It was 10:10 a.m. and 69 degrees when I returned to Deep River Waterpark today and it's time to tune up. I can not believe it is already July boy does time Fly which is why you need to get out to Deep River Waterpark today before summer passes you by. This would only be my 19th time this season at Deep River Waterpark and it started off with the yellow bowl slide and never in my entire history have I had such a terrible ride I absolutely positively hated it. Prior to this the worst water slide ride I had ever been on was the Tennessee Twister. I don't usually go far from Deep River Waterpark but I have been to a waterpark in Tennessee and in that time we wish to forget when Deep River Waterpark needed to clean up which it has done I was based out of Joliet's Splash Station and I have ridden all the rides there. In fact when I was young before waterparks were so popular there were slides that had just some water in them and like in a field and you could ride on them and those were better then this ride. I spun around the bowl very very slowly maybe 3 or 4 times. I may have even came to a complete stop I just wanted to get through that hole with the non moving it was terrible. My consolation prize at leat I got to see the "Eye-Popping Kim" who was only good not great and she was on the never moving island and I didn't even want to go that way but ended up over there.

After this disaster I had to go find a thrill ride and that was the dragon and in the 10 o'clock hour I rode it 10x in a row going on whichever slide did not have a line and that was the 10'oclock show which ran into the 11 o'clock show and during that hour I went up and down 11x and in total rode the dragon 21 times in a row making the stair count 2,048 and it was not even noon yet. If today was the 4th of July the timing would be very good but today just have to know what I can do and it would take 43 times on the dragon to reach 4,000 stairs that would be 4,042 maybe I'll do that. It takes 63 times on the storm rides and that would either be the cyclone or the abyss. Next I went over to each storm ride and rode it once and up to 2,240 the stair count went.

I then took "The Hike" to the Action river and around I went and she just moved a few spots but right where I was going to the red bowl slide was the "Eye-Popping Kim" how nice for me on a scale of 1-10 10 being happiest she was a nine the lowest I have ever heard her say was an 8. In my book she is a perfect 10 and I very rarely go with perfect on anything. Now I don't know if you are familiar with The Soup Nazi from the show Seinfeld. There was this character who controlled if you got soup or not and he would yell out "NEXT!" what he did was so animated you would not believe that this is how someone would act. Well on this red bowl slide we meet "The Slide Nazi" I have written that Slide Attendants make me SAD but there are a few good ones. Most are extremely slow and in there effort to go even slower some require you to wait on the 1st stair not on the landing and on the first stair their is a railing which unless you are very tall you can not see over so you have no idea whats going on. This girl would simply yell very loud "NEXT!" I don't know if she was imitating the soup Nazi on purpose or not. At one point people were not on the 1st step just on the landing she got out of the slide area which had people ready to go to make the line move slower and yelled at everyone going 2 flights down to "BACK UP!" I mean people not even close to the ride. The ride itself was better than the yellow the waiting in line and the slide attendant on duty made it absolutely miserable to wait for

Next I went back to the dragon and there is this gal who is shorter but boy is she loud but at least she is friendly as doing thing although I really hate being called Sir. I could not shake her all day she was at the dragon still and I went on that 3 timess making the stair count 2,596 and I can't believe it but I actually lost my breath the 3rd time down so I had to go do something easier so I went to the storm where it was abyss and at the end it was just abyss since it had no line and that gal from the dragon was there now and each time she had to call me sir in the end I rode the storm 7 times in a row and that made the stair count 3,044

I then "took the hike" over to the new part and the lines were to long for me to go on the bowl slides and what was I thinking and what time is it and nature calls so must say these new restrooms are very nice and clean. I still don't understand why there are no mirrors. I looked at the lines and then thought I will just go around that action river and see how I feel and back on the island was the "Eye-Popping Kim" who I got to prove I really can not hear that well I mean I failed the hearing test when I was in 5th grade and then every single time I had to take it again. This would have been the time to ask her to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with me opening July 15, 2005 in theateres everywhere because I wouldn't knwo what she said anyway. With 3 times around the river where is Megan to count this for me? I did find out that her favorite ice cream is moose tracks with carmel and I told her I will bring her a nestle crucnch bar with carmel so she can try it. It is my favorite candy. Of course i can't do that on a hot day because it will melt. You may have picked up a pattern that the day is best when I see her and I like to end the day on a good note so it is rare but the action river was "The LAST RIDE" and with a smile on my face I left the park at 2:07 p.m. the temperature was 74 degrees.

I am now watching my sister Kim's turtle named Raquel until her new home is finished being built. I don't actually have any pets of my own so this is something different. The stair count 3,044 for the day and 43,358 for the year leaving 56,642 left to climb this season. This 4th of July weekend why not come out to Deep River Waterpark and have a splashtastic time. I'll see you there.

There is the DAY and then there is the day before the day. Today was the day before the day and often on July 3 I simply rest so that I can prepare to climb 4,000 stairs on the 4th of July will my record become 4-2 or will I go down in defeat and make it 3 and 3 in the 6 years? Today it was 10:56 a.m. and 77 degrees when I returned and already quite a crowd was on hand. Tomorrow I will be at the park at 10 a.m. which is when it will open. Today I started off with the abyss and that water was a bit cold. It was then over to the dragon where I went on that a total of 5 times in a row on whichever line was the shortest. Will it be 43x tomorrow maybe. The stair count went to 534 and then I went to the storm.

I went on the abyss 3x in a row and the slide attendant at the cyclone wanted me to go on his slide but his line was so long and I am used to getting in the water and getting back up the stairs and going again. The stair count at 726 I then went to the dragon and rode it 3x in a row this time just the straight slide because it was available. The stair count went to 1,008 and another victory was mine. For "The LAST RIDE" I would go to the line in the cyclone which was already to the bottom but I only got to the second flight of stairs before I saw the guy go down so I tried to let him have "The LAST RIDE" but it did not work that way.

It was 12:59 and 84 degrees when I left. The stair count today 1,072 and makes 44,430 for the year leaving 55,570 left to climb to reach the 100,000 stair goal. Your host returns tomorrow at 10:00 a.m. to play for the 6th time 4,000 stairs on the 4th of July. Will the crowds of you manage to defeat me. Will the weather with 40% chance of rain or will it just be to hot or will victory be mine it all happens tomorow and hopefully I get to see "The Eye-Popping Kim" tomorrow because that would make it the best 4th of July ever. To make your 4th of July the best ever visit Deep River Waterpark have a parade to attend just go to the front and have your hand stamped and you can reenter later. There is no place better to celebrate America's Independence than at Indiana's Premiere Waterpark Deep River Waterpark of course. I'll see you there.

It was the best 4th of July ever and by that can you tell that today I got to see the "Eye-Popping Kim?" Today it was 9:51 and 81 degrees when I returned to play for the 6th time 4,000 stairs on the 4th of July. My past record 3 wins 2 defeats. I started the day at the dragon first I went on the curved slide followed by the straight slide and that lasted 10x. I then had to go on the line that was the shortest and today that would often be the curved one which even scared your host Mark T. I was ready to shut it down myself as I was laying back and just after that tunnel I every time went flying in the air I am pretty sure that isn't right. I would need the dragon today though.

After 23x which is 2,162 stairs and it was only slightly after 11 I got a new slide attendent who took times number 24-31 and then I feel I should have a card that I can just wave and get a different slide attendant because I would have waved the card now this girl I have no idea why she is so angry all the time I mean one day she had a nice white bow in her hair she should be happy. She got times 32 and 33. The line then was to long so the outlet was at the storm by noon I had climbed 3,102 stairs and gone down the dragon 33x in a row. Wow that is like doing "THe SHOW" 3x in a row.

The outlet at the storm was the abyss and the cyclone and I rode the abyss 4x and the cyclone 2x but not in that order and can you believe it one of my coworkers spotted me as she was waiting in line for the cyclone and we work all the way in Elmhurst Illinois. Of course we are both blind without our glasses but that is amazing and more amazing to me was to see Maureen ride down the curved dragon of course if I was around her when I was near the "Eye-Popping" Kim I am sure she would have happily at least asked her to go to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory opening on Friday July 15, 2005. I don't think I can though even though I want too.

Now natured called and on my way to the rest rooms I saw Rob waving a drill in his hand that made me a little nervous. I mean I have 3 fears asking a girl out, dogs, and telephones but I certainly am not comfortable with power tools and there are some stories that leave people more comfortable if I do not get involved with tools. For example, I got rid of all my wire coat hangers because I cut myself with them and not on purpose. Now only plastic hangers for me. Lets see the brother of the girl I like with a drill in his hand what do you want to know yes I could be a contestant on Ashton Kutcher's Beauty and the Geek except I do have my own home and I coown a condo with my sister and I coown 2 cars with her and have my own. However the caption would read never been kissed. I wonder since Rob seems handy could he put in a a garage door and opener for me. It needs a bit of work since my home isn't standard. I know there has to be a 2x4 installed for the top and it is low hung but a 9x4 will work. If not that I have a fence that needs replacing in the fall of course I say that every year.

Now if you pay attention I have a sun tolerance problem and while I am at the waterpark alot I often am there around 2 hours or so can push it later on the Tuesday nights since the sun goes low. It was after noon so time to apply more SPF 70 Sunscreen Hawaiaan Tropic. It is the highest I have seen despited those Bud Lite commericials about the 80 SPF sunscreen wearer. Have you heard these on the radio if not here is how it goes. It is important to wear sunscreen.

Today we salute you
Mr. 80 SPF Sunblock Wearer
(mr. 80 SPF sunblock wearer)
There are 24 hours in a day
You're wearing 80 hour protection
If the sun fails to go down...
You'll be ready.
(don't forget the moonlight)

Your coconut-scented force field
blocks out all the sun's rays
and any stray rays
from another sun
in another galaxy.
(you're a star)

30 SPF?
Please...
you might as well be wearing cooking oil
(something smells delicious)

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light
Mr. 80 SPF Sunblock Wearer
In fact, feel free to crack one open at high noon
In the middle of the Sahara Desert
(mr. 80 SPF sunblock wearer)

It was 3 times around the river on Friday night after Hebron fest it was Highland Fest and last night my sister came to get me to go to the Culvers which opened last Monday in Scherrerville Indiana and I am from the tri town area but I am on this weight loss program so I am trying to avoid eating ice cream but my sister did not care of course the best ice cream is at Oberweise Dairy and there is one in Highland right off of Indianapolis Boulvard. I could feel the sun burning me especially felt pain on my face so took all the energy and what would be the last ride well the dragon was my friend today so only fitting it would be "The LAST RIDE" and up I went and down the curve slide I went and with that the record changed to 4-2 and it was 4,084 stairs climbed today. It makes 48,514 for the year leaving 51,486 to reach the 100,000 stair goal. Will the half way point be reached this week? Tomorrow its Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop Tubing Toooooooooooooosday and I am making sure that I will have purple tootsie pops with me. It was 2:37 p.m. and 89 degrees when I left the park. I don't think there can be a Tuesday better than last but you never know. Remember Deep River Waterpark is open late until 9:30 p.m. on Tuesday and it is the cheapest way to see the park because at 6:00 I believe the admission is only $7.00 so come on out. I'll see you there.

July 4, 2006 falls on a Tuesday and hopefully it will be the second time in history that it is a Tubin Tuesday on the 4th of July. As you may have read yesterday I climbed 4,084 stairs and I was soon to find that took something out of me. It was 4:30 and 81 degrees when I returned to Deep River Waterpark and today I would start at the dragon where much to my dismay I would lose my breath. I have developed this problem riding the curved slide that I fly several inches in the air off the slide and then land flat on my back it scares even me it came to light yesterday and I am trying to correct it but have not been successful. After this I went to the storm and rode the abyss and slide attendants are often slow but put 2 on 3 slides and I have arrived in a disaster area. Where is my card Mike I need you to move these slide rides

Yesterday I had the A game today maybe the C game so I took "the hike" and went around the river and there was Megan I have not seen her forever ok not once this month until now and remember how I would see here ever day and she was working every day until the 25th and around the river I would go and it was not a pleasant ride my right pinky got smashed in the rocks I got cut on the leg but I did get to see "The Eye-Popping Kim" and I was only fair today but after 3 times around and seeing her then I was willing to upgrade to good. It was a Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop Tubin Toooooooooosday and today I made sure I had plenty of purple on hand hey I was also prepared with the chocolate. I did have to leave the river and then come back see Megan didn't even have to ask I know she liked cherry but she always gets mad at me. I have no nick name for her but she wants one and she seemed angry because blue is for number one. I actually in this bag had one blue tootsie pop and I would bring it to her if she wanted me too.

