Age 4-"My Mommy can do ANYTHING!"

Age 8-"My Mom knows a lot-A whole lot!"

Age 12-"My mother doesn't know quite everything."

Age 14-"Naturally Mother doesn't not THAT, either."

Age 16-"Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned"

Age 18-"That old woman? She's way out of date!"

Age 25-"Well, she might now a little about it."

Age 35-"Before we decide, let's ask mom about it."

Age 45-"Wonder what mom would have thought about it?"

Age 65-"Wish I could talk it over with mom."

Only a Mother...

Can listen to the same knock-knock joke 27 times without hollering "Nobody's Home!"

Will be Scrabble partner with a kid who thinks "cookie" begins with a "K".

Will unwind 56 feet of toilet paper so her little darling can have the empty roll--to make a Mother's Day present.

Knows the location of every drive thru window in town.

Knows the exact temperature a crayon will melt on the dashboard.

Will try to hide a green leafy vegetable in a cookie.

Will buy an 8x10 photo of her little darling with a palm tree growing out of her ear.

Knows the secret of happy grocery shopping with a toddler--visit the bakery aisle first, and plug his lips with a big cream horn.

Will cherish the 1000th rendition of Twinkle, Twinkle from a budding violinist.

Will show up to work with Mickey Mouse stickers on her posterior.

Sees a Picasso in those scribbles decorating the fridge.

Knows all the verses to This Old Man

Can dig out emergency lunch money from the dryer lint filter.

Can find her last good pair of pantyhose hitching a wagon to a tricycle.

Knows the sure-fire way to get 3 children to eat carrots--buy 2 carrots.

Is limber enough to wrestle a fitted sheet onto the top bunk bed.

Invests fifty dollars in stale macaroons to help send the French Club to Disneyland.

Will attempt to grow hydroponic tomatoes in one night for a last-minute science project.

Can see across town and locate a missing shoe from her office desk phone.

Can switch from cook to catcher in an instant.

Has a bathtub filled with little yellow duckies.

Seeing that there are only 4 pieces of pie for 5 people, prompty announces that she never did care for pie.