Nakie time!!!

The Monkey Barrel

Ace Paintball Kick ass! Ace Hardware have their own web based paintball store. The prices range from good to great and the page looks sharp too. If you're in the market for a new paintball gun and you want an autococker, this is the place for you. They sell every variant known to man. If you're looking for something else though, you might be hard pressed to find it.
Action Sports Paintball ??????????????????????????????????????????? I'll give you a quarter if you write a review for this place. I'll give you two quarters if you've actually ordered from them.

Update: They lie. They don't have online ordering like their forward did. This page consists of maybe a pic and a phone number. Suck. I list it here to prove my point about chimps in our grand sport.
Aeon Assault Paintball T-Shirts and other apparel. I'm trying to see if they'll make me a silver uniform. I've already scared the guy once. I told him I was serious. Good designs. I'm looking forward to what they'll do when they catch on. Scary part is that I think they've been around for a few years now but I just found out about them the other day. Scary what you find on the web...
Air Concepts Industries That's right, the company that brought back such classics as the remodled F-1 illustrator and Trracer under the names of the F-4 (how creative) and Maverick. Although I hate their barrels, I have to give them credit for not trying to name it the Maverrick or Maaverick. They make pretty inexpensive equipment of sometimes questionable performance. How good can a $30 expansion chamber barely bigger than a stick of gum be? Sure, they make some of the best entry level guns on the market but I guess you can already tell that I don't like their aftermarket parts.
Airgun Designs Who doesn't know who these people are? They're more famous than Ford. Ok, well maybe I'm a little Jaded (lots and lots actually), but if you ever plan on playing tournament paintball, buying a higher end semi auto with a great track record, or have ever been shot out, you probably know all about them. A glowing review? I've used one, but probably never will again. Why you ask? Check the PBR pages for someone else's review. I won't talk bad about them because we were almost sponsored by them.
All Things Paintball A niftly little page who's layout and design looks like something I would do. They've got a bit of something for everyone. There is a lot of info on tournament stuff and some stuff for rec-ball players as well. Naturally, I checked out the chat rooms and new products pages.
APG (Action Pursuit Games magazine) One of the most popular paintball magazines printed here in the states. A long time favorite of mine until I realized that the mag was written for every other chimp on the planet and all the letters were from 14 year old kids who were whining about their Spyder or talking big about this new team they started on the playground during lunch.
Bad Boyz Toyz Not as much info on how to upgrade your marker (autocockers especially) as I found on some of the other links from Ravi Chopra's page, but still worth mentioning. They do indeed have some of the best customization works but expect to pay over a grand for anything here. The common price range appears to be over $1400. The page appears to be in the middle of reconstruction but they were nice enough to still have some samples on display. Joy.
bestpaintballprices.com I'm honestly impressed. They're a new kid on the block and are actually pretty respectable so far. At first I was a bit disuaded by the fact that I had to go through several forwarding sites before I got to the final page and there I discovered that it was still heavily under construction. Further inspection revealed that their prices are better than most and on some items (like barrels) can rival some of my favorite sites. Worth a trip.
Bob Long's page Needs ketchup.
Brass Eagle This is not a very bad site. It's actually very well designed. It was created by ArtWorks so you'd have to expect it. Lots of purdy pictures, some really good info, and an interesting array of never-before seen links like "Customer Service". If you're looking for stuff to join the Plastic League, this is the place to start. I've stopped hating Brass Eagle a couple of years ago and started to love them again simply because they bring so many new players to our sport and help to force the prices down for the rest of the sport. With the rest of the industry in an arms race, they keep getting better and cheaper. Their focus on the future of our beloved sport is what we need.
C.E.P. (Cutting Edge Paintball) Um... Er... Yeah. I basically compare prices of one company to the next based upon five things. Paint (all brands), the Autococker, the Angel, the Automag, and the Trracer. I can't honestly say whether this place had good prices or not because their selection didn't include ANY of the above items. Sure, they've got pics of every Jersey or Mask that they offer, but in all fairness, their page is sleek and loads real fast because of it's simple design with easy navigation.
