Title: COME BACK TO ME (1/2)

Author: Nishia

Rating: NC17

Summary: Spike, Angel & Giles are forced to work together to bring Buffy back from Hell.

Distribution: Ask and Ye shall receive Disclaimer: Everything is Joss's. Joss is God.

Acknowledgements: I wrote this story in reply to Inamorati's "Ghostbusters" challenge. I had a bit of trouble finding a reason for the guys to work together but I think it works. I hope it does.

Spoilers: This story takes place some time after "The Gift"

Feedback: smpchris@aol.com



PROLOGUE

She first came to him on the day she was buried. She had come to him every day since, in his dreams. It was always the same. He never saw how she got there, never heard her come in, his eyes were always closed but she'd be there when he opened them, pale and sad but so, so beautiful. Her long blonde hair billowing around her shoulders, the cream silk dress with the pale pink flowers, the one he liked so much, the one she'd been wearing the first time he admitted to himself that he loved her, the one Dawn had chosen for her, for him, fluttering softly around her knees in the cool breeze of the afternoon. She never spoke. She just smiled at him, her head tilted to one side, her slender arms outstretched, reaching for something or someone, reaching for him.

Trembling, he'd reach out his own arms and she'd slowly come towards him. He'd take her tiny hands in his and pull her to him, holding her so tightly that it made his muscles ache and he'd whisper, in a voice so quiet that he could barely hear it himself, "I'm sorry".

There would be tears in both their eyes and he would just hold her, nothing more. He would hold her, feeling her heart beating against her chest, against his, until the sleep came. He would fight it, fight it as hard as and for as long as he could, knowing she would leave him the minute he closed his eyes, but it was stronger than he was, and when daylight gave way to night, he'd wake up alone. Alone and screaming, "Buffy please! Come back to me. Buffy!"

CHAPTER ONE

Spike stood silently, in the doorway to his crypt looking out across the cemetery. The darkness that covered it was beginning to lift, it would be morning soon and then he'd have to sleep.

Sleep. The word filled him with a curious mix of longing and dread. He existed these days, just for his dream. In his dream she was his, she understood him, forgave him, loved him. In his dream she was "Just a dream." He sighed heavily. He could make it real, it was easy. All he had to do was sit by her grave and wait for the sun to turn him to dust. He had wanted to so many times, when the grief became too much to bear. Sometimes, when he had been drinking, he would find himself staring at the inscription on the headstone, tears staining his pale cheeks, praying for the sun to rise just a little quicker today and put him out of his misery. But something always stopped him. Not fear, he knew what death was, he had faced it once, a long time ago, it held no mystery for him anymore. It was his promise that always sent him running back to the safety of the crypt before his prayer was answered. He had promised Buffy he would keep Dawn safe and he intended to keep that promise.

He took another look out over the cemetery, then pushed the heavy wooden door closed, turned and walked back down the steps. Using his hands to push himself up he sat on the edge of the sarcophagus for a moment. His hands were shaking as he reached inside the pocket of his red shirt and took out a crumpled packet of Morley's.

"Fuck!" He hurled the cigarette packet across the room without opening them then threw himself down on the cold concrete tomb with a loud crack.

"God's Buffy I miss you." He whispered, then the tears came, and the sleep followed soon after.

It was different this time, the dream, it started the same way, in silence but it was very different. She was very different. Her hair was matted and her beautiful, pale face was stained with dirt and tears. She looked more scared than sad, and it wasn't the afternoon breeze that made her dress move, it was something else. He couldn't see properly, his eyes wouldn't focus. At first he thought it was his tears, but then he realised, it wasn't his vision that was blurred, it was her. He blinked hard.

She reached out for him, just like she always did but this time she didn't come towards him. Something seemed to be holding her back. A tight knot began to form in the pit of his stomach and a wave of nausea swept over his panic stricken body.

"Buffy!" He called, raising himself from his resting place. "Buffy!"

Help me Spike. She pleaded wordlessly. Please help me.

Desperately he grabbed at her, trying to keep her from leaving him, but he missed. She was slipping away fast and there was nothing he could do to stop her. Once again he screamed her name, then, there was nothing.