Yesterday in the rain I got this Nestle crunch carmel bar for the "Eye-Popping Kim" and I thought it would be hotter today so I did not bring it with me so it is in my refigerator not much else in there. I will try and bring it to her tomorrow my sister will make sure I leave work on time but after that its traffic and weather I must battle but hopefully it will happen. Around the river I would continue to go until I saw that it was time for Megan to go see how I got out then? Now Megan and the "Eye-Popping Kim" were going to lunch at the Panera bread and if I would just wait she would be there. This upsets the world of make believe I always list my 3 fears asking a girl out, dogs, and telephones. I manage to talk to people who first talk to me because I'll talk about anything but I know that within seconds I'll be gone and I can go anywhere I want and no one is following me. I certainly do not wait around for people but Megan insisted that I was waiting with her. I met several people this way Bill who had a nice butt according to Megan not that I am gay although some people think that and on Saturday night I was out with my sister shopping for a dress, which I then had to hold along with her purse while rushing through the mall looking for shoes. Ok I felt really emasculated and I am not even married.

I met Zack he had some really bright white teeth even I was envious of that and another Megan apparently Megan does not speak in the 3rd person like Mark T. Ok are you confused throughly now. I always enjoy having someone to take "the hike" with. It is the only time at the park when I actually feel lonely these days and with no one it seems so long. I have Megan on a mission which if successful she will be better than the best. If you read this site I bet you can guess what it is. Lets just say when I was a child I used to have nightmares about Ooompa Loompas so add a dog and a telephone call and I think will have every fear together at once.

Well Megan had to go she was going with "The Eye-Popping Kim" to the Panera bread I would have picked up there tab very happily. You know Megan has never met either of my sisters or my nephew. It is very hard to produce them all at the same time but it has happened I don't think this year though maybe later. My sister is enjoying her wind up duck. She was off today and I enjoyed it waddling around the desk. It is a lot of fun. Ask anything you want and I'll tell you anything you want to know about Mark T except why the T is pronounced in my name other than that I think I have a very public life.

As I was leaving the river there was Lindsey IV I thought she died in a skiing accident. It was like the 3rd time I have seen her all year. I went on the abyss 3x and then natured called but I love that mirror you know I have such beautiful hair. The Lindsey's were coming out of the woodwork today when there was Lindsey III at the Dragon which meant I could add "The Effect" which scares many people but not me. I have no fear of the straight dragon slide. I rode the curved one 1 time and the straight 5x and the stair count went to 914 and I did not know how much energy was left in me. The line was long so I went to the storm where the abyss and cyclone would be my friends today.

I was entertained by Kevin at the abyss and that girl umm her name starts with an S apparently I know it I always admit I am not good with names. Kevin did not know her name either so there love relationship which kept me entertained broke up before I was done. Ok so 2 of us don't know her name she is to happy she should think unpleasant thoughts starts with S as I continued up and down these stairs thinking I should stop because I am getting worn out here I could not figure out her name and then Matt came up to the cyclone where she was and he did not know her name either. Ok that makes 3. This is like me with "The church girl" I named her my 2004 Valentine yet I don't know here name and I doubt I ever will. Ok according to the records starts with an S has all the vowels we go with your name should be Stephanie thats my guess who wants to write if I am right or wrong in2deep@xvi.net. Since the other day I tried to give Matt the "LAST RIDE" and failed he would get it today actually he got the final 2. I mean most people know the cyclone is my favorite storm ride.

At the end the stair count 1,746 and made 50,260 for the year passing the half way poing and leaving a mere 49,740 to go. Last year on July 5 I had climbed 42,260 stairs so at least ahead of that pace. Mark T. is half way there. 4th of July is the start of summer so why not start off your summer fun by visiting Deep River Waterpark today. You'll have a splashtastic time. I return tomorrow? depending on weather, traffic and if there is anything left in the tank. I'm working this Wednesday so don't get to play "Let's Pretend The Day Didn't End" but it should be coming next week on July 12 and then the 13th lets hope it works that way since the week after that I got human resource duty and won't get to play again. If I do show I'll still be jealous of Zack's teeth but hopefully I will see "The Eye-Popping" Kim (anyday that I just get to see her becomes a great day) and deliver this Nestle cruch carmel candy bar would you believe it is my favorite and I usually am an M & M mars person. Well for tonight that is all she wrote. Come on out to Deep River Waterpark right now if it is between the hours of 10 a.m. and 6:00 p.m. I'll see you there.

Many people know that I wear my emotions on my sleeve or in this case you can see it in the shorts. Normally I stick with the bright colors the orange and red are in this year. I was known for some "trademark" yellow and then when I am sad the blue shorts come out because they reflect my mood. It is often written that I am a "sad lonely guy simply waiting to die" and that is not a bit I do that happens to be the truth. I suffer from many depressions I mean I dislike Christmas immensely. There are time from the park closing on Labor Day to the Breeder Cup at the end of October is Mark T going to New York this year. I have been to the last 3 Breeders Cups in Arlington Illinois, Arcadia California and last year in Grand Prarie Texas. This year at Belmont Park in New York I have my ticket request in and by the end of the season I will know. Then there is from there until can I make it to my favorite holiday of them all St. Valentine's Day . Then the Kentucky Derby the 1st Saturday in May I have been at everyone of them since 1997 and was there in 1995 missed 1996 when running for Lake County Recorder. Then there is until the park opens.

In the summer I use Deep River Waterpark to keep me from becoming depressed and normally that is the cure for the summertime blues. However there are times that I can not shake things. Today I would try it was 4:19 p.m. when I arrived and 77 degrees and at the Season pass gate there wasn't a soul to greet me. Now I probably could have reached right over and scanned it myself. Instead I had to make someone get up from a comfortable chair and walk aways just to scan this pass. I felt bad about that. I started the day at the storm on the abyss and then went on the cyclone 2x in a row same slide attendant as last night I guess her name is Stephanie she was very happy with smile on face but not even that could cheer me up. Only one person who might be able to do that today probably.

Now arriving at 4:19 I haven't long to play so time to do "The SHOW" and on the 4th of July I developed this problem riding the curved dragon slide where right at the end of the curve like 2 inches I go and then wham fall back on my back. I don't know why this is happening. I am working to fix this. I went on it 1st and could not alleviate the problem. I then went on the steep slide 8x in a row and often no line at all just get up and go boy that is a rush. I completed "The SHOW" with a time on the curved slide and still the same problem. The stair count 1,132 for the day and with that it would be good enough so I began to take the "hike" and I ran into Rachel, Lindsey whose name I did not know and a new lifeguard named Chris he could be the male rookie lifeguard of the year who knows. Oh I bet you know who is the favorite to win the female rookie lifeguard of the year award. The best race in maintenace though will it be Joe so kind and friendly. Chris my appointed camera man? On Saturday night I have to take some pics of my sister in this red dress and then I will deliver the camera but I need those pictures. He is always digging something or other. Or will it be Rob who I felt so bad about not knowing his name and then please put away the drill. Plus I just adore his sister. That is a tough race and so is the female lifeguard of the year I sure miss Rebecca who is not back to defend her crown. Will it be last years rookie of the year Rachel? Will it be Megan perhaps a Lindsey or someone else?

If I were choosing today I would pick Mike as my male lifeguard of the year even though he as only been in the sand a few times. Well I got Rachel a chocolate tootsie pop because that is what she likes. Then as I went back on the hike I heard the song 1 is the lonliest number and a tear nearly rolled down my eye and daddy always said grown men don't cry or have any emotion for that matter. I doubt I could of made it to the action river without welling up. It is awful when this happens. I decide best not to go that way may as well even the number out anyway and Rachel and Lindsey were stacking tubes there and I rode the cyclone once and then well doesn't everyone know my problem with delivery? I told the "Eye-Popping Kim" that I would bring her a nestle crunch with carmel bar and I nearly forgot it on my way out of the house but I remembered and I would guess the spot she is always in lately at the action river but I am certainly not going to see her trying to hold back tears. I therefore asked Rachel who is a cheerleader wow can you believe that which is why she was not working on the 4th of July if she would be kind enought to deliver this for me. She said she would now doesn't that get her some votes. I mean my attorney advises learn your lesson have someone else deliver and then if things go bad don't be associated with it.

There has been "The Trouble With Trisha" when I brought her a beanie baby squirrel with a card that said I'm nuts about you and then the sheriff of Deep River Waterpark told me if I ever spoke to her again I would be arrested right there on the spot which my lawyer wanted to see. She came back the next season and just kept talking to me. Then there was Erin who I didn't even like and just got her some sandals because I hated those pink ones and they disturbed me she kept them but got me near the wave pool to tell me how horrible a person I am. The event that had fuel to "Our Very Public Feud" when I sent the Lovely Christina some best Buy gift cards worth $250 and she told me thanks she would be sending them back and to this day my sister is waiting for those back. Of course what sparked "Our Very Public Feud" was when I offfered the lovely Christina $10,000 in cash for her Mazda miata so my sister could have it and she would not sell it. Then there was the Kristen Contingent and with her I some how agreed that my sister and I would meet her at the bowling alley near my home and we got stood up although thank goodness she called a guy afraid of phones and on the loud speaker they announced that I had a telephone call

Then most recently the sisters went 2 thumbs up on the "Ever So Delightful Dana" and since she asked me for a birthday present I got her 2 tickets to see Jerry Seinfeld take anyone you want I don't care. She had the security at Target throw me out of the store and threaten to arrest me should I ever shop there again. I 've been banned from the Office Max in Hobart, The Target in Highland and my sister has been banned from the Strack and Van Til in Merrillville good group right. Well at least that got the tickets back and my older sister and I got to see Jerry Seinfeld at the Radisson. Therefore bad things happen when I give people things so I thought this was for the best.

I then had the "LAST RIDE" of the cyclone stair count 1,260. Making 51,520 for the year and leaving 48,480 left to go. I did not see the "Eye-Popping Kim" all day so no cheering up and tonight my nephew tried but then fell asleep on me. Hopefully I'll shake this although sometimes one doesn't know what to do. However I do know how to cure what ails you and that is by going to Indiana's Premiere Waterpark Deep River Waterpark of course right now if it is between the hours of 10 a.m. and 6:00 p.m. Your host returns tomorrw? maybe not I have been at the park 5 days in a row and tomorrow night at my home in one place it will actually be both my sisters and Mark T. along with my nephew Matthew T maybe I'll take a picture. Probably the weekend will be when I get back but who knows. I do know planning for the July 12 and 13th night and then day and don't you think that on July 13 I should open the 2005 edition of Gabbin With Guards, Slide Attendants, Maintenace Personnel and other folks? E-mail Mark T with who you want to win but you got to see the competition so go to Deep River Waterpark. I'll see you there.

There are some things so crazy I would not believe them unless they happened to me. You may have read that I had to remove all the wire hangers in my home since I cut myself hanging up a shirt. I have been to a dentist who told me I had a cavity and need to get it filled and when I went in for the filling my mouth was numbed and they could not find the cavity because there was none there. I have never found anyone else that this happened too. This morning in the 4 a.m. hour yes there is a 4 a.m. and Monday-Friday I wake up at 4:18 a.m I was picking up a towel and ended up hitting my head on my front loading washer door which happened to be open. The impact knocked me out and blinded me temporarily in this left eye for who knows how long I wondered if I would see again. Visions of the "Eye-Popping Kim" came. Boy this brings a new meaing to the "Eye-Popping Adjective" Now at least I can see and that makes me happy although I do have some scratches above my eye now that you may see. I would not believe that could have happened but it did this morning before my sister came over to ride into work with me. Lucky I wasn't still unconscious then.

Now you may have read your host has been depressed lately but that certainly managed to cheer me up I can see and so this afternoon that led me to the place I most like to see Indiana's Premiere Waterpark Deep River Waterpark of course. This is only the 2cnd Friday all year I have been there. It was 4:30 p.m. and 83 degreess when I arrived. I haven't got long to play so I went to the dragon rode the steep slide 5x in a row I wonder what that male lifeguards name is with the cast on his arm I see him a lot at the dragon. Maybe he should be a winner because he lets me add "The Effect" I then went over to the storm and much to my surprise the outlet today was the vortex adn that very seldom happens. I learned another slide attendants name her name was Heather at least that isn't one I asked before I am pretty sure I can remember her. I rode the vortex twice and then the abyss once. The stair count went to 662 and it was already 5:00 p.m. would I be defeated today for the first time in 3 seasons?

