Kame House
Rating: PG-13
This is a true story, about seven strangers, picked to live in a house, and have their lives taped, to find out what happens, when people stop being polite, and start getting real. The Real World... Kame House.
Episode 1 - July 1st, 1999
Two MTV cameramen are at the Kame House and wait outside for the selected strangers. Suddenly Piccolo lands on the island. He folds his arms and waits for the other strangers.
Master Roshi walks out of his house and greets Piccolo.
Piccolo: What!? This drunken fool is in this too? Damn it!
Suddenly Bulma arrives in a Capsule Corp. jet. She steps out and about faints when she sees that she has to be with Master Roshi and Piccolo.
Bulma: Wait just a second… let me guess, Master Roshi hasn't left right? Please tell me that he is going to leave!
Master Roshi: Nope. I told them they couldn't use my house unless they gave me a part.
Bulma: Oh dear god. Plus... Piccolo is here. That just makes everything fine and dandy!
Goku arrives and drops his duffel bag. He greets everybody with a smile.
Son Goku: Piccolo, Bulma, Master Roshi? What are the odds (Goku chuckles)
Piccolo: ...
Bulma: ...
Suddenly ChiChi arrives in a hover car. She runs over and hugs Goku.
ChiChi: You are in this too!? I can't believe it!
Bulma: Well you did have to sign up… you two tried to keep a secret from each other?
ChiChi: No! By the way... why didn't you tell me Goku!?
Gokou: Err.. I.. I.. never got around to it.. wait a minute, why didn't you tell me?
ChiChi: Heh Heh I.. err, it slipped my mind that's all. But that doesn't matter, we will still be together!
Vegeta hovers down and drops his duffel bag. His mouth drops when he sees his roommates.
Vegeta: Bulma? Piccolo? ChiChi? Umm.. that old fool, whatever his name is.. and Kakkarotto!? What the hell is going on!?
Bulma: I'm the one that should be asking questions! Why did you sign up without telling me?
Vegeta: Why do I have to tell you anything?
Piccolo: Anyway.. why would you be interested in something like this?
Vegeta: Your the one to talk Piccolo! I think you'd be the last person to participate in something like this!!
Bulma: Hey Hey Hey! Don't try and change the subject!
Vegeta: You can stay out of this Bulma!
Goku: Hey, what happened to the seventh member?
Bulma: Yea.. there is supposed to be seven people. I only see six.
Master Roshi: Oh yeah, they told me that he couldn't make it to this island on time. So they are discussing if they should ditch the last member or send him in later.
Bulma: Ok... now that we got that settled. Vegeta! What were you...?
She gets cut off by a few of the others. The raging arguments start up again. Master Roshi and Goku just stand there watching all the bickering and fighting. After a few minutes of vulgar language and heated comments, they decide to get settled in their new house.
Vegeta: What the hell is this!? There is only three bedrooms and there are six of us!
Master Roshi: Well I'm keeping my room.
Vegeta: What if I decide to take it old man (Vegeta sneers.)
Master Roshi: Well...
Master Roshi pulls out a few nude pictures of Bulma from behind his back.
Master Roshi: Lookie what I have here! If you cross me, I'll tell Bulma that you gave me these hee hee!
Vegeta: Why you little pervert!
Bulma: Well, I'll get this room. No one is taking it from me. Vegeta, this bed is large enough. This can be our room.
Vegeta: Fine.
ChiChi: Oh Goku that means we can share this room.
Goku: Umm.. ok. Where's Piccolo going to stay?
Piccolo: I'll sleep outside. I don't need to pamper myself. I'll sleep like I always do.
Shortly after that, the episode ends.
Episode 2 - July 2nd, 1999
This episode starts out with Vegeta storming into the living room.
Vegeta: Now who in the hell used my toothbrush!?
Goku walks out of his room in a towel, obviously he just took a shower.
Goku: What did you say Vegeta?
Vegeta: I said "Now who in the hell used my toothbrush."
Goku: Oh sorry, that was me. I wasn't paying attention.
