evil slimy worms*

Knight in QS: I guess you're right. ::sees his dad looking strangely at the container of worms and then remembers what happened last time with the fish hook:: ...You want me to bait that for you? ::picks up his own rod::

NOsbornII: Mmmmno, I can do it. *picks up the styrofoam container and opens it* .... It's just creepy that they have no eyes, but they know where to go.

Knight in QS: ::laughs:: Oh thanks dad. Now I'm going to think that whenever I look at worms... and that -is- pretty creepy.

NOsbornII: They're just used to the darkness. They go quite happily, blindly wherever their senses tell them. *thinks about that and shudders* No wonder I hate worms.

Knight in QS: ...So... you sure you don't want me to do that...?

NOsbornII: No, I'm fine, seriously. You like worms so much YOU do it. No, I think you should. *picks one up, feeling it squirm* .... Ugh, bugs. Bugs? .... Hm, I could work with this.

Knight in QS: ::arches an eyebrow::

NOsbornII: *slowly puts the worm on the hook, making sure it gets stuck in quite a few places so it isn't going anywhere* There. *And yet, as worms do sometimes, this one's still moving a bit* ..... Ew.

Knight in QS: ::smiles faintly at his father's reaction and grabs his own worm, staring at it for a few seconds before sliding it onto his own hook::

NOsbornII: Let's see if I can cast this without killing us.: *stands up slowly in the boat*

Knight in QS: ::watches, not wanting to cast at the same time for fear of flipping the boat over::

NOsbornII: *makes what has got to be the lamest cast in the history of the lake ... but hey, it's out in the water and nothing got snagged* .... Well! *beams as if he's already caught something*

Knight in QS: Not too bad, dad. ::winks:: I thought you said you were a bad fisher. ::stands up to make his cast:: Here goes nothing... ::his own cast isn't much better than his father's but it's good enough:: ...And now... we wait...

NOsbornII: Which is, what, 99% of fishing?

Knight in QS: ::snickers:: Yeah.

NOsbornII: *chuckles and sets his pole down as he opens up the cooler* Sandwich?

Knight in QS: Sure. ::smiles and sets his own pole down:: What kind?

NOsbornII: Submarines -- I got the Italian kind with all the ... you know. Stuff on them. That way you can pick out what you don't want and use it for bait.

Knight in QS: ::grins:: I'm just glad you didn't make them. ::winks, to let his father know he was kidding::

NOsbornII: Ha. *makes a face at Harry* There's Pepsi Twist in there for you too.

Knight in QS: ::is happy that his father managed to remember what his favorite kind of soda is:: Thanks. ::grabs a Twist and a sandwich out of the soda and moves back within arm's reach of his pole::

NOsbornII: *grabs a sandwich of his own*

Knight in QS: So, dad, where'd you get these from? ::takes a bite out of his sandwitch, not bothering to take anything off::

NOsbornII: Martino's Deli, over on Oxford.... Same family's been running it for generations, I guess. I like that sort of thing. *naturally doesn't realize he might have just set off the Osborn Family Vibe Thing*

Knight in QS: ::nods:: Yeah. It means they're doing something right... to have stayed in business so long...

NOsbornII: Well, with these folks, I don't know. You just get this feeling when you walk in, like it's their home or something. I say that might be it.

Knight in QS: ::shurgs:: It might. ...Maybe they live over the store or something...

NOsbornII: I don't know. It's just, you know they've all been there. It's somewhat of an inexplicable thing. Like walking around the mansion. Only happier.

Knight in QS: ::nods and shrugs again, taking another bite of his sandwitch:: Well... they -do- make good subs.

NOsbornII: Yes ... yes, they do.

Knight in QS: ::shoots a glance at his pole, before cracking his Pepsi Twist open::

NOsbornII: Did someone already get all the fish or what...?

Knight in QS: Sure seems that way, huh?

NOsbornII: *pole moves, just a bit* Speak of the devils.... *sets down the sandwich and picks up the pole, testing it carefully* ..... I can't tell if there's anything.

Knight in QS: ...Wait a minute?

NOsbornII: *nods*

Knight in QS: ::watches quietly::

NOsbornII: *stares at it*

Knight in QS: ::frowns faintly, trying to decide whether or not it was a false alarm::

NOsbornII: *glances over at Harry, silently asking him if he thinks there's a fish*

Knight in QS: ::shrugs, afraid to say anything, because if there -is- a fish he doesn't want to scare it away::

NOsbornII: *quietly makes a reeling motion with his hands and blinks as if to say "should I?"*

Knight in QS: ::thinks carefully about it for a moment and then nods - if there's something there, his father will have a chance of catching it before it steals the bait... and if not, he can always re-cast::

NOsbornII: *slowly reels it in* .... *towards the end of the reeling, his face falls and he pulls the line up to reveal hook, still with worm. All of worm. No fish whatsoever* Damn.