When he woke up he was shaking. His body was covered in a thin sheen of perspiration and he gasped for air that he knew he didn't need.

Fuck. Where had he thrown those smokes? Not sure his legs would hold him up for long enough to complete the journey, he gingerly made his way over to where the box lay, snatching them up and leaning his full weight against the wall before his limbs could betray him.

It seemed an eternity before he was able to muster up enough control to light the cigarette without setting fire to his own fingers, and he took a long deep drag, as he pondered the dream he'd just had. Was it even a dream? He didn't know. It had been so vivid. He was sure something had been in the room with him, he had felt it, and he could almost smell her in the room with him still, the scent of cherries and almonds hung heavily in the air. She had been here. It hadn't been a dream. It was real. Buffy was in trouble, and for reasons he couldn't even begin to fathom, she had come to him for help.

He should let the watcher know, he told himself and he wondered how long he had been asleep.

"Alright alright. I'm coming." Giles mumbled, as he made his way downstairs and along the hallway to The Magic Box's back entrance. He reached up and slid the bolt back then he made sure the security chain was in place before he turned the knob and opened the door. "Spike?"

"That's me. Open the door watcher, I need to talk to ya'. It's about Buffy."

Oh! Shame made Giles's cheeks colour as he realised that since Buffy's death, noone had bothered to see if the vampire was okay. He had been in love with her, they all knew it and he had proved his devotion to her on numerous occasions, yet they still continued to treat him like a pariah. Suddenly, he felt a great deal of sympathy for the blonde vampire.

"Er, uhm, yes of course, come in." Spike fidgeted impatiently on the step while Giles unlocked the door properly, then pushed his way in.

"Ta Pet." He said, and he stamped out his cigarette on Giles's wooden floor. Giles tutted.

"Do you realise it's the middle of the night Spike?" He frowned at the stupidity of his statement. "What am I saying? You're a vampire, of course you know it's the middle of the night. What do you want Spike?"

"A drink'd be nice. I don't s'pose you\rquote ve got any blood. Never mind, whisky'll do. Upstairs right?"

"Huh?"

"Your flat. It's upstairs?"

"Oh! Yes, go on up." Spike was already waiting at the top of the stairs and Giles thought to himself that he didn't think he'd ever seen the vampire in quite such an agitated state. Sighing to himself, he followed Spike up the stairs and into the small but immaculate living room.

Spike, immediately plopped himself down in the centre of a large, leather couch, stretching his legs out as far as they would reach, and lit another cigarette.

"Nice place." He said, absently.

"Thank you. I'll go and get that drink shall I?" Spike didn't answer. Giles disappeared into the kitchen and a few minutes later, returned with a mug. "I don't have any whiskey." He said, handing the mug to the seated vampire. "Will this do?"

He watched a smile briefly creep across Spikes face as he realised it was warm blood in the mug and the heaviness in his heart lightened just a little.

Hungrily, he drained the mug, savouring the taste, not because it was good (it was pigs blood), but because it meant the watcher had, at sometime given him enough thought to get the stuff in just in case he came round. He put the empty mug on a small table beside the couch.

"Well. You're just full of surprises ain't ya'." For a moment, the two men just looked at each other. Spike took a drag on his cigarette, blowing a circle of smoke up into the air and Giles pulled a footstool up in front of him and sat down.

"I'm so very sorry Spike. It must have been very hard on you, loosing Buffy. I know how much you loved her."

"No. You don't, but don't sweat it. Broodin' ain't my style, that's Peaches' thing. I didn't come here for sympathy, I came here coz..Well, coz Buffy's in trouble and she needs our 'elp."

"Oh dear." Giles took off his glasses and began to rub small circles into the lenses with the corner of his dressing gown. Buffy's death had affected the vampire much more than he'd realised, he obviously couldn't accept that she was gone, and he wasn't quite sure what his next move should be.

"Don't look at me like that Watcher."

"Like what?" He placed his glasses back on his face and tried to sound nonchalant.

"Like I've finally lost all me bleedin' marbles. I'm not crazy."