Vegeta: What!? Damnit Kakkarotto! I'm going to tear you apart.
Goku: Can you do it later? I'm tired right now; I'm going back to bed.
ChiChi walks into the living room in a bathrobe.
ChiChi: Now what is all the commotion about? (She yawns )
Vegeta: Your idiotic husband used my toothbrush!
ChiChi: Hey, don't call my man an idiot!
Bulma staggers into the living room while wearing a nightie. Obviously she's half asleep.
Bulma: What's going on.. I was sleeping. (She deeply yawns )
Vegeta: Bulma.. what the hell do you think you are doing?
ChiChi: Goku! I saw you staring at her!! I can't believe you!
Goku: Wha...?
Bulma: What are you guys complaining about?
ChiChi: Like you didn't know! You're barely clothed!
Bulma looks down at her apparel and her eyes widen. She quickly dashes off to her room without saying a word.
ChiChi: Now Goku, admit it! Were or weren't you staring at her!?
Goku: I uhh..
Vegeta: That's not important. Kakkarotto used my toothbrush and he shall pay!
Goku: I uhh..
ChiChi: Oh is it? This wouldn't have happened if your whore of a wife didn't walk out and sell herself!
Vegeta: What!?
Goku: I uhh.. um, wait I mean whoa...
Vegeta: At least she isn't a bitch like you!
ChiChi: What... well I never! Goku.. take care of him.
Goku: I uhh..
ChiChi: What are you waiting for Goku!?
Vegeta: Yea Kakkarotto! We shall settle our feud once and for all!
Goku: I.. I ... (Goku whines ) It's too early, I don't wanna fight! I wanna sleep!!
ChiChi: You will fight or no dinner for you!
Goku: Can she do that Vegeta?
Suddenly a loud scream is heard followed by a slap. A door slams shut and Master Roshi stumbles into the room.
Vegeta: What the hell was that all about?
Master Roshi: I just accidentally... err... waltzed into Bulma's room when she err... uhh was dressing.
Vegeta: Damnit.. I'm not even going to ask any further. Son Goku, we will settle this later. I'm going to bed and try to forget that I'm living with all you idiots!
Bulma storms into the living room wearing a baggy t-shirt and khaki shorts.
Bulma: What the hell where you doing in my room you perverted old man!
Master Roshi: Don't worry about it Bulma heh heh, it was just an accident.
Bulma: Yea and it will be a accident when I shove my foot up your !
Goku: I uhh...
Vegeta: Just shut the hell up Son Gokou!
Goku: I uhh..
Bulma: What do you have to say you dirty old man!?
: Now let's not get rough here.
Piccolo steps through the front door and enters the living room.
Piccolo: Will anyone inform me about what's going on with all the yelling and cursing?
Vegeta: It's all that damned Kakkarotto's fault!
ChiChi: It was that slut, Bulma's fault!
Bulma: What did you call me!?
ChiChi: You heard me! What do you plan to do about it though?
Goku: Girls Girls.. we all know you didn't mean what you said!
A large sweat bead slides down Goku's head.
Piccolo: Nevermind.. I didn't say anything. I rather not find out anyway.
The episode cuts into later that day. Everyone is outside while Master Roshi is at the grill. Bulma won't make eye contact with ChiChi and vice versa due to what happened earlier today. Piccolo is on the rooftop meditating. Vegeta is watching Goku from a distance with angry eyes. And, as always, Goku is hovering over Master Roshi, salivating over the steaks on the grill. He tries to snatch one but Master Roshi whacks him with his meat prongs.
Goku: Is it done yet?
Master Roshi: No.
Goku: When will it be done?
Master Roshi: In a few minutes.
Goku: How many minutes is that?
Master Roshi starts to get frustrated.
Master Roshi: It.. will.. be.. done.. when.. I.. say.. it's.. done! Got it?
Goku: Yea I get it and all but.. when will it be done?
Out of nowhere, Master Roshi clocks Goku with a shovel.
Master Roshi: That's better (Master Roshi begins whistling happily )
Bulma: Well, I'm going to change and go swimming. Anyone want to join me in a swim?