Knight in QS: ::sighs:: ...Sorry.

NOsbornII: What? It isn't your fault. Probably the boat just rocked a bit or something. *shrugs and re-casts*

Knight in QS: ::is about to say something like, 'Yeah, but I told you to reel it in,' then thinks better of it. if it doesn't annoy his father, who cares?:: Yeah, probably. ::shrugs, and eyes his own pole which is sadly not moving::

NOsbornII: So what're you doing this week?

Knight in QS: Dunno. I haven't thought too much about it. I'll probably try to find out why Peter's been so hard to track down lately... but that probably won't take more than an afternoon or so. How about you?

NOsbornII: An afternoon? .... good luck. And you don't want to know, you just don't. Well, I'm not one to go looking for trouble, but ... I might try to track down Penelope. And of course, visit Zeki again.

Knight in QS: ::nods:: Yeah. ::frowns faintly, as he thinks back to the fact that she's in the hospital:: ...So, what are you going to do if you find Penelope?

NOsbornII: Probably tell her to get herself in gear and find us some way to get clientele. And to put an ad in the paper for a secretary.

Knight in QS: ::grins:: And you need to hunt her down to do that? God dad, what are you paying her for?

NOsbornII: Getting us investors.

Knight in QS: ::smile falters:: ...I was kidding... but... ::shrugs::

NOsbornII: *chuckles* Maybe I should smile when I joke around, eh?

Knight in QS: Might help. ::winks::

NOsbornII: Just might, I'll have to try it. *grins, then looks over at the fishing pole* .... I think we need a fish call.

Knight in QS: ::snickers, stands up, and moves over to his pole:: Here fish, fish, fish! ::grins sheepishly, casting a glance over his shoulder at his father and shrugs::

*annnnd Harry's pole moves*

Knight in QS: ::looks at it, his eyes wide - no way that just worked. waits for it to move, half expecting it not to.::

*pole moves again*

NOsbornII: *stares, afraid to smile yet*

Knight in QS: ::wastes no time in grabbing the pole and attempting to reel whatever's on the other end in::

NOsbornII: *bites his lip* Please let Harry catch a fish. We are fishing, this is a big thing, he needs to catch a goddam fish.

Knight in QS: ::finishes reeling it in, and on the end of Harry's hook is the smallest fish in the history of fishing::

Knight in QS: ::blinks::

NOsbornII: Harry?

Knight in QS: Well... I caught something... ::turns around, holding the hook up for his father to see::

NOsbornII: .... *trying not to laugh* ..... I thought you were supposed to use the bait, not catch it.

Knight in QS: ::grins sardonically:: So did I.

NOsbornII: ....Well damn, if we actually catch anything, than what the hell do we do with it? *stares at the tiny thing with a sort of awed fear and a new perspective, as he realizes that he knows almost nothing about this fishing crap*

Knight in QS: Err... well... uh... ::shakes his head and shrugs:: I dunno. Though I know what's going to happen to this fish... ::pulls it off the hook and throws it back into the water, then glares at his hook, which is missing the bait that was on it::

NOsbornII: Well, I don't know if we're having much luck here.... I'm almost ready to just reel it in. *sighs and reaches to pick up the pole* ..... *eyes widen* .... *whispers* Harry. There. Is. Something. On. My. Damn. Hook.

Knight in QS: ::arches an eyebrow and whispers back:: ...A fish...?

NOsbornII: Feels a helluva lot like one. *hands him the rod* See?

Knight in QS: ::takes it, and nods, then hands it back quickly as if he put his hand on a hot stove:: Reel it in.

NOsbornII: *nods, grinning as he starts to reel* .... Harry. This thing is heavy.

Knight in QS: ::grins excitedly, hoping for a big fish::

NOsbornII: *leans back, reeling* ..... I think I know what lunch tomorrow is.

Knight in QS: Heh... and who exactly is going to cook it?

NOsbornII: *Still reeling* This thing is huge! ... I don't know who's going to cook it, we'll hire someone or something. We can do that right? I think we can do that.

Knight in QS: ::nods:: We can do that.

NOsbornII: Okaygood. .... Get the net, Harry, here it comes!!!

Knight in QS: ::continues grinning excitedly and runs for the net:: Ok dad. ::holds the net ready::

NOsbornII: *yanks it up, and ....*

Knight in QS: ::loses his smile suddenly and blinks:: Dad... is that what I think it is...?

NOsbornII: *makes a face at it* 0_< ..... I think so. *sets it down* If you think it's a very large, excellent specimen of the Great Northern Bootfish.

Knight in QS: ::smacks himself in the forehead:: And only we could have managed that. ::motions to the boot at he sets the net down::

NOsbornII: *stares at the boot mournfully* Well .... at least it's something. *sudden thought occurs to him and he starts to chuckle*

Knight in QS: ::sighs loudly still staring, and then looks at his father strangely:: You ok, dad?

