Q: How old are you
A: Ten

Q: What's your favorite hobby?
A: Acting immature.

Q: Is it tough growing up with two sisters?
A: Those aren't sisters. They're Martians.

Q: Do you like school?
A: Not particularly .

Q: What's your favorite subject in school?
A: Lunch time.

Q: Is it tough growing up with a name like Bartholomew?
A: Call me that again and I'll punch your face, man.

Q: What's your favorite color?
A: Chocolate

Q: If you could do absolutely anything, what would you most like to do?
A: I'd like the phone numbers of all the world's leaders, so I could make prank phone calls to them.

Q: Who, in your family, do you most like to play pranks on?
A: Can you keep a secret? (All of them)

Q: What's you favorite TV show?
A: The Krusty the Clown Show.

Q: What would you like to be when you grow up?
A: I'd like to be a superhero --- Bartman .

Q: Who's your favorite role model?
A: Otto, my school bus driver. He has the coolest tattoos, man.

Q: What do you like to do for fun?
A: Read comic books, watch TV, eat snacks, watch TV, make prank phone calls, watch TV, play video games, made rude noises, and watch TV. Did I mention watch TV?

Q: Do you have a favorite movie?
A: Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie.

Q: What's your full name ?
A: Bartholomew Jo-Jo Simpson.

Q: What's your biggest gripe about home life?
A: Not enough escape routes, man.

Q: What has been your biggest disappointment as a kid?
A: Do you realize there has not been one cool war during my entire lifetime? Sometimes I lie in bed at night, worrying there never will be.

Q: Do you think rock albums should be labeled for offensive content?
A: Of course albums should be labeled, man. Why waste money on music that won't disgust your parents.

Q: What do you think you'll be when you grow up?
A: I'll either be the president of the United States or a master criminal. Or both.

Q: How has school helped you in life?
A: What? I have no time for trick questions.

Q: Complete this sentence: "I'm glad I ..."
A: ... have eight more years before I can be tried as an adult.

Q: If you could pick your parents, what qualities would they have?
A: They'd be wealthy, generous, small, and very, very slow.

Q: Why do you think you get into trouble at school?
A: Because of dirty squealers, vengeful teachers, and diabolical principals. I'm constantly amazed how nobody in the world has a sense of humor except me.

Q: What photos do you have from your childhood?
A: I mostly have police composite drawings.

Q: Where were you brought up?
A: In Springfield. Watch the program, bonehead.

Q: What is the most valuable piece of advice Homer ever gave to you?
A: Never never never change your story.

Q: Was Homer a good role model?
A: Yes. Without his example I would still think that you need to work for a living.

Q: Has Homer ever hit you?
A: Hell yeah! but he only hits me out of love.

Q: Do you see Homer as a friend?
A: If we were peers, I think he would be more of a hanger - on than a friend.

Q: What have you inherited from Homer?
A: I dunno. Gift of gab?

Q: What was Homer's finest moment ?
A: The time he stepped in a bucket and fell down the stairs and landed on his own birthday cake. That was fantastic !