I went back to the dragon and once I rode the curved slide and went flying into the air and then plop down on my back I don't like that and I don't know why this is happening maybe I will just spend awhile riding that until I figure out what I need to do but that would not be today I rode the straight slide 4 more times it is so much fun and the 1,000 stair game was won with 1,132 stairs climbed and then I took "The hike" and went around the action river just once because time was not on my side. I saw Mike did he do something with his hair. There was yet another effect today they are just popping up every day somewhere else in this action river. I had hoped to get to my favorite ride whitewater but from what I could see the line was to long for me so I went on the dragon straight slide and the stair count went to 1,226 and I did not know it but that would be the "LAST RIDE" because by the time I got to whitewater the line to long and within 2 minutes the attractions would close. On the way out I saw Rachel oh it is great to see especially her close up with glasses. She did make the delivery for me and that is good. I had to be on my way since the park was closing in minutes or I could stay all night. The count for the year goes to 52,746 and leaves 47,254 left to climb to reach 100,000 this season.

It was 5:57 p.m. and 84 degrees when I left I return tomorrow morning just so happy that I can see. Summer is heating up and there is no better place to cool off than at Deep River Waterpark so come on out today. I'll see you there.

Your host hobbled. Today I arrived at Deep River Waterpark at 10:30 a.m. the temperature was 83 degrees and I began the day by taking "the hike" over to the new part and I rode in a tube on the action river until I arrived at the red bowl slide and I went up the stairs and then I came down the ride and at that hole my foot got caught smashed right at my ankle and the pain was excrutiating. Luckily I did not have to exit the water at this point in time and I rode around the action river wondering if I would even be able to walk. The pain was tremendous now I wanted to cry from pain but daddy always says real men don't cry and I add real men don't carry umbrellas. I was able to get to my feet and hobble on "the hike" and being a stubborn person I thought I should stop in health services but it was so far away and I didn't have time for that because I've got a game to play so I walked right by and went on the dragon and every stair climbed all 94 it was painful and then simply to stand and wait was painful

However the stair count went to 168 and then I went to the storm where I rode the cyclone 3x in a row without the use of my right foot which is my landing foot. If you ever notice I land on my right foot since years ago I fell off the bridge by whitewater and injured my left foot which has never been the same since. It is normal for me to land on one foot. On occassion since I like the "Eye-Popping Kim" for her I will try and stick the landing although that usually works out bad because I get nervous around her. This was tough today so I tried my best simply to float to the stairs and despite the pain I rode on the storm 8x in a row making the stair count 680 and then I went over to the dragon and rode the steep slide once making it 774 and then I had to stop and I took the "hike" over to the action river and I thought why did I do this now I could be stuck here.

The good news was that shortly I would see "The Eye-Popping Kim" looking as beautiful as ever but a bit sad today and I was only ok since I had injured myself and in tremendous pain and she told me I should have that looked at and she probably was right but with her around the pain didn't feel so bad but then she left and I went around this river 3 times and I thought well now I can at least walk maybe slowly but it is not hobbling. I then rode the storm 3 times actually the abyss and cyclone this time around and the stair count went to 966 but I could not finish today and I could not make it back to the action river so I went to the Lazy River and luckily I still know this park very well so I know where to go to get into that quickly

I went around and there at River 3 was "The Eye-Popping Kim" maybe these injuries aren't so bad if I get to see her I mean normally I am not in rivers very long although sometimes in that action river. She looked most uncomfortable in this chair they had there. At least she got the Nestle Crunch carmel candy bar that I had Rachel give to her and it was not melted today I bet it would have melted. I learned that her favorite food after much thought she said was lasagna. Hmm maybe I can take her to lunch or dinner at the Olive Garden once I did buy a former lifeguard of Deep River Waterpark who still claimed she did not have me thrown out of the park lunch there and that was not a date. I just enjoy having company to eat with. NOw I experienced the problem which is why I don't stay in rivers I could feel the sun burning me I can barely walk and the lines are long so after 3 times around I told "The Eye-Popping Kim" to have a wonderful day and asked how she was and it was an 8 on a scale of 1-10 and that is like the lowest she has ever been since I have known her. Of course in the looks department she always has the perfect 10 in my book.

It was time for the "the LAST RIDE" and could you believe Justine was working today and I saw her at 2 different spots I haven't seen her for a very long time. Apparently she just gets other people to work for her and then shows up every once in awhile. She was to get the "The LAST RIDE" but by the time I camed down she was gone but I did win again but it was close with 1,030 stairs climbed today and it took awhile. The stair count goes to 53,776 leaving 46,224 more to climb to reach 100,000. Tomorrow it is going to be hot so come on out to Deep River Waterpark. I may need to take a rest but you never know with me for sure I return for Tubin Tuesday on Tuesday and then it should be "Lets Pretend The Day Didn't End" on Wednesday that is my favorite thing. Oh it is July so that traditionally is time for Mark T. Presents Gabbin With Guards but this year due to the addition of slide attendants it has become

(Best Lifeguard and Slide Attendant Things According to Your Host)

Click on anything above to see this area which is now under construction. You are encouraged to come out to Deep River Waterpark to form your own opinions and feel free to e-mail me at in2deep@xvi.net Summer is flying by so you need to come to Indiana's Premiere Waterpark Deep River Waterpark of course right now. I'll see you there.

I think I ended up in an episode of the Twighlight zone this evening. It was 4:23 and 78 degrees when I finally returned to Deep River Waterpark and yes I was wearing a jacket. Earlier I was in some rain and I don't like my extremely beautiful hair to get messed up. At the season passes I just stood there thinking this girl's hair is so beautiful she is very friendly why can't someone confirm that her name is Kristen or give me the right name I mean she is always saying hello and so nice. Well eventually she did not get up since she was very engrossed and I did get scanned in

Tonight I started on the steep dragon slide and I noticed that I did not have enough energy yet to do "The SHOW" you know probably coming home from a job from 6:00 a.m. until 2:30 p.m. driving an hour and then getting a bag together quickly might take some energy I suppose. I therefore took "The Hike" over to the action rive and on my way I saw "The Sensational Sasha" describing what an action river was apparently it is like a lazy river but it has some effects that spray you throughout it. She was not wearing a jacket so lets get this straight your host who never wears a jacket comes to the park in a jacket and the person who always wears a jacket is not wearing a jacket. There is a lot wrong with this picture.

I went around the river 3 times I think where is Megan to count this stuff for me? Now I was ready to do "The SHOW" and on this time I would alternate between the curved slide and the steep slide still having trouble on that curved slide I do not like my body to leave the slide yet there I am a few inches in the air at the curve. The stair count quickly went to 1,034 and easily tonight the 1,000 stair game was one. I then went on the vortex where hey see I remember Matt and he was the Last Slide Attendant Standing. The others were sitting in the water and have you ever heard that song by Afroman the song "The I got High Then I got High" were playing through because I must be trippin to see this right. (Mark T. does not condone the use of illegal drugs and does not drink and may or may not smoke but if I do smoke I smoke Lucky Strikes). Apparently these slide attendants isn't that one named Barbie got wet so then they were cold and it isn't cold if you remain in the water it is true. They were having a lot of fun and I love that. I believe it was described as "The Best Day Ever" You know when I see so much fun it makes it hard for me to pick a Slide Attendant of The Year because I think everyone should have fun.

I went on the abyss and then the cyclone followed by the abyss 2x and I could not get this girl to admit her name is not really Jillian I mean who giggles when they say there own name that has to be a tell that she is not telling the truth I mean remember years ago that Jill S who for several weeks told me her name was Kelly this could be a similar situation. The stair count up to 1,354 and look today I get to go on my favorite ride whitewater. However I do get this slide attendant who is either always mad or sad I don't know which this girl has to have some bad days or something. However she has a very nice white bow which was in her hair today. If I knew her name I would award her the best bow and that would be a new award but I love that bow.

I once again took "The Hike" and now I saw Rachel she had some new glasses do you think those are the best I might. They were $4.00 at a flea market you got to love that value for your buck. She wanted to know why "The Eye-Popping Kim" gets a nickname and she is new and Rachel has been around longer. I tried to explain that I have a crush on the "Eye-Popping Kim" I mean if you read my journals I would worry but you would also see that she is the girl I most want to date and she makes me tingle and such which no one has done in years. I do not like Rachel like that. You know this is the 2cnd request I had for a nick name this season. I mean if I like you like that you are adjective worthy and then I find one. I have already used several nicknames do you know them all Mark T's Descriptors through the years I will see what I can do for Megan well if she can deliver then I will forever be in her debt but I have no confidence so I would bet against that. I did learn Rachel likes ice cream and candy and she loves flowers her favorite irises. I am not taking this as a hint to send her flowers I love to send them but currently no one to send too. I would send some to "The Eye-Popping Kim" but I think that might scare her. It is a lot of fun for me. When I was in practice for myself I would send lots of flowers my bankers hated it stop sending flower and spending money. Hmm adjectives for Megan and Rachel that is a tall order. I do have a lot of flowers in my back yard. My sister helps me plant them 2 of the last 3 years she has been pregnant when planting at least this time she is due November 6 last time we were planting in May and she gave birth on June 4

It was great to see Dustin back I was worried because haven't seen him for a very long time and people need to see Dustin as a lifeguard to feel comfortable at Deep River Waterpark. I mean isn't he a slam dunk to win the best 10th season lifeguard I know of no other person that has been a lifeguard at the park so long. Next I went and rode the abyss 3x and then it was time for the 2cnd show. This one mainly the straight slide and just a few times on the curved slide well 3 actually. The stair count went to 2,530 and that took a lot out of me. Plus remember tomorrow I get to play "Let's Pretend The Day Didn't End" when around opening time I return to Deep River Waterpark you got to love that.

I went around the classic lazy river and still this girl insisted her name was Jillian evn though when I asked her what she dotted her i's with she said a dot. Obviously if you had a name like Jillian you would use either a smiley face or a heart this makes no sense. I could ask anyone around but there conveniently was no one around. I then took "the Hike" thinking that still a bit worn down and now the lifeguards just moved a few spots and Rachel's legs hurt from standing all night long and she would next be over to top of kiddie. Around this I went 2x I think this time and except for those effects which aren't so nice when the sun is going down it was rather relaxing. As I was taking "the hike" back I could just see this hair going back and forth it was in a ponytail it was actually rather violent looking and there was this girl who claims to be named Jillian and I let her know this is distracting and then she claims she isn't even aware of this. I mean it is flying from side to side. This hike was lonely and strange I am pretty sure the chicken dance was going on with the lifeguards near the wave pool leaving me to wonder what on earth is going on here tonight. I have been to many Tubin Tuesdays I have seen from no one in the water except for me to worse then the infield at the Kentucky Derby when the park is packed and the staff is at minimum levels everyone is different this one was so strange. Now I could not get myself to leave I hadn't been to the park in so long.

I did not think I had another slide ride in me. I was closest to the Lazy river so that is where I went. I learned this girl was Siobhan's sister but she could not spell Siobhan backwards and I can't spell it forward. The best I could make out was that her name must start with a K it could be Kate, Katlin, Katey or something like that when she was on duty at the action river she kept smiling and smiling nor talking actually is allowed over there I was going to have to throw her out but she wasn't worried. I could not see any resemblence like if you put my sister together they look similar well not right now cause I got the one who is due November 6. Maybe I needed my glasses. With this music so loud at this lazy river I couldn't heear a thing so I can blame it on that so what is her name. She somehow knew that I am Mark T.

The stair count today 2,530 and for the year makes 56,306 climbed this season in 25 visits leaving 43,694 left to reach the 100,000 stair goal. It's my favorite time when tomorrow your host returns around the opening time at 10:00 a.m. for "Lets Pretend The Day Didn't End" I left the park at 8:05 p.m. and in less than 14 hours it will open again and I will be there. You can be there two by packing up your things and coming to Deep River Waterpark today. I'll see you there.

To your host there is no greater time then when I play "Let's Pretend the Day Didn't End" this happens when at a Tubin Tuesday so the park is open late. Last night I left after 8:00 p.m. and I went to bed after 11:00 p.m. and woke up at 9:15 a.m. which meant it was time to get right back to Indiana's Premiere Waterpark Deep River Waterpark of course. It was a very good day as my home town of Dyer Indiana was named #97 in the top 100 cities to live in the USA. I arrived at the park at 10:15 a.m. the temperature 79 degrees.