NOsbornII: Just thinking. That's probably what the fish would have tasted like, had I actually tried to cook it.

Knight in QS: Heh... same here... I don't order out all the time because I like eating out of a box... I order out because if I didn't, I'd be better off eating a box.

NOsbornII: For your own reasons, I'm supposing. Not mine, thank goodness.

Knight in QS: ::grins faintly:: So... what do we do now...?

NOsbornII: Well .... *impish smile* Zeki dared me to dress any fish I caught myself. *picks up the boot and sets it in his lap* .... Let's see, here. *picks the pondweed and milfoil off the boot and begins to tie the laces*

Knight in QS: ::snickers:: Oh... this should be fun.

NOsbornII: *ties them off nicely, then takes a napkin and folds it a bit, then twists it so it looks like a bow tie and tucks it into the laces near the tongue of the boot* Hmm. I think it's missing something, don't you?

Knight in QS: Yeah. ::frowns at it, and then looks at his dad:: ...The hat...!

NOsbornII: *face lights up* Yes!!

Knight in QS: ::grins::

NOsbornII: *laughs as he takes off the hat, turns it to find the best angle, and sets it on the boot, playing with the brim a bit*

Knight in QS: You know... after this boot... and the thing with the pizza the other day... she's really going to think we're evil.

NOsbornII: Wouldn't be far off. Oh you need to have heard some of the things she's pulled on me.

Knight in QS: ::grins:: Couldn't be that bad... could it?

NOsbornII: She can really be something when she wants to be. .... Well, *stands up* shall we go present this thing to her?

Knight in QS: ::nods:: Let's.

NOsbornII: *manages to start the motor without a hitch and steers the boat toward the shore* .... Must just not have been used for a while.

Knight in QS: Probably not.

NOsbornII: Go ahead and get out, Harry, I'll beach this thing.... *gestures to a line of rocks someone must have used for a makeshift dock*

Knight in QS: ::nods, and gets out, pulling the keys out of his pocket and starting over towards the Rolls::

NOsbornII: *takes the boot and the cooler and all and sets them on the rocks,then grabs the boat by the prow and starts pulling it towards the shore* ... Heavy thing. *plants his feet and just yanks --- and, you guessed it. Slips and ends up in the water. SPLOOSH.*

Knight in QS: ::turns at the sound of his father falling into the water:: Dad?

NOsbornII: *stands up, drenched* .... Hi. C'mon in, the water's fine. *picks milfoil off his arm*

Knight in QS: ::simply grins::

NOsbornII: Well don't just stand there. Help me beach this damn thing.

Knight in QS: ::nods, and wanders over, still smiling::

NOsbornII: *keeps his face as straight as possible as he moves over beside the boat*

Knight in QS: Ok... which side do you want me on? ::eyes the boat::

NOsbornII: I think we should both pull it from the front.

Knight in QS: ::nods:: Right. ::moves to the front of the boat, and grabs on to it tightly:: Ready?

NOsbornII: *nods* Ready. *Conveniently steps back a la every Warner Brothers cartoon, leaving Harry's fate to gravity and physics and two insane RPers*

Knight in QS: ::pulls on it hard, and ends up taking the same dive Norman did. eyes his father suspiciously as he stands up, soaking wet:: You did that on purpose.

NOsbornII: *mirrors Harry's grin*

Knight in QS: ::shakes his head and fights the urge to tackle his father back into the water::

NOsbornII: So, now we go home, then. *picks up the boot and the cooler as if nothing happened and they're still bone dry*

Knight in QS: Heh... soaking wet? In the Rolls?

NOsbornII: It'll clean up. *shrugs and puts the stuff in the back seat once more*

Knight in QS: ::shrugs:: Ok. Your call. ::slides into the driver's seat and starts up the Rolls::

NOsbornII: That, and .... *pulls two towels out of the back seat* Your father comes prepared for these things.

Knight in QS: ::shakes his head, as he grabs the towel, wondering if his father had planned the entire thing - fall into the lake and all::

NOsbornII: *nope. He just knows how bad he is at fishing.*.... *sets a towel down on the seat and climbs in, turning the stereo back on* .... Well, despite the extreme lack of fish, Harry, that was a lot of fun.

Knight in QS: ::nods:: It was. ::offers his dad a broad, genuinely happy smile - this was exactly what kind of night he wanted, one in which he could talk to his father and goof around and such:: Thanks dad. ::turns back to the task at hand, and kicks the car into drive, pulling away from the lake, giving it one last apprecative look in the rear-view mirror as he pulls the car onto the road::

(All together now. "Awwwwww." .... Next time.... The Osborns tackle .... MINIATURE GOLF! .... Stay tuned.)