C.O. Paintball Supply This company has earned my respect for their mail order practices in the past and some decent prices on some fun things, but their web page seems to fall off of my top 5 pages that I would reccomend. This one comes somewhere in my mid-whatever series of pages worth a view only if you're bored enough. Deals will be found elsewhere but they're great at shipping stuff on time! If you want fresh paint, quick, give them a try.
Center Flag These guys know how to host a page! They've got a decent layout and the prices aren't half bad either. The page is just fun to read because they don't try to be PC. We play paintball and they know we could care less. I'm going to start ordering from them from now on and save up for THIS!
Cobra Paintball An interesting page with all sorts of neat photos and stuff. Not the greatest selection in the world. It seems like they specialize in having every possible variation of a few markers. I only saw five or six different paintball guns, but they had about a dozen variations of each. Not the greatest prices in the world, but they're WDP certified and have outfuckingstanding prices on the Angel. Not that it helps us, right?
Diamond GT More information and pics of the Diamond line of paintball guns than you'll find anywhere. Naturally, it IS the vendor's page and all. They almost don't look all that bad but I know they used the Spider for their blueprints. If you look close enough you will see the same parts. The least they could have done after designing a different body is to have redesigned the bolt assembly and given it a better trigger. Oh yeah, the page itself is just your basic 2 frame page.
DYE (dave youngblood enterprises) Although at first I wasn't too fond of the player after stories from my team mates who watched him 'play' in the Splat-1 indoor tournament, I've come to like many of his products. I'm still not sure what to make of his boomstick barrels because I've never had a chance to tinker with one although my thought from earlier in the page is half true. While it's not jammed with java and flash, it does make an appearance and comes out with a very professional looking website with only a few bugs. Namely, the back button won't always work because you get caught in forwarding traps. Grrr... Don't buy from the website. $$$!
Foothills Paintball Everyone knows Perry. This is his site. Not much to look at, I know, but the store is better. THEY'VE GOT GREAT TROUSERS!!! Too bad it's an hour and a half away from us... :::sniff::: They've got better air prices than Splat-1 right now though...
Hardwarz Paintball A must for Brass Eagle owners/fans. The only place that you can find remanufactured goods at decent prices and they're more than happy to help you lose weight from your bulky bank account with wonderfully expensive aftermarket parts that may or may not work. They might, but I've never tried them. Do I want to? Nah. I did, but then I sold my last B.E. marker. Well, there's always the Blade, but I bought it because I couldn't upgrade it. I'm sure I can find something though...
I&I Sports One of the more bland web pages out there, but at least it beats a great deal of the Geocities sites like this one. They're most notable for having obscure items. If you need a fairly rare part and don't trust your local paintball store, then give them a call. Don't try to find it on their web page because it's a bitch to navigate the way it's laid out. The biggest problem with their website is that they try to seamlesly blend paintball equipment and martial arts gear. Grrr...
JT Everyone has seen Bonnie, the JT girl. She's the one who appears in JT clothing in all the american mags and in a bit less in PGI. Their web page is worth a visit. They've got some great stuff on it and if you are into motorcross, there's stuff there for ya too.
KAPP (kick ass paintball products) Kind of a boring site, but you get to see a complete list of just about every part and their retail prices for some of your favorite semis. I'm trying to make out a list to see if I can scratch build a chrome mini-cocker using their parts and some custom aftermarket bits as opposed to buying a whole kit and then replacing the whole thing over the next year.
Kingman International Corp. Spyders... :::shudder::: Don't get me started... And you thought I could badmouth ACI.
Lapco Paintball Lots of information brought to you by not only my favorite barrel comany, but some stuff from outside resources too. Definitely worth a peek. No flash this time, but that's a good thing sometimes. I'm almost expecting DYE's web page to be packed with flash and java. We'll see.
