Simpson Designs: with the walf figure in fashion at the moment, do you ever get depressed when you look at your figure in the mirror?

Homer: absolutely not!!!!! I dont own a mirror.

SD: Homer what would you do if beer was suddenly declared illegal in u.s.a?

Homer: I would move to Australia!!

SD: do you ever get jealous of marge's ample head of hair?

Homer: there not really going to declare beer illegal are they? what have you heard? talk to me!!

SD: what did you feel when you first found out that you were going to be a father?

Homer: I felt nauseous and bloated.

SD: have you ever been unfaithful of Marge?

Homer: never......cutie.

SD: do you find it a challenge to work with toxic waste?

Homer: thats no way to talk about lenny and carl.

SD: if you had the chance to be on the Jerry Springer show, who would you confront and why?

Homer: the jerk that wants to make beer illegal!!

SD: would you ever like to host your own tv talk show?

Homer: yes because I could get behind a desk and never have to wear pants.

SD: would you ever join ned flanders and his crusade for god?

Homer: only if we used his car , or only if we could stop at Moe's on the way!