| Women & Self-Esteem |
HOW DO WE OBTAIN PROPER SELF-ESTEEM? It is possible to have proper self-esteem as we're rightly related to our creator, God. We were created with these deep needs for personal security and significance, and God designed the way to meet these needs. God is the only One who knows me totally, and loves me totally. I never have to fear he'll learn something about me that's so bad that he'll reject me. God says "I have loved you with an everlasting love" I don't have to worry about what makes me acceptable in a relationship with God, the way I do in human relationships. God has seen me at my worst, and still loves me. That is a kind of security that no human relationship can afford me. We will never risk facing rejection from God. God knows us totally and loves us totally. And we don't need to fear God's rejection if we fail at an endeavour. In fact, that is one of the reasons that God sent the person of Christ in the first place – to pay for the imperfection, the self-centredness that causes distance between us and Him. So, the primary solution to this question of how we achieve a proper sense of self-esteem is to establish relationship with our creator, God. HOW TO MAINTAIN A WELL-BASED SENSE OF SELF-ESTEEM. If you're like me, you can experience little setbacks in your sense of security and significance. We need a way of handling those setbacks. It all starts with our thinking. The way we think largely determines the way we behave, and that's why exercises that deal only with behaviour bring short-term results. We have to change our thinking, and that will influence our behaviour. I've based my self-worth on how I think I'm performing. This doesn't mean that I shouldn't work up to my highest standard, but it does mean I shouldn't base my significance on that one thing. So, how do I correct my train of thought? I have to retrain myself to think what is true about me. I'm going to remember that I am a significant person to God, and even if my job performance was off the mark today, God still loves me unconditionally. He can even help me learn from this. Although the examples change, the principles remain the same. God never changes. His love for us remains the same. This isn't just positive thinking or a "band-aid" solution. This is right thinking; it's a foundational solution. So, we need to ensure that our relationship with God is intact, and then we need to pursue right thinking. One way is with further study. I always like to recommend two excellent studies related to this subject. One is a set of individual topics called The Transferrable Concepts, by Campus Crusade for Christ. They are extremely practical and very user-friendly. The other study is Behold Your God by Myrna Alexander. It is a very practical book directed to help women deal with daily situations in light of God's character and help in their lives. I had spent many years trying to fill that vacuum with many created things that didn't ultimately meet my needs for security and significance. But I recall the night I opened the door of my heart to God – I said a simple prayer asking Him to come into my life. (Check out crusade.org/fourlaws if you would like God to fill the vacum in your heart. As women, we will continue to make great strides in our professional lives, but we make a fundamental error if we think that our relationships and accomplishments can ultimately meet our deepest needs for security and significance. Only our Creator can do that. He longs to do that in each of our lives. The choice to allow Him to do this is ours. God wants to be our leverage in living, empowering us to feel better about ourselves, more excited about our future, more grateful for those we love and more enthusiastic about our faith. If you are a believer in Jesus Christ, God has given you His Holy Spirit to help you live life according to His perfect plan. Why not pray this simple prayer and by faith invite Him to fill you with His Spirit: Dear Father, I need you. I acknowledge that I have sinned against you by directing my own life. I thank You that You have forgiven my sins through Christ's death on the cross for me. I now invite Christ to again take His place on the throne of my life. Fill me with the Holy Spirit as You commanded me to be filled, and as You promised in Your Word that You would do if I asked in faith. I pray this in the name of Jesus. As an expression of my faith, I thank You for directing my life and for filling me with the Holy Spirit. Amen. If you prayed this prayer, we would love to hear about it! |
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