Now you know on Saturday I was injured on the red bowl slide actually hobbled as my right foot got jammed right at the ankle as it dumps you out and the pain was excrutiating yet I stil climbed over 1,000 stairs in pain on that day. I did take a few days off to recover. When you fall off a horse they say to dust yourself off and get right back up and since I arrived early I would use this for the red bowl slide injure me will you. I am back with vengence against this slide. If you want to ride bowl slides I have noticed the lines get long quickly so you need to be at the park early. The red bowl slide and I battled and I watched its moves carefully because it tried to get me again but I knew what it was up too and I rode that slide 14x in a row until the line was to long. The stair count to 1,036 and I win again.

I took the long lonely "hike" back to the old part of the park and on my way just as last night I saw this lifeguard who alleges her name is Jillian her hair was not swinging violently today. Apparently she called this style a messy bun. I do not know if that is an appropriate hairstyle and I am not telling anyone to wear there hair but everyone knows I love ponytails and my favorite is braided pig tails. I then went on the straight dragon slide and at the top I met some young boys who were from Brazil and so happy to be in the USA they spoke Portugese. They were with something called the international childrens village for the summer.

I then was able to get on my favoirte ride white water as the line was not to long. I like that ride the best. I then went over to the storm where I was able to follow the usual pattern and that is a rarity these days. I went on the storm a total of 10x and the stair count went to 1,814 and then I took "The hike" over to the action river and I around I went as I prepared for "The SHOW" and as I took "the hike" back I saw Justine wow that is an awful lot of her and she had this tattoo on her back apparently she got it in March and the descritpion according to her is "The Bacardi Bat Baby" hmm. I was on time #6 the Show is 8 or more times although usually I consider it 10. On time number 6 "The Show" was ruined by the new lifeguard below who very rudely yelled at me about how to ride the slide. If you simply yell at me I would probably just laugh but why must you be so rude. In the show there is "The Effect" and "The Full Effect" and if no effects are added one gets bit by the dragon. I have ridden the dragon more times than anyone until someone can prove otherwise. This year I Have ridden it 100s of times. I have never been injured I have seen backs bleed with the suggested riding method and I can point out anyone that has ridden that ride in the last 10 minutes by the marks on their back. So if you haven't ridden the slide more times in your entire life than I have in the day just let me be. She really disgusted me.

I took "the hike" in disgust to the action river and around I went this time it was 2x and Zack whose name I wasn't 100% sure of since I did not see his teeth which are so white thought I may be follwing him I never follow anyone just some rotations are more in line with what I do. Do you thing Zack shuld be named the 2005 Male Rookie Lifeguard of the Year? I put him in the finals and shortly we will see at

(Best Lifeguard and Slide Attendant Things According to Your Host)

Click on anything above to see this area which is now under construction.

who the winner will be. Now as I walked back I've had nightmares like this and I thought it was going to come true there was some sort of John Deere Machinery coming at me and I was waved on but I thought I knew I was going to be killed by John Deere I just never thought it would be here and this is how it is going to end. Since I am writing this it obviously didn't end like that but it could have.

The girl who ruined "THE SHOW" was still at the dragon to bad. I therefore just went to the lazy river and this girl who alleges her name is Jillian was in the same chair she was last night. In order to prove her name is not Jillian I asked if I could take her picture which I did personally so you can at least see the best bag in the park according to your host Mark T and can tell me her real name. As long as I was in the picture taking mood I should get that Rob, Chris and Joe to take a picture together because man is that competition tough. Today they all entertained me. Over at the action river Chris directing a dump truck to dump dirt and then I think he was directing that John deere machine. Joe at the new restrooms with a water fountain spraying water out the side and Rob going by the wave pool the back which I do walk buy sometimes I like to see and how did he balance all that stuff in his hand. Will they make Mark T declare a tie and everyone knows I don't like to do that.

Well I did take some pictures of the new part because I know thats what you want to see. Some of you say well I don't know what I am getting into so you'll see the new part very soon on this site. It will be sooner rather than later. I climbed 2,378 stairs today making 58,684 for the year and leaving 41,316 left to go to reach the 100,000 stair goal. I left the park at 2:08 p.m. it was 81 degrees. I return on Saturday. I learned the male lead with the green hat was Justin and I was right the tall one is Patrick he is the one that said he was "Excellent" never heard anything like that. I do remember his sister Amber who kept him in line. So I had to get his name right so I could put him in the 2005 Male Lifguard of the Year competition. On Saturday night I'll be at the Raddison to see the Music Man and mark your calendars now for 2 nights only my sister and I reunite at the St. Maria Goretti Parish Carnival in Dyer Indiana on Thursday July 28 and Friday July 29 around 6:30 to 9:00 p.m. will be in the casion portion running a wheel of some sort but you have to be 21 to gamble. We will be there. This weekend don't miss in Highland Indiana St. James Fest. In Homewood Illinois Homewood Days. In St. John at St. John the Evangelist St. John Fest and of course the movie I've been promoting all summer opens on Friday July 15, 2005 Charlie and The Chocolate Factory starring Johnny Depp I wonder if it will play long enough so that "The Eye-Popping Kim" will see it with me. If the regular screen isn't enough I'll take her to Navy Pier to see it in IMAX. That's a lot of things but most importantly come on out to Deep River Waterpark before summer just passes you by. I'll see you there.

Saturday July 16, 2005Day #1

Sometimes days can be very different. Today I arrived at Deep River Waterpark at 10:13 a.m. the temperature was 78 degrees and it was raining the skies were cloudy. Now I do love to play in the rain but it does become a nightmare when in the rain can't really put on the sunblock but later the sun pops out and shines brightly. With the rain the lines were not so long so I started the day on my favorite ride of them all whitewater I got to go all the way up to the top with no waiting at all. I then took "The Hike" over to the action river which I rode around until I got to the red bowl slide as I have a score to settle with it.

Next I went over to the dragon where I was once again doing "THE SHOW" and for the second time in a row "THE SHOW" was ruined. Today it was by chaos. I did manage to ride the steep slide 8x in a row which is technically actually considered "THE SHOW" however for a "BACK TO BACK SHOW" there needs to be 20x and for the "BACK TO BACK TO BACK SHOW" there needs to be 30x in a row and so far the most I have ridden the dragon in a row I believe is 35x this year. This time it was simply runined by chaos at the top of it as there was just a large group of people some may have been going on the slides some were not who knew which one and there was nothing that even resembled a line. That makes it a little rough.

I again took "The Hike" and most intrigued that the child and adult interactive playarea is suppose to open today but for now people just guarding it so tha tno one goes into it. Can you believe that Chris got yelled at for not digging a hole fast enough so he could not take pictures for me the other day. It sounded like a description from a prison movie. Now at this particular time the KISS 103.5 fm radio station had this tent in this secluded area and from the rain it was slippery and each time I nearly felll and each time these people at this tent which had no visitors would tell me they saw that. Being harassed by a group of people that can't even attract a crowd. Eventually then moved on up to near the wave pool and actually got large crowds and one of their things was karaokee and some of it was very bad. Back in the day when I was running for Lake County Recorder I was at the DRIP(da regions irish parade) dance and I sang some Karokee to songs in fact and at that time some people advised me that it would be best if I never sang in public. I felt that way about some of these performances.

While in the new part I rode on the yellow bowl slide and around the river I went and then to the abyss and it was very slow reach the 1,000 stairs today it was I think after 12:30 and the stair count was 1,008. I had been told this new area they hoped would be open at 1:00 p.m. so I like to be around when things open so I stalled around for that went on the cyclone which is my favorite storm ride and that gave them like 12 minutes to open this up and surprise surprise 1:00 came and went and they still had not gotten this open. Now my sun tolerance is not very good and starting in the rain was not helpful so I would try and see if I could make it to the opening.

I went to the dragon only once so good to see Justine so much this week her sister has a bridal shower tomorrow and maybe we can get Justine married off soon that would be great she currently is in love and that makes me happy for her. I want to marry everyone off except myself of course. I learned many years ago that I have something wrong with me so that I will never ever be loved. I don't know what it is or I'd fix it and I have given up trying on that just deal with it but I don't want it to happen to anyone one else. If you are on the card where you are at the bottom of the dragon it is going to seem that I am following you since I normally start at the action river to get the energy and then go to the dragon and back to the action river. I do not follow anyone or look for anything my object is to climb 1,000 + stairs a day and have fun doing so now certainly I am very happy to see certain individuals and sometimes I do alter what I am doing to avoid people

I rode the dragon with "The FUll Effect" it is what I like to do and then there was a chair just outside the ropes so I could observe Justine observe the people at the dragon and then I went and saw the new part still was not open but got as many people as could to get Chris to explain to them that it could be minutes or hours they had to make sure pressures are right. Jason and oh what is that slide attendants name that was just guarding there all day tell me the green slide is definately better in this attraction. Well I could feel the sun on my back burning my face so it was time for "THE LAST RIDE" and for that lets start right back where I began the day which was whitewater plus for the 1st time all day I saw

so for the second time this season favorite ride favorite person how could the day get any better than that. Down I went and stuck the landing eat your heart out Kerri Strug I only stick the landing because I really like her. The day could get better because I asked her if I could take her picture and she said sure and then I could die right then and be a happy person but I did not die. Hopefully one of these pictures comes out and will allow me to be happy for a long time to come. Lucky for me she had to be wearing the sunglasses as I am pretty sure with her beautiful blue eyes she could get nearly anything she wanted from your host just by hypnotising me with those.

Now I best get going because I'm on a high. I still had like 8 pictures left in this camera. I also have another camera with like 20 pictures remaining that is some pour planning but today I even tried to take pictures while inside the bowl so that you could see what that is like. It was important to get these to develop right away but first had to take a few more but I don't know if you will see them they are of my flowers and the breezeway of my home plus my nephew Matthew T who joins me on July 28, 2005 weather permitting as a special guest in Mark T's "SaY GOODBYE TO JULY" which is actually currently going on and soon will have more details.

The stair count today 1,210 and took a while to get to that makes 59,894 stairs climbed this season leaving 40,106 more to reach the 100,000 stair goal this year will I make it? YOu will have to wait and see. I left the park at 1:43 pm. the temperature was 89 degrees I did see the bucket drop for the 1st time on my way out. Meanwhile its going to be very hot so why not come on out to Deep River Waterpark today. I'll see you there.

Sunday July 17, 2005 Day #2

It was 9:56 and already 84 degrees whe I arrived at Deep River Waterpark. In the last 2 attempts "THE SHOW" was ruined so I figured today when the park opens I would do "THE SHOW" and up the stairs of the dragon I climbed to find that the dragon was not even turned on apparently they forgot to turn it on this morning at least that was just a call remember that one time they sent me from the storm to find someone to turn it on? It took about 10 minutes but finally it roared and we were in business and it was on with "THE SHOW" and in 20 minutes I had finally done "THE SHOW" I then went over and rode the vortex followed by the cyclone. The stair count went to 1,068 and win again I did.

I took "the hike" and today Lindsey III aks "The MOdel" was not wearing a jacket today I would feel more comfortable if she was wearing a jacket yesterday I was more comfortable without the jacket. At least she was feeling better today. I went and rode the red bowl slide first and I thought I had one but then it had the last laugh as it dumped me into the jagged rocks of the action river and there once agin went my right ankle it cut it up and there was blood and I thought I should really get this taken care of but I am a stubborn person and there are stairs to climb and the line to the yellow bowl slide was not to long. I rode it 2 more times and the stair count went to 1,290 and around the action river I would go and I would be tested but I managed to find her name in the beautiful people file her name was Jennifer remember her. She let me splash her but it was not as fun as splashing "The Totally Terrific Tina" there has to be someone in this park that would be fun to splash.

There was Rachel she apparently has been attacked by bats despite the fact that bats are nocturnal and live in caves. She got to see how poor my hearing was because in that one area near all the effects on the island I can't usually hear a thing. Also appearing in the action river today and guarding 2 spots at once Lindsey IV she was having a very good hair day. I wanted to take her picture but I did not have a camera on me there were some good photo ops and I only have the flash available currently stil have like 20 pictures to take on that. Since Lindsey IV told me to ask Lindsey III why she wasn't wearing earrings I did as told and learned that people could grab onto them and rip her ears off. I have never seen that happen. Isn't it more likely that they would grab your whistle and choke you?

