Princes, Witches and Other Anomalies
Chapter the First: Of which the maiden begins her journey
by Ina-chan

Story Development by Ina-chan & RJunkie
First Posted Online:  December 23, 2004
History: Inspired by Fruity Robin Challenge by Adria

            Once upon a time, long long ago... that’s how it always starts doesn’t it? Whether it be an epic tale of adventure, love, romance, conspiracy and betrayal... every fairy tale story starts with ‘once upon a time’, ‘long long ago’, or ‘many years ago’... and almost always, spoken by an invisible, detached, omniscient narrator.  

            Well, we’ll put an end to that!  

            Hello, I’ve have been many people and have been called many names by many people... some of them not very pleasant. But for you, my friends, you may call me, Shigure. For that is the name that she had given me and I... I shall be your narrator for tonight.  

            This story will have adventure, conspiracy, betrayal... and maybe even a little love and romance on the side. There will be an evil witch, a dwarf, a fairy godmother and a fairy godmother assistant, and ninjas. There will be children who fly, oh... and princes and princesses. Princes and princesses galore! Princes and princesses  in different shapes, sizes, and forms. And most importantly, there will be a lost child trying to find her way home...  

             And yes, I know all this and everything that has happened and will happen in this story... I am the narrator after all.  

            “VOYEUR!”

            Don’t mind that. Some people just can’t appreciate what is needed to be done to become an excellent storyteller. And this story I’m going to tell you didn’t happen ‘once upon a time’, or ‘long long ago’. In fact, it happened just the other day... or so.

            It was a dark and gloomy almost winter’s time, when the skies held the promise that snow would drift down from the heavens at anytime. Our sweet little flower came home from school at that. It was then that our sweet little flower decided to take a nice long leisurely bath.

            “YOU PERVERT!”

            Can you please SHUT UP! And allow me to tell my story in peace? Thank you.  

            Now where was I? Yes, our little flower had decided to take a nice hot dip. And she was humming. Softly and melodiously, humming to herself. Ah! Such a sweet song that can make even a man with the coldest of hearts weep.  Our sweet little flower had just finished scrubbing and was ready to enter the bath when the door opened to reveal her full beautiful glo---

            “Anou... actually, Shigure-san, that’s not how it happened. I mean, it’s true that the door opened when I was about to take a bath, but I wasn’t...”

            Shhh... ah-heh-heh... It’s alright, Tooru-kun. You’re probably still just... ah-heh-heh... a little confused. Just sit back, relax and listen to the story. I suggest it be the same with the rest of you. It would be a shame if you miss something important and let me tell you why. Everything in this story happened in a blink of an eye.  

            It started just the other day while our beloved little flower was about to take a bath, the door opened and walked in, a very startled little cat...  

            “KYAAAAAAA!!!!” Tooru screamed, completely startled as she closed her open blouse to cover her exposed front

             “AAAAAHHHH!!!!” Kyou screamed back as he instantly shielded his eyes, completely red in embarrassment, and frozen to his place in shock, “GODDAMMIT! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU! LOCK THE DAMNED WASHROOM WHEN YOU’RE USING IT!!!”

             “AH! I’M SORRY! I’M SORRY KYOU-KUN! DON’T GET MAD!” Tooru began babbling incoherently, her arms flapping wildly as she started to walk closer to apologize to the red-faced boy. Of course, only to allow her unbuttoned shirt to fly open again.  

            “DAMMIT! WATCH WHAT YOU’RE DOING!” Kyou screamed in horror as his legs finally received the orders from his brain to turn around and rush out of the room.

             But not before the girl tripped over her own feet at that notion. The Cat could only watch in terror as everything happened in slow motion. Our little flower tripping and falling and falling and --- POOF!

             The next thing he knew, poor lucky Kyou on the floor, being heavenly squished by a pair of soft luscious juicy...

             “SHUT UP! SHIGURE, IF YOU ADD ONE MORE WORD, I SWEAR, I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!”

            Well, needless to say, the Cat, who was now literally a cat, ran away squealing like a little girl...

            “THAT’S IT! YOU’RE DEAD SHIGURE!!!”

            It’s a joke! Kyou-kun! A joke! Can’t you take a... ITTTAI!!! SOMEONE HELP!!! GET HIM OFF ME!!!

            “Sh-sh-shigure-san! K-kyou-kun!”

           “Huaaaa!!! Good luck To-ru! Well, since Shi-chan is a little bit busy right now, I’ll take over the narration for a little bit. I don’t know the whole story, but I’ll do my best! And make sure you watch out for my part later, ne? I’m going to play a major role! Well, then, are we ready? Vondervoll! Let’s begin!”  