"No. Of course not. I didn't mean to suggest you were, It's just that, well. Oh dear, how can I put this without it sounding..Oh dear."

Spike just glared at him. Yellow sparkles were beginning to form in his eyes, his fangs descended and a low growl rumbled in his throat. In a swirl of black leather, he flew from the chair, grabbing Giles by the throat, pushing him off the stool and on to the ground. The panic, evident in the watchers face, bought Spike to his senses and he quickly pulled his human face back. He stood up and reached one hand down to help the man to his feet. Giles shakily took the hand, reluctant to offend the vampire any further.

"Sorry." Spike mumbled.

"Not at all. It was my fault entirely."

"She died Giles. I know that. I'm not a total bloody basket case but I've been 'aving these dreams, I've 'ad 'em every night since the funeral.." He paused, not willing to expand on what he'd said, knowing that he wouldn't be able to stop himself from crying like a baby and there was no way he was going to let the watcher see that. "It's the same dream every day and it feels so fuckin' real, but when I wake up, I know that's all it was. A dream. Least that's 'ow it was 'til today."

"I don't follow you."

"It was different this time. It was more than a dream. She was really there. It was like somethin' was pullin' 'er back only I couldn't see what it was and she was calling to me for help but she just kept gettin' further away and I couldn\rquote t reach 'er. Fuck!" He crushed the burned out cigarette into a small shallow dish next to the empty mug then fumbled in his pocket for another before changing his mind. "I could still smell 'er when I woke up. I could taste 'er and I could feel 'er. It weren't a dream."

The watcher was cleaning his glasses again.

"So you think it was her ghost or something."

"I don't know. That's why I came to you. You're the brain."

"Yes. Well, I suppose it could be a ghost. This is a hell mouth after all and nothing is impossible it's just that I've never actually seen a real ghost before. Most reported hauntings turn out to be something quite different you know."

"So I've 'eard. So what are we gonna do?"

Before Giles could answer, the telephone rang, a little louder than usual it seemed. Spike groaned and Giles picked it up.

"Hello..Angel?" The blonde vampire rolled his eyes. What the fuck did he want? "Yes, everything's fine ..Oh, I see ..How is she? ..Good ..No no, I'm sure that won't be necessary ..Fine, I'll see you then. Goodbye." He hung up the phone with a sigh. It still irked him that Angel always thought he knew best when it came to Buffy, and insisted on getting involved in things that were no longer any of his business.

"What did Tall Dark and miserable want then?" Spike hissed, sinking his fangs into his lower lip to prevent himself totally vamping out.

"Apparently, Cordelia had a vision. About Buffy. He's on his way here."

"Bollocks!"

The last thing Spike wanted or needed right now was that brooding wanker acting all high and mighty and sticking his soul where it wasn't wanted.



CHAPTER TWO

Seeing how edgy his sires phone call had made the blonde vampire, Giles had suggested that Spike stay with him until Angels arrival. Spike had agreed, though somewhat reluctantly, and had slept the day away on the watchers couch.

Giles had been acutely aware of the vampires presence in his apartment and every now and then, when trade was slow, he would pop upstairs to check on him, leaving The Magic Box unattended. He missed Anya, she would\rquote ve been more than capable of handling the shop on her own, allowing him to concentrate on Spike, but she and Xander were on their honeymoon and after the last months events he had no wish to intrude on their happiness. He had considered calling Willow, but she and Tara had their hands full with Dawn and trying to convince the social services that they would make suitable guardians for her. It seemed that Spike was entirely his problem for the moment, and what a discomforting thought that was.

During one of his checks, he had discovered the sleeping vampire almost in tears, whispering Buffy's name over and over again with a note of such utter despair in his voice that it was all he could do to not sweep him into his arms and comfort him the way a parent would comfort a hurt child. Spikes sleep had been fitful at best and Giles had been glad when the daylight began to fade knowing that he would soon be awake.

Once the vampire had begun to stir, he had made himself scarce (there was always plenty to do in the shop after closing). It was likely that Spike would be disoriented from waking up in a strange place, not to mention shaky and distressed due to his dream and Giles knew how mortified he would be if he realised that the watcher had seen him in such a state. Best to give him time to pull himself together, he thought.