I managed to go on the yellow bowl slide 3 more times and the stair count went to 1,512. I learned that Jennifer could do the splits and there is this picture I have been tryign to get for years and once I had one lifeguard agree to it where she does the splits and we just have David there thinking yet it alluded me. Then there was a surprise apperance by my nephew Matthew T. along with my older sister and brother in law. My nephew does not like the effects and then to answer the question finally I made my way with them over to the Child Adult Interactive Play Area boy we need a better name for that and we got soaked and you are going to and eventually we made it up to the top and it is to bad Rachel was not longer guarding there. The bucket fell many times and when we got to the slides it was chaos there was no semblence of order even and downt he blue slide I went and then they sent my nephew down and he came down and I had to pull him out like a fish because a little deep for him at the end where the water builds up but once he saw his mom and dad he was happy. My nephew did not like Lindsey IV. He was undecided on Rachel.

The sun was bright and this morning I went to be at 1:20 a.m. that is kind of late for me. I had one "LAST RIDE" and for the only time this year I had a rider my nephew which lifeguard or slide attendant do you think Mark T would most like to ride with on the storm? It was the vortex because that is the easiest of all the storm rides and his mother let me take him since I am very experienced on these slides and can manuever however need be. He did not like the top where water comes on your hair but he liked the rest and that was the best. So we are now into presented by your host

including

where your host names his top ten x 2= twenty guys and top ten x 2 = twenty gals at Deep River Waterpark this season in completely random order and folks the naming has begun at

(Best Lifeguard and Slide Attendant Things According to Your Host)

Click on anything above to see this area which is now under construction. Plus soon scheduled to come this week Deep River Waterpark as you have never seen it before and some of the winners, contenders and some of the .

On July 28, 2005 the only Thursday scheduled to appear this year but some things change it is the return of my nephew Matthew T. Today the stair count 1,576 making 61,470 climbed this season leaving 38,530 left to reach 100,000 stairs this season. Yes I have ridden one of the new slides not the green which everyone says is better so far but today hopefully you didn't see over there in that new area there was a wardrobe malfunction luckily had my sister and brother-in-law to cover me. I left the park at 1:28 p.m. the temperature was 91 degrees. You should see a lot more of Mark T. as I and you can to by coming to Deep River Waterpark today. I'll see you there.

Monday July 18, 2005Day #3

Today is my father's birthday so HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!! It was 4:18 and 88 degrees when I returned to Deep River Waterpark and the skies were grey and it looked as if it might rain. I began the day at the dragon and rode the steep slide once and then in order to play the game to win you have to go to where the line isn't and today that was over to the storm and I started on the vortex where I learned another slide attendant's name her name was Katie does every female slide attendant end with ie? I then went on the abyss because it often times is my friend when time is of the essence and that slide attendant would feel ok if she curled up in a ball? What on earth is going on here?

I went on the abyss twice and then managed to sneak in the cyclone just once. The abyss is the quickest up and down and the skies continued to be grey. I then rode the abyss 5 more times and the stair count went to 606 and then I went over to the dragon and I rode the steep slide 5x in a row and I win again as the stair count goes to 1,076 it was good to have Matt come up so the line could begin to move. I then went over to whitewater which is my favorite ride and I rode it once 1,120 and that should have been "The LAST RIDE" but there was still more time so I took "the hike" because vengence will be mine 2x this year the red bowl slide has managed to injure me and currently I still have the scratches right near my right ankle from yesterday when it dumped me against those jagged rocks in the action river. I will tame this slide yet and it would be "The LAST RIDE" and no incidents occured which was good. It was 5:47 p.m. and 86 degrees the stair count 1,194 for the day making 62,664 this season leaving 37,336 left to climb to reach 100,000 stairs do you think I will make it?

Tomorrow its a Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop Tubin Toooooooooooooooosday as

presented by your host continues. Come on out to Deep River Waterpark on a Tuesday because you can stay until 9:30 p.m. I'll see you there.

Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop Tubin Toooooooooooooosday July 19, 2005Day #4

It was 4:28 p.m. and 91 degrees when I returned to Deep River Waterpark and what a night it would be. I began the day on the dragon it was the straight slide and then went the the storm and rode the abyss and the cyclone and then went back over to the dragon which I rode 2x and the stair count went to 410. The nice thing about Tuesday night is have plenty of time to play although one could tell the park would be packed tonight.

I took "the hike" over to the action river and around I went and a group was trying to get these bricks unwrapped and the noise level was very loud. I don't like that. I only went around once and then went to the storm which I rode 5x this time the majority on my favorite storm slide the cyclone. It was Ryan followed by Matt do you think they will make ? You will have to wait and see.

I was walking in the courtyard when how bout this if I see a person 2 days in a row I could remember their name it was Katie and this was her first Tubin Tuesday to be working. She got a high five I don't give them out much. I told her she was nervous and later I would prove to be right and that is to bad. Meanwhile Lindsey IV was not having a good hair day like on Sunday she was and I should have gotten the picture then but I didn't. She was apparently going home and she was therefore off duty and for some reason girls want to hit me I can not tell you how many have told me I really want to hit you. I don't really actually care heaven knows that the most contact I ever get and then she preceded to hit me. Since she was off duty that was ok I wouldn't actually mind anyway especially once she gets Jennifer to do the splits with David in the picture that will be sweet.

It was then time for "We are Family" as at the action river in something that only could happen during

there were both of my sisters that is a very rare occurrence and then my brother in law and my nephew Matthew T. If you looked further around in the park you actually find my parents and right where I very first saw her was

How is that for symmetry? Normally my nephew answer No to most questions but when I asked him if he liked her he did not say no. He was a no on Lindsey IV. If you love symmetry I had guess my sister's name and it really is what she guessed of Kim so she got one thumb up for sure since my sister is partial to that name and I am told "she is very cute" I have not heard my other sister's opininon yet. Kim was concerned of why had a band aid on her foot my sister is a nurse see how confused we can get now? I learned it was because she got bit by a mosquito and then maybe some scratching at least she is wise I got scratched up by rocks and have the cuts just there as a badge to remind me of the red bowl slide

Once around the action river a few times my nephew does not like the effects we went to the childrens interactive play area pictures coming very soon but once you get to the top it is just absolute chaos at those slides so we took the stairs down. My nephew does like the frog slide which you will soon see. Currently, at my home I have my sister's turtle which I am watching until her new home is built. Next we took the hike and on Sunday Matthew T went on the vortex today it was the cyclone. He does not like the first part where water comes on your head but after that he liked it and at the end he was as happy as could be high fives all around and look at me I just rode that. His date of birth is June 4, 2003 so if he can ride that slide I don't see who wouldn't be able too.

After that the brother-in-law and I rode the abyss and then we took "The Hike" over to the bowl slides and I know just to ride in the water until you get to the ladder. was still at the same place although I thinks she may have gotten even more beautiful since I saw her last. She did not know where she was going later so that I could deliver a tootsie pop to her but I was sure I could find her on Tuesday night you don't rotate very far there is an area that you are in usually. Next in the action river Jillian and she let me splash her and we still don't have a winner in my favorite person to splash maybe I need to try some slide attendants. I still don't know if her name is Jillian and she told me to ask the next guard who I did not know so I did not ask but if I had she probably would have said "I don't know but I do know her name isn't Jillian" but that did not actually happen.

We got in line for the yellow bowl slide and as we got to the final ramp the whistles up top began to blow and that is not a good thing and apparently a woman going on the red bowl slide as she was going toward it slipped and fell it does get very slippery that wood. This red bowl slide has injured me 2x already this year and I am thinking of calling it the red menance. Folks came out of who knows where to give medical attention a board was involved and they had to clear off everyone that was waiting for the red bowl slide so that this group of people could carry this poor woman down 74 stairs that could not have been very easy and at the bottom was an ambulance and hopefully she will be ok. My brother-in-law spun around 3.5 times in the ride. The stair count was 932.

One things my parents love to do is make sure I eat on my birthday my sister Kim gave me this scale which let me know that I was extremely obese that was on April 12 and since that time I have lost according to this scale which depresses me 45lbs and 15% body fat so my size has been reduced by 23% and now they really think I should eat and well a lot of people know one of my favorite things is the turkey store honey turkey I just love it and so does my other sister who is a scavenger at my home since she lives only 6 miles away she is closer to the waterpark than I am. I had some turkey and the rest of the family had to be on there way and with the glasses on my vision is corrected to 20 20 and I could see where was and it was at the bottom of the abysss

I took her a purple tootsie pop purple is her favorite color. Nearly got to watch the sunset with her wow that would have been great but a little to late. I still had some more rides to just reach the 1,000 stairs today as stuck on 932 and it was like 8:30 at this time and up the abyss stairs I went and the same 2 slide attendants from 5:30 were there and they had gotten slap happy. I don't know what was going on up there and 932 + 64 does not add up to more than 1000 it adds up to 996 so after 4 hours I was still short 4 stairs and lets see she is my favorite I need one more ride it is time for "The LAST RIDE" and it was the abyss and since I like this girl so much I tried to stick the landing and again failed but did pretty good she told me so :) I told her to have a wonderful night and she said you too and I already had getting to spend the night with her wow I wish we could play "Let's Pretend the day didn't end" on this because what a beautiful night. It was with much joy in my heart that I left the park at 8:46 p.m. the temperature had dropped 11 degrees to 80 degrees. The stair count 1,060 making 63,724 climbed this season and leaving 36,276 left to reach 100,000 stairs this season

hopefully continues tomorrow with day #5 and then I will take a break for a couple of days while I'm away make sure you go to Deep River Waterpark which is open from 10 a.m. until 6:00 p.m. daily because you need to have a BLAST and while I may not be at the park

(Best Lifeguard and Slide Attendant Things According to Your Host)

(Click on anything above to see this area which is now under construction)will continue to be updated and each and every day for the rest of the month people will be added to you may agree or disagree but the only way to form an opinion is by going to Deep River Waterpark right now. I'll see you there.

Wednesday July 20, 2005Day #5

My favorite game to play this year is "Let's Pretend the Day Didn't End" and a couple of times I have got to play it but I don't know if I will get to anymore this year. It is where I stay at the park later on Tuesday night and then reappear on Wendesday morning when it opens how I love to do that. Last night left after 8:40 but this week at the company which I work for Tranzact Technologies Inc. "The Worldwide Leader in Freight Payment" I am the acting Human resource representative in addittion to my normal title of Assistant Controller and people want to get paid this week so I have to make sure they do. It therefore was 4:25 and 85 degrees very humid and grey when I returned and when I arrived they told me just to go ahead because the season pass people left for the day and the window was closed. Then this has bothered me all year because there comes a point when you just can't say what is your name even though I knew it last year. I just keep calling her Kristen she is who I want to give Mark T's very coveted Best Hair in the Park award too but her name I am not 100% sure on and all my sources seem out of the loop on this one. So someone should help me and tell me her name or e-mail it to in2deep@xvi.net. She popped out and told me I had to have the pass scanned but I really didn't she was just giving me a hard time and I am sure I would get a harder time if she finds out that her name has escaped me.

Well I could see by the surroundings today and the time on the clock there was only one chance to win the 1,000 stair game which until today I had a record in the last 3 seasons of 120 wins and 0 defeats. I believe the last time I lost was in the 2002

when I was washed out by rain. Today the dragon was unavailable due to the line not going to win over there. The bowl slides forget it. Whitewater are you kidding me. How about the blue body slides not there. It had to be the storm and I could see it was going to be could I climb the stairs to what needed to be my best friend today the abyss 16x in an hour or so. Let's go.

Up the stairs to the abyss I went and at the top was Ryan and apparently not everyone got the note that we were not playing "Let's Pretend The Day Didn't End" because right where I left her last nighw was Stephanie does she have your vote to be the Female Slide attendant of the year but what about Barbie and Melanie and Katie and the other Katie and isn't there a Dee. Then to throw things off of the E there is a Kristen and what about all those other gals whose names I can't remember who who will it be? I learned that

was Ryan's aunt now how do you like that and lucky me she just happened to be exactly where I left her last night too at the bottom of the abyss and the storm was the only attraction I would be going on today. This might have even been better than "Let's Pretend The Day Didn't End."

I rode the abyss 5x in a row lets go lets go because time is of the essence and then Stephanie convinced me to go on her slide the vortex did she convince me or did I just switch since the left the bottom of the abyss I'll let you decide but today I wasn't going anyhere because time was of the essence can you believe this was only my 121 time at Deep River Waterpark in the past 3 seasons. I then continued on the abyss because it is up and down and then Ryan had to go I wonder why he would like to meet my sisters he just missed them last night I had both of them out and I bet that never happens again but it might you never know. The next scheduled event is when my older sister and I along with my nephew Matthew T are scheduled to appear weather permitting they join me at 11:00 a.m. in the action river on The only Thursday I probably will appear this year Thursday July 28 and then if you want to see Mark T with my sister who works with me if you are over 21 I think it is from 6:30-9:00 will be running a wheel at the St. Maria Goretti Carnival not only on Thursday night but on Friday night as well.

