Political Quotes

"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history."
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago"
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President

"It's time for the human race to enter the solar system!"
- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President on the concept of a manned mission to Mars

"Space is almost infinite. As a matter of fact, we think it is infinite."
- Dan Quayle, US VP, head of the Space Council

"The internet is a great way to get on the net"
- Bob Dole 

I invented the internet." 
- Al Gore, 1997

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
- Al Gore, Vice President

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country." 
- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."
- David Dinkins New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." 
-Bill Clinton, President

"Politics gives guys so much power that they tend to behave badly around women. And I hope I never get into that."
- Bill Clinton, former U.S. president

"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our  papers. We are the president."
- Hillary Clinton

The Lybian army is capable of destroying America and breaking its nose.
- Muammar Qaddafi

"Solutions are not the answer."
- Richard Nixon, former U.S. President

"If combat means living in a ditch, females have biological problems staying in a ditch for thirty days because they get infections and they don't have upper body strength. I mean, some do, but they're relatively rare. On the other hand, men are basically little piglets, you drop them in the ditch, they roll around in it, doesn't matter, you know. These things are very real. On the other hand, if combat means being on an Aegis-class cruiser managing the computer controls for twelve ships and their rockets, a female may be again dramatically better than a male who gets very, very frustrated sitting in a chair all the time because males are biologically driven to go out and hunt giraffes."
- Newt Gingrich, Former Republican Speaker of the House of Representatives

"I don't know that atheists should be considered citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God."
- George Bush Senior, during a conservative fundraiser

"How can there be peace when drunkards, drug dealers, communists, atheists, New Age worshipers of Satan, secular humanists, oppressive dictators, greedy money changers, revolutionary assassins, adulterers, and homosexuals are on top?"
- Pat Robertson, The New World Order, p.227

"I really believe that the pagans, the abortionists, the feminists, and the gays, and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way, all of them who tried to secularize America --- I point the finger in their face and say 'You helped this happen'."
- Jerry Falwell, 700 Club (Morning Edition), September 13, 2001 (on who is to blame for the September 11th terrorist attack on the World Trade Center and Pentagon)

"A billion here, a billion there, sooner or later it adds up to real money."
- Everett Dirksen, Congressman

"After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post."
-- Superintendent of Schools, Barrington, Rhode Island

Celebrity Quotes

"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."
- Britney Spears, Pop Singer

"I always listen to 'NSYNC's Tearin' Up My Heart. It reminds me to wear a bra."
- Britney Spears, Pop Singer

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign

"Sit by the homely girl, you'll look better by comparison."
- Debra Maffett, Miss America 1983

"We don't like their sound. Groups of guitars are on the way out."
- Decca Records Rejecting the Beatles, in 1962

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
-- Mariah Carey, singer

Sports Quotes

"Pitching is 80% of the game. The other half is hitting and fielding."
- Mickey Rivers, baseball player

"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees."
-Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks

"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
-Philadelphia Phillies manager Danny Ozark

"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious."
- Alan Minter, Boxer

"You guys line up alphabetically by height."
- Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach

"The only reason we're 7-0 is because we've won all seven of our games."
- David Garcia, baseball team manager

Government Quotes

"Your medical assistance is cancelled beginning 9/24/84 because of your death."
- Letter from the Iowa Department of Human Services

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
- Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

Passive activity income does not include the following: Income for an activity that is not a passive activity.
- IRS form 8583, Passive Activity Loss Limitation

You will find it a distinct help if you know and look as if you know what you are doing.
- IRS Training Manual for tax auditors

Please provide the date of your death.
- from an IRS letter