From downstairs, he could hear the vampire moving about and after about twenty minutes he joined him in the shop.

"Good evening."

"I've 'ad better. So what time's the tosser supposed to be 'ere?"

"Quite soon, I would imagine. He probably arrived this morning and I doubt if he'll wait too long now the sun's gone down."

There was a knock on the door.

Spike snarled.

"Talk of the devil.."

Giles felt certain that the room temperature dropped several degrees when the two vampires caught each others gaze and their human faces gave way to their demon ones. Neither spoke.

Spike leaned back in his chair, cigarette in mouth, hands behind his head and feet on the table in a gesture of territorial dominance, his body saying I belong here, I'm welcome, and Angel took several steps towards him in challenge. They continued to stare at each other in silence until Giles cleared his throat.

"Gentlemen. I'm well aware of the ill feelings between you and I feel I should remind you that this is MY shop and I will NOT tolerate any bloodshed. We're here because of Buffy. Remember that." Sire and childe both looked at Giles sheepishly before backing down, but the blond vampire couldn't resist a low growl. "Angel, why don't you tell us about Cordelia's vision."

Angel told them how, in her vision, Cordelia had seen Buffy jump from the tower and into the portal. He told them that she had described the hell dimension to which it led as a dark place, coloured only by the anguished screams of it's inhabitants, and he told them how Cordelia had been convinced that Buffy' soul had been ripped from her body before her death and was now trapped there.

On hearing that, Spike leapt from his seat and frantically started pacing the room. Smoke trailed behind him as he moved and his hands shook violently each time he plucked the cigarette from his mouth.

"I knew it. I told you didn't I." He said to Giles. "Something was 'olding 'er back. I've got to find a way to 'elp 'er. I've gotta get 'er back. There must be something' in one of these books." Angel and Giles watched in silence as the blond vampire began pulling books off the shelves, discarding those he felt had no relevance and stacking the ones he deemed appropriate in a pile in the centre of the table.

"Come on then." He said after a few minutes, motioning for Giles to sit down. "Lets get cracking, no time like the present, time is of the essence an' all that."

Spike was now sitting at the table himself, the book from the top of the pile was open in front of him and his eyes darted back and forth across the pages.

Giles and the older vampire exchanged concerned looks, and Giles whispered something about the dreams. Angel had heard of Spikes feelings for the slayer but he had never imagined they went any deeper than a crush. Somehow, despite their differences, he realised that it hurt him to see his childe in so much pain. Slowly, he moved over to where the blond was sitting, crouching beside him and taking one pale, slender hand in his own.

"Spike!" No answer. "Spike!"

Nothing. "WILL!" Spike looked up and immediately caught his sires gaze. "I know you loved her, I loved her too but.."

"You left 'er." His eyes blazed with a century-and-a-halfs worth of pain. Fear, rejection, love, anger, resentment, blame, hatred, it was all there, in abundance. Angel saw no point in trying to justify his actions to the younger vampire.

"Yes."

"She loved you, and you left 'er. It's your fault she and I could never..She was frightened of being left again. I told 'er I wasn't like you, that I would always be there for her no matter what, but it wasn't enough." He had always known that she had been hurt when he left but he never realised until now that his desertion had affected her other relationships too.

"I thought I was doing the right thing, for her."

"No you didn't. You were thinking about yourself and your precious bloody soul." He flew from his chair, knocking Angel to the ground and straddling his prone body, his eyes flickering gold with rage and the ridges on his forehead furrowed deeper than usual. "Where were you when she needed you, huh? Where were you?"

Shocked by his outburst, and embarrassed to admit there was a degree of truth in Spikes accusations, Angel just looked up at him.

"I, I uh, I just.." He spluttered.

"You weren't there when 'er mom got sick and died. You weren't there when Glory took Dawn and you weren't there when she made the choice to die so we could all live. You weren't there Angel, I was. I was the one with 'er right to the end, not you.."

"And you were the one she chose to come to for help." He said softly.