No one answers her. Obviously everyone is still angry over this morning's "incident." She just drops her arms and makes her way into the house.
Master Roshi: Wait! I just remembered; I have to get some Kame sauce from inside. Who will take over the grill? Vegeta?
Vegeta: No.
Master Roshi: ChiChi?
ChiChi: No.
Master Roshi: Pi...
Piccolo: No.
Master Roshi: Oh no.. Goku's the only one left and he's unconscious... damn. I guess I can leave it only for a few seconds.
Master Roshi excitedly dashes into his house. The exact second Master Roshi is in the house, Goku pops up and grabs the spatula.
Goku: I'll be happy to take over the grill Master Roshi! Hee hee.
No one is paying attention to him. He flips a few burgers and acts casual. The fourth one he flips he catches with his mouth and quickly consumes it. No one notices or cares to pay attention to Goku.
Goku: (talks in a whisper) Hey, any of you guys want a burger?
Goku pauses for a second, waiting for a response, but obviously no one heard his question.
Goku: (talks in a whisper) I guess you don't want them so I'll have them.
Goku quickly consumes all the burgers but one. Goku quickly drops to the ground and pretends to be unconscious. Another loud slap is heard and Master Roshi staggers outside with a red handprint on his face. No one asks what happened because they all know the answer. Master Roshi is about to continue tending to the burgers when he realizes.. there's only one left! Master Roshi angrily turns around looking for Goku, but he only sees Bulma, Vegeta, ChiChi, and Piccolo. Master Roshi looks down to see "unconscious" Goku.
Master Roshi: If it wasn't Goku.. who was it?
Bulma storms out of the house, still angry over what just happened, wearing a two-piece bathing suit. She dives into the water and relaxes while Master Roshi is puzzled over the sudden disappearance of the meat. Goku staggers up and tries to sneak into the house but Master Roshi stops him.
Kamesennin: Did you eat the burgers Goku?
Goku: No.
Master Roshi: I guess that's true with you being unconscious and all.
Goku: Um.. yeah.
Goku was about to slip into the house until Master Roshi asks Goku to turn around. He examines Goku's face.
Kamesennin: What is this? You have grease on your face! You ate those!
Goku: No seriously! I didn't.
Master Roshi: You didn't, eh? Well.. let's just see about that.
Goku: Huh?
Kamesennin: Oh Vegeta.. Goku used your hair-brush.
Vegeta: What!?
Vegeta charges up to Ultra Super Saiya-jin, tackles Goku, and begins pounding away at him.
Vegeta: You know I need that brush more than anyone else! Look at my hair for god sakes! I mean look.. wait... your hair needs it more than me. Look at it! It's filth...
Vegeta helps up Goku.
Vegeta: I'm sorry... use my brush anytime. Feel free to use my special shampoo and conditioner as well. Us messy haired brothers have to stick together..
Everyone pauses and stares and Goku and Vegeta, asking themselves if they really heard what Vegeta said.
Goku: Umm.. thanks Vegeta.. I guess.
Vegeta: No problem. By the way, later I can give you some hair tips.
Master Roshi: Dear god no... this surely is the apocalypse...
Bulma raises her head out of the water and notices Vegeta and Goku shaking hands.
Bulma: Oh... dear... god... What's happening!?
Bulma looks to the sky. Lightning begins flashing and the sun is blocked out by red clouds.
Bulma: The end is drawing near...
Piccolo looks and opens his eyes and notices a strange presence. Vegeta and Goku are facing each other, shaking hands. Piccolo's eyes widen.
Piccolo: No! This is the work of a higher presence.. a demon. I must stop this.
Piccolo gathers energy and quickly fires a barrage of ki blasts at Goku and Vegeta. Smoke surrounds the island and Piccolo watches closely. ChiChi dives into the water to avoid the blasts but Bulma and master Roshi just stare at the fiery explosions with curious eyes. The smoke slowly fades. Piccolo's heart beats faster every second. Bulma and Master Roshi are mesmerized by the event. The smoke fades and what is left is charred ground and a crater. Piccolo sneers and stands proudly. Suddenly a strong presence is sensed.