Ryan left boy this is like deja vu the same thing happening again didn't he leave the storm last night. I think he was on cyclone though. Ryan followed by Katie who had a rough night last night of all the slides in the whole park why did it have to be the slide she was at that that lady had to slip and fall who knows. Today it was the red shorts the red shorts and the orange shorts are normal everything is ok they are bright happy colors. I wonder if I should bring out a pair of the yellow. The blue shorts that haven't appeared much this year mean I am depressed. Then there are the black shorts which me something terrible either recently happened or is going to be happening. Also worn to honor those that have gone on from this world especially if they were younger. As you may know I'm a sad lonley guy just waiting to die and I always wonder why take them and not me. On Monday my air conditioner was pronounced dead it is a central air unit and so that is currently in the process of being bid out. On opening day the black shorts were worn in memory of "The Honey Who Handle My Money Diane Huntington" for that story see main page of the sight. However, the worst thing of all is when this site turns from the familiar blue to black and that means something really bad has happened. It's happened a few times when I was thrown out of the park, When I was accused of stalking one of the lifeguards and told if I even spoke to her I would be arrested on the spot and my attornies wanted me to be arrested and thank goodness she left but then she came back another year and started talking to me. To this day I don't know her last name and have never seen her anywhere and I don't care it's another one of the girls my sisters are in line to kill. Hopefully never have to go totally black again.

Up and down the abyss I would go and that Stephanie moved down from the top to the cage and there was a lot of litter in the cage numerous bottles and what not all in a corner. I do not like that and Stephanie had a key to something around her neck but I can not tell you what the key is too you have to figure that out yourself. I can say I did see her in a cage with another male slide attendant that was not Kevin and well I'm not going to go down the road with there were inflatable objects in the cage because that is the wrong road to take and this guy felt very lucky that I did not know his name and he wanted to get away as quick as he could from these conversations. This time I rode the abyss 10X in row and that made my record 121-0 with 1,024 stairs climbe but there was still more time and sometimes I can't stop.

I rode the abyss 3 more times for 13 times in a row and 5 from before so 18x on the abyss 1x on the vortex tonight making the stair count 1,216 making the stair coutn 64,940 for the year and leaving 35,060 left to climb this season to reach 100,000 stairs you know at the end I was walking up the storm with Kristen and she wanted to know if I was married I told her never and never will be and that may not seem nice and it may be sad but a long time ago I learned that there is no one for Mark T. When I moved to my home I started collecting dimes to give to my future wife because she would be perfect and 10 is the perfect number. That was on June 29, 1999 and "The Lovely Christina" had a shot to get them but she is the one who pointed out that I am to nice so there will never be any girl for me. "The Totally Terrific Tina" had her picture very close to them and well maybe if we knew each other better she would get them. Then there has been no one even close now I have 2,213 dimes and they just accumluate and each night I say I have no idea where I'm going but whereever it is I'll get there one dime at a time.

For quite awhile no one was close to the dimes and this season I developed a crush on well you know and well her picture will go by them but it is going to need some work because the camera already was covered with some sun screen so looks like she is in a fog but wow what beautiful legs she has. I however am not looking to get married but never say never but I can say for sure I will not be married prior to August 1, 2008 because that is when my home will be paid for and can you believe it is only like 3 years away I think I'll be collecting at least a 1000 more dimes. I mean lets face it when you have 3 fears and 1 is asking a girl out and the other is the telephone one might easily figure out why I've never dated anyone ever in my entire life. You know who is on the top of the list just once I would like to know what that is like but I know the story line well Mark T. meets girl likes girl and the choice are girl disappears for ever never to be seen again or does something terrible to me and then is never seen again so I just enjoy things while I can.

Well I take a break for the next 2 days and then continues but why not do your own you can do so by coming to Deep River Waterpark these last few days in July because believe it or not it's nearly over and you don't want to be left out of season #10 at Deep River Waterpark which features the park more than doubling because you will be left wondering what did I miss all winter long but avoid that because you don't want to have that wondering feeling see what good advice it is I should take it right and simply ask to do something sometime but I don't think I can and trying is the first step to failure. However something you won't fail at is having fun if you come to Deep River Waterpark today. I'll see you there.

Saturday July 23, 2005Day #6

It was 10:17 a.m. and 76 degrees when I returned to Deep River Waterpark and it appeared to be raining. The word of today was CHAOS. It was CHAOS just to get to the season pass gate as had to twist and turn to get by the 100s of people that were blocking it but eventually I made my way in. Today I did not have much time to play. I started the day by taking "The Hike" First I rode the yellow bowl slide and then it is on to the slide I am trying to tame the red menance and nothing ever goes right at this particular slide. The line moved very slowly and then I obeyed the rules and just stayed back at the stairs and 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 people just went right ahead of me because they don't wait at the stairs and if you do they just go right in front of you. I took the action river back to the exit Jillian did not have the award winning bag today and she said it was in the cafeteria. She appeared to have gotten shorter which just elicited giggles out of her.

I went to the dragon and rode the steep slide and the line got long so I went to the storm where I mainly rode the abyss but I did get the cylone in there a few times and it's back "CHAOS AT THE CAGE" it is the thing this host likes least about the park. This is where at the storm there is no attendant so 100s of people jam into this cage for tubes and since no one is around people with tubes simply keep going which leans to many confrontations lots of yelling, cursing and many other things that one prefers not to see happen when "CHAOS AT THE CAGE" comes out. One thought with the addition of Slide Attendants that this would be extinct but it was alive and well today. It really gets bad when no tubes are available it usually is just people waiting for double tubes and then it is is not full blown. I did ride the storm 7x before succumbing to "CHAOS AT THE CAGE"

I then went on the dragon steep slide picked a good time because the line was just past a few stairs and when I got to the bottom the line had grown to reach the 3rd flight of stairs. I returned to battle "CHAOS AT THE CAGE" I rode the abyss, vortex, cyclone and finally the abyss. Matt was at the abyss and he was going to the Childrens play area next the slide attendants just love that since they are going to get soaked. So far I have only ridden the blue slide over there when I was with my nephew. There is CHAOS over there when you get to the slides there are no lines just a mob of people. My nephew was ok with it but from his reactions the cyclone has been his favorite ride. He joins Uncle Mark T. along on Thursday this week and we will see what he likes. His mom will be bringing him and she is pregnant again and due on November 6 and she is going to try and sneak in some slide rides because she doesn't think there to bad but the signs say not recommend for people who may be pregnant.

I had reached 1,040 stairs and well "CHAOS AT THE CAGE" was to much for me so I went over to the Action river and around I would float and I was very happy that I got to see Today she had a shadow and his name was Mark I bet I can remember that. It is something that most of my life with my sister Kim I've been included in phrases by many of Mark and Kim and now how I long to be in that phrase again but not with my sister with . Since she had the shadow I could not ask her to do something sometime see how I worked that in try and prove otherwise. Seeing her did make me wonder does Billy Bob Thorton only now appear in movies with Bad in the title like now he is in Bad News Bears and previously in BAD Santa. That then makes me wonder does Tim Allen have a career in movies other than playing Santa Clause? That made me wonder if she could have any superpower what would it be and why and that I am pretty sure one day I will ask her but not today because that reminded me while I was waiting in line for the abyss earlier this girl who was in the second hole of a double tube fell on me luckily I was able to break her fall because she was small. She was sorry but at least she was ok. I was at the end of the line so if I hadn't broken her fall she would have went down a few stairs. was sorry that happened but no harm no foul. Have you noticed numerous flying insects I think wasps all throughout the park recently what is with that.

I went around the action river 3x and at the end I told to have a wonderful day and seeing her I would make that "THE LAST RIDE" and was happy as could be but then it got even better because as I was walking out there she was again and I had the spectacles on and Hubba Hubba Hubba she is beautiful I've always known that but I haven't seen her when my vision has been corrected to 20 20 and she said "Have a good day" and being paranoid I wondered why not great, wonderful, spectacular or splashtastic but then just rose up to heaven because she spoke to me and I already thought I had seen her for the last time this day.

It was 12:38 and 84 degrees when I left the stair count a mere 1,040 but that is a winner and makes 65,980 for the year leaving 34,020 left to reach 100,000 stairs. Tomorrow it is suppose to be 100+ degrees which may lead me to declare it's to Hot for a waterpark but since I am not working and went to church tonight. Next Saturday at 4:00 p.m. I'm lectoring at St. Maria Goretti and my sister and I are working in the casino at that festival Thursday and Friday night if you are over 21 stop by. Since that is all done I can come early and then be on my way quickly because continues may have to skip Monday though we will see. Well it may be to hot for me but that means there is more room for you and you want to stay cool and there is no better way than visiting The newly expanded Deep River Waterpark right now. I'll see you there.

Sunday July 24, 2005Day #7

In exactly 5 months it will be Christmas Eve and there is no time of year that I despise more than that season. It is not easy being a sad lonely guy simply waiting to die at that time it seems to be designed to spend time with other family and loved ones. Some places have Christmas in July because they love it so much and your host Mark T has what is better than Christmas to me where I try to be at Deep River Waterpark as much as possible as July comes to it's end.

Today it was a hot day 87 degrees at 9:51 a.m. when I arrived the park opens at 10 a.m. and today once again I failed to get that girl in the office name I probably have it on this site somewhere her hair is so beautiful I wanted to take a picture but at the opening bell that was a failure. Now with it being so hot one would have to climb stairs very early and so lets go to the dragon to do "THE SHOW" it is very difficult to do when the temperatures rise but up and down the steep slide I went a total of 10x and by time number 10 the line went down to the second flight of stairs before that there was either no line or a person or two

By 10:30 "THE SHOW" had been performed and the stair count was 940 and then I rode the abyss just once to make sure that I would win today and the stair count was 1,004 and then I took "The HIKE" I have this ongoing feud with the red bowl slide aka the red menance as it has injured your host 2x this year and last week I still have the marks on my right landing foot from where it managed to bang me into those jagged rocks so I like to try and tame it every day. I went up the line very slowly and rode it and it did not injure me but one couldn't help but notice how fast the yellow bowl slide line was going much faster and at the top Special Guest Slide Attendant no it still wasn't Megan Fox but Jason so I got in that line and it went really quick. I like that in fact by doing the calculations of the average time for an average slide attendant Jason's line was 8x faster than an average slide attendant line

I rode the yellow bowl slide 2x and the stair count went to 1,226 and then it was planned to be "THE LAST RIDE" and that would be at the cyclone and there with hair of blonde and in a 2 piece suit look at her was the girl I haven't seen like in two weeks Megan and she had a shadow Michelle and at the top of the cyclone with her hair out of place what's with that it was another Special Guest Slide Attendant and it still wasn't Megan Fox but it was and to show things were not right she even had a different bag today it seemed very similar to the winning bag. If she can switch bags she can switch boyfriends right? Well down the slide I went and it is not Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop Tubin Tooooooooooosday but Megan often ends up convincing me just to give her a tootsie pop anyway and ok and then she was mad at me as usual. She did have a shadow because she is one of the best.

(Best Lifeguard and Slide Attendant Things According to Your Host)

You can see a picture of Megan resucing a boy today by clicking on the above. Of course before I did this I best go on the slide again or they would be mad at me even though everything was evened out. Apparently the shadowing didn't go to well yesterday for "The Eye-Popping Kim" because today according to her she was demoted. Of course yesterday with rain they had 3 slide attendants and a shadow today with tempertures reaching over 100 degrees they have 2 people running 3 slides what's wrong with this picture.

I went to get the tootsie pops and Lindsey IV was at the cage in my favorite chair and I told her I was going to take her picture because that is the best place and you can see that picture too by clicking on the above. It shows your host is still The master of "THE CHAIR SHOT" Now there really are blue tootsie pops so I have no idea when people say they want blue do they want blue or do they want purple so I brought both and I got stopped by Lindsey IV and she wanted the blue one and I could already here it that blue is for the best and why didn't I give Megan that I must like Lindsey IV better and it is listed that I just adore so then Megan gave me grief about that I mean she has lots of guy friends and I don't go on about that. I learned that she doesn't like bugs. I don't know how that is going to help me come up with a nickname for her. She made a rescue see above and then this same girl that gives me grief about how much I like blows her whistle and calls over the eye-popping Kim so that I could take there picture lets see I am just minding my own business with Megan and then somewhow she always gets the girl I like involved. I have that picture on my dresser cause those are my favorite gals I'm trying to get the 2 of them to do something with me that wouldn't be a date right and then I can just go with I've never dated anyone in my life still. Megan is going to OZ fest this weekend I'm going to miss her again.