Spike rolled on to his back beside his sire, arms across his face. He was close to tears, he could feel them pricking his eyes and he was dammed if he was going to let Angel see him like that. Angel struggled to his feet and then reached down for his childe.

The compassion in the older mans voice combined with the offer of assistance was too much for Spike and he started to sob hysterically, his body wracked with tremors as he poured out his heart.

"I loved 'er so much." He mumbled through his tears and unneeded gasps for air.

Uncertain whether or not Spike would accept comfort from him, but feeling the need to try, he dropped to his knees beside him, drawing him into a tight embrace. The blonde vampire allowed himself to be hugged, much to his sires relief, and he calmed slightly in Angels arms.

"I miss 'er. I want 'er back. You 'ave to 'elp me get 'er back." Crystal blue eyes caught dark chocolate. Please sire. Please 'elp me."

Angel held his childe close, stroking the small of his back and running his fingers through his peroxide curls.

"We'll do everything we can."



CHAPTER THREE

Angel turned to the watcher, who had chosen to allow sire and childe this long overdue, and much needed interaction.

"He needs to rest. Help me get him upstairs."

"Yes, of course."

With Giles on one side, for balance, Angel lifted the shaking vampire up to standing, pulling his arm around his shoulder, and laced his fingers through Spikes, gently squeezing his hand. Wide eyed with surprise, but needing that stability, Spike offered silent thanks, which Angel received gratefully. At the foot of the stairs Angel reminded Giles that he was a vampire and as such needed a spoken invitation before he could proceed further. Once Giles had offered him the invitation to his apartment, the two of them managed to help the still distraught Spike upstairs, and deposited him safely on the sofa. For the second time that day, Giles made himself scarce.

Craving his sire's reassurance, Spikes' grip on Angels hand remained tight.

"It's okay Spike. I'm still here. Try to get some sleep.

"Sleep. Hhhummmphh." It was early evening, far too early for a vampire to be going to sleep, but he was tired, he hadn\rquote t realised how much the dreams had drained him until now. Slowly he closed his eyes and let sleep claim him.

Angel stayed by his childes side, whispering softly to him and stroking his hair until the laboured breathing stilled and the rise and fall of his chest stopped and he was sure he was sleeping. Carefully, he disentangled himself from the sleeping blonde and went to find Giles in the kitchen.

"Angel, can I get you anything? I have some pigs blood."

"No, thanks. Maybe later." The uncomfortable silence that followed was ended when Angel said.."I'm sorry."

"What?"

"I'm sorry. You know, for everything I did to you when -about Jenny. I don't think I ever told you I was sorry."

The watcher removed his glasses and rubbed the tiny indentations on either side of his nose before putting them back on.

"No. You didn't. I appreciate it, and for what it's worth I forgave you for that a long time ago. I know that it was Angelus, not you who did those things but you should understand Angel, that while I might have forgiven you, I will never be able to forget. I'll always see her lifeless, broken body whenever I look at you."

Giles voice was far more shaky than he would've liked, Angels apology had taken him rather by surprise. Angel was moved by Giles's forgiveness, he hadn't expected it, definitely didn't deserve it, but it was treasured by the vampires soul on a level he couldn't begin to describe.

The tension between the two of them, gradually thinned and their conversation quickly moved into the realm of catching up.

After a while, the friendly chat came to an end and Angel once again became serious. Gesturing to where Spike lay, he said.

"He really did love her, didn't he?"

"Apparently much more than any of us realised."

"What are we going to do?"

"I have absolutely no idea. It would seem that Spikes interpretation of his dream was correct but as to his claims that Buffy was really there.."

"Were you with him when he had the dream?"

Giles shook his head and sighed heavily.

"He had a dream just before you arrived. He was crying and calling her name. It was quite painful to watch and I felt like I was intruding on something that should have been private so I left him alone."

Angel nodded his understanding. He had seen Spike cry only once before, the first time Druscilla left him, but he remembered how Spikes misery had been so potent that it had made his own undead heart ache.

"We should keep an eye on him."

The blonde vampire perched on the edge of Giles couch, vaguely aware of the voices in the other room but not really listening to what they were saying. He inhaled deeply, the aroma of cherries and almonds assaulted his nostrils. She was here, somewhere. Slowly he got to his feet.