            To-ru, being the very kind person that she is, ran after Kyo without a second thought. Even though it wasn’t her fault at all, she felt that she had to apologize. So out of the washroom, out of the house, out to the path, and into the woods... To-ru ran and ran and ran after the cat that darted from the edge of her sight like orange lightning. She ran and ran and ran until...  

            ...she tripped (again)...  

            ...and found herself inside a hole on the ground.  

            I know what you’re thinking. It must be a magical hole that connects the real world to a parallel dimension. Sort of like that girl who ran after a cute little bunny and found herself in Wonderland or something like that. Well, I hate to disappoint you. It was just an ordinary hole.  A hole deep enough and small enough to hold a person standing up... of you’re short enough, that is.  

            “Anou... Kyou-kun? Shigure-san? Yuki-kun? Anyone?” Tooru called out from her hole, upon realizing that she had no way of getting out without help.  

            Unfortunately, To-ru was short enough. You see, it wasn’t meant for her.

           It was one of the booby traps we made some time ago, to prevent Ha-ru from getting lost. We got the idea from one Shi-chan’s books, but it didn’t really work too well because people other than Ha-ru kept on falling in it and Harii got mad.... well to make the long story short, this was one of the holes we dug and sort of forgot all about.

             So as I mentioned before it was just an ordinary hole...  

            ...or is it, Momichi?  

            Ah, Shi-chan! Are you back?  

            Yes. It’s very fortunate that Kagura was conveniently passing by to keep Kyou-kun occupied... at least until the very end of the story. So hopefully, that will be the end of all our rude interruptions. Thank you for covering for me.  

            You’re very welcome. But make sure to watch out for my real appearance in the story! I have a great part!  

            Of course you do, all of us are looking forward to it.  

            “Anou...” Tooru’s voice called out from the hole, “I’m still here...”  

            Ah! Yes, I’m sorry Tooru-kun. Let’s continue on with the story.  

            It was at this point that our little flower fell into a distressing situation. Without a doubt, there was no way out. From the trap that destiny had befallen on her lap. But wait... it is quite fortunate, I should say. For that dreary almost winter’s day, a mysterious passing traveler came that way. The first of many who will come to her aid, to the various trials this adventure would bade.             

            “Hello there!” Said the mysterious stranger, as he peered down the gap that held our poor heroine in its trap  

            “Shigure-san? Is that you?” Tooru called out hopefully, upon seeing and hearing her saviour, “Please! Can you help me get out?”  

             And that, I must explain, was how this omniscient narrator had gained a name.  

            “Of course my lady,” Shigure replied, as he pulled her out, all the while smiling wide, “But I must ask, sweet miss, what it is that you do here? In the enchanted forest where no help is likely to be near?”  

            “Shigure-san? Why are you talking like that?,” A frown marred the girl’s delicate face, “Enchanted forest? This is just the woods outside your house. Kyou-kun ran this way, so I was chasing him...”  

            “My dear sweet child, I’m afraid to let you down,” Said the man, “But none from here is any house, or town. Monsters roam and bandits prey on any unsuspecting sap that comes their way.”  

            The girls eyes widened in horror, “Are there g-ghosts as well?”  

            The man nodded, “Ghosts wander aplenty, though they are least of what you should worry.”  

            “If this really is an enchanted forest, and not the woods outside Shigure-san’s house... then how do I get back home?” Tooru wondered aloud with a small shudder, still thinking about the ghosts  

            “Ah, that is a question,” Shigure agreed aloud  

            A question in which the answer I very much know. In which, unfortunately, I had no power to bestow. Such is the fate of a narrator such as me. While I know how the story will come to be, I can only tell parts of the tale at the absolute right time, no matter how hard you beg or whine. Its part of the rules that I must sit and wait as the characters of this play choose their own fate. But of course, it is within me to give a hint or a song to help keep the story moving along.  

            “There is one person who could help you in your plight. A benevolent figure bathed in glorious light. Perhaps your wish will be granted readily,” Shigure said very cheerfully, “If you chose to come and follow me hither, I shall take you to the Fairy Godmother.”  

            “Ah! If the Fairy Godmother can help me, then please, lead me there,” Tooru replied with a polite bow  

            And that, my friends, was how it began... the first step to a wonderful journey.  

            “*snort* That didn’t even rhyme.”

            Kyou-kun, if you say another word, I’ll tell Kagura you’re hiding under the table.

           “.........damn you.”

            Good kitty.

To be Continued

Author’s Squawk:

This was originally meant to be a one-shot after Adria’s challenge in the Fruity Robin group. RJunkie and I developed the story and created the outline, and I realized that it was impossible to turn it into a one shot. So I will post the first chapter here as a teaser and please follow the succeeding chapters in it’s own title later on.

So usual thank yous... Adria, for your wonderful challenge! And RJunkie for sharing the insanity!

Ja!
Ina-chan