This picture of them is clock worthy. When I left Citibank "The World's Only Superbank" they new of my love of "The Lovely Christina" because her picture sat on my desk every day when I was sad as often I am just look at her and I would be happy but when I left they worried that others wouldn't let me display this picture so they got me this clock with a place for a picture and they told me to say I have to have this clock and the picture with that. The last picture in that clock was like in 2001 maybe 2002 of Mark T and the Devine Kara Klein. Now it sits in my game room just empty because there hasn't been a clock worthy picture in years but now there is and will the clock return to my desk or these days will that picture become my wallpaper. Usually you never see picture of the girls I like and you'll have to wait and see if I post this picture

I learned that Lindsey IV did not invite me to her Open House can you believe that. I mean I certainly would not come but I would send a check. She is saving for a convertible she said I could have a ride when she gets it. Lets see if that really happens she has like 900 for it from her dad's open house this weekend the mom's open house apparently she comes from a broken family. In September my parents will have been married 35 years. Boy who is going to be working next weekend. I would not send a blank check if I were to put in an amount I would put in her soccer number no really I have known her 2 years so I would send a check for $50.00. She said she is going to look up my phone number it is in the book I never answer the phone since I'm terrified of it. I can use it at work because I know that's all work related stuff but I don't make calls and I don't answer the phone. There is a mechanical man at my home and at my office there is a very long message that people call just to hear I am told. Once in 1996 maybe 1997 I did call a girl that was a bad experience. I think it was in 2000 or 2001 maybe 2002 during the Christmas time a lifeguard did call me to wish me a Merry Christmas I was out shoveling snow and she told me she was going to call in advance. I did buy her lunch at the Olive garden one day she had the salad I'm pretty sure that wasn't a date since I was trying to convince her to get married wonder what ever happened to her

Apparently returning on Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop Tubin Toooooooooosday will be Kim and well you know my memory as they tried to describe her short and petite she went to college but will be in Tuesday night. If memory serves me correctly she is the lifeguard that made me feel like I was the fat guy in a beer commericial as on a very hot day she jumped into the lazy river and then she came up and flung her hair back and her body was glistening with this water and these guys could tell that I really liked that. It is just a good thing that I was in a pool of cold water and will leave it at that. I still have that image burned in my head it was fantastic. I wonder if this is the same Kim but I guess I will see Tuesday if I do see her maybe someone will point her out to me.

Well it was Mark T out as I gathered my things and was on my way to the exit when My sister stopped me wondering where I was going. We will be at the St. Maria Goretti Carnival on Thursday and Friday night in the casino at a wheel I think from 6:30 until 9:00 p.m. and this Thursday July 28, 2005 my older sister and my nephew join Mark T. at Deep River Waterpark. We waited at "CHAOS AT THE CAGE" to get a double tube. This is the 2cnd rider I have had all year so have you figured out what lifeguard or slide attendant I would most like to ride on a slide ride with ok its the cyclone of the storm but with who? I'll tell you later.

We went on the cyclone and then we went to the Chidrens play area I wasn't sure this was my sister because she doens't even like to get wet yet here we go to the bucket and can you believe there is something I haven't done before at Deep River Waterpark I had never rode the green slide over there and today I did. After that I had the photographer with me and one picture left and I knwe who I wanted just don't know her name I keep calling her Kristen and not Kristen Stephen who is this girl my sister went to school with and I have asked her for years to set me up with and she had a good chance talking with her mom just weeks ago and still she can't help a brother out. We could not find this girl with the most beautiful hair and that was disappointing.

We then went on my favorite ride of them all and it was a very long wait. We saw Matt come down and boy does he have stories to tell as he went on his way and eventually we made our way to the top and whitewater is so much fun especially when you get to ride with someone. It did take very long to get to the top and by this time the park was even more packed as you can save $2.00 by coming after 2:00 p.m. and it was to busy for my sister so that was "THE LAST RIDE" the stair count 1,462 for the day making 67,442 for this season and leaving 32,558 to reach the 100,000 stair goal. My sister was amazed that despite my very poor vision I could see at the top of the body slides. I am pretty sure she is going with a thumbs down on her so the sisters are going one thumb up one down as she was shocked that she didn't have a nice tan and she is a lifeguard. She looks great to me.

As we left the park we once again tried to find this girl at the office no luck my sister told me just find that muscular guy with the tattoos have him come over here and tell you he knows everyone. That guy is Mike today he was wearing a hat. What is with that I thought Justin was the only one that wore a cap. It is suppose to be very hot again tomorrow and since I can't come at the opening bell I may have to declare it to hot for your host but after that should be at Indiana's Premiere Waterpark every single day for the rest of July weather, traffic and all other things permitting. Well maybe not Sunday but most of the rest of July just have to wait and see. So why don't you stay cool by coming to Indiana's Premiere Waterpark Deep River Waterpark of course. I'll see you there.

Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop Tubin Toooooooooooooosday July 26, 2005Day #8

When I left my home today to travel down US 30 to Indiana's Premiere Waterpark Deep River Waterpark of Course it was 87 degrees and when I arrived at Deep River Waterpark at 4:38 p.m. it was 76 degrees. According to the weather reports that I use it would be raining at 6:00 p.m. so there probably wouldn't be much time to play tonight because weather would be a factor. At the season passes through the window just the back of her head in a ponytail oh that hair it is so beautiful. I nearly had to take off the glasses as not to be so distracted and there in the office was Ryan don't you think he should make now can't he help a brother out and tell me that girls name.

Without knowing how much time I would have I decided it best simply to do "THE SHOW" immediately. There were a lot of jackets and sweatshirts out tonight I do not know why apparently some folks were cold. At the top of the dragon was Stephanie and somehow in between the times I went up and down she ended up in pants what is with that. She no longer had the key and if someone came up to get her before 5:30 she would be going to the children's play structure and with the wind blowing apparently that wasn't to pleasant as the bucket would get her every time. If she made it that way I would go over there mysefl to see the fun of getting the slide attendants wet especially if they are to slow at pushing.

I went on the steep dragon slide 11x in a row because I wanted to make sure 1,000 or more stairs were climbed today. The stair count was 1,034 and I win yet again and then I took "The Hike" over to the action river which apparently only could be guarded by guards that had names that started with M I didn't remember her name and that never makes anyone happy see what sort of trouble I have at the front gate with that girl with the so beautiful hair? Then he was no longer a shadow and seemed as happy as could be not even wearing a shirt I think the only person like that but it was Mark all on his own.

Next, there was this girl who seemed very angry although she said she wasn't but I am sure she was because she looked very angry and her name was Megan and then there was Megan again boy this is some confusing bit. How about that I actually saw Megan on Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop Toooooooooooooosday and standing next to her was "I am The Cute One" who while so cute to look at although didn't get to see the pierced navel today she terrifies me there is no one in the world that I am more afraid of then her. I asked if Megan could move her away why I took "The Hike" and of course before that once again I was stuck in this action river. Back I would come and around the river again I would go and still "I am The Cute One" was there and she didn't not think I should be terrified of her and according to her "She is the nicest Lead Guard there is" What about Mike and Justin and Siobhan and Patrick and David. I mean that is like me saying I'm the Greatest Storyteller of Our Time. I watch people scatter when she is around. She also argued that I never talk to her so I can't be scared of her. I don't talk to her because I am scared of her and then she had to point out that I was talking to her now and that was true and it was scary I'll ride any slide and have no fear but fear is here when she is near.

I went around the action river 4 times and then I had to leave that area because Megan left and that is how I am once she leaves it is "Mark T out" I went on my favorite ride of them all whitewater and I was being shadowed throughout the park today by these guys ones name was Luke it was very important I know this and while I was at the dragon I tried to set him up with a girl I mean she even said to go ahead of her so that she could race this guy down. I need to couple up people because I don't want them to be sad and lonely like me. These guys were at the dragon the action river and whitewater with me. The stair count 1,078 and the skies got darker and I went around the lazy river. That Jillian really likes that one chair I see her there all the time. It actually has a decent chair there maybe that is why she likes it. She was so fabulous today I'd like to know why cause I need to bottle some of that for myself.

Next up boy this river was the place to be and her I was so happy to see although she did look most uncomfortable in the chair that was provided there it is a small plastic chair not like the old lifeguard chairs that Jillian was sitting on and it began to rain but I would walk a million miles in a downpour just to see so I would get her a tootsie pop tonigh and before storms there is a quite and the music stopped and then the rain fell harder and harder and by the time I got back around all I could see was apparently a face. I love to play in the rain but this was a little hard for me and I'll be back tomorrow and Thursday with my nephew Matthew T. plus I really like her a whole lot so that would be "The LAST RIDE" and the stair count a mere 1,078 but thats a win and makes 68,520 for year leaving 31,480 left to climb this season to reach 100,000

continues tomorrow and then on the only Thursday I am scheduled to appear this year but you never know with me. On Thursday it's special guest appearance by my older sister and my nephew Matthew T. The days of July are quickly going by so you best head out to Deep River Waterpark right now. I'll see you there.

Thursday July 28, 2005Day #9

Fizzle is a fun word to say. It is also what seems to happen when your host proudly presents

The plan is simple come to Deep River Waterpark every day for an extended period of time. However yesterday with wind and being tired I thought I needed to get some rest so I stayed at my home and cleaned it. Today however for only time #36 this year and only time #18 in July now I wonder will I make it to 20 this month I returned to Deep River Waterpark and it is the first time this season that I have been there on a Thursday so I did not know what it would be like. It was 10:11 a.m. and 70 degrees.

It seemed rather somber when I entered the park. I started the day at my favorite slide ride since the line had not yet developed and I could play all day that was whitewater. Then I took "The HIKE" to the action river and went on the bowl slide first I went down the yellow bowl slide and Melanie the slide attendant there gave me a bottle to bring down to the lifeguard Patrick at the bottom. The word "IT" was highlighted on the bottle. Luckily this was the yellow bowl slide and not the red menance where I have lots of troubles.

He knew who it was from and I just go with that. Next it was on to fight the red menance and round one I won and then on round 2 it wins yet again as when I went out the bowl it knocked me off the tube and down the slide I came and then the tube hit me. You lousy red bowl slide I will tame you yet. Once again I did not seek medical attention although now I got a few more scrapes on me from this red bowl slide unbelievable. The stair count a mere 266 and that is going to be a problem would it be that on the only Thursday I appear that I loose my 1000 stair game after going 128 and 0 in the last 3 seasons. I sure need to get to Deep River Waterpark more. I went on the dragon the steep slide 2x and moved the stair count to 454 and the line got longer.

Today at 11:00 a.m. joing my nephew Matthew T so time was ticking off the clock and I went to the cyclone and there were only 2 slide attendants for 3 slides and the lines came to a screeching halt. This is like a nightmare 6 people in line takes 10-12 minutes to get to the slide. I tried the abyss with the same results because one goes to cyclone pushes the abyss stops completely no movement at all. Always at one point one slide was not moving. Time ticked off very quickly and I started at 10:55 on the abyss which should be quick and it was 11:05 by the time I finished riding it. The stair count 582

I then found my nephew, my father, and my older sister at the Children's play structure. My nephew was having a good old time and he even rode the frog several times which my sister did not think he would do he gets braver as the season goes on. Eventually we went on the yellow bowl slide and I've never had a rider with me on that slide so that was something new and around the bowl we would go and we got 1.5 spins which means we were sent out of the bowl backwards. I believe the bowl slides work on weight the more weight you have the more spins you get. Of course I like to play in the bowl and have been able to do 4 spins but never more. My brother-in-law when he rode got 3 spins. Most people get one or 2 spins. My sister got 2.

Oh look as we go around the river there is "I am The Cute One" and she has this smile well maybe better described as evil grin and was waving she probably saw earlier when that red menance slide just dumped me out. I was still frightened of her. She was wearing a sweatshirt. Around the river we went and then took "The HIKE" over to whitewater and up to the top we went and my nephew did not seem to like this ride of course the problem was at the end I am not used to helping people out and I had to get out of the tube telling him to hold on until I got him cause I certainly couldn't get any help from the lifeguard below adn he was crying of course he also was tired and hungry as it was apparently his nap time and he let us know. They left and the stair count was a mere 690

I then went to the storm rode the cyclone abyss cyclone and abyss pushing the stair count to 946 and very close to winning so I will go to the dragon and up I went and that made 1,040 stairs so for the 129th consecutive time I win again. Then I saw Lindsey III come to the chair and that put a smile on my face because then I didn't have to get bit by the dragon I could put in "The FULL EFFECT" and that is the most fun for me. The stair count went to 1,134 and there is this chair that they put there just for your host Mark T so I can observe lifeguards while they watch the water. I don't really think that is the case but it is good to believe.