Piccolo: No!
Vegeta and Goku appear in front of Piccolo with odd expressions on their face. Vegeta and Goku talk eerily in unison. They cock their head to the side at the same time and give a grin.
Vegeta and Goku: What's wrong Piccolo? Are you feeling left out? We have become "Hair Brothers." Too bad you don't have any hair. Hahahahahahahahaha!
Piccolo begins blasting Vegeta and Goku with multiple ki blasts but Vegeta and Goku continue to laugh. Piccolo steps back in fear.
Vegeta and Goku: What are you trying to do Piccolo? What's wrong.. do you need help? Hahahahahahahaha!
Piccolo: No.. no... NOOOOOO!
Master Roshi: Piccoloooo! You must...
Suddenly Vegeta appears in front of Master Roshi and slaps him across the face. Master Roshi flies over to where Bulma is and begins floating on the water after making a splash. Master Roshi weakly tells Bulma something, then he passes out and gets washed up on the shore.
Bulma: Piccolo! You gotta cut off their hair!
Piccolo fires two large beams of energy at Goku and Vegeta's hair. But they quickly dodge the blast and laugh at Piccolo.
Goku and Vegeta: Hahaha! Foolish Piccolo.. oh so foolish ( They cock their head to the right and grin ) Pic.. co.. lo... The "lo" at the end is what your power is.. low.. hahahaha!
Piccolo: Umm.. dude.. that joke was weak.
Master Roshi: But then again, you're out of character.
Piccolo: Ok.. fair enough. Oh by the way Vegeta and Goku.. nice hair
Vegeta and Goku look up and notice a few small pieces of hair fall in front of their faces. Vegeta and Goku release a blood curdling shriek and fall off the roof. Bulma, ChiChi, Piccolo, and Kamesennin both stand over them. They are lying on the sand, unconscious. A few minutes later they awake and stagger up. Gokou and Vegeta stretch and yawn. They stand for a few seconds then they look at each other. Vegeta jumps on Goku and begins choking him to death.
Vegeta: You little bastard! You never and I mean never use my hairbrush ever again! I will kill you! Die you son of a bitch!!
Everybody except Goku and Vegeta begin laughing out loud.
Shortly after that, the episode ends.
Episode 3 - July 3rd, 1999
The Kame House is at peace. Everyone is peacefully sleeping. The sound of sea is like a sweet lullaby. The tiny island with the little house of Kame is filled serenity......
Goku: BREAKFAST TIME!!!
That serenity has just ended.
Goku dashes into the kitchen with a happy smile on his face. He looks for the food yet sees none.
Goku: No..... food?
This concept boggles the simple mind of Goku.
Goku: Ok.. don't panic.. keep calm... keep calm... NO FOOD!!!
Goku has a mental breakdown and becomes helpless as a newborn baby.
Goku: No no.. I can handle this. Now I have to use the umm.. re..fridgurizer...
Goku jumps up and opens the refrigerator.
Goku: Now what do I want?
Goku looks around in the refrigerator. He sees a big gallon of a white liquid. It reads something on the label. Goku attempts to read the label.
Son Gokou: Mii.. Mii.. Mii.. Milk? Wait! That's milk!
Crowd claps and a hand reaches in and places a gold star sticker on Goku's head.
Goku: Milk.. ok, I want cereal so I need milk.
He grabs the milk and places it on a table. He looks in the refrigerator again.
Goku: Now I guess I could use some of this baa.. kon and eggs.
Goku grabs the eggs and bacon and places them in the table. Goku then returns to the refrigerator. He grabs a container filled with ketchup and places it on the table. He then grabs various condiments and drops them on the table.
Goku: Now I need cereal!
Goku charges to the pantry and throws the doors open. He looks around and finally sees a box of "Piccolo-Os" and decides this is the cereal he wants. Goku drops the box on the table.
Goku: Now I need a bowl...
Gokou opens the cabinets but finds no bowls. Goku begins convulsing until he sees a blender in the corner.