Midwest Paintball Warehouse Actually, you'd be supprised at some of the prices. This has got to be one of the most picture packed site out there. Just about everything has a picture of the product, even lense cleaner. Good site for reference and a must see if you're looking for Lapco stuff.
Nitro-Duck I remmeber hating their paint. I remember using one of their HPA tanks. I remember a lot of their products passing me by without my caring. Their web site does a great job of using Flash to little or no effect. It's not flashy, it's not snazzy, it looks like something that Lucas would do if he ever finished learning Flash. Don't go there.
Paintball Command Yuck! What an ugly page. I've been trying their site for over three years now and they're still using the same generic layout. What's with that remote control? Sure, the idea of a remote control for a web page may seem novel (if you like tv) but it somehow misses the mark here. Harsh? At least I haven't said that they suck... yet. That would come after you discover that their claim to fame is that they ship "most" orders in 3 days. Fuck that shit. Most other companies ship within 24 hours and have better prices too!
Paintball Factory Wow, I haven't seen a website that offered your choice of content since Netscape and IE code fought so valiantly for domination of the HTML standard back in HTML2. The trick here is that instead of being optimized for IE/Netscape, it's Flash/NoFlash. If you're surfing with a nifty connection or fee like you can wait for your analog connection to download the flash, it's worth the flash. I laughed out loud when I first visited this site. Decent prices, better than anything you can find in a magazine, limited selection of gear and guns but a great selection of paint. Worth the trip.
Paintball Fanatic Of course I would find this site, its name sums me up to a T. Decent page. Fairly run of the mill, but easier to navigate than, oh say, MWPW. Average prices. Nothing to be fanatical about.
Paintball Games Dallas Decent prices for the average chimp with an APG. I used to like them because they actually listed difficult to find items and had some great paint prices. That all went to hell when they decided to fuck up two of my orders and one of Chuck's in succession. If you don't need it on time, or at all, they're the ones to talk to.
Paintball-Guns.com It's one giant flea market of used markers with pics. The page layout is annoying and very hard to read, the adds are written by the people selling the markers and this means you're bombarded with headings like "~PiMP~ F4 4 SaLe" and the like. Makes me sick. Other than that, you'll see your average lot of custom markers that have probably seen either no use, or all the wrong kind. It's your money, not mine.
Paintball Headquarters Blah. No, really, I'm serious. Blah. This site not only has poor selection, and just an average page, but their prices are not all that spankarific. I'd be mad if I had to order from them. One good thing though, they're the only place I've seen that had Phantoms. Maybe I'm just not looking hard enough...
Paintball Junkies Neat little web site. It was obviously brans spanking new when I checked it because although the pages were made, some of the blanks still needed to be filled in. The clothes look nice though. I'm strongly considering getting one of their jerseys. Now, if only they made matching bottoms...
Paintball Monkey HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! This is great stuff! The first page is the best though. It isn't a store or anything, just a group of people with more to say and a real domain. Definitely one of the MUST see pages that I will reccomend to friends. I suppose sooner or later I'll have to set up a Top Ten Paintball Sites as I see it.
Paintball-Online Well now, they're a wonderfully designed page that even loads fast on MY suck-ass connection. The prices are above average and the selection is cryptic at best, but an occasional bargain shows up here and there. If you want to order paint, they're worth checking out. They boast the greatest collection of Nelson in the world. I didn't even think you could get RED anymore. Also, they have Accuball and claim that it's the best thing since crotchless panties.
Paintball PX I think the page is laid out decently. It loads quick and is easy to navigate. Nothing special. I have never dealt with them though because I don't really think their prices are any good. Fairly above average. td>
paintballgear.com Another pretty good site with some great deals on various items. They are unique in the respect that you can use drop down menus to build your own package and they even offer online order tracking WOW! A quality operation 100%.
paintballmart.com Pretty new site. I only found it because I was suffering through an issue of APG looking for useful information and when I checked it out, it was easy to navigate, looked pretty good, with your average selection of all the major brands and that's it. Prices are not something to look forward to. I will give them credit for one thing. They're the only place I've ever seen to waste bandwidth displaying images of replacement lenses for the Scott Badass. Krikey!