I learned a lot about Lindsey III like the ringtone for when her boyfriend calls in is Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and his name is Michael. She didn't think my sister's hair looked that bad. This evening I told my other sister that and she told me it had to be wet. We have very good hair and we don't know why this sister doesn't and we let her know it. I do not have a cellphone and am not getting one because I am terrified of telephones. Apparently Lindsey III's boyfriend was not just calling to say "I love you" this is how I imagine relationships work never having been in one I am left to the imagination and from what I am hearing the land of make believe in which I reside is a lot better. Lindsey III does not like Tootsie Pops she did not give another kind of candy to use. There has to be a tie in and a lot of candy melts so a lot is out. There is just Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop Toooooooooooooosday and then sometimes on Wednesday "Lets Pretend The Day Didn't End" Now this year since I have been promoting Charlie and the Chocolate Factory I did consider having a wonka Wednesday where I would bring a Wonka candy on each Wednesday. I was going to go with bottlecaps but I need those small packages that only seem available at Haloween time.

My favorite candy is Nestle crunch with carmel and once I gave one of those to well actually Rachel was nice enough to give it to her for me since I shouldn't no wouldn't no couldn't give her anything except for a tootsie pop which I would go through downpours to get to her because I like her so much. One time my sister was going to have a candy that started with M to compete with me and the Tootsie Pops to see who could give away more candy but that never got off the ground. Lindsey III did not throw me out of the park and that is a good thing and she even let me walk with her to The Action river. I don't mind always being alone at the waterpark but there is this one stretch that has to be the lonliest and I think people are like look he is all alone and then even though it isn't playing I hear that song 1 is the Lonliest number.

We made it to action river and also at Action River was Lindsey IV with some odd wave people should not try and copy my trademark wave. I don't know if that is what she was trying to do or she was being a hippy. A river with 2 Lindsey's can you believe it? Plus on the red bowl slide there is this hornet maybe wasp nest that you can see the insects flying to you think they could remove that. I have had some problem with wasps this year at my own home on my 3rd can of spray they had built a little nest on a breezeway door. I went around this river 3 or 4 times I do not know since Megan wasn't there to count for me. How could she abandon me like this. You can see her and Lindsey IV now at

(Best Lifeguard and Slide Attendant Things According to Your Host)

and coming soon the lifeguard with the best bag who claims to be name Jillian that is a picture that I am working on to make it look good for you.

Well it was after 3:15 and this is the longest I have been at the Waterpark all year I believe the sun gets to me have very lower tolerance and the Lindseys were fun. I met another lifeguard named Stephanie and she had the same frightfully large white sunglasses as Siohbhan how about that. The stair count 1,134 for the day making 69,654 climbed this season leaving 30,346 more to reach the 100,000 stair count. It was 3:32 and 74 degrees when I left maybe I'll be back tomorrow not looking to good though but I will be at the St. Maria Goretti Carnival in Dyer from 6:30 until 9:00 p.m. in the casino at the money wheel so why not come on out to that. You can also see Mark T Saturday at 4:00 p.m. at St. Maria Goretti when I'll be lectoring at that mass. Then on Sunday afternoon probably around noon I'll be at the chicken dinner at the carnival. Then next Friday its time for corn roasts and it starts off in Scherrerville at Redar Park from 4:00 p.m. until 8:00 p.m. for only $5.00 tickets availble at Strack and Van Til Courtesy booth in Scherrerville and the Scherrville Chaber of Commerce.

There is a lot goin on these days but what you need to make time for before it is to late is Indiana's Premiere Waterpark Deep River Waterpark of course. Why not come on out right now? You will be glad you did. I'll see you there.

Sunday July 31, 2005Day #10 The Final Day

Mark T. as a slide attendant? Could we make a dream a reality? You see trying is the first step to failure bute I dream of it with my love of Deep River Waterpark. Today it was 9:53 and 78 degrees when I arrived for the final day of as in the past it did fizzle out as I tried to have the 12 days of it from July 16-31 but in the end a mere 10 and I was only at the park 19 days in July. It was a very somber day for me. I started the day off against "The RED MENANCE" and at the top was this new slide attendant her name we will go with Carlie because slide attendants have to usually end in IE. I've declared a Tie for the 2005 Female slide attendant you can see who at

(Best Lifeguard and Slide Attendant Things According to Your Host)

. All the injuries I'm currently sporting on my right ankle, left foot and left arm are from this red bowl slide. I have vowed to tame it.

I rode it 8x in a row and then around the river I would go Lindsey IV was by the machines good to see her apparently she isn't that observant because at this particular time I was wearing orange shorts and I went and rode the dragon steep slide 5x in a row. Today I did not have much time to play because I needed to be back in Dyer by noon so that I could get to the chicken dinner at the St. Maria Goretti Parish Carnival. I don't know who starts dinner at 11:30 a.m. Myself I would like to eat at 4:00 p.m. that is what I consider the dinner hour. The stair count was 1,062 and I won yet again how about that?

I then went over to the storm and first it was the cyclone which is my favorite slide ride then it was to the vortex and finally the conclusion was the abyss and with that I had climbed 1,254 stairs and I left the park at 11:25 p.m. and the temperture was 82 degrees. I returned to Deep River Waterpark at 2:17 p.m. The temperature had risen to 88 degrees I had to park much further away. Luckily I had climbed the 1,000 plus stairs today or this would be a problem. I went around the action river but since Megan was not there to count for me I have no idea how many times. It was a few I got kicked in the head by Michelle what kind of training is that Megan you got to watch your protege' and back where I left her before was Lindsey IV who did not see me at the storm and claimed I had been there all day despite the fact that now I was wearing red shorts. I would have switched to the blue as this day got more depressing but they weren't in the bag.

As July goes away many people leave. Like today was Stephanie's last day she is a slide attendant and 18 she claims and is going away to school she was 18 we could have had a thing like she has with all those guys. Today she was wearing ABC as flair. When you look at the waterpark season the best months are June and July and already you can see CHAOS AT THE CAGE and other things where there used to be someone there but now no one around and it gets worse as we get deeper into August and many people will disappear many never to be seen again. Of all the months my least favorite is December because I despise Christmas I haven't anything nice to say about December and most people would be surpised to learn my favorite month is actually October witht he crisp air the beautiful leaves and it is the month when I became Mark T. According to Mark T here is how I rank the months.

#1 October The weather is nice and crisp jacket weather I love it the leaves change, halloween and normally I'm somewhere at the Breeders Cup hopefully I'll be in New York in 2006 for the Richest Day in Horse Racing

#2 February Valentine's Day is my favorite holiday of them all and while I've never spent it with anyone ever I do name a Valentine and you can now see the The Contender's To Be Mark T's 2006 Valentine

#3 May On the First Saturday in May you can find me in Kentucky for the Kentucky Derby. This is also the month for Cinco De Mayo and I was a former chairperson to bring Cinco De Mayo to Crown Point. Plus this is the month the waterpark opens with the Memorial Day 5000

#4 June This is the month my nephew was born the waterpark just gets going often times the weather is cooler and I get the park to myself. In June Deep River Waterpark is fully staffed.

#5 July Summer gets going full swing and I see if I can climb 4,000 stairs on the 4th of July plus it is

#6 April it is the month I was born and it also means May is soon coming when I was in a tax practice it was a month where I was busiest so I could forget all my troubles and on occassion even my parents have forgotten my birthday is April 12. My favorite story is when they were at a Chinese Buffet that is like 3 miles from my house on my birthday and they didn't even stop in to say hello. I wish for one thing every year that I could have dinner with a beautiful girl I'll even pay it is never going to happen.

#7 March this is the month my sister was born in. It also often has a spring break in that and I was young once when you think spring it is good.

#8 September my older sister was born in this month it is also the end of the season for Deep River wAterpark I like when Labor Day is late and often I like to say to the very end and there would be a tear in my eye but real men don't cry and they don't carry umbrellas.

#9 January in January everyone thinks you have a clean slate and this year is going to be better than next year and usually on January 1 the list of the girls I would like to date is put out not here it is journaled and for sure by the end of the year I will have dated one that never happens

#10 August this month is hot and the waterpark gets staffed less with more guests in attendance last year in 2004 I was only at Deep River Waterpark 8 times in August I don't actually like this month at all as everything seems to come to an end.

#11 November. When you are a sad lonely Guy simply waiting to die it becomes tough when people go there ways to see their familes and everyone that even was available as someone to see making you feel like a nobody which is why I'm no fan of Thanksgiving and Al Gore had the election stolen from him in November. #12 December There is no month worse in my mind than the one with Christmas in it of which I only have one good recent memory. Statistics do show that December is the month in which most suicides occur it is a lonely dark time. Usually for Christmas I get a season pass that is about the only thing that can cheer me up for a few moments in this god forsaken month.

Well I digress as I usually do where was I oh yes at the Action River and Lindsey IV was going to go on break then on top of kiddie and then to Lazy River II and we would reunite there. However, I would have to stall for some time so I went on the cyclone and then the vortex and then I waited a long time in line to go on my favorite ride whitewater but I did not mind for I had nothing to do and I even tried to get a group of people to go in front of me but they wouldn't. Down I went and then into the Lazy River I would go and around and there was this girl who says her name is Jillian and she had at least 20 blue tubes by her and those can't go in the river they are only for the whitewater slide and say so. She is new so maybe she doesn't realize this and I can't make her my 2005 Female Rookie Lifeguard of the year but I have chosen the winner and in the world of Mark T I think we might go with the winner is the biggest upset we have ever had on this site. I even surprised myself

As I went around the river I happen to see waving at me "I AM THE CUTE ONE" and why can I see that she was wearing a shirt so I wasn't missing anything cause I like to see the pierced navel she must do a lot of crunches or something because she also happens to have a really nice stomach and legs and hair well you get that is why she is known as "I AM THE CUTE ONE" of course she still terrifies me good thing she was up there and I was down below. There was a Jennifer at Wavepool river she has won an award I bet you didn't see that one coming. Then there was a Stephanie with her hair in pigtails I like that. Around the river I would get and finally Lindsey IV arrived this is what I have been waiting for in these rivers all day. I mean I dodn't spend this much time in rivers.

My sister and I have challenged Lindsey IV to some bowling and she is suppose to get Lindsey III as her partner. We are just looking for some people to beat. We claim we beat "The Lovely Christina" and her boyfriend since they were to afraid to take us on and then we were stood up by Kristen who was one of many Kristen's that had the Kristen Contingent which is this group of people that want me to date a Kristen I support them if they want the Kristen to be Kristen Stephen who my sister went to school with but she doesn't like her apparently or at least doesn't want me to set me up with her. The last time we boweld we were over at the Plaza Lanes in Highland 8101 Kennedy Avenue (219) 923-3800 because they had 75 cent bowling from 9 to 4 on Friday our scores went like this Your Host Mark T. 75, 105, 125,118, and 102

My sister 63, 85, 100,132, and 115

I have no arm strength so it is very difficult for me to knock all the pins down at once because there is no pin action my sister gives me a hard time that little children throw the ball harder than I do but my sister was thrilled when I told her we are ready defeat the Lindseys. Lindsey III and Lindsey IV she doesn't even no who they are. If they don't agree we will claim victory over them as well. We are even willing to leave the tri town area and travel down US30 to bowl at the Stardust in Merrillville. There is a Stardust within walking Distance of me in Dyer Indiana. Well if it is before the season ends I'll tell you when my sister and I defeat the Lindseys if not you can read about it later I'm sure.

Since they made the announcement that the rides and attractions were closing in 15 minutes and the park itself in 1/2 an hour at 6:00 p.m. I went on my way and do not know when I will return maybe tomorrow maybe for Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop Tubin Tooooooooooooooooosday who knows hopefully I will not feel so somber but as July ends I just feel very depressed but maybe a new month although not one of my favorites my cheer me up or make me even more depressed. The stair count today 1,426 making 71,080 climbed this season and leaving only 28,920 to reach the 100,00 stair goal. Do you think I will make it I don't even know last year I was only at Deep River Waterpark 8 times during the month of August time is ticking away and time is ticking away on you to so why not come on out to Deep River Waterpark today before the season has passed you by? I'll see you there.