Goku: That'll do.
Goku places all the food in the blender and purees it. Then begins drinking it.
Son Goku: Ahhh.. how tasty.. wait.. ohh.. ohh.. my arteries..... so clogged with fat.... and to top it off I really gotta go to the bathroom. Let me see, hold it in or die.... ugh.. ugh..
Goku dashes off into the bathroom. A minute later he walks out of the bathroom and walks into the kitchen, feeling refreshed. He looks around in the kitchen and sees the mess he caused.
Goku: Damn.. I need to clean this mess up.. but how? I got it!
Later that day...
Bulma: What in the hell?
Bulma steps into the kitchen and steps onto a lumpy rug. She trips over a small hill. She tries to stand up but the rug is like a waterbed and she is unable to balance herself.
Bulma: What is a rug doing in here and what is it doing? Goku...
Goku peeks around the corner and sees a furious Bulma. He dashes outside but Bulma is outside waiting for him.
Goku: Uh... wha.. how did you do that!?
Bulma: Nevermind.. now what is going on in the kitchen?
Goku: Uhh... nothing is going on there..
Bulma: I know you did it! I'll just find out what is under the rug.
She walks through the door and heads into the kitchen.
Goku: Umm... I wouldn't do that...
Bulma lifts up the rug and a vile black ooze, a flock of flaming pigeons, a fireball, Vegeta's hair care products, demons from the depths of hell, girl scouts, old videotapes from the archives of DBZ-KZ, a pack of bobcats, a bag of Fritos, a puddle of Goku's drool, a Barbecued Dragon Sub, a pile of sprite cans, a bin filled with failed fanfics, Android 17, a few Jehovas witnesses, Matt Le Blanc, failed FOX sitcoms, old clips from the Conan O'Brien show, a list of ten things wrong with "Atomic Train", Captain Crunch cereal, DBZ eyedroppers, the new DBZ dubbed episodes, Raditz, Vegeta's clown outfit from Earth Fried Dragon, and Vinny Mack's comp all emerge from under the rug and swarm on Bulma.
Goku: Uhhh... Raditz? I thought you were dead.
Bulma: Ya what gives?
Raditz: Hmmm... good point.
Raditz crawls bacj under the rug and disappears.
Goku pulls out a ghostbuster suit, slips it on, and destroys the vile creatures.
Goku: Whew..
Bulma: Umm.. I uhh. Thanks.. wait! You still did that so I shouldn't be giving my thanks!
Goku: Ok. Well, I got rid of the mess!
Bulma raises a finger in protest but decides to just give up. She sighs and leaves the kitchen.
Goku: That was easier than I thought.
Later that day again...
Master Roshi sits on the couch in front of his TV. He reaches over and picks the telephone off his coffee table and begins dialing.
Master Roshi: Yes I would like to order Stephanie's Wild Party 2. Ok, that'll be 5 bucks right? Good.
Master Roshi hangs up the phone and turns on the TV. He changes the channel to the Pay-Per-View channel as the logo "Stephanie's Wild Party 2" appears on the screen being accompanied by a Saxophone. A minute later, Master Roshi's eyes are glued to the screen. Suddenly Piccolo dashes through the door.
Piccolo: Give me the remote! My favorite show is on!
Master Roshi was too busy lusting over the women on the television he didn't hear Piccolo's demand. Piccolo frantically tries to figure out what to do. As a last resort, he drops to his knees and begs.
Piccolo: Master Roshi I beg of you! The Political Power Fighters just started! I'm going to miss it!
Master Roshi, still focused on the television, does not hear Piccolo's pleas.
Piccolo: That's it you old fool!
Piccolo dashes into Master Rhoshi's room, a minute later he drags a trunk into the living room. He opens it to reveal Master Rhoshi's collection of dirty magazines. Piccolo picks up one and dangles it in front of Master Rhoshi's face, finally catching his attention.
Master Rhoshi: Bonzai Babes issue #48...... what are you doing with it!?
Piccolo: Give me the remote or it becomes ash!