Palmer Pursuit Shop Are you one of those people who hate popular things? Do you constantly strive to be different? Do you like eclectic terms that most newbies don't get like, 'Stroker'? Do you think all guns should be made from brass and not aluminum? If you care about OPF more than price and you think Angels are for pussies, then check these guys out. They've been around since the beginning and they're only really known for their Cocker accessories. It's a shame really.
Porno-Paintball I've spent countless hours reading every byte of this page and check it religiously every single day. As soon as you get there, ignore everything else and just read the "bitches and gripes" section. You will then know why I am a devoted promoter. As a side note, I've put this link up three times now and if it dissapears one more time, I'll... put it back a fourth time, YEAH! Take it.
Professional Paintball Well, it's like this: The page looks good, they're the only place that I've seen that offers a fair selection of goods at average to fair prices, nice Flash effects, lots and lots of customization options for autocockers and everything else, but they don't sell stock autocockers at all. Hrrmmmm...
PGI (Paintball Games International magazine) The official magazine of all smack talkers and tournament player wanna-bes. I happen to enjoy the refreshingly sadistic writing style of all the authors (who incedentally are all professional players in the UK and US circuits) as they give straight forward answers to letters and write about useful things. Plus, the lack of censorship of the UK press makes for some entertaining reading as well. The naked paintball girl of the past couple of years has yeilded to the naked girl giving head to a dual agitated hopper. Britts... Go figure.
PMI (Pursuit Marketing International) Not a bad page. It's nothing to write home about, but it's not that bad. It pales in comparison to the grand might of the RP Scherer page, but hey, not everyone wants to shell out all the money to have a good done up in flash. Sigh...
Predator Paintball Although their web site gets more and more difficult to navigate each time I go there, they've got some fucking awesome prices on their specials. They're the people to talk to for an Angel for less than a grand or a Shocker for under six hundred bucks. Unfortunately, even though they have great prices on even Automags, they still sell Cockers for way too fucking much. Grrr...
Pro-Team Products Rather straightforward, not very bland. Looks like the designer just finished reading the Aliens graphic novels before working on their site. Some noteworthy pics of their stuff and some information about the industry that doesn't interest me. Sadly, there is precious little info on their actual products. I tried to find out more info on the Micrococker and I found more info on a dealer's page than this one.
R.P. Scherer I'm impressed. If there's any one resource that I would send people to who were curious about the sport, this would probably be it. After taking a look at their marvelous Flash3 packed site, you'll agree that it's a lot more suited to inexperienced people who want to know what the sport is about than say... this page.
Ravi's Paintball Place By far, the most extensive collection of paintball knowledge as it pertains to the Autococker. His page has some great articles on timing, troubleshooting, and popular upgrades. If you own, or have ever considered purchasing an Autococker, then this page is a -MUST READ-. Mad crazy props, yo. Few pages like this one hold up to the 'content is king' way of thinking among web pages where eye candy with no real info is rampant.
Scott The web site reminded me a lot of their masks actually. Looks promising (another Flash site) but once you get into it, the paintball part consists of 3 sparce pages with less than a paragraph of text each. A lot of pics, you ask? Nope. I felt cheated. Maybe their skiing and motorcross sections are better. I dunno.
Skanline Wow, I'm honestly impressed. They're obviously spent a lot of money to have this page done. Lots of java and a whole bunch of random midi files to listen to while you shop for decent prices. I'd put it in the top five pages to shop for prices. If you don't have a strong fast connection to the net, you might want to give this one a miss or at least pack a lunch. I am currenly on a T-1 and it crashed my browser. Suck. Looks great the second time around though. I've spent a LOT of time viewing their page. Lots of great pics for various things.
Smart Parts Makers of the infamous Shocker and the vast majority of the aftermarket barrels you see out in the stores. I believe they were also the pioneers of the splash anodizing market. Their website doesn't contain a lot of flash (any that I saw) so it loads pretty quick. It's an Active Server Page for all you geeks out there so it's got a couple of interesting bits. Some pics of some stuff and they brag about secure online ordering but if you want a bargain you're in the wrong place.