"Buffy!" He called. "Buffy, where are you? I know you're here." He closed his eyes and tried to focus on what his senses were telling him. Concentrating on that scent, he moved to where it was strongest. His eyes flickered open, half afraid that he had imagined everything, and he found himself staring down into the tear stained face of his love. "Buffy." He whispered. "Gods, please tell me this is not just a dream."

In answer, she reached up one dirty hand and cupped his cheek, brushing a tear from the hollow with her thumb. He shivered at her touch.

"You're really real. I thought I was going crazy, that I imagined you, but you're really here." As the realisation hit him, he began to shake violently, all of his vampiric strength deserted him and he collapsed to his knees in front of her, sobbing like a small child. She was on the ground now, beside him, holding his hand. "What do I do Buffy? How do I bring you back? Do you want me to take your place? I'll do it. I'll do anything. I'd die for you Buffy."

She shook her head, her eyes begging him not to do anything rash, and she threw her arms around his neck, pulling him close. He leant forward, resting his head on her chest and at that moment, Spike wanted nothing more than to stay there, in her arms, listening to the beat of her heart for all eternity but he knew that couldn't be.

He dared to look up at her and, as stormy blue eyes met emerald green, she was wrenched, forcibly, from his arms. Scores of grey, clawed, disembodied hands were dragging her further away from him, tearing at her dress and her flesh.

"NOOOOOO!!!!"

Something touched his arm, something ice cold, holding him still, making it impossible for him to move. He tried to fight it but, whatever it was, it was stronger than him.

Buffy was crying, her arms outstretched. Again, pleading silently..

Help me Spike. Please help me.

"BUFFY!!!!" He howled. "Don't leave me. Please don't leave me." Himself, anchored to the spot by maybe a dozen pairs of hands, Spike could only watch helplessly as she faded from his sight.

"NOOOOOO!!!!"

Having been alerted, by the blond vampires desperate cries, Angel and Giles rushed into the living room.

They discovered him thrashing wildly on the couch, gasping for unneeded air, tears falling in torrents down his ashen cheeks. Angel was quickly at his side.

"Spike. Wake up"

"No." The watchers tone was one of warning. "If she is real, waking him in the middle of his dream could do more harm than good. The damage to his neural pathways could be irrevocable. There's also the risk that we could sever whatever connection they have and lose Buffy for good."

A frustrated sigh escaped Angels lips and Spikes thrashing continued.

"BUFFY!!!!" He screamed. "Don't leave me." Waves of despair rolled off of him, crashing into Angel with such force that his felt his knees buckle beneath him. Sinking to the floor, he took his childes hand in his own and brought it to his mouth, placing a soft kiss in the palm. "Please don't leave me."

"Is this what he was like before?" The dark haired vampire asked, unable to keep the note of concern from his voice.

"Oh no. I'm afraid this is much worse, and I suspect it will keep getting worse until Buffy is back."

"He could be out of his mind by then." Panic was rapidly spreading throughout Angels entire body, and he looked down at the trembling blond. For the first time in almost a century he imagined his world without him. The bond between sire and childe had never felt as strong to Angel as it did at that moment, and he realised that despite their estrangement, Spike was more important to him than any other creature on the planet. For that reason, and that reason alone, he would bring Buffy back, even if it cost him his life.

Spike woke with a start, tumbling off the couch and right through Angel, scrambling on his hands and knees to the place where Buffy had appeared to him.

"Buffy." His throat was dry and his voice hoarse. "Buffy, come back."

"She's gone Spike." Angel whispered.

"No. She can't be. She was just here a minute ago." He stared hard at his sire, then at the watcher. "I'm not crazy." He snarled, his eyes flecked with gold and his lips pulled back over his fangs. "I'm not crazy. She was here, I touched her." His demon features melted away, revealing the tearful human underneath. "I held her in my arms. She was really here."

Moving to where his childe was kneeling, Angel slipped into game face and sniffed the air. His eyes widened in surprise and he looked at Giles.

"He's right. She was here. I can smell her."


Next

Back to Fanfiction