Master Rhoshi: NOOO! Please don't!
Piccolo: Give me the remote within ten seconds or it goes up in flames!
Master Roshi: I.. I...
Master Roshi
looks at the issue then back at the TV. Trying to decide which is more important.
Piccolo: ...time's up.
Piccolo, with one quick swipe from his hand, reduces Master Roshi's treasured "Bonzai Babes Issue #48" to burning ash. He laughs sinisterly.
Piccolo: Now.. if you do not comply with my request... the rest of your filthy magazines will become dust.
Master Roshi: You insolent fool!
Suddenly a large aura surrounds Master Roshi. Piccolo mouth drops as he feels Master Roshi's incredible power. Piccolo steps back and watches in amazement as Master Roshi gathers large amounts of ki.
Master Roshi: That...
Master Roshi cups his hands.
Master Roshi: Was...
Master Roshi moves his hands to his side.
Master Roshi: My...
He then moves his body so that his shoulders face Piccolo.
Master Roshi: Favorite...
Master Roshi hunches over and grits his teeth. The furniture lifts off the ground due to Master Roshi's massive power. The walls begin cracking and peices of the floor quickly crumble and hovers into the air. The roof lifts off the small house and rises into the air until it catches fire and turns to ash. The wall crumble and collapse showing Goku eating a large turkey, Vegeta playing a GameBoy, ChiChi sadly drinking one glass of wine after another, and Bulma standing where the bathroom was with nothing but a towl on just after she took a shower.
Master Roshi: Issue!!!
Master Roshi throws his hands forward, about to unleash a devastating a blast that would easily eradicate Piccolo until he notices Bulma standing in a towl only a few feet away from him. Master Roshi's mouth drops and his nose begins to bleed.
Shortly after that, the episode ends.
Episode 4 - July 5th, 1999
The camera pans around Master Roshi's house and the tiny island it resides on. Strangely enough, the house is completely intact. The camera goes inside and it shows a line forming outside the bathroom. Bulma is in front of the line followed by Piccolo, Vegeta, ChiChi, and Master Roshi.
Bulma: Hurry the hell up Goku!
Vegeta: Yea Kakkarot! What the hell is taking you so long!
Bulma: I need to take a shower Goku! Don't you have any respect for others' needs?
Piccolo: Err... err... Get out of there Goku! I'm about to burst! Ugh.. err...
Goku: ( From inside the bathroom ) Wait your turn guys!
ChiChi: I'm going to tear you apart Goku if you don't get out of there in 10 seconds!
Goku: ( From inside the bathroom ) Uh-oh...
Goku dashes out of the bathroom while pulling up his pants. Bulma walks in and suddenly her face turns pale.
Bulma: Ugh!
Bulma starts gagging and she pinches her nose.
Bulma: Dear God Goku! ( She gags ) What did you eat?
Goku: When? In the last five minutes?
Bulma: Nevermind.. I'll hit that vent switch.
She flicks the ventilation switch and shuts the door.
Piccolo: Damnit! I gotta go!
Vegeta: Piccolo.. I don't even think Nameks "go."
Piccolo: Of course we do! And I really really gotta go!
Piccolo stuffs his hands between his legs and begins squirming.
Master Roshi: Umm.. exactly how do Nameks "go?"
Piccolo: Well.. it's rude to ask but I guess I can tell you. You see, we...
Suddenly Bulma opens the door and walks out in a towel. Quickly Piccolo dashes in and slams the door shut.
Master Roshi: We almost solved a world mystery.
ChiChi: And what was that?
Master Roshi: Umm.. I forgot already..
Toilet flushes and Piccolo walks out with a expression of relief on his face. ChiChi then steps into the bathroom and shuts the door, but she forgets to lock it. This becomes obvious to Master Roshi quite quickly. He then hears the shower running.
Master Roshi: Hmm.. this is a tough decision. Step in there and see something I have never seen before and possibly chance of getting the living pulp beat out of me?
Just then, the doorbell rings.
Master Roshi: That's strange...