Splat-1 Adventures It's the best paintball store in our area. Trust me, I've looked high and low. Now that they have a store in Knoxville again instead of Blaine, it's a lot more convenient to get stuff from them. They've got some great fields, run an ass load of tournaments, sponsored a team that had a real dick for the team captain, have some really kick-ass prices for a store, and besides, Randy is just cool. Oh yeah, their website isn't what I'd pay money to have someone make for me, but it serves it's purposes. We've been playing there for years and years and...
Sports Alternative They've got some kick ass artwork and some other nifty stuff to boot. I really love the way the page is designed. Their prices are fair to average, the selection is above average. Hell, some of the things they sell, I don't see how they could possibly have it. The articles are written by other players on a submission basis so it's almost as bad as reading PGI but you don't have to read emails from 14 year olds.
Tippmann They've got to be the only company I'd reccomend over ACI for an entry level gun. By Entry Level I mean you won't break the bank to get a decent marker and you won't look like Super-Chimpo the Daisy Weilding Psycho Andy...
U.S. Paintball By no means an old school player in the paintball mail order business, their complete lack of advertising seems to have only resulted in great prices. I'm serious. I did a bit of price shopping (because that's what I like doing) and I've only found one site that has better prices. The trick is I CAN NOT REMEMBER THE URL!!! Grrr...
USA Performance Products Everyone's seen their adds. They're the ones with the same basic semi that nobody's ever used where it is shown in 1001 different configurations with stocks, drop forwards, sight rails, expansion chambers, bayonette mounts, dildo mounts, and a hotplate.
VooDoo Paintball Lots and lots of pics for their products, not the greatest selection of markers but they're the only place I've seen that has the Raven stuff. Prices? About average. The site itself seems pretty good and elaborate. Not too flashy but pretty easy to navigate.
Warped Sports Some of the best Flash paintball eyecandy on the web. This page has got to be at the forefront of the 'neat things in paintball' category. If you understand OPF and can justify a splash anodizing on your 'gun, you'll love this page! Inside, you'll find all the latest and greatest gadgetry for cockers and angels (sorry, no 'mags) to make you seem that much more of a despiseable persone with money to burn. You have to look at them and hate life but hey, wouldn't you do it too?
Wicked Impulse Some of the best looking jersys around! I highly reccomend considering them if you are looking for a jersy that doesn't have JT plastered all over it. The rest of the stuff looks sweet, but until I get my grubby little hands on one, I'll have to wait. I really like the Glacier jersey pattern the best, but that's just me. OooOOoohh!!! Padded elbows!
WDP It's all about the Angel, baby. All sorts of nifty stuff to help you lighten your wallet and make your bank account statements shorter. Highly reccomended. I reccomend a 4.0 browser with a good multimedia suite and flash for viewing their site. Be sure to check out their VR paintball game. Tons more flashy than the one on Warpig.
Worr Games Products This page doesn't live up to the great fame of the Autococker, but it's got some useful stuff nonetheless. It was the first and only place you could get a glimpse of the 2000 Autococker and they can even show you some neat stuff while you're there. You'll wanna take a look at some of the cut-away diagrams and stuff so you can get a better idea of how a cocker works. There is an animated gif on Warpig which shows you how it works better, but that's to be expected. Warpig is just cool like that every once in a while.
yourpaintballstore .com How boring. I really liked the ease of navigation through their unique side bar, but the prices are enough to give people a hernia.
32 Degrees How boring. I like the company but their website sucks dick. Not a lot of content, nothing of interest to the average player, but you can order their catalog for a whopping $5. Yay...
888 Paintball Easy enough page to view. Not too much Flash or Java. Just a whole bunch of really good deals. This one seems to hold the top spot for my 'places-to-send-people-to-get-a-new-marker-or-paint' category.