Master Roshi walks to the front door and opens it.
Master Roshi: What are you doing here??
The camera turns to see Emperor Pilaf standing at the front door.
Pilaf: I'm the seventh member for this show.
Master Roshi: Oh God...
Later that day...
Pilaf: Get me a drink Bulma dear...
Bulma: Get it yourself you little blue runt!
Pilaf: That's it! Guards, seize her!
Pilaf points at Bulma and waits a few seconds.
Bulma: You little dwarf, your guards aren't here! They can't do anything.
Pilaf: Why aren't they here!?
Master Roshi: They weren't allowed.
Pilaf: Well.. I can take care of this situation myself!
Pilaf gets off the couch and heads over to Bulma. He looks at her deep in the eyes and makes a mean face. A minute later, he walks into the kitchen and gets himself a glass filled with water.
Bulma: Haha! That's how you do it.. you get your own dri...
Bulma couldn't finish her sentence because Pilaf threw the water in her face.
Bulma: You little blue runt! I'll murder you!
Bulma kicks Pilaf into the wall and storms off to her room. As always, Master Roshi follows shortly after.
Pilaf: I can't be treated that way! Super Mecha Bot! Come here!
Suddenly rocket engines are hear outside followed by a loud splash. Vegeta, Goku, and ChiChi come out of their rooms.
Vegeta: What the hell was that?
Pilaf leads them outside to show them what the commotion was about. With a huge smile, he introduces them to Super Mecha Bot, a 50 ft robot warrior standing in the middle of the ocean.
Master Roshi: Was that really necessary Pilaf?
Pilaf: I will not be pushed around by some woman!
A large beam of light shoots out of the robot's mouth and shines on Pilaf. He slowly hovers off the ground and begins rising to the robot. He enters through the mouth and appears in the head of the giant Super Mecha Bot.
Pilaf: ( On the robot's speaker system ) Super Mecha Bot Hooooooooooo!!
The bot does a few poses, spins around, and raises his hand. Lightning crashes and suddenly a large sword flies to his hand. He does a pose with the sword and a bright light flashes. Oriental music is heard and rose blossom petals begin falling around him.
Piccolo: Pilaf, your getting annoying.
Vegeta: I agree...
Vegeta raises a hand and fires a ki blast that knocks Super Mecha Bot's sword out from his hand. Suddenly Super Mecha Bot panics and then he drops to his knees and begs for mercy.
Vegeta: How much money did you spend on this abomination?
Pilaf: ( On the robot's speaker system ) Nothing. It just costed 200,000 proofs of purchases from the back of "Political Power Fighters" action figures' boxes.
Piccolo: Wow! Do you have Renegade Republican with flag-burning action and his Hippie-Izer Super Rifle ?!
They all turn and stare at Piccolo.
Piccolo: I mean.... uhh.. kill the insolent fool!
Everyone but Pilaf cheers.
ChiChi: If we kill him.. we will be thrown off the show.
Everyone sighs but Pilaf, he cheers.
Vegeta: I'll just crush some of his organs.. not much.
Pilaf: ( On the robot's speaker system ) No No! Please!
Vegeta flies up and slaps the head of the robot, causing it to spin around at least 100 times. Vegeta then dashes down and sweeps the legs of the robot, causing it to fall on it's back. After a few minutes, Pilaf staggers out of the head of the robot, obviously dizzy. He walks down the chest of the robot to it's foot, where he hops off and collapses on the shore.
Vegeta: That was a bit too easy, I'm bored and my violent urges haven't been satisfied. Let's punt him like a football!
Everybody cheers except for the unconscious Pilaf.
Episode 5 - July 6th, 1999
Creak* Creak* Creak*. That's all that was heard all night. By midnight, Vegeta and Goku became worried. Bulma was not sleeping with Vegeta and ChiChi was not sleeping with Goku. Goku and Vegeta had to figure out what was going on. Vegeta and Goku dashed into the living room, and they saw each other.
Goku: Vegeta!?
Vegeta: Where's Bulma!?
Goku: ( in a whisper ) Try to keep quiet...
Vegeta: ( in a whisper ) Where is Bulma Kakkarot?
Goku: ( in a whisper) I don't know..
Vegeta: Don't play dumb with me Kakkarot!
Vegeta grabs Goku by the throat.
Vegeta: Then where is she!?
Goku breaks free of his grasp.
Goku: Geez Vegeta... I seriously don't know. I don't know where ChiChi is either.
Vegeta: ChiChi's gone too?
Suddenly they hear *creak *creak *creak once again. Vegeta make their way to the sound. They walk down a dark hallway until they reach a door where the source of the creaking is coming from.
Goku: Wait a minute... why would Bulma and ChiChi be gone?
Vegeta: Wait... do you think they could be?
Goku: No! ChiChi can't be a les..
Vegeta: Don't jump to conclusions Kakkarot! There's got to be a rational explanation for this..
Goku: What!? Vegeta being rational!?
Cue dramatic music
Vegeta: Well I know one way to figure out what's going on!
Vegeta busts the door open and sees a image that shocks him.
Vegeta: Bulma!
Goku: ChiChi!
Bulma: It's not what you think!
ChiChi: Yea! We weren't...
Suddenly Master Roshi pops out from under the covers.
Master Roshi: Yea, they weren't doing anything!
Bulma: Smart move old man!
Master Roshi: Well, this old man still has some moves, and you know it!
Vegeta: What!?
Goku: Don't worry Vegeta.. they weren't doing anything, Bulma and ChiChi said so.
Vegeta: Just shut up Kakkarot! You idiot! Well anyway... Master Roshi you old fool! You'll regret the day you were born!
Master Roshi: No I didn't do anything Vegeta! Seriously! It was.. uh.. uh...
Master Roshi reaches under the blanket and pulls out Pilaf.
Master Roshi: Pilaf!
Everyone gasps, then dramatic music plays, followed by a crash of lightning.
Vegeta: I'll kill you! You little blue runt!
Pilaf: I didn't do anything!
Goku: Umm... yes you did! I'm going to blow you up!
Pilaf: Seriously Goku! It wasn't me! It was.. umm.. um..
Pilaf reaches under the covers and pulls out Piccolo.
Pilaf: Piccolo!
Everyone gasps, dramatic music plays again ( You know, the "Dum Dum Duuuuuum!!" ) and the sound lightning crashing shortly follows.
Vegeta: Piccolo.. even though I don't know how you can be participating in this since you are.. well.. you know, but you will pay!!
Goku: Yea.. umm.. I'm gonna hurt you!
Piccolo: This is all a misunderstanding.. I didn't do it... it was..
Piccolo reaches under the covers and looks around for a bit.
Piccolo: Isn't there anymore people hiding under there?
Piccolo pulls out raditz
Goku: Radditz again?1
Bulma : You're determined to get on this show arent you.
Raditz : You cant blame me.
ChiChi: That still doesnt mean you get to be on the show.
Raditz: Fine fine, i'll go i'm leaving.
Raditz dissappears under the covers again.
Piccolo: Well it was... err.. uhh..
Goku: It was you!
Piccolo: No no no Goku! It was.. it was... Vegeta!
Vegeta: What!?
Goku: You son of a...
Goku tackles Vegeta and begins slamming his head into the ground repeatedly.
Vegeta: You idiot Kakkarot! I didn't do it!
Goku: You sure...
Vegeta: Yes!!!
Goku: Ok.. what didn't you do?
Vegeta: Ergh!
Vegeta throws off Goku.
Vegeta: That's it! All of you! I don't care if you did it or not! Your going down!!
Bulma and ChiChi grab pillows to conceal themselves and dash out of the room.
Pilaf: Can't we talk about this!?
Vegeta then fires a barage of ki blasts that destroy the bed and burn Master Roshi, Pilaf, and Piccolo to a crisp.
Master Roshi: Ugh...
Shortly after, the episode ends...
Note: Due to the extreme violent acts of the cast members, MTV couldn't continue this show because the cast members lives were threatened. So